Chapter 7
The fresh, sparkling sunlight gently touched Estelle’s eyes, making her frown slightly. She wanted to enjoy the peaceful morning a little longer.
“…It seems morning has already come.”
She felt like she shouldn’t waste the precious routine that had returned after so long by sleeping in.
Nothing lasts forever. The days when she couldn’t move forward and was stuck in place came to her mind.
Melody, who now had a new life, was enjoying her happiness, and Lucas, who had become the heir of the Madel family, had gained honor.
While everyone else was basking in the blooming spring, Estelle remained stuck in the lonely winter.
It was such a wasted time. Time, which disregarded the will to live and flowed aimlessly as part of nature’s law.
Through the deep pain, she had learned valuable lessons and realized what she needed to do next.
‘I don’t have time to waste. I need to do something.’
With a struggle, Estelle rose from her bed and headed to the bathroom.
‘…Rose scent?’
Was it Anna who had prepared this in advance? The bathtub was filled with a gentle fragrance. She dipped her foot into the warm, undulating water, the gentle heat wrapping around her skin. As she sank deeper into the bath, the soft sound of the water brought her peace.
‘It’s always been either too hot or too cold.’
The temperature perfectly matched her preferences, a reflection of Anna’s personality.
‘Anna, that girl. She knows exactly whose hand is best to hold…!’
Suddenly, a suffocating feeling overcame her, and Estelle slapped her chest forcefully.
‘So, I wish my sister would just die. Wouldn’t it be something she could do for me?’
Alive, yet whispering sweetly with a face that wished her death, Melody was still a future that hadn’t come to pass.
Recognizing her breathing in the present moment, Estelle suppressed the overwhelming turmoil.
“…Your words still hurt, Melody.”
The pain in her gut that she could never forget stemmed from one word Melody had said. The cruel soliloquy she would never forget, even after death.
‘If I were gone, you said I’d become perfect.’
Estelle knew better than anyone how painful it was to have something you wanted to protect taken away from you.
‘The Empress is locked up. After the trial, she’ll be executed. I’ll make sure to execute her so you can see.’
She recalled the image of Melody waiting for death in a prison cell, as she repeated Michael’s comforting words.
“How did you feel, knowing you were going to die soon?”
Estelle regretted not being able to witness the desperate fall of Melody.
‘I have to see it this time. The moment pain seeps into your life.’
To return everything, she began to prepare carefully for what would happen during the coming-of-age ceremony.
‘At the coming-of-age ceremony, it was definitely the dress Melody picked for me that made the Duke slap my cheek.’
Estelle stepped out of the bathtub and wrapped herself in a gown.
‘Who’s there?’
As she stepped outside, the door handle rattled harshly.
Bang!
The loud sound pierced her eardrums sharply.
“Hey! Open the door!”
With a powerful kick, Lucas broke down the door and entered.
Upon seeing Estelle, he raised his voice, his shoulders heaving.
“You should have answered if you were inside! Do you know how worried I was, thinking something happened to you?”
Sweat beaded on his platinum blonde hair, and he was panting heavily, looking worn out. There was also a hint of relief mixed in his exhaustion.
“What is this all about?”
She was annoyed. His tone made it sound as if he had been worried about her.
“So, if you had answered earlier, none of this would have happened!”
Once again, Lucas was blaming Estelle for his own actions.
It was an old habit of his to avoid scolding from the Duke by deflecting the blame onto her.
“Leave immediately. I’m wearing a gown, so it’s fine, but what would have happened if I wasn’t? There’s a limit to rudeness.”
Normally, she would have apologized right away for not answering, but this time, her frustration grew.
At Estelle’s rebuke, Lucas finally noticed her attire and hastily averted his gaze.
“I-I was just, uh, running into your personal maid in the hallway… and I thought…”
His words were all over the place, but the only thing Estelle understood was that he had encountered Anna.
With a sigh, Estelle shook her head, and Lucas bit his lip, frustrated.
“…Hey. What’s gotten into you all of a sudden? No, you’re right. I was wrong. I thought about it last night, and you were right, I was the one who didn’t like you first. From now on, I won’t mind if you call me ‘Brother.’ So, uh—”
The way he tried to sweeten it up felt repulsive.
‘Now you want to act like we’re a close brother and sister?’
If I had known nothing, I might have been able to forgive him. If that scene hadn’t been etched in my memory, I might have taken his hand, trying to mend our relationship.
The expression on his face as he apologized added to the bored one I had seen while waiting for the funeral to end.
“What was so terrible?”
I wondered if Lucas even remembered all the wrongs he had done.
“Do you remember when you pushed me and I injured my leg when I was eight?”
As I dug up that long-hidden childhood accident, Lucas tilted his head, looking at me with a face as if he had never heard of it.
“Seems like you forgot.”
“That was a mistake!”
How ridiculous.
“Mistake” was such a convenient word. Even though he had caused my right foot so much pain on a rainy day when I, a little child, had been hungry, he could easily dismiss it as a mistake.
The audacity to shout “It was a mistake” so confidently made me sneer.
Lucas’ torment didn’t stop there.
He had hated me for so long, so deeply.
“Was it a mistake when you brought a spider to my bed after I entered mother’s room? That spider could have killed me if I hadn’t avoided it.”
I let out all the pent-up resentment that had built up since the night I developed a trauma from seeing spiders, my body stiffening at the mere sight of one.
“…Do you remember the day I first came here? When you told me I shouldn’t have been born?”
“…”
“I remember. I lived with the thought that mother should have been the one to live, not me. I always kept quiet, trying not to be hated by you.”
Ah, it was horrifying. The memory, already embedded in my mind, couldn’t be erased.
“I thought if I stayed quiet, you would eventually like me. After all, I’m your sister.”
The words Lucas said, becoming clearer with time, taught me what the word “sin” truly meant.
“I was just a kid back then… so immature…”
Lucas, who had remained silent the entire time, now offered an excuse.
‘You should know that these memories won’t just disappear. You, who hated me the most, can never forget them.’
This, too, was an excuse. A mere attempt to deny his wrongdoings by claiming it was all due to his youth.
“Then you should understand better.”
“…Estelle.”
“When you said that to me, I was even younger than you.”
The resentment that had built up since I was very young couldn’t be washed away by a half-hearted apology.
‘After all, you wouldn’t have been sad even if I died.’
I had denied it all until now. Even knowing you hated me, I reached out with false hope.
But once I accepted everything and gave up, I found peace.
“Lucas. I also…”
“…I really hate you.”
It was relieving to finally say the words I had been holding back for so long, yet somehow, I didn’t feel good at all.
“Ah, Miss? Young Master?”
At that moment, the butler appeared cautiously, his gaze flicking between Lucas and the broken door, full of confusion.
Lucas, with his shoulders slumped, walked out with heavy steps.
“Butler, please fix the door quickly.”
“Understood, Miss. Um, the Duke is waiting in the dining room.”
“…The dining room?”
He was waiting in the dining room instead of calling me to his office? I couldn’t believe it, and I let out a hollow laugh.
‘If this were in the past, I would have gone right away, knowing it would make me feel uncomfortable, but so happy.’
It was too late. I was already exhausted from waiting for him, and now I didn’t have the energy to deal with what would surely make me sick.
‘Father. Even if you suddenly offer a carrot after always using a whip, a beast knows better than to trust it.’
No matter how foolish the beast might be, it would soon realize there’s poison in the carrot.
If I went to the dining room now, he’d probably want to continue the engagement talks with Leonov. I could see right through his intentions.
“Please tell the Duke I’ll not be attending.”
“…Yes, Miss. As you command.”
Estelle’s lips curled into a smile. The butler swallowed nervously and nodded.
“Please don’t wait for me. Have your meal as usual.”
The butler stared at her in disbelief.
‘Do I still look like a little girl desperately hoping for my father’s attention?’
He seemed genuinely surprised, unable to look away, but I had no intention of tolerating it.
“You want me to be dragged over if I refuse?”
“C-Couldn’t be… Please forgive my rudeness.”
After receiving a polite rebuke, the butler lowered his eyes and bowed deeply.
“If that’s the case, you may leave. If my attire seems too light for you.”
“My deepest apologies, Miss.”
As the butler’s footsteps faded away, Estelle collapsed weakly to the floor.
‘…I just want to get away. It’s suffocating.’
The thought of exiling myself to a foreign country and hiding there crossed my mind. Every person I encounter brings painful memories.
“Estelle, good morning!”
But as soon as I heard Melody’s sweet voice, my desire to escape was completely washed away.
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