Chapter 28: The False Diagnosis
Saying it all out loud only made it clearer—what a wretched life she had lived.
“You might as well have abandoned me. Ignored me, no matter how much my step grandmother abused me. If you had, at least I wouldn’t have had any expectations.”
The words wouldn’t stop. Her chest ached.
“Ah, but I suppose you were ‘forced’ to bring me back because they kept demanding it.”
The Duke of Winchester remained silent, his lips pressed into a firm line.
She hadn’t expected an apology, but his refusal to even acknowledge her words left her exhausted.
“…It doesn’t matter anymore. I won’t beg anymore.”
If her mother had lived, would he have loved her?
Would he have treated her as he treated Melody?
“I won’t wait anymore.”
Perhaps, if things had been different, ‘Melody’ would have been her name, and ‘Estelle’ would have been the one cast aside.
“So please, Your Grace, stop this. Just keep doing what you’ve always done…”
Keep reminiscing about Rahelrn. Keep being proud of Lucas. Keep cherishing Melody.
“…”
He normally would have scolded her for her insolence, but now, he remained silent.
‘If this were any other time, he would have said, ‘I’ve given you everything—what more do you want?’’
But he would never understand.
You don’t truly abandon someone just by leaving them behind.
You abandon them when you make them realize they were never wanted in the first place.
After a long silence, he finally spoke.
“Will you not hear my side of the story? You said you understood why I never celebrated your birthday. Then surely, you must know why I treated you this way.”
His voice, which had started off calm, grew more intense.
“I won’t be like that anymore. It won’t be easy, but I will try to change. Speak your mind freely.”
How shameless.
Should she vent everything until he was satisfied?
She considered it for a moment—but only for a moment.
‘Did he not hear me? I said I wouldn’t beg, and I wouldn’t wait anymore. Does he think all these years of neglect will disappear just because he suddenly decides to change?’
A lifetime of being left out couldn’t be erased so easily.
“Did you ever listen when I tried to talk to you before?”
She let out a bitter laugh.
“I’m not trying to understand you. I was just a way for you to atone for my mother’s death.”
“…Estelle.”
If only she had been his only child.
If only he hadn’t adopted Melody and treated her so differently.
Then, at least, she could have endured it, thinking, ‘It’s his first time being a father—maybe he just doesn’t know how.’
But no. He had known exactly how to be a father—just not to her.
Would he ever truly understand?
The feeling of being the only one unloved?
She had spent her whole life questioning whether she was the problem. Reaching out, hoping for love.
Even in death, she had never been given even the smallest scrap of affection.
She had been dragged into despair, unable to find a reason to keep living—unable to climb out of the darkness.
‘If I hadn’t come back to the past… I would have had to just stand by and watch. Watch as they all lived peaceful, happy lives without me.’
She didn’t want to return to a life trapped in an eternal winter, never feeling the warmth of spring.
“I had a dream,” she murmured.
She saw the Duke’s expression shift, but she continued.
“In it, someone I trusted fed me poison. They looked down at me and told me to just die.”
The Duke’s brows furrowed.
“And you… You called me weak. You didn’t shed a single tear for me. You acted as if my death was a relief. You forgot about me so quickly—smiling, as if I had never existed.”
“That was just a ‘dream’! Are you seriously acting like this over a dream?!”
“I don’t care if it was a dream.”
Because even if it wasn’t real, it didn’t change the reality she had lived.
She met his eyes, her voice steady.
“…This is the last time I will ever call you ‘Father’.”
His expression darkened.
“You never once treated me like your daughter first. So from now on, I will not consider you my father either.”
Would he be so insulted that he would strip her of the Winchester name?
She wouldn’t mind.
“If you wish, you may disown me.”
Losing the name ‘Winchester’ would be a great disadvantage, but she had learned one thing—
‘I can always take revenge on Melody later. And if I am disowned, I will just go to my grandfather.’
Abandon them first.
That way, the regret wouldn’t hurt as much.
“…I have no intention of disowning you.”
With that single sentence, the Duke left the room.
The butler, looking uneasy, hurried after him.
‘…After all that, and he doesn’t want to disown me?’
Puzzled, she thought it over.
Then, she found the answer.
‘Of course. Even if he’s the Duke, disowning me—his only legitimate heir—would require the retainers’ approval. It would be too much trouble.’
More than that, he knew what a waste it would be to cast aside ‘Lady Winchester’—a valuable pawn in the marriage market.
“…I finally have some peace and quiet. I should stop thinking about this now.”
Estelle pushed aside her blanket and, despite her dizziness, stumbled to her desk.
Taking out a sheet of stationery, she held her quill with a tense grip and began writing the first lines.
—
To my dear Grandfather,
It has been a long time since we last spoke. I apologize for not writing sooner.
I am writing to you now because I wish to see you.
There are so many things I want to say when we meet.
I plan to visit the south and come to the Madel estate soon.
I would be deeply grateful if you would receive me.
—Estelle
—
At first, she had planned to send a formal request for a visit and wait for permission.
But knowing there was a chance he might refuse, she had simply written that she would go regardless.
“Grandfather isn’t that cold-hearted. If I show up unannounced, he might at least let me see him.”
At the very least, this time, she wanted to see him just once before he passed away.
“Lady Estelle, the physician has brought your medicine.”
Anna knocked softly and entered the room.
Estelle sealed the letter with wax before turning her attention to the approaching doctor.
The physician bowed, holding a bowl of dark liquid.
“This is a restorative tonic, my lady. It will help you regain your strength.”
“…What herbs were used?”
“The decoction contains ‘Lecal grass’, which lowers fever, and ‘Acalite root’, which replenishes nutrients.”
The response was smooth and practiced.
Still, the mere thought of drinking it unsettled her.
Perhaps it was her lingering unease from being poisoned in her past life.
“It looks hot. I’ll let it cool and drink it later.”
“It is most effective when taken warm, my lady.”
“My stomach isn’t feeling well. Just leave it here for now.”
The physician hesitated.
That hesitation felt suspicious.
She studied his face closely.
‘…Ron Pertman?’
A man who had served as the Winchester family doctor for many years—until his reputation was ruined.
It was later revealed that he had plagiarized medical research, leading to his disgrace and dismissal.
‘That incident hasn’t happened yet, then. He could be useful.’
A plan began forming in her mind.
‘If I have him forge a medical diagnosis stating I cannot bear children, the Empress will have no reason to insist on my engagement to the Crown Prince.’
A Crown Princess who couldn’t produce an heir was worthless.
‘Back then, the Empress always emphasized how important it was for me to be fertile. She even sent all sorts of pregnancy remedies and tonics.’
To her and Leonov, the only thing that mattered was securing a perfect heir.
—
“My lady, if the medicine is too bitter, shall I bring some sweets to cleanse your palate?”
“…That would be nice. Bring some fruit as well.”
Anna’s departure created the perfect opportunity—fetching fruit would take time, giving Estelle a moment alone with the physician.
“Well then, my lady, I shall take my leave.”
“Stay.”
The physician halted in surprise.
“I have some questions about this medicine.”
Anna left the room, her footsteps fading down the hall.
“What would you like to know, my lady?”
“…What happens if someone is caught plagiarizing a medical paper?”
The physician, who had appeared calm until now, suddenly turned pale.
“…T-Their medical license is revoked.”
“And that means not only dismissal from this household but also severe consequences for disgracing the Winchester name.”
“Lady Estelle! I swear, I have done no such thing! If I had, how could I still be employed here?”
‘Not yet,’ she thought. ‘But you will.’
“There is no such thing as a secret that remains hidden forever. Especially if that secret is stolen research.”
The physician fell to his knees.
Estelle smiled slightly.
“I have no intention of telling the Duke. Even if you’re caught, I could protect you. Of course, I don’t offer favors for free.”
“…What do you need, my lady?”
Smart people were always easier to manipulate.
She didn’t need to explain much—he had already figured it out.
“Write me a medical report. One stating that I am infertile and cannot bear children.”
“W-What?! My lady, why—”
He looked horrified.
Of course, he wouldn’t understand.
For a noblewoman, infertility was a grave flaw—especially for someone expected to bear an heir.
She couldn’t be bothered to explain.
“And here I thought you valued your life.”
“…I-I’ll do it!”
“Good choice.”
She leaned back, satisfied.
“If you want to keep those hands of yours, don’t breathe a word of this to anyone.”
