For Your Failed Unrequited Love

Atone?

Felix stared blankly at Adrian, who was buried in the evening dusk.

The manner in which Adrian appeared to have given up everything was more shocking than what he said about their mother or the fact that he pretended not to know their father collapsed.

He had the feeling that something was lodged in his stomach.

What do you mean to atone?

It was a word completely out of place with his brother.

“…instead of saying ‘I’ll win and come back’ you are saying ‘I want to atone for my sins’ and leave for the battlefield?” said Felix with a smirk. 

“You think I’ll let you go comfortably?”

“As I told you before, Even if you send someone who looks like me, they’ll soon find out. Do you think we’ll be the only ones in trouble then? Even our mother will be involved.”

Adrian’s face was firm.

In fact, there was nothing wrong with what he said. He didn’t want to let his brother go, so he bragged that he would find a replacement, but Felix also knew. No matter what method he uses, he can’t fool the world perfectly.

“There’s not much time left. Whatever you say, I’ll leave in two days.”

Two days later, Felix will be officially proclaimed duke. For the duchy could not keep up if the position was left unattended.

“There was a problem with father’s way of treating us but among the things he has said over and over again, it is true that you and I clearly have different paths to take.” said Adrian in a distinct voice. There was still a deep shade on his face, but his eyes were firm.

“You have work to do for our family, and I also have a duty to do. So please don’t stop me.”

It was definitely a stern talk. It was a tone that showed a firm determination. Still, Adrian looked precarious.

Soon Felix knew the reason.

Adrian maintained a calm demeanor, as if he didn’t care what would actually happen to him. When he looked at him, he had the uneasy feeling that he would not do his best for his life even during the war.

In actuality, to claim that Adrian’s confession was meaningless would be a lie. He never imagined that his brother would beg their mother to love him more than him.

However, even if he found out about it, his affection for his brother remained unchanged.

Adrian’s attempt to rid himself of guilt by going to war. It was far from what Felix had hoped for.

He will never allow Adrian to fight in the war.

Knock, knock.

At that time, someone knocked on the terrace door. It was a servant who showed up.

“Master,”

He entered the terrace and was about to speak with Felix when he noticed the twins were engaged in conversation. Instead, he lowered his voice and bowed his head subtly.

“Talk to him. I’m leaving.”

Adrian fled the terrace before Felix could apprehend him.

Felix couldn’t pursue Adrian because the servant’s expression was unusual, as if he needed to say something urgent. He turned to face his brother, then to the servant.

“What’s the problem?”

“The messenger from Brom rushed in with more news.”

“What news?” Felix inquired, his voice trembling. It hasn’t been long since he learned that Lucy’s family was safe, but what else can he say in such a hurry?

“Lucy Keenan’s father and grandmother are said to be missing from the battlefield.”

The moment he heard it, Felix felt his mind go blank as if he had been beaten hard. He looked at the servant with a puzzled look as if he had heard that his father had woken up again.

“…what do you mean? I’m sure he said that they are safe under Count Dern’s protection?” asked Felix in a vain voice. The messenger’s shocking news was delivered by a servant with a regretful expression.

“It is true that they were in the Count’s evacuation center, but it appears that Keenan’s father was a doctor and his grandmother knew how to treat, so they were transferred to a rear support group due to a lack of manpower…”

As the servant noticed Felix’s expression of shock, he stumbled over his final words.

“…so he wasn’t able to find them.” 

“The Count is so busy commanding the battle that he is not even trying to find the missing. So now we’re working on a separate search with the personnel sent by the Berg family….”

“Find them no matter what.” said Felix with blaring eyes. The servant bowed quickly at his unusual momentum and left the terrace.

Felix, who was left alone, swept his face roughly with his hands. Suddenly, it felt like hope and other things penetrated the floor and were buried underground.

He confidently promised Lucy that he would bring her family to the capital. He couldn’t take that hope away, which she had barely put in his hand, like this in vain. He had to find her family and bring them safely at all costs.

* * *

Late into the night, Felix did not return to his room and paced around the terrace. He doesn’t want to see Lucy grieving. He doesn’t want to see her in despair either.

But if he can’t find Lucy’s family…….

Felix closed his eyes in agony.

At the same time, Adrian’s involvement in the war made him suffer in agony for a long time.

He pondered over and over again about various methods. However, no matter what method he came up with, he reached only one conclusion.

Perhaps it was the conclusion he had in mind for a long time.

He was the only one who could solve this problem. Finding Lucy’s family and bringing them safely to the capital, and preventing Adrian from throwing himself into the middle of the battlefield, it was all up to him.

Felix finally made up his mind.

* * *

There was a knock in the dark corridor.

He was not told to come in, but Felix opened the door without hesitation. The owner of the room sat in bed, still awake.

When Felix appeared, Adrian looked at him quietly.

“…are you really sorry for me?”

Felix stood at the door and asked a low question.

“Then stay here. You will be the head of the household and lead the family.”

Adrian immediately frowned and asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ll go,”

Adrian raised his eyebrows at Felix’s incoherent remark.

“I’m going to the battlefield.”

There was silence in the room when Felix had finished speaking. After a while Adrian sighed deeply.

“Don’t say nonsense,”

“What doesn’t make sense? I’d rather go than you. You can’t even fight. Have you ever punched someone before?”

At Felix’s words, Adrian shook his head feeling hopeless.

“Felix,”

“I’m not saying this on impulse, either. The truth is… I may have been thinking about this decision since the draft was issued. I’m much better at swordsmanship and I’m stronger.”

“Felix, please,”

“So you stay here. You don’t fit in with the battlefield. It would be better for you to take care of the family. I’ve seen what you can do.”

Felix approached Adrian and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Adrian, you are not the only one guilty. I, too, lived without any material deficiencies. The prosperity of this family is a sin for all of us. Therefore, let’s end it here. Let’s work together to end the greed of this family.”

Felix’s fingertips, which held him by the shoulder, tightened.

“If you can’t come back from the war…… I don’t think I’ll have the confidence to do it on my own. That’s why you stay here. I’m sure I’ll come back alive.”

Adrian’s eyes were filled with indescribable emotions. This time he looked up at Felix with a shocked face.

Staring at his brother, Felix added another reason why he had to go to war.

“…Lucy’s father and grandmother were reported missing on the battlefield.”

Felix’s expression as he looked into Adrian’s eyes was determined. He spoke in a firm tone of voice.

“I must find Lucy’s family and bring them to the capital, no matter what. I promised Lucy.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll……!”

“Come on! You stay out of our way.”

Felix interrupted Adrian and forced him into bed. Then he tucked the futon over his head.

“Felix!”

Adrian struggled under the covers and called him. But Felix left the room before his brother could catch him.

As soon as he closed the door, he felt a movement.

The Duchess, with a complicated look on her face, stood. She seemed to have heard all the voices coming out of the room.

“Felix…”

She still called Felix and grabbed him by the arm.

A son who she once thought would have everything in this family, so she did not show him affection unlike his other son.

Now that she realizes that her son is willing to walk into the middle of the battlefield, what is she thinking?

Do you regret the past a little bit? Do you feel sorry for me?

However, he didn’t think it would be okay for her to apologize now. Because he still wasn’t alright.

“Take good care of Adrian.”

Felix pulled his arm out of his mother’s hand. The Duchess’ eyes trembled thinly. He left his mother at the door.

There was another unexpected variable in his future. But he didn’t regret it.

Despite having made a very foolish decision to walk into death’s door on behalf of his brother, he felt more relieved and at peace than ever before.