Chapter 61 – Gray Eyes
Listening to his unabashedly poured-out emotions made her feel awkward. She couldn’t believe it, and rather than feeling joy, it weighed heavily on her.
‘Maybe I don’t really like the whole “love at first sight” thing… Why am I like this? I should be happy…’
Why was that? Hearing the reasons someone came to like her should be heart-fluttering, but instead, it made her uncomfortable.
The answer was simple.
Their relationship had started with no real interaction. He had asked for the first dance out of mere curiosity.
On top of that, the events from the entrance ceremony and everything that came after—none of it felt real to her. It all felt like someone else’s emotions.
Once he realized she wasn’t as dazzling as she seemed on the surface, wouldn’t he be disappointed?
‘He might regret liking me once he finds out what I’m really like.’
It was true that Michael had loved Estelle. He said he still did. His love hadn’t faded yet.
But it was also true that there had been a time when it faltered.
Wasn’t that why things escalated into tragedy, to the point they lost their child and couldn’t resolve the conflict?
His love wasn’t steady. It might seem quiet and enduring now, but it would surely crumble when least expected.
Would his feelings stay the same even when she showed her worst side? When his love had already withered once?
‘…No. There’s no way. I hope he never finds out what kind of person I really am.’
She didn’t want to be hated. Especially not by Michael.
She knew she shouldn’t judge things in advance. Michael had even asked her not to.
But she knew better than anyone how hard it was. That’s why she wished he wouldn’t love her.
When love ended, even making eye contact would be difficult. If that was the case, she preferred things to stay as they were.
‘Don’t love me.’
‘If he ends up loving me too, then there really will be no turning back.’
Michael was still watching Estelle’s eyes.
He had that look—the one that said he wanted to know what kind of answer would come from her lips.
It was hard to keep meeting that gaze. Estelle quickly dropped her eyes.
“…We were kids. Saying you ‘fell for me’ is a bit much. I mean… We were so young. What would we even know?”
If she wanted his feelings to fade slowly, maybe it was better to make him feel embarrassed—to push him away.
But even if they were young, it wasn’t right to dismiss or judge his emotions. Maybe she should have said it more gently.
She had said it deliberately, but now she feared she had hurt him. Estelle cautiously raised her head and glanced at Michael with narrowed eyes.
“If you’re going to lie, at least do it more convincingly.”
He had already seen through her intentions. He wasn’t fooled. How?
Should she come up with a more believable lie?
“…It’s not a lie. I—I was only eight when I made my debut. Your Highness couldn’t have been much older, right? People say kids often mistake things at that age. You even said yourself you didn’t realize it at first. So, it couldn’t have been love.”
Michael, after a short pause, gently rubbed the bridge of Estelle’s nose.
“Estelle, you always wrinkle your nose when you lie.”
“…That’s…”
“Next time, try hiding it better, okay?”
He didn’t pry into her reasons for lying. He simply offered a kind bit of advice—if she was going to lie, she should at least make it believable.
‘So I wrinkle my nose when I lie…’
It struck her oddly to discover a habit she hadn’t even noticed—one that Michael had picked up on.
Estelle, who had memorized the habits of the Duke of Winchester and Leonov when they got angry, knew this:
Noticing someone’s habits was proof they had paid very close attention for a long time.
“…Ha.”
Suddenly, Michael frowned and looked toward the window, letting out a sigh of irritation.
‘Did what I said upset him? What do I do…’
Estelle, feeling anxious, watched as Michael walked over to the window.
The door flew open roughly.
A boy, his face concealed by a mask, grabbed the railing and stepped onto the balcony.
‘An assassin…?’
Thinking he might be an assassin, Estelle tensed and quickly moved close to Michael in fear.
“Your Highness.”
But the boy was far too polite for someone who had come to kill.
‘He looks about thirteen? Maybe fourteen…’
Even though his face was hidden by the mask, she could tell he was young.
“What’s going on?”
Michael didn’t seem particularly alarmed and treated the boy with familiarity.
The boy bowed politely to both Michael and Estelle in turn.
‘Is he one of Michael’s subordinates…?’
Caught off guard by the boy’s greeting, Estelle was busy trying to grasp the situation.
“Estelle. You don’t need to be afraid.”
“Who… is he?”
“Officially, he’s a trainee knight of the Imperial Third Order.”
So he had another identity beyond that title.
Michael reassured Estelle with a warm voice. Just for a moment, the boy looked slightly surprised and furrowed his brows. His emotions were plainly visible on his face.
When his eyes met Estelle’s, the boy quickly hardened his expression.
“What’s your name?”
“…Rael. I don’t have a surname.”
He didn’t seem happy to be questioned.
‘Was it wrong to ask his name?’ Thinking it best not to push further, Estelle gave an awkward smile.
“By the way, why’d you come through the window when there’s a door?”
“I apologize, Your Highness. I had urgent news to report and couldn’t afford formalities. Please forgive me.”
At Michael’s firm question, the boy bowed his head in apology.
He didn’t offer any other excuse and was clearly doing his best not to provoke Michael.
The anxiety Rael carried made the atmosphere feel tense and uncomfortable.
Since he had urgent news to report, it might be something that required a private audience. In times like these, it was proper to excuse oneself.
“Michael. If it’s urgent, should I step out for a moment?”
“Hm. No, it’s fine. It’s about Melody Winchester.”
‘What?’
The report was about Melody?
“…You had someone watching Melody? Since when?”
Estelle hadn’t known at all. She had never once seen this boy when she was with Melody.
She hadn’t even sensed his presence. So when had he been assigned to her?
More importantly—why?
“Because I was worried about you. It hasn’t been long.”
His intention was certainly appreciated. He had assigned someone to watch Melody out of concern that she might do harm.
“It would’ve been nice if you’d told me. But… thank you for worrying about me.”
Still, she would have preferred to know in advance. That way, she wouldn’t be caught off guard later, and there’d be no room for misunderstandings.
“Mm, you’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I’ll get your permission next time.”
She hadn’t expected something as formal as permission—just a heads-up would’ve sufficed.
“You didn’t assign anyone to watch me, did you?”
“I wanted to.”
Michael smiled, stroking his chin.
“…Your Highness.”
‘No way… right?’
“I didn’t. I knew you’d hate it. I swear.”
It was baffling that he wanted to, but since he didn’t in the end, there wasn’t much to scold him for.
While Michael and Estelle were talking, Rael’s expression began to shift noticeably.
‘What’s with him? Was I being too presumptuous?’
Embarrassed, Estelle looked away.
“Rael. What’s your report?”
“…Ah, the young lady went out this morning. I followed her, and it appeared she was meeting a middle-aged woman in the slums.”
Estelle had meant to look into Melody’s outing but had forgotten in the whirlwind of events.
‘The slums… Was she meeting someone she used to know? Everyone knows she’s from there—so why keep it a secret?’
She was glad her curiosity was being resolved so easily, and she focused on the rest of the report.
“She received a pink potion from the woman and handed her some gold coins. They had a fairly lengthy conversation.”
“What did they talk about?”
At Michael’s brief question, Rael looked troubled.
“I didn’t hear everything clearly… but she called the woman ‘mother.’”
‘Mother.’
Estelle was thrown into confusion as Rael revealed the true purpose of Melody’s outing.
“Are they really mother and daughter? Or was it just a term of endearment from familiarity?”
Michael’s doubt was reasonable. The term mother didn’t necessarily imply a biological connection.
Melody had claimed she didn’t even remember her parents’ faces and had said she used to sell flowers alone.
“They resemble each other. Same light brown hair. There was also a portrait of the young lady as a child in the woman’s home.”
Rael calmly described the woman’s appearance and what he had seen in the house.
