Episode 49
— Unnie!
Esmeralda, who always smiled brightly like a fully bloomed wildflower whenever she looked at me.
— I love being with you the most.
— When I play with you, I lose track of time.
Esmeralda, who stuck by my side every day, chattering away, even though I was the least entertaining person.
— I don’t understand why people treat you that way. Our unnie is truly an amazing person.
Esmeralda, the only one who took my side.
It was inevitable that I came to love her.
It wasn’t because she was Baylor’s daughter that I stayed by her side.
I simply liked Esmeralda. She was lovable.
That’s why I wished for her to grow into an even more outstanding agent.
We’re going out together this time, right?
— I love being with you, unnie!
I adjusted the schedule.
Because if it were me, I could protect Esmeralda.
Yes.
I definitely thought that way when I took her on that mission.
But where did it go wrong?
From where… did it all go wrong?
— Unnie…
— It hurts so much.
Why… why did Esmeralda have to die?
— I’m sorry, unnie.
— Because of me, you couldn’t complete the mission…
I should have died instead.
I should have thrown myself in to save Esmeralda.
— But still, I’m glad you’re okay, unnie.
— I’m sorry.
And just like that, Esmeralda was gone.
Why. Why. Why.
‘Why am I the one who survived?’
This insignificant life of mine—
I wouldn’t have minded throwing it away for Esmeralda.
No, I should have thrown it away.
But in the end, I lived, and Esmeralda died.
— It’s because of you.
Baylor was right.
— Charles. You killed my sister.
Adrian was right.
I betrayed Baylor, who took me in, and I abandoned Adrian, who cared for me. And I killed Esmeralda.
Because of me.
It was me who killed her.
— How will you take responsibility?
The only thing a pathetic, worthless person like me could do was…
— I will do anything.
Pledging my loyalty to them.
Because that was the only way I could honor Esmeralda.
***
Haa…
After Adrian left, I slumped into the chair, resting my forehead on the table.
My mind was still spinning.
‘Why is Adrian here?’
And what’s more…
‘Adrian Barthéleus?’
The Barthéleus Viscountcy was one of Catacle’s fabricated identities.
It didn’t actually exist, but through forged documents and family records, it was made to appear real.
However, not just anyone in Catacle could use that name.
The more people bearing the name “Barthéleus,” the higher the risk of exposure.
Only agents assigned to truly critical missions were given that name.
‘And Adrian received it.’
In other words, Adrian was handling a very important mission.
That mission was probably…
‘Something related to the coup d’état.’
Which meant I needed to meet him and check the circumstances myself.
— Come in the evening.
I had no choice but to comply with his words.
Slowly, I straightened up, tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling. Ugh, my stomach hurt again.
“Are you finally coming to your senses?”
I turned my gaze to see Lu looking down at me.
His blue eyes were frozen cold, and his lips were pressed tightly together as if forcing himself to stay silent.
Why was he acting like this?
Under normal circumstances, I would have picked up on his emotions quickly. But right now, I was too exhausted to do so.
So I just stared blankly at Lu.
“I can finally ask what I’ve been curious about. What’s your relationship with Adrian Barthéleus?”
I blinked slowly.
I had been worried about this.
If Lu got curious about my relationship with Adrian, what should I say?
Of course, I had already prepared an answer for this suspicion.
“I told you I stayed in the Empire for a bit before going to the Holy Kingdom. We got close back then.”
Everyone knew I had been in the Empire before joining the Guardians, so there was nothing for Lu to doubt.
But…
“A noble heir and a slum kid becoming friends?”
I figured he might question that part.
“That’s a pretty weak excuse if you expect me to believe it.”
His gaze held clear distrust as he stared at me.
In times like this, getting flustered would only show weakness.
I responded like a seasoned veteran, my expression indifferent.
“You’ve seen him. Adrian is a free-spirited guy. He’s always been like that since childhood.”
Lu’s expression twisted slightly. He let out an incredulous sigh and ran a hand through his hair.
“You said earlier that you don’t have friends.”
“I forgot because it was a childhood friend.”
Lu closed his eyes for a moment as if suppressing his irritation, then looked at me again with a baffled expression.
“And he knew both your real and alias names?”
I had expected this question, so I took a deep breath to steady myself.
“Yeah. But before I came to the Empire, I contacted Adrian in advance. I told him I was adopted into the Courtney family and that my name was changed to Charles.”
“……”
“So when he called me by my old name, Sharan, he corrected himself to Charles.”
Lu’s frown deepened.
“This still doesn’t make sense.”
“What part doesn’t make sense?”
I shamelessly countered.
“Do you think a kid from the slums can’t even have a friend?”
“Hah?”
Lu let out a hollow laugh.
“I don’t get why you’re the one getting annoyed. I should be the irritated one.”
“And why are you annoyed?”
“How couldn’t I be?”
Lu continued, his voice rising slightly.
“A stranger suddenly appears, claims to be my fiancée’s friend, hugs her, and kisses her hand. And my fiancée doesn’t say a word about it. On top of that, she won’t even give me a proper explanation? Am I supposed to just smile and accept that?”
If you break it down, he had a point.
Lu had every reason to be upset.
But that was…
“That’s a feeling you’d have only if we were actually engaged.”
I answered in a voice only he could hear.
“Lu, I think you’re getting too immersed in this. We’re just colleagues performing a mission together. This isn’t the time for emotional games.”
Lu said nothing.
No, he didn’t react at all.
He just stared at me with empty eyes, as if all emotion had been stripped away.
A sharp pang ran through my chest.
Maybe I went too far.
But hadn’t I been swayed by Lu’s words these past few days?
Even earlier, when he joked about us being like a married couple, my heart had raced.
That was why I had to be firm.
For the sake of the mission, we had to remain strictly professional.
“So.”
I let out a slow breath and straightened up.
“I just need you to act affectionate toward me only when others are watching. Please.”
Lu let out a short chuckle. It wasn’t even a proper laugh—just a hollow, fleeting smile.
“Well, since we’re in public, I guess I should act affectionately.”
Murmuring in a low voice, he gently wrapped an arm around my shoulders and smiled brightly.
As if nothing had happened.
As if there was no flaw in our mission.
“Let’s go, Charles. Mardi must be waiting.”
So, I smiled back as if nothing had happened and leaned into him.
My heart started pounding again.
But this time, it wasn’t the pleasant kind of racing.
• ❁ • ❁ • ❁ •By Esraa• ❁ • ❁ • ❁ •
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