FYH Chapter 53

Before stepping into the carriage, Roderick asked, “Where do you want to go?”

Lee-Jae hesitated, hugging the doll tightly.

You’re not weird. He had said that, but truthfully, Roderick couldn’t deny that his wife was a rather peculiar person. At times, she seemed desperate, but never pitiful.

It was probably because her desperation was never for herself.

Her prayers were always for others.

“Do you want to go to the river?”

“…Yes.”

“All right, let’s go.”

She felt a bit self-conscious. I must seem like such a stubborn person, huh? But Roderick, who had planned to take her there from the start, didn’t think that at all.

“Hailey.”

“Yes?”

“I might not always agree with everything you say, but I don’t want you to hold back your words.”

“…?”

“We came all the way out here. If you want to go somewhere, just say so. What’s so difficult about that? If you don’t agree with me, you can just say I’m wrong. I’m not the kind of person to turn my back on you just because of a difference in opinion.”

Lee-Jae lowered her gaze and shook her head.

“No, Your Majesty isn’t wrong.”

He was acting within reason, and the only reason they saw things differently was that they were looking at different landscapes. If she could only see the same world as everyone else, maybe she would have acted in ways he could understand better. Maybe then, she wouldn’t feel so alone.

Roderick smiled.

“Hailey, do you really think a person can always be right? Even a king makes mistakes.”

His words were true, and it pained Lee-Jae that she couldn’t deny them. Feeling conflicted, she decided to say something she had been meaning to tell him for a long time.

“Your Majesty, I don’t know if I should say this, but…”

“Go ahead.”

“They say, ‘Where there is a will, there is a way.’ The path you are pursuing is the right one. Don’t doubt yourself. If you have a goal, just go for it. Keep walking forward.”

She didn’t want to burden the king. He had already endured enough.

But in truth, he was someone who could push forward even more boldly. She wanted him to know that.

And Roderick understood—he could feel that she was trying to strengthen him. He chuckled.

“My queen, you really seem to like it when I act weak. I thought you’d be disappointed, but instead, you keep giving me these little hints. That’s dangerous. I might start acting cute all the time.”

“…?”

“But don’t most people prefer more manly men?”

“…That’s not it.”

“Then what?”

Lee-Jae hesitated. But when she glanced up at him, he was smiling.

Looking back down at her feet, she murmured,

“I just… like you, Your Majesty.”

The moment the words left her lips, her heart started pounding. Why did she say that? She instantly regretted it.

She fidgeted with the doll—no, she was practically tearing it apart. Before it could suffer any further, Roderick gently took her hands in his, his face glowing with delight.

“I know.”

“…?”

“I’ve always known.”

“…?”

“Let’s go quickly.”

Her expression was unsure, almost timid. Was it just his imagination? There was uncertainty and hesitation in her glancing eyes, yet the tips of her ears were flushed pink. Roderick found that incredibly endearing.

Feeling an odd sense of excitement, Roderick avoided looking at Lee-Jae after getting into the carriage.

Where on earth did that cuteness come from?

He kept rubbing his face with his hands, staring out the window. Meanwhile, Lee-Jae was already lost in different thoughts.

Would Hailey be there?

If her resentment was deep enough, then Lee-Jae was sure she wouldn’t have been able to move on.

If Hailey hadn’t left, then Lee-Jae wanted to help her find peace. And if she had, she wanted to call her spirit back, to ask her the countless questions that remained unanswered.

Hailey, I still don’t understand why you left like that. I tried to understand you. You were never a weak person, right?

But with the king by her side, there was nothing she could do. For now, she would have to settle for just checking.

“Your Majesty.”

“Mm?”

“Is my nickname really ‘pretty fool’?”

Roderick’s face twisted in an instant.

“…Which bastard said that to you?”

So, it’s true. Lee-Jae nodded.

Hailey must have known as well—she had written about it in her journal. But it seemed like Hailey had simply laughed it off.

“Well, at least they think I’m pretty. That’s something.”

“…Do you seriously never look in the mirror?”

Lee-Jae scrunched up her face and laughed.

“Your Majesty, the Kaien beauty standard and having a good face are two different things. There’s a gap between them. A chin as sharp as mine isn’t ideal.”

“What’s wrong with your face? You’re nothing but beautiful.”

Lee-Jae shook her head, as if he didn’t understand.

“I don’t mean that sharp features are bad, but… When you look at the overall balance, there’s something just a little off, you know? I hate to say this about myself, but it’s a bit of an unlucky face.”

All my fortune leaks out from here. It’s the face of someone who dies young. She waved her hands around her jawline.

The best kind of chin belonged to the king.

His fortune didn’t escape anywhere—it was solid. To put it simply, that was the face of someone destined to rule.

The throne was always too vast for one person, making even great individuals seem lacking. But in his case, no title or position could ever overshadow him. If he could just get past this strange hurdle, there would be no one who could rival his reign in his later years. In truth, Roderick had the greatest fortune she had ever seen in her life as a shaman.

Lee-Jae felt a frustrating sense of helplessness as she studied Roderick’s face closely. And then, she was suddenly caught off guard.

Wait, what? Why does he look even better now?

Scratching her cheek and glancing around, she looked back at him—more carefully this time.

No, seriously? He looks way too good!

Lee-Jae kept tilting her head in confusion. As she leaned in closer than ever before, Roderick looked a little flustered.

“Hailey. What’s with you all of a sudden?”

“Your Majesty, now that I really look at you, you’re ridiculously handsome.”

“Huh? Well… thanks, I guess?”

“I need to correct myself. I guess my type is handsome men.”

Wow, he’s practically radiating good fortune. This is definitely the face of someone destined for greatness.

A person’s physiognomy can change—it’s why people are told to live well. But how could his face improve this much in such a short time?

“This is so strange. It’s amazing. You’re too good-looking.”

As Lee-Jae kept marveling, Roderick let out a bewildered laugh.

“So, you do actually look at my face?”

“How could I not? I’m human too.”

“Then how can you be so cold to me?”

“Wow. That was a little obnoxious just now. So Your Majesty knows you’re handsome? Typical human behavior…”

Roderick burst into laughter.

“Wouldn’t it be fake if I pretended not to know? I do look in the mirror. But honestly, I was a little worried because none of this seemed to work on you.”

Lee-Jae chuckled.

“I was never cold to you. I’ve always been this way.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re… not a cold person at all.”

“…”

Roderick kept trying to break down her walls. Lee-Jae averted her gaze, but he adored her too much. Once again, he pulled her into an embrace before she could slip away.

“Thank you for telling me you like me. I thought I’d never hear it before I died. Honestly, my heart still feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest.”

“…Why did I even say that? Can’t you just pretend you didn’t hear it?”

“No way. Not a chance.”

“…But why did you think you’d never hear it?”

“You’re not the type to say what’s inside. You keep putting up with it and hiding something.”

“I’m the kind of person who suppresses everything until I suddenly just—aaah!—explode and run away.”

Roderick laughed.

“Yeah, I figured. But why do you hold it in for that long?”

Lee-Jae gave a faint smile. The reason was simple. She didn’t want to burden others with her pain.

Your Majesty, the truth is… I’m trapped in my own world. I see more than others, but a world that can’t be shared is ultimately a closed one. That doesn’t make it vast—it makes it small.

In reality, I’m the only one here. And I’m terribly lonely and afraid. Every day, my body trembles with fear.

But this is my battlefield. You may never understand, but if I endure this, I can help someone. There will be people who find peace today because of it.

And if that’s the case, then this is my duty. The path before me and the path I must take are one and the same.

My sorrows must always remain in the shadows.

With a bitter expression, Lee-Jae stared at the tips of her shoes, lost in thought.

But after a moment, she nodded and spoke clearly once more.

“Your Majesty, the truth is… I like you quite a lot.”

“…Yeah. Me too.”

She turned her gaze to the window, while Roderick felt a little sheepish.

But soon, he sneaked in another question.

“Hailey, do you really like me?”

“…“

“When did it start?”

“…“

“Tell me.”

“Just stop. I’m done.”

“Ah, you’ve gone cold on me again. It’s hard keeping up with the temperature changes.”

“…“

“Come on, just tell me. Or wait—does this cost money or something?”

Lee-Jae, who had been so tense, finally broke into laughter. Roderick was still waiting for an answer, but she had already noticed that the carriage had come to a stop.

“It’s not that. I have money too. But Your Majesty keeps allocating unnecessary budgets, so the nobles keep coming to me. I have no interest in politics, so stop feeding them like that. You probably think I just sit around doing nothing, but I’m actually quite busy in my own way.”

“…”

“Anyway, I think we have to get out now.”

Roderick, feeling utterly exasperated, grabbed her arm. Hailey, you can’t just leave like this.

“Just say it already.”

“…“

“Fine. But I like you a lot.”

“…I do too. You’ve known that all along, so why do you keep asking?”

“You even knew that I knew?”

“How could I not?”

Growing flustered, Lee-Jae pushed open the carriage door. Then, hastily jumping out, she mumbled under her breath,

“If you didn’t want me to notice, you shouldn’t have been so nice to me. Seriously, what a strange man.”

Left alone in the carriage, Roderick kept running his hand through his hair.

There were expressions the queen simply couldn’t hide, no matter how hard she tried. Just as one couldn’t disguise warmth when touched, she couldn’t conceal everything from him.

What was he supposed to do with this small, precious thing?

For a long while, he remained seated, unable to step out.