FWTR Chapter 40

Chapter 40: Remnants of Loss

The funeral had completely ended. As time passed, the somber atmosphere that had settled over the Madel estate gradually began to recover.

“Are you really planning to return alone? You should wait a little and leave with me.”

Lucas, the new master of Madel, found it difficult to leave the South.

Moreover, Estelle had to act as the proxy head of the Luenbien family, which meant she had many responsibilities to handle. It was said that she had even submitted her resignation to the academy.
With her coming-of-age ceremony fast approaching and the masquerade ball at the Aslan Marquisate to attend, she had no time to wait for him.

“It’s fine. I should leave soon.”

“Oh, right. Make sure to feed Riri. I told the butler, but that little one won’t eat properly without me around.”

“Alright.”

There would be a lot to do once she returned. Come to think of it, she also needed to have an overdue conversation with Michael regarding their engagement.

“…I’ll definitely come to your coming-of-age ceremony. Wait for me.”

“You don’t have to if you’re too busy.”

“Are you kidding? It only happens once in a lifetime. It’s even more important than a debutante ball! It’s a celebration of your twentieth birthday…”

Estelle had only meant to be considerate, but Lucas became unexpectedly agitated. She hadn’t anticipated such a reaction, leaving her momentarily taken aback.

‘He never even properly celebrated my birthday before.’

Though she had forgiven him, it didn’t mean the lingering resentment had instantly vanished. Some bitterness still lingered beneath the surface.
Even so, she didn’t want to resent him when it came to birthdays. That day was also the day he had lost his mother.

“Anyway, I’ll be there, so wait for me. And be careful on your way back, don’t get distracted and miss your train, send me a letter when you arrive, and also…”

“Lucas. I already knew, but you really do talk a lot.”

His relentless nagging since morning had grown noisy, so Estelle teased him lightheartedly. Lucas frowned in response.

“You said you’d call me ‘brother,’ didn’t you? You’re younger than me, but you keep acting like we’re equals.”

She had never noticed before, but Lucas was surprisingly petty.

“We’re only two years apart, though.”

She hadn’t done it on purpose—it was simply a habit from calling his name so often. But now he was openly nitpicking.

“Alright, brother. Try not to work too hard while I’m gone.”

“For someone who isn’t even worried about me, my dear little sister sure has a great personality.”

The two glared at each other, while the servants around them smiled warmly.

“…Estelle. I may be acting as Luenbien’s proxy head, but your grandfather left it to you. I won’t try to take it, so if you want it, just say the word.”

“…”

“It’d be nice if you took Madel as well. I’d rather spend my life wielding a sword. If I dump all the troublesome work on you, I can have a comfortable retirement, right?”

The emotional moment barely lasted a few seconds before it was shattered. Estelle didn’t bother responding and simply turned away.

“Young Lady! Please wait a moment!”

She paused upon hearing the urgent voice of the head maid calling her.

In the maid’s hands was a framed painting—Estelle’s unfinished portrait, which Count Madel had been working on before he passed away.
The background was left unpainted, stark and empty, making the piece feel incomplete and sorrowful.

‘If only he had held on a little longer.’

Even now, she couldn’t quite grasp why Count Madel’s life, which had lasted through winter, had been cut short so soon.

She recalled the moment he took his last breath, the moment he dropped his brush. A lump formed in her throat once more.

“Estelle, are you alright?”

Noticing her reaction, Lucas patted her shoulder before addressing the maid.

“Find a painter who can match Grandfather’s style. Have them complete the portrait.”

“That won’t be necessary. Head maid, please keep it safe. I’ll take it later.”

Even if another artist finished it, the final traces of Count Madel’s hand would be erased. She didn’t want a stranger’s touch to alter it.
She was content with it as it was, despite the pain it would bring whenever she looked at it.

It was a portrait filled with love. The expression in her eyes was particularly detailed—her blue gaze captured as if seen through his own.

It was the gaze of a man who had longed to love her more.

“Understood. Don’t worry, I will take good care of it.”

Tears welled in the maid’s eyes as she nodded, seemingly understanding Estelle’s thoughts.

“Oh, and this… The Count asked me to give this to you.”

With a gesture from the maid, the waiting servants stepped forward.

Estelle naturally turned her attention to them.

In their hands were a velvet jewelry box and a bundle of letters tied with string. They presented them to Estelle.

“The letters are ones the Count wrote to you over the years… And the other is a gift for your coming-of-age ceremony.”

Estelle carefully opened the velvet jewelry box.

“Head maid, this is….”

Inside was a tiara adorned with a noble blue diamond.

“Yes, this is the tiara that Princess Ariette brought with her when she married into the Madel family. Officially, it belongs to Luenbien, so you are entitled to wear it as well, My Lady.”

Tiaras were originally reserved only for royalty. However, as the head maid had said, since it now belonged to Luenbien, Estelle had the right to wear it as the heir of the family.

“In addition to this, the Count had prepared gifts for you every year. Since they are quite large, we have sent them separately to Winchester Duchy through a messenger.”

…What must it have felt like to collect birthday gifts he couldn’t give, to write letters he would never send?

“Estelle, should I take you to the train station?”

“It’s alright. I should go now. Thank you for delivering these, head maid.”

Declining Lucas’s offer, Estelle left Madel Manor alone.

Even breathing felt difficult—it was a moment when she wanted to be swallowed by her grief.

—

Holding herself together, Estelle arrived at the station in time.

Seated on the train, she placed the velvet jewelry box beside her and began reading the letters one by one.

The first one she picked up was from when she was eight years old—about a month after she had left Madel Manor.

—

To my beloved Estelle,

How have you been? Are you sleeping well at night? I worry that you might be having nightmares. It has already been a month since you left. Time passes so slowly; every day feels unbearably long.

I miss hearing your laughter. I can still vividly remember the first time you threw a tantrum.

Have you become friends with Lucas?
He may be mischievous, but I’m sure he just wants to get close to you, so please be patient with him.

I don’t think I will ever send this letter. Your place is there, not here. I don’t want to shake your resolve when you should be adjusting.

Still, I always wish for your happiness. Never forget that you have a grandfather who loves you dearly.

I love you.

—Your grandfather, who always misses you.

—

Tears fell onto the letter, and Estelle hurriedly wiped them away before they could smudge the ink.

Biting her lip, she pulled out another letter.

This time, it was short. The date written on it was her birthday.

—

To my beloved Estelle,

Happy birthday. Today, more than ever, I miss you and your mother dearly.

Thank you for being born, my dear child.

I love you.

—Your grandfather.

—

There was no trace of resentment—only longing and gratitude.

—

To my beloved Estelle,

I heard you were admitted to the academy. I was curious about which department you would choose, and as expected, you joined the Political and Diplomatic Studies department alongside Alicia.

I also heard you topped in the entrance exams. Every bit of knowledge you gain will serve as the foundation for the path you walk in the future.

Alicia always hated studying and barely passed her classes, but thanks to you, this old grandfather finally feels proud.

Still, your health is the most important thing. Don’t overwork yourself for the sake of grades.

No matter the outcome, as long as you do your best, that is enough.

Estelle, I wonder how much you’ve grown.

In the past, I refrained from seeing you because I didn’t want to unsettle you, but now, I lack the courage to ask you to meet me.

As long as you are living well and in good health, I have nothing more to wish for. That is what I will pray to the gods for.

This will be our secret from Lucas, but you have always been my most precious little one.

I love you.

—Your grandfather.

—

The first and last sentences were always the same.

Every letter began with “To my beloved Estelle,” and every single one ended with “I love you.”

He had loved her. He had wished to love her even more.

But he had already given her more love than she could have ever asked for.

“Grandfather. I really loved you, too… I still do.”

It was a farewell to the one person who had loved her more than anyone else.

The waves of loss swept over her like a storm, leaving only remnants behind.

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