But Enoch survived.
Of course, many things happened.
Losing the magic he once held felt like a physical severance, a sense of loss that was almost unbearable. The unrelenting cold and the constant snowfall seemed as if they would take away at least one of his limbs.
However, what truly broke him were the countless deaths.
People died so easily. From the cold, from wounds that wouldn’t heal, from losing too much blood, and for various other reasons.
The barbarians constantly invaded the border, killing people with methods that Enoch had never seen or heard of.
Standing in the spot where a person had just died, trembling, his superior shouted that if he didn’t get his act together, that would be his fate too.
It was only later that he realized that his superior’s words were an attempt to keep him alive.
After surviving a year in those dark days, his superior gave him a pipe with a sleeping herb. The man, who had patted his shoulder, saying that it would help him survive, died the following month.
In a time devoid of light or warmth, it was ironically his dreams that illuminated the darkness.
Unlike the blizzards that often swept through Agante, the place in his dreams with the girl was always clear. Flowers bloomed, and sunlight streamed in.
In that place, the girl cried a lot, but mostly she smiled.
There was no time to ponder whether he loved her as the curse dictated or if it was simply a desire for comfort. Enoch quickly immersed himself in that dream. It was natural, as he had no other chance to see sunlight except in dreams. That was his excuse.
However, everything comes with a price.
His dreams were no exception.
In the year he turned sixteen, Enoch learned what the fever Letina had mentioned truly was.
It was not just a fever. He suffered for three days and nights, feeling as if he were tied to a pyre and burning.
His chest felt hot, and he could hardly breathe. After enduring fierce heat that made him think he might die, he looked in the mirror and saw a golden scar left on his chest.
He suffered through two more fevers that year, gaining just as many scars.
The scars from the fever had a different texture than those obtained in a typical manner. They were white, neat, and elongated, resembling a piece of pottery that had been poorly fired and cracked.
By the end of his eighteenth year, the fever finally stole his sense of taste.
After losing the ability to taste anything, Enoch wondered what would come next. Would he lose his sight? Would he lose his hearing?
Letina had clearly said that if he found the girl and made a vow with her, he could escape the fever. However, Enoch wasn’t sure if he could actually find her.
He couldn’t even escape Agante. It felt like the fever would overwhelm him before he could regain his freedom.
Besides, even if he does find her…
Would she really make a vow with him?
The girl became more beautiful as time passed, growing without any flaws. Her appearance was worlds apart from his, which was marred by increasing scars every day.
But would she choose him?
Some days he thought, what if he just confessed the truth and begged her? If he promised to do anything she asked, would she stay by his side?
Then?
Would she really be by his side?
Enoch knew the answer to that question.
No.
The girl would not choose him.
He could never be anyone’s choice.
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
In the spring of the following year, Letina died.
The cause was magic deficiency.
The emperor, who had taken her heart, did not appear at the funeral. Enoch heard the news from the north.
It was something he had been expecting, but he felt strange, so he sat on the city wall all day. The cold wind brushed against his cheeks.
Suddenly, he thought, maybe he should just die too.
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
In the year he turned twenty, a rebellion broke out.
Kinas pulled him out of Agante. Enoch followed his half-brother’s orders and descended to the southern part of the empire. There, Kinas had prepared soldiers.
He led them to march toward the capital, turning over the ground several times and burning down forests along the way.
“Leave as deep an impression as possible. That way, it’ll be easier.”
Kinas said this, and Enoch agreed.
If they were going to instill fear, it was better to do it thoroughly. That way, no one would even think of resisting.
So he unleashed numerous spells. Some called it a miracle, mainly those who stood with Kinas.
Finally, upon arriving at the imperial palace, Enoch met the emperor, who was about to be ousted.
The man had aged significantly in just a few years. Enoch stood before him, who had become much less impressive than before.
The emperor did not cry for the execution of the prince who had escaped his exile without permission.
Instead, he pulled his grown son close and whispered.
“Disgusting thing, let me give you a piece of advice. Everything gets passed down. So don’t get caught. Don’t reveal how abhorrent you are.”
Like your mother, don’t make foolish mistakes.
That’s probably what the Emperor wanted to say. But before he could finish, a blade appeared from behind and struck his neck.
“Didn’t I tell you not to concern yourself with useless things?”
Kinas, appearing behind the fallen old man’s head, said that. Enoch looked up at his brother with dazed eyes.
Kinas looked down at him disapprovingly and stepped down from the platform.
“You have blood on your face.”
As he said this, he rummaged through his pocket and pulled out a white handkerchief.
Enoch received the strangely white cloth amidst all the chaos and wiped his face. Dark, grimy stains came off.
“Should I return it?”
Kinas shook his head at his brother, who held the piece of cloth soaked in red.
“Forget it. Just throw it away.”
Saying this, he picked up the golden crown that had fallen beside the old man’s head, glimmering, stained with blood.
That day, Kinas became the new emperor.
After the rise of the new emperor, Enoch erased the surnames of the two families attached to his name and received a new one. The name “Letraki” was known to both of them, and they understood its origin.
However, Kinas pretended not to notice the traces of Letina left in his name, and Enoch did not feel the need to bring it up.
To the one who had received a new name, Kinas gave him the land of Herventel. It was a rich and warm place in the southern part of the empire.
“Spring and summer are quite long there.”
As he said that, Kinas gave him the title of Grand Duke of Herventel, which included three plains.
Enoch nodded at his brother, who looked at him with eyes that seemed to expect something. Yes, thank you. By that time, he had completely changed his way of speaking, having entirely forgotten the casual tone he used to have.
Kinas, now looking habitually annoyed at his younger brother, turned his head abruptly.
“Fine, do as you please.”
Enoch noticed that Kinas was angry but didn’t care. At that time, he didn’t care about anything.
That night, he cut his wrist for the first time.
Of course, he didn’t die. Although a lot of blood flowed, it wasn’t a significant problem. Testing himself was one of his habits, and Enoch knew his limits well.
But Kinas slapped his cheek.
“You, you dare…”
His only remaining brother was furious to the point that the blood vessels in his eyes nearly burst.
“How dare you do something like this? Why did I come this far, only for you to do this to me?”
There was a loud slapping sound, and Enoch’s head spun around once more. He rubbed his burning face with his fine hand.
Kinas couldn’t sit still and kept pacing around the room. Enoch watched him for a moment before closing his eyes. His head hurt.
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
After that incident, it seemed Kinas had temporarily postponed his plan to send Enoch to Herventel.
Instead, he confined him to the imperial palace. The place was the former residence of the late first princess, now known as the Crown Prince’s Palace.
Stuck there, Enoch read the books that Kinas brought him. Occasionally, he was taken out for outings.
The weather in the capital was so warm that he sometimes lost his sense of reality. Since the warm days of the past were merely dreams, it was somewhat understandable.
Reading the books again proved more difficult than he expected. His concentration had greatly diminished since he started burning herbs.
“Then why don’t you just quit?”
Kinas indirectly suggested this, and when Enoch still didn’t understand, he resorted to several stern measures, but Enoch did not quit the herbs.
It was around that time that he went to Rosenta.
“It’s the country that supported us with troops in the past.”
So, Kinas said it was only right to pay a visit in return, and he organized a delegation. Naturally, he included himself in that delegation.
Enoch wanted to ask whether it was appropriate for a newly crowned emperor to leave his position, but he kept his mouth shut. After all, Kinas had been nagging more than usual lately. He didn’t want to create unnecessary conflict.
It would just be a short trip.
He thought this as he squeezed himself into the carriage. Thinking about who he would meet there, his attitude was truly complacent.
