For Your Failed Unrequited Love

“… What do you mean? I studied so hard. You were with me.”

Lucy replied, with her eyes narrowed suspiciously this time.

“No, you were definitely in last place last semester, right? But how did you get first place after studying for only a few weeks?”

She stared at him with eyes saying, “Explain it to me.” Felix, who was bewildered, answered with a sly smile on purpose.

“Well… Isn’t it because my teacher is great?”

Lucy bit her lip at the words. She almost let out a laugh while looking at Felix. However, she quickly returned to a blank expression and questioned him once more.

“You passed a blank paper last semester…… do you really not know the answers?”

Felix, whose heart was struck by the question, hurriedly glossed over.

“I, I don’t remember……. Anyhow, are you going to study for the test starting today? Then shall we go there? The classroom is on the third floor.”

Lucy still looked at him suspiciously but eventually nodded.

“Okay. You ranked first in just a few weeks of studying for the midterm, so I’m very curious about what kind of grades you’ll get again.”

“What? It’s all thanks to your help from the side.”

“Really? Then I’ll do my best next to you.”

Felix’s face was slightly darkened by Lucy’s words. This is because he remembered Lucy, who used to appear with a lot of books in her arms for him.

This time, she was even more fired up, so he was a little nervous about what and how much she would show up with. But at the same time, Lucy’s appearance was also cute.

From some point on, he finds it cute no matter what Lucy does. No matter how many books she brought and forced him to read, she seemed irresistible.

He was even willing to be dragged into the middle of the ballroom hall and dance Evelosa. 

Yeah, I’m willing to dance.

If it’s for Lucy.

*

Recently, Felix’s life seemed to be revolving around Lucy. It was funny to see himself being swayed by one person, but he couldn’t help it.

It would have been unimaginable for him before because he hated to have anyone interfering in his life. In particular, the girls who openly expressed their interest were really annoying.

But it’s different with Lucy. He thought she could interfere with his life as much as she wanted.

And for her, he was willing to give up everything.

The whole process of loving her was just fun.

Except for one thing.

For the first time in his life, he was put in a situation where he had to maximize his patience.

“Well, we can do it from here to here. This time, we started preparing for the exam early, so don’t make an unreasonable schedule like last time.”

“Yes.”

In an empty classroom on the third floor. Felix answered briefly, pulling the books that Lucy had pushed toward him. His eyes were fixed on the desk all the time.

“Cheer up!”

Lucy spoke cheerfully. But again, Felix nodded his head, pretending to open the book.

His anxious and troubled eyes shook uneasily, and from time to time his throat tossed up and down.

Lucy thought it was strange, so she stopped to ask.

“Are you sick?”

“… no.”

Felix raised his head and answered Lucy’s voice, which was full of worries. Soon, his eyes were drawn to her red, thick lips.

A burning look filled his eyes as he looked at her lips, and he once again lowered his head. So he flipped over the pages, and began rolling his eyes around randomly over the visible letters.

This was the problem.

Lucy’s lips bothered him whenever they were alone together. Each time, he would be shrouded with strange feelings and be put in a difficult place. 

He never kissed Lucy again after the kiss by the pond. He took it for granted. Isn’t it too shameless to keep kissing her while dragging her into a relationship that can’t be revealed proudly in the first place?

Moreover, in the carriage on their way back from the botanical garden, he spoke solemnly and seriously.

“Will you wait until I can say it confidently?”

He certainly asked her to wait.

It was he who couldn’t wait and kissed her. The thought of it made him feel embarrassed and awkward.

How do you see me?

Lucy never talked about the kiss. She didn’t say anything on the outside, but she might have been surprised on the inside.

So he tried to be patient as much as possible.

But his patience began to be constantly tested when he faced a situation where he was alone with her in a classroom where no one was looking.

Everything in the quiet silence made him overly conscious. Even the sound of his own swallowing made him worry.

He became disillusioned with himself, who kept his gaze on Lucy’s lips. He felt like a beast without restraint.

He once looked down upon his best friend Alec’s creating a sticky atmosphere with any girl.

Tsk tsk, he’s like a beast.

He even clicked his tongue inside when he saw that.

Now, however, he came to think that he was no different from such insidious people.

He glanced at Lucy’s lips, and he closed his eyes completely. Then he lowered his gaze to the book to get his mind together.

Just study, Felix Berg.

He scolded himself and tried to focus on the book. As he focused on the letters, his eyes seemed to pop out.

“Why do you keep staring?”

Felix looked up in amazement at Lucy’s sudden voice. A bewildered voice came out of his mouth.

“Yes? What?”

No way, I got caught staring at her lips.

Lucy frowned when he was visibly embarrassed.

“………why are you so surprised? You’ve been looking at the table of contents for a while.”

At her words, Felix looked down at what he was reading. The page, which was spread out in the table of contents of the herbal medicine textbook, listed a long list of 500 herbs covered in the book.

He hurriedly flipped the book and opened it roughly anywhere.

“Nothing.”

He equivocated. But he could feel the heat rising from his face vividly. Lucy’s expression got serious as if she saw it, too.

“Are you really sick?”

Suddenly, she reached for his forehead. Her lukewarm hands cooled his hot face. But Felix flinched at the tickling touch.

“You don’t have to force yourself if you’re sick.”

Lucy took the book from Felix’s hand, closed it, and began to organize it with the other books.

“You didn’t look well from a while ago; did you force yourself to sit here because of me?”

Lucy asked with a worried face. Felix shook his head with a blank face.

“I’m not sick. It’s just… I can’t concentrate.”

“Then I’ll go now for today. I have to go to the library anyway.”

Lucy collected the books and began to put them in her bag. Felix sighed quietly and followed Lucy as she packed her bag.

Yeah, I’d rather not create a situation where the two of us are alone.

He was ashamed of his behavior. He kept glancing at Lucy’s lips. He realized for the first time that he lacks self-control and is a sly person.

I should hurry back to the dorm and soak myself in cold water. Then I’ll come back to my senses. I won’t even think about kissing anymore.

He sprang up from his seat and walked to the door as if he had something urgent to do.

Like a fugitive, he tried to open the door and flee first. Lucy, who was following behind, grabbed him by the arm.

As Felix turned around, Lucy suddenly pulled his face and kissed him.

The soft and pleasant sensation that touched his lips made Felix feel that the handful of patience, which he had been holding tightly, was slipping out of his hand.

Lucy, who quickly moved her lips away, smiled shyly with a red face. Then she murmured in a low voice.

“There are people out there…”

Felix, who was holding the doorknob, immediately closed the door again. Without realizing it, he let go of the latch and the bag in his other hand fell to the floor with a thud.

Felix wrapped his hands around Lucy’s face and pulled her towards him.

A long kiss has begun.

Unlike his earlier pledge that he would not think impurely, Felix eagerly coveted Lucy’s lips.

It was the second time, but it was a clumsy and impatient act, as if it was the first time. As if he completely forgot the lesson he learned when they fell into the pond on their first kiss, he deeply kissed Lucy again.

It was only when Lucy finally gave out a rough breath and tapped him on the back that he could barely come to his senses. He let go of Lucy’s face in shock.

“Ah…”

Felix’s mouth was filled with a mixture of shame.

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