HIFH | Chapter 51

Episode 51

The mission with Esmeralda wasn’t particularly difficult.

Since it was her first mission as an agent, all she had to do was sneak into a wealthy man’s study and retrieve a ledger.

Technically, I could have sent Esmeralda alone.

But I didn’t.

It would be safer if I were by her side, and in case of an unexpected situation, I could sacrifice myself in her place.

So, we carried out the mission together.

— This is so fun. Right?

Until we infiltrated the mansion, Esmeralda giggled.

That was how simple the mission really was.

But the moment we stepped inside.

The moment we set foot in the study.

I realized something was wrong.

Why.

Why were guards armed with guns stationed here?

Before I could even process the question, bullets were fired.

Bang! Bang! The bullets sliced through the silence of the darkness, heading straight for Esmeralda.

No.

I instinctively reached out to shield her, but I was too late. Esmeralda collapsed like a marionette with its strings cut.

With only the thought of escaping, I carried Esmeralda in my arms and fled the mansion.

But…

— Unnie.

— I’m sorry.

Esmeralda… died in the end.

Just like that, she lost her life in my arms.

***

“Not even for a second, did you think something was off?”

Adrian chuckled as he asked.

“It was a trivial mission, wasn’t it? Just another infiltration, retrieving some documents—something you’ve done countless times before. That’s why you didn’t feel any sense of danger and took Esmeralda with you.”

That’s right.

It really was a simple mission.

There was no risk.

“Then why were there guards there?”

“……”

“And why did they fire as if they were waiting for you? Without asking who you were, what you wanted—without a single question.”

“……”

“Why?”

Without realizing it, I clenched my fists. My stomach churned, and my throat burned.

I lifted my head and looked at Adrian.

The amusement in his eyes made my stomach lurch again, but I gritted my teeth and held it in.

“Are you saying… the leader planned this?”

“To be precise, it was thanks to a tip from my father. Ah, and what was it again?”

He continued.

“‘Kill only the black-haired woman,’ I think he said.”

“Adrian!”

I shot to my feet, my whole body trembling.

“Don’t lie. The leader—there’s no way the leader would do that. Why would he kill Esmeralda? She was his daughter! His own family!”

“That’s exactly why he did it.”

“…What?”

“She was family, but she was useless.”

It felt like the ground beneath me, everything I believed in, was collapsing all at once.

“You know it too, don’t you? Esmeralda was never particularly exceptional. She nearly failed training multiple times. From our father’s perspective, she was a nuisance. His own daughter—yet she was useless.”

My clenched fists trembled.

“So?”

I forced out the words, one by one.

“So, the leader killed Esmeralda? Just because she wasn’t skilled enough?”

“Oh, no. There was another reason.”

Adrian smirked mischievously and stepped closer to me.

He lightly tapped my shoulder, forcing me back into the armchair. Leaning in, he spoke.

“You.”

Our eyes met.

I saw myself reflected in his pitch-black pupils.

The me who was afraid now.

The me who had been afraid as a child.

“What would happen to you, if you witnessed Esmeralda’s death right before your eyes?”

I…

“You’d be consumed by guilt, just like now. And you’d become even more loyal to our father. Because you, who desired family more than anything, destroyed someone else’s family.”

I…

“That’s what our father wanted.”

I… What am I?

“My dear Charles.”

Adrian cupped my cheek.

“Our father.”

I was nothing more than a tool.

“He never loved you, not even once.”

I was never someone to be cherished.

“He only ever meant to use you.”

I was never Baylor’s beloved child.

“So, are you thinking of setting sail now?”

Ugh!

I couldn’t hold back any longer. I gagged, though nothing came up except a bit of bile.

“Charles.”

Adrian watched me and spoke again.

“Do you want to break free from our father?”

Then, he asked.

“Do you want revenge on the father who lied to you, betrayed you, and used you?”

I don’t know yet.

If Adrian’s words are true, then the emotions I feel now…

What… is this?

I don’t know.

My mind is a mess.

Am I sad? Heartbroken? Betrayed? Furious?

No. I don’t know anything.

A deep sense of exhaustion drained the strength from my body.

I pulled my legs in, hugging them close. I sank into the armchair, making myself as small as possible.

“If.”

Adrian watched me and spoke.

“If you truly want to break free from our father’s shadow.”

“……”

“And if you want to crush his brilliant dream.”

I lifted my head to look at him.

Gone was his earlier playful smile—Adrian now wore a solemn expression.

To escape Baylor.

To take revenge on Baylor.

I must…

“Kill Lu Vantes.”

I chose to return home.

Though, I wasn’t sure if I could call this place “home.”

Was it home?

Did I even have a home?

Could someone like me, for whom even family wasn’t allowed, dare to have a place called home?

I… I…

— If you truly want to break free from our father’s shadow.

— And if you want to crush his brilliant dream.

Adrian’s words resurfaced.

— Kill Lu Vantes.

I never asked why.

No, I couldn’t ask why.

It felt like there was something massive I didn’t know—something terrifying. I was too afraid to ask.

But one thing was clear: Baylor’s plan involved Lu.

So, what I worried about was whether I could do it.

— One day, you will kill Lu Vantes.

My body wavered. I barely steadied myself by leaning against a garden tree, but my head continued to spin.

It felt like an overwhelming amount of information had just flooded into my mind.

That Esmeralda had died because of the leader’s scheme.

That the leader had only ever used me as a tool.

Yes.

Maybe, deep down, I had known all along.

I had refused to acknowledge it, but subconsciously, I had always known Baylor didn’t truly cherish me.

It was because Lu had cared for me.

Because Lu had genuinely cherished me.

That was how I learned what real care was.

And maybe that’s why, deep inside, I had begun to suspect Baylor’s orders.

Why I had questioned his actions.

Why I had calculated the cost of following his commands.

Why I had secretly started moving on my own.

If all of that was because of Lu…

— Kill Lu Vantes.

Could I really do it?

— Kill Lu Vantes.

I…

— Kill.

I can’t.

I can’t do it.

“Charles?”

At that moment, a familiar voice called from above me.