FYH Chapter 61

「January 8, 497

I keep having strange dreams.

They scare me.

But I won’t tell anyone.」

Lee-Jae was once again reading through Hailey’s diary.

For some time now, she had been harboring a certain doubt.

It was because of something the King had said offhandedly — a comment that lingered in her mind.

‘Was she worried someone might sneak a peek?’

Was that really it? Then why bother keeping a diary at all? Lee-Jae tilted her head, puzzled.

The Duke of Duncan seemed like the kind of man who could read his daughter’s diary without a shred of guilt.

But at the same time, he didn’t seem like someone who had that much free time on his hands either.

This time, Lee-Jae opened a different volume.

Hailey had barely written anything during the last month of her life.

This one was from that final stretch — one of the few entries remaining.

「March 14, 499

I want to be with Lawrence — in any form.

Even if it’s just as Queen and knight, that would be enough.

The future doesn’t change, no matter how hard I try, and it’s unbearable.

I don’t want to die.」

The final volume of Hailey’s diary was filled with anguished words — phrases like “It’s unbearable,” and “I don’t want to die” covered every page. Every time Lee-Jae read it, a deep sigh escaped her lips, weighed down by the heaviness in her chest.

Just then, Deborah entered and spoke to her.

“Your Majesty, His Majesty has finished his duties and returned to the bedchamber. He’s waiting for you.”

“Oh, alright.”

Lee-Jae instinctively checked the condition of her bracelet, then stepped out of the room.

The King was in his own bedchamber for the first time in several days. That morning, the Queen had told him that she wanted to sleep in his room tonight.

Roderick couldn’t quite understand her, but he generally let her do what she wanted. She wasn’t someone who asked for much. Despite having grown up in a house of power, she was surprisingly frugal. Yet it didn’t come across as miserly—instead, she always looked… pure.

It was the same when she carved wood, and now with how she cultivated herbs. Roderick had never realized herb gardening could be such a reverent hobby.

Just then, the sound of the attendants announcing her presence reached his ears, and Lee-Jae peeked her apricot-colored hair around the door. She gave him a little gesture with her eyes, and Roderick smiled.

“Hurry up and come in already. What, are you being shy around me now?”

Lee-Jae laughed softly and stepped into the room.

But at that moment, Roderick noticed something odd. As she entered, she glanced quickly across one wall of the room.

Why does she keep looking over there? There’s nothing there.

It struck him as strange. Even stranger, she walked over to the bookshelf and began inspecting the figurines, one by one.

She always did this whenever she came to this room.

“Are you saying hello to an old friend or something?”

“Yes. Thankfully, it’s still doing well. It’s a strong little thing.”

Roderick let out a disbelieving chuckle.

“Why are you laughing? It’s my life’s masterpiece.”

“I’ll sincerely pray for the day your artistic vision gets the recognition it deserves.”

Lee-Jae smirked and walked over to the bed. Roderick pulled her into his arms and had her sit down beside him, but she reached for something first: a broken wooden carving of Earthly General—Lee-Jae’s.

“Your Majesty, please throw this away.”

“…No.”

“This is exactly the kind of thing you call a hideous mess. If you won’t throw it out, I will.”

For once, Roderick applied some force. He grasped her wrist tightly, uncurled her fingers one by one, and easily took the figure back, returning it to the bedside table.

“The moment you gave it to me, it became mine. Why are you trying to get rid of my possession without my permission?”

“It’s useless now.”

“How is it useless?”

“It’s broken. I’ll carve you a better one.”

Her words weren’t exactly wrong, but something about them rubbed Roderick the wrong way. He gently ran his fingers through her thick, soft hair.

“You gave it to me first. …I’m not throwing it away.”

At that, he saw Lee-Jae clutching her skirt tightly, looking conflicted.

Ah, why does she always stir something in my heart like this?

Roderick kissed her on the cheek and said,

“Well then, let’s get to it.”

“…To what?”

He laughed, as if she were being ridiculous. Understanding his meaning, Lee-Jae leaned in and gave him a few soft pecks on the lips. Roderick, pleased but teasing, gave her a mock scolding.

“You know, you’re too old to be pulling off these childish little kisses.”

“Oh, and who was it that always treats me like a child?”

“I told you, I never did that.”

Lee-Jae eventually parted her lips and lowered her gaze. Her trembling eyelashes were beautiful. Her kisses always began so cautiously—there was a sense of clumsiness, but also honesty. And truthfully, Roderick preferred the kisses she initiated.

Whenever she kissed him like that, it was always him who lost control first.

Roderick lifted her up and sat her on his thigh. Lee-Jae flinched in surprise as she straddled him, but even then, she glanced nervously over her shoulder—because her back was now facing the place where the vengeful spirit always lingered.

Roderick truly found it strange.

There she goes, looking that way again. As if she’s wary. What is it about that spot?

“Focus on me, will you?”

He teased, giving her bottom a playful squeeze. Lee-Jae jumped and laughed.

“You really don’t hold back, do you?”

“It’s only hard to take the first step. Once you do, there’s no going back.”

“Wow, that’s scary.”

“Don’t be scared. If you don’t want to, I won’t push.”

She chuckled and nodded, saying it was okay. Then she placed her hands on his shoulders and kissed him again.

The lead she had taken with the kiss gradually slipped back into Roderick’s hands. Just kissing her lips and the inside of her mouth wasn’t enough. He began showering kisses all over her face.

When he licked her cheek, her lashes trembled from the tickle. When he gently bit her chin, she winced on one side.

Roderick buried his face in her neck and left a kiss mark. Giving up her slender neck, Lee-Jae let out a sound—“Haa…”—somewhere between pleasure and torment. Each delicate reaction made his nerves stand on end.

As he pressed on, her body slowly leaned back. Though he supported her firmly, she clung to his neck with both arms, uneasy about losing balance.

That small movement nearly drove him mad. Roderick kissed her harder, tongue devouring hers like a young beast claiming its prey.

Pressed tightly together, her chest was flush against his. Their lower bodies met, and she could feel his arousal through the contact. Yet, Lee-Jae wasn’t afraid of the beast she held in her arms.

Before she realized it, she was lying fully on the bed. Roderick hovered above her, arms caging her in.

“Haah… Hailey…”

“…”

“Hm?”

Unfiltered desire dripped from his blue eyes.

Even so, he waited—for her reply, even a small nod, gazing down at her patiently.

But when he saw the faint hesitation in her eyes, he brushed her forehead once gently… and suddenly headed toward the bathroom.

Only then did Lee-Jae realize she, too, had been gasping for air.

If only this weren’t the King’s chamber—if only it were somewhere safer. She, too, wanted to know what it was like to share love with another person.

She nuzzled her cheek into the bedsheets, trying to steady her breath.

But knowing why he had gone to the bathroom… her heart, racing like a broken machine, refused to calm down.

 

Roderick opened his eyes, holding the apricot-colored fox in his arms. She was sound asleep, resting her head on his arm. He stared at her for a long while, but Lee-Jae only breathed softly, steadily.

“…”

His wife, who used to always wake before him, had begun sleeping in lately. These days, she even took naps during the day. He often caught her awake in the middle of the night, and where her complexion had turned pale.

Roderick gazed at her with a worried look. He kissed her temple several times, then spoke in a quiet voice.

“Chamberlain, are you out there?”

The Chamberlain stepped into the room—and flinched. He had assumed both the King and Queen were awake, but the Queen was still sleeping soundly.

And what shocked him more was the way the King held her so protectively, so tenderly in his arms.

Roderick brought a finger to his lips, signaling him to keep quiet. The Chamberlain gave a deep bow.

“Summon the royal physician. Right away.”

The Chamberlain left silently, making sure not to disturb a single floorboard.

The physician, summoned early in the morning, had pretty much the same reaction. He had heard the rumors about their affectionate marriage—but hadn’t expected to find them in such an intimate pose. The King motioned him over without a word.

“Examine her.”

“Whom should I…?”

Roderick frowned slightly, and the physician winced in response. The King unwrapped the arm that had been holding her waist, but he kept his other arm beneath her head as a pillow, afraid she might wake.

The physician was clearly flustered. He had never conducted an exam in such conditions before—and the Queen’s neck was dotted with unmistakable marks from the previous night. It was awkward, to say the least, but the King’s gaze left him no room to hesitate.

So he carefully began examining Lee-Jae’s condition.

After a while, the physician stepped back. But Roderick frowned again.

“Check more thoroughly.”

Left with no choice, the physician resumed the examination. Still, Lee-Jae didn’t stir.

The Queen was usually a highly alert person—so why had she grown so frail lately?

My little fox… why are you wasting away like this?

Roderick gently stroked her forehead, heart aching.

“Her pulse is a little slow, but nothing seems seriously wrong.”

But Roderick shook his head.

“Her body’s cold.”

“…Pardon?”

“She feels cold.”

The physician hesitated, then replied with slight awkwardness.

“A minor drop in temperature in the morning is not uncommon, Your Majesty.”

“No. She’s much colder than usual.”

“…”

“You think I wouldn’t notice something like that? I’m her husband.”

Whenever she came into this room, she was always colder in the morning. That was the aftermath of spending the night fighting against a heavy, malignant energy.

But the physician, having found no alarming symptoms, could only repeat himself.

“I’ll be calling you like this in the mornings more often.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“And watch your mouth.”

“…I understand.”

“You can go.”

As the physician exited, Roderick gently wrapped his arms around her waist again and showered her face with kisses. The sight was so tender, the Chamberlain instinctively lowered his head and began to leave as well.

But Roderick called out again—

“Go bring Jade.”

Shortly after, the Knight Commander arrived—and flinched, just like everyone else. People had been blushing one after another all morning, but only the King remained completely composed. The Queen, nestled in his arms, slept peacefully, unaware of any of it.

“Jade. Do you think we could bribe the Duke’s private physician?”

“…Is Her Majesty seriously unwell?”

Roderick fell into silent thought.

“Hard to say. I don’t know.”

“…?”

“That’s why I need to make absolutely sure.”

“…I’ll see what I can do.”

“Make sure the Duke doesn’t hear a word of it.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“You may go.”

Once everyone had left, only the two of them remained in the bedroom.

Roderick, who’d been silently gazing down at his still-sleeping wife, pulled her even closer into his embrace. And yet, Lee-Jae didn’t wake easily.

Just when Roderick’s worry was growing deeper, she finally fluttered her eyes open.

Startled, her first instinct wasn’t to look at the one holding her, but at something else across the room. Roderick had been watching her intently.

She’s looking over there again.

With a breath that sounded almost like a sigh of relief, she then glanced at him.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes.”

“Liar.”

“…Pardon?”

“You’re lying.”

Her eyes widened slightly, but Roderick just gave her a soft smile. He kissed her cheek, then the bridge of her nose.

“I was just saying it. Don’t worry about it.”

“Looks like I overslept again…”

“Yeah. What’s going on with our little fox, hmm?”

“It happens. You’re making me feel called out…”

She mumbled, a bit flustered, but he asked gently,

“You’re going to rest in your own room now, right?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll take you.”

“No, it’s okay. I can go alone. You should get to work.”

But he ignored her completely, stood up, and offered his hand.

His gut feeling was becoming clearer. The Queen insisted on sleeping in this room from time to time. At first, she even said she wanted to sleep here alone—so he’d assumed she simply liked the place.

But that wasn’t it.

Whenever she came to this room, she was visibly tense. And by morning, she always seemed eager to return to her own room. Even when she was so unwell that she could barely move, she’d still ask to be taken back. That wasn’t how someone acts when they like being somewhere.

And truth be told, Roderick knew that feeling very well. The air in the room—it was different.

He felt like he was only a piece or two away from solving a puzzle. But the key piece was still eluding him.

While he was deep in thought, Lee-Jae spoke.

“Your Majesty.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“If I happen to sleep in late… you really don’t need to wait for me. You can go on with your day. Or wake me if you want.”

Her words were plain, calm, and sincere. But he let out a quiet, almost resigned laugh.

“Hailey.”

“Yes?”

“I must not be very reliable in your eyes. That kinda hurts, you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not going anywhere without you.”

Not when you look this pale and shaken. How could I leave you like this?

He gently ran his fingers through her hair, while she looked up at him with a puzzled expression.