Chapter 27: Shadows of the Past
As Estelle’s eyelids fluttered open, a pair of deep amethyst-colored eyes came into focus. Blinking several times to clear her blurred vision, she finally recognized the figure before her.
“…Father?”
As her sight sharpened, it was unmistakable—the Duke of Winchester.
“You’re awake.”
For a moment, she thought she was still dreaming. He had never once visited her room before, so it was hard to believe he was here now.
“If you rest for a few more days, you’ll recover. Make sure to take your medicine properly.”
Even his tone was oddly gentle, something she had never expected from him.
Was it possible she hadn’t imagined what she saw earlier? Had she truly shown him such a vulnerable side?
‘…No, it can’t be.’
She didn’t want anyone—least of all him—to see her weak.
“What brings you here, Your Grace?”
The butler helped her sit up, propping a pillow behind her back.
“What do you mean? I came because I heard you collapsed at the entrance.”
That didn’t seem right.
‘So I fainted, and he came running? That’s ridiculous.’
Even when she had broken her leg as a child, falling down the stairs, he hadn’t come.
“You, Your Grace? Let’s be honest—just tell me what business you have here. You must have a reason.”
There was no way he had come just because she fainted.
Her head was already throbbing, and she had no energy to deal with him. She just wanted him to leave so she could rest.
“…The Empress has summoned you to the palace.”
Of course.
She had been right—he had a reason for being here.
The Duke placed an envelope sealed with the Empress’s crest on her bedside table.
Next to it lay the sapphire necklace she had found by the lake.
‘Where’s my rabbit doll?’
Glancing around, she couldn’t find it.
“If you’re still unwell, I can inform the Empress.”
“No, it’s fine. I’ll recover in three days. I’ll go then.”
Delaying it wouldn’t change anything. She might as well get it over with.
‘Leonov had only just arrived, and now the Empress was summoning me? She still hasn’t given up on the engagement.’
Just thinking about how to handle it was already exhausting.
“The preparations for your coming-of-age ceremony… I plan to ask Aunt Vanessa to assist you.”
“…Countess Vanessa Ezeff?”
Vanessa Ezeff.
The late Duchess of Winchester’s half-sister.
She was later imprisoned for human trafficking through her merchant group.
The Duke himself had been investigated simply for being related to her, and the scandal had greatly tarnished the Winchester name.
‘Of course, it hasn’t been exposed yet… but of all people, it had to be ‘her’?’
If the same crimes were committed in the future, having her as Estelle’s chaperone would lead to bad rumors.
“I don’t need a chaperone. I’m not struggling with the preparations.”
“Countess Ezeff will take good care of you. Besides, her character—”
The Duke continued praising her, refusing to accept Estelle’s rejection.
“People who seem the kindest are often the ones who will stab you in the back.”
Like Melody, who smiled sweetly while feeding others poison.
“You’ve barely even met Countess Ezeff. Why are you so against this?”
“Investigate the Ezeff merchant group—discreetly. You’ll see for yourself.”
It wasn’t for his sake.
‘Since I am still Estelle Winchester, this will affect me too.’
She just wanted to minimize the damage.
“If you have nothing else to say, please leave. I want to rest.”
Irritated, the Duke turned to leave—but then, he stopped and picked up the sapphire necklace.
“You… what is your relationship with Prince Michael? Is that why you refuse to marry the Crown Prince?”
Estelle could tell that he had seen the engraving on the back of the pendant.
Otherwise, he wouldn’t have reacted this way.
“You’re telling me you would throw away the position of Crown Princess for some illegitimate prince? Do you even realize what kind of position he holds? Once the Crown Prince ascends the throne, he’ll be the first to be purged!”
“No. My decision has nothing to do with him.”
“Nothing to do with him?! You are my daughter—the rightful heir of Winchester! What could you possibly be lacking, to throw yourself away for a ‘bastard’ like him—”
Everything about this conversation grated on her nerves.
The way he sneered as he called Michael a ‘bastard’.
The way he ignored her words and kept forcing his own conclusions.
But more than anything—
‘He called me his daughter.’
‘If he had only referred to me as the rightful heir of Winchester, I wouldn’t have been this angry.’
He had never cared for her before.
Yet now, when she became ‘useful’, he suddenly acknowledged her?
“This is ridiculous. If you have any intention of becoming the Second Prince’s consort, you will be the first target of the Empress’s wrath.”
“Enough! Just stop it!”
Estelle shouted with all the strength she had left.
Was he really this anxious?
Was he already so worried about the damage this might cause to Winchester?
“You—”
The Duke of Winchester stood frozen, staring blankly at Estelle. The butler had already stepped back, bowing his head in silence.
“Marriage? With a man who only avoids me, who refuses to tell me what we were to each other? How could I ever dream of such a future?”
She couldn’t suppress the fury rising within her.
“The Second Prince is already a major problem within the imperial family. With His Majesty unconscious, who do you think will protect him? People will look down on you if you associate with him—”
Now he was acting like a concerned father, spinning out a future where she married someone she barely understood. It was disgusting.
“I already told you, my decision has nothing to do with Prince Michael.”
“Then give me a reason—one that I can accept.”
No matter what she said, he would keep assuming it was because of Michael. So what was the point of explaining?
“…I’ve spent my entire life watching others, adjusting myself to their expectations, afraid of being cast aside. I don’t want to live like that anymore—erasing myself just to fit in.”
“What…?”
“If I become Crown Princess, I’ll have to serve the Empress, support the Crown Prince, fulfill the expectations of the empire, and bear an heir. I’ll be trapped in the palace for the rest of my life.”
She had realized this all too well while being trained for her past engagement to Leonov.
“Back then, I endured it because I thought I could bear it for his sake…”
But now that she no longer loved him, there was no reason to put up with it.
“If you can’t understand, then don’t. I have no intention of convincing you.”
Until now, he hadn’t forced the engagement on her—but even if he did, she would simply create reasons to be deemed unfit.
“No intention of convincing me? I am your father. I assumed you were acting out because of the stress of preparing for your coming-of-age ceremony, so I let your insolence slide. But this—!”
He had never shown her care or affection as a father, yet now he conveniently claimed that title when it suited him?
“I understood when you never once celebrated my birthday. Even when you treated me coldly, I thought—’If I just try harder, one day he’ll acknowledge me. One day, he’ll see me as his daughter.’ That’s how I endured.”
“……”
“All I ever wanted… was a kind word. A single warm glance. Just that.”
Her throat tightened.
When she was alone, she could bear it.
But now, she didn’t want to cry.
She pressed her fingernails into her palm, forcing herself to stay composed.
She swallowed back the lump in her throat and barely managed to hold back her tears.
“I remember it all so clearly. The way you frowned every time I called you ‘Father.’ How, at my debutante ball, every other father danced with their daughter for the first dance, but I was the only one who stood alone by the wall, watching. How you never once attended my entrance or graduation ceremonies.”
“…Estelle.”
“But you smiled when Melody called you Father. You danced with her at her debutante ball. And you never missed my brothers’ ceremonies.”
The memories clashed together.
The expressions on their faces. The whispers of others.
All the days she had spent watching her family from a distance, never truly belonging.
“When I needed a father, you were never there.”
