Episode 4
A deafening crash echoed repeatedly, as if hammering nails directly into my mind.
Blood trickled down the corner of my eye, and the pungent smell of gunpowder clung to my nose, refusing to dissipate. Memories, starting with death itself, raced backward at full speed.
– ‘Since it’s getting dark, please leave early.’
A wintry day in Seoul, filled with the metallic smell of snow.
– ‘Member, please stretch your leg this way.’
My head throbbed.
– ‘Teacher wouldn’t scold you over such things.’
My head ached as if it were being crushed, sinking into my memories as if drowning.
Dead…
‘Dead… my corpse.’
Far too many memories flooded in like a tidal wave, overwhelming for a mere three-year-old to endure.
– ‘Try doing a squat.’
Whose voice is this?
– ‘For the burpee test…’
– ‘When your hip joint hurts, releasing it like this helps…’
What are all these memories?
Familiar yet unfamiliar voices echoed in my head.
It felt like lips were sprouting from everywhere, chattering solely about Mariela, with her alone in the center.
My head and ears were aching unbearably…
“Mariela!”
A child’s hand, slightly larger than Mariela’s but still small, grabbed her body as it swayed toward the stairs.
Mariela barely opened her eyes.
The pajamas blocking her view gave off a warm scent, and the embrace wrapping her small frame radiated childlike warmth.
“Dietrich.”
“Don’t… don’t look over there. The servants will handle it, so don’t worry too much…”
Although Dietrich was only seven, his trembling voice betrayed his fear, yet he was still trying his best to calm his younger sister.
In the midst of unfamiliar voices reverberating in her head, Mariela felt a singular warmth:
Someone who cared for her—Mariela.
Finally, she scratched her burning throat and managed to speak.
“My head… hurts so much…”
“What? Hey, Mariela! You…!”
The consciousness she barely held onto snapped in an instant.
***
I was bedridden for an entire week.
Fortunately, the butler didn’t meet the same abrupt death as I did in my previous life. Instead, he severely injured his leg, prompting his children to come and take him back to their hometown.
The departure happened so abruptly that I couldn’t properly see him off, but at least it put my mind somewhat at ease.
The servant who fell along with me down the stairs was taken away by the guards.
‘During that time, I regained my adult mind.’
I sat on the bed, obediently eating the soup fed to me by the maid.
Though my head still ached slightly, the initial shock of regaining past-life memories had significantly subsided.
I never thought reincarnation was something that could actually exist.
“How are you feeling now, miss?”
“I’m fine.”
This much is bearable.
However, the maid, after placing her hand on my forehead, still looked worried.
“There’s still a bit of fever left. Please have your meal first and take your medicine afterward. Once your fever subsides, I’ll help you rest.”
“It doesn’t hurt much anymore, so I think I’ll be fine without the medicine…”
“That won’t do. Until you can do that move you always do—what was it again, lunges?—you’ll need to keep taking your medicine. Open up.”
…I didn’t know those strange words and actions that occasionally came to mind were remnants of my past life.
At first, I found it odd and wondered why such bizarre thoughts and movements kept surfacing, but I never imagined they were memories of a previous existence.
Reincarnation. I could have never fathomed such a thing.
‘To be honest, it still feels… unfamiliar.’
Every time I look in the mirror, I see plump cheeks about to burst, cotton candy-like pink hair, and dazzlingly bright blue eyes that refuse to grow familiar.
Most significantly, the firm muscles I had worked so hard to build in my past life were all gone, replaced by a soft, jelly-like body!
‘Mariela Callenberg.’
I rolled my tongue around the unfamiliar pronunciation of my new name.
‘The shock of the accident must have triggered the return of my memories.’
A past life?
Reincarnation?
Never in my wildest dreams had I thought such a thing could happen to me.
Why? Because my life always felt like a dice game where I’d only roll ones and twos.
I lived a life that was neither lucky nor unlucky, perpetually mundane and tedious. And yet, here I was, reincarnated.
‘I never wished for a second life.’
Of course, I tried my best to live happily in my past life. I worked hard at a job I loved and was good at. I even made efforts to enjoy various hobbies.
But despite all that effort, the thought of having to solely rely on myself with no family to lean on often made life feel exhausting.
How did I end up being reincarnated like this?
If there was a next life, I wanted to be born as a rock or a tree and live a peaceful existence. But instead, here I am…
‘And in a three-year-old’s body, no less.’
What am I supposed to do in this unfamiliar world with such a soft, underdeveloped body?
My fine motor skills were so poor that even holding a fork properly was challenging. My circumstances felt both laughable and absurd.
“Strange. Why hasn’t your fever gone down?”
I was nibbling on bread, letting the crumbs soak up the bitter taste of the medicine, when the maid placed her hand on my forehead again.
Her name was probably… Betty?
Digging through my memories, I found her name and leaned my face into her cool, soothing hand, enjoying the comfort it brought.
“Even after taking medicine, your fever hasn’t subsided. Can you stay alone for a moment? I’ll go fetch the nanny, miss.”
“Okay, take your time.”
Now that I’d regained my adult mind, being left alone wasn’t a big deal.
I nodded calmly, sending Betty on her way.
***
Betty returned just as my consciousness was beginning to blur, teetering on the edge of sleep.
“Miss, I brought the nanny—oh my!”
Too tired to open my eyes, I felt someone’s hand touch my forehead.
The coolness of their touch indicated my fever was still quite high.
“Betty, go and bring a cold compress. We need to cool down the young miss’s forehead.”
“Alright, Nanny.”
As Betty left the room, the nanny began patting my chest rhythmically.
The nanny, Anna, was one of the few people who felt exceptionally familiar due to the blending of memories from my past and current lives.
The Mariela I remember was a child who grew up separated from her parents from birth.
Perhaps feeling like my fever worsened whenever I saw the nanny was just me acting spoiled in front of someone I felt comfortable with.
“Weren’t you asleep? Did I wake you up?”
Suddenly wanting to see the nanny’s face, I opened my eyes briefly, and there she was, looking down at me with wide eyes.
“No.”
“It’s fine to sleep a little longer. Resting a lot when you’re sick is good for you.”
Not wanting to fall asleep again, I quickly searched for another topic to divert the nanny’s attention.
Hmm.
“Nanny, where’s Dietrich?”
Talking about the other child in this house, also raised by the nanny after being separated from his parents, was the best way to change the subject.
Dietrich Callenberg.
My reincarnated body’s older brother.
A notorious troublemaker in this household who caused problems whenever you turned around.
But on the day the butler was injured, he protected me.
Normally, he would call me names and pick fights whenever we crossed paths, but that day, he acted quite like an older brother.
And he’s only seven years old.
Even though he was terrified and trembling all over, he did his best to keep me from looking too long at the bottom of the stairs.
Considering how young he is, Dietrich must have been quite shocked too. But because I was bedridden for an entire week, I couldn’t check on him properly.
“Is Dietrich hurt?”
“He seemed a bit shaken, but everyone’s been doing their best to take care of him, so he’s recovered quickly.”
Well, that’s a relief.
“The young master has been very worried about you too, miss.”
“Dietrich?”
“He even came to see you twice when you were unconscious…”
At that moment, the nanny’s words were interrupted by a faint yet distinct crashing sound, followed by people’s screams.
This house is never at peace!
If there was a loud noise outside, I had to go check it out, didn’t I?
Most likely, Dietrich had caused another accident. As one of the heads of this house, it was my responsibility to handle it.
Especially now that the butler was gone.
“Nanny, let’s go.”
“But miss, you recently experienced a major shock. Not to mention, your fever hasn’t gone down yet.”
“What if Dietrich gets hurt?”
The nanny, who was trying to dissuade me, couldn’t resist her worry at my words and quickly picked me up in her arms.
