HIFH | Chapter 39

Episode 39

I still remember it vividly.

The day my life was on the verge of fading away, about to evaporate.

Cold rain was pouring down, and the damp ground was rapidly draining the warmth from my body.

How did it come to this?

Clutching my starving stomach, I was ready to face my impending death with solemnity.

But then—

A shadow appeared in the darkness.

His footsteps were neither rough nor hurried. They were quiet and full of certainty.

His black coat, heavy with rain, clung to his form. His long hair was damp and clung to his face. Transparent raindrops slid down his forehead.

Yet, despite the dimly lit night, the silver glow in his eyes shone clearly.

He looked down at me.

With one hand tucked into his coat pocket, the other holding a cigarette, he stared at me for a long while.

Then, he quietly spoke.

“Do you want to live?”

I didn’t answer. No, I didn’t even have the strength to respond.

But he moved naturally, as if my answer was unnecessary. He bent his knees and gazed down at my fallen form.

And then, he extended his hand.

“If you want to live, take my hand.”

His hand was neither rough nor forceful.

Yet, it carried a weight as if it had never been extended to anyone before.

As I watched that hand stretched out through the falling rain, I thought—

If I take this hand, I will survive.

But.

I had a gut feeling that the moment I grabbed it, my life would no longer be my own.

And yet—

I didn’t want to die.

No matter how pitiful my life was, I wanted to keep living. I wanted to endure and grasp at something, anything.

Of course, there was no real choice for me.

After that day, I became a member of Catacle, living solely for Baylor.

He was my savior—no different from a father to me.

“You were never a child who could survive on your own.”

That’s right.

I didn’t survive because I was special. I survived because he saved me.

“I gave you a choice. You followed me because you wanted to.”

Yes.

I could have just died back then. But I chose to take his hand. That was my promise to become his.

“You are my creation. You cannot live as you please.”

Without Baylor, I would never have made it this far. I merely walked the path he laid out for me.

“I am the only one who acknowledges your existence.”

It was true.

I couldn’t exist as myself.

Only through Baylor did my existence hold meaning.

So.

I had to live the way Baylor wanted me to.

My life, my worth—everything belonged to Baylor.

“It’s been so long. Come here, let me see your face.”

Baylor spread his arms wide, smiling brightly at me.

Normally, seeing him would have brought me peace. It would have been like seeing my father.

But today, for some reason, I didn’t feel that way.

Why?

The answer came quickly.

‘Because I doubt Catacle.’

Hadn’t I pieced together information from Pinkie and reached a conclusion?

‘I’m here to confirm my suspicions.’

I didn’t come because I missed Baylor. That was why I couldn’t feel happy.

Murmuring to myself, I approached him.

“It has been a while, Commander. Have you been well?”

“No need to be so formal.”

Baylor embraced me, patting my back. His touch was gentle, yet my heart remained uneasy.

“You look thinner. Have you been unwell?”

“Oh, no. I just haven’t been sleeping well lately. It’s nothing serious.”

“Never forget that your health comes first.”

With a concerned expression, Baylor guided me to the sofa.

“By the way, have you met Adrian since then?”

Since then—he must mean after Themis’s death.

The thought of it made my stomach turn again.

“…No. I haven’t been in contact with him.”

“Hmm. He misses you quite a bit.”

I don’t miss him.

I don’t want to see him if I can help it.

But—

I forced a bitter smile and lowered my gaze.

“I will visit him soon.”

“Good. That’s how it should be.”

Seemingly satisfied, Baylor nodded with a smile before walking behind me.

I heard the clinking of glass—he was likely preparing a whiskey glass.

“Come to think of it, Esmeralda’s death anniversary is approaching.”

Ah.

I took a deep breath. My hands trembled as I clenched them into fists.

“Will you attend?”

“Yes.”

Wasn’t it obvious? I had to.

Pleased by my immediate answer, Baylor let out a small laugh.

“Esmeralda would be happy, knowing you still honor her memory.”

Sitting across from me, he placed a whiskey glass on the table.

“Of course, it was because of you that my daughter died.”

Once again—thud.

My heart sank. I clenched my fists even tighter.

That’s right.

Esmeralda died because of me.

To be precise, she died because I failed to protect her. If only I had been stronger, if only I had done more, she could have lived.

My stomach churned again. The rising bile burned my throat.

“But since you’ve taken on the role of a daughter in her place, I suppose it’s fine.”

“Th… Thank you, Commander.”

Gasping for breath, I bowed my head. Baylor’s laughter only made my head feel heavier.

“I was planning to summon you soon, anyway. Your name has been making waves in high society lately.”

He must be referring to the time I accidentally saved a few nobles and ended up on the front page of the newspaper.

I quickly responded.

“That was purely coincidental.”

“I know.”

Baylor smirked.

“Because I know you would never interfere with our work.”

My heart grew even heavier.

I clenched my fists atop my thighs and steadied my breath.

“Commander.”

I fixed my gaze on Baylor.

“I have a question.”

“Go ahead.”

“What exactly is this ‘work’ of ours?”

Baylor didn’t answer.

Instead, he simply stared at me.

His silver eyes were unwavering.

They were neither cold nor warm—just solid and firm.

I instinctively straightened my back.

And I took a slow, deep breath.

It was time to ask the question that had brought me here.

The attacks on the noble faction of the Emperor’s supporters.

The spread of modified aura to manipulate noble heirs.

“Since my arrival in the Empire…”

I shut my eyes tightly and spoke.

“Have all these events been preparations for a coup?”