However, as far as Aiden knew, Anje had never sent a reply to the duke regarding the letter. This was closer to an implicit agreement to the duke’s proposal—an agreement to remarriage with someone.
In other words, she could disappear from here at any moment. The thought made his eyes sting.
‘…I can’t tie her down, either.’
He suddenly found himself missing the time when he had confined her to the drawing room to prevent her from wandering alone in the forest. Now, she was not only well-acquainted with the local geography but also knew how to handle a carriage, making it even easier for her to leave him.
Of course, it went without saying that he couldn’t forcibly confine her like that anymore. Back then, he hadn’t cared whether she hated him or not, but now, the thought of her hating him was the most terrifying thing of all.
How could he make her like him even a little more? How could he turn her heart so she wouldn’t leave him?
As he mulled over these thoughts in despair, he happened to catch a distorted reflection of himself in the kettle.
The image of himself, anxiously worrying about his loved one leaving and desperately trying to keep her by his side, reminded him of his father, the late emperor, who had tried to keep him in the palace.
‘Is this something that passes down between parent and child, even in aspects like this?’
He fiddled with the surface of the kettle and twisted his lips.
Even though she was right beside him, she felt as if she were far away. Was that how his father had felt about him as well?
Feeling a pang of pity for his father, he had once vowed not to become someone as selfish and dependent as him.
But that had been the arrogance of someone who had never been on the verge of losing someone precious.
* * *
“Aiden, come out here!”
At Anje’s unusually excited call, Aiden headed to the backyard.
The sun had just risen, and his mind, weary from worry, felt heavy. However, he couldn’t refuse her bright and cheerful voice.
“What did you call me for— Ah, finally.”
At the bottom where she was pointing, all the sunflowers had fully bloomed, their dense petals spreading wide open. The golden petals, shining brilliantly in the sunlight, were all splendid and beautiful.
For Anje, who had anxiously observed the flowers planted slightly later than the season, it was the best news possible.
A smile as bright as a sunflower spread from Anje to Aiden.
“Aren’t they amazing? To think that such small seeds have grown this big.”
“Indeed. Judging by their size, it looks like there’ll be plenty of seeds, too.”
Since these were the first flowers she had grown from seeds, their blooming held even more meaning. At the mention of seeds, Anje’s eyes sparkled.
“When can we harvest the seeds?”
“When the back of the flowers starts turning yellow, you can cover them with paper bags and wait.”
“Cover them with paper bags?”
“Yes, otherwise, they might fall to the ground and disappear, or squirrels and birds might eat them.”
“We can’t just let the animals steal them so easily. Next time we go into town, I’ll make sure to buy some paper bags in advance.”
Clenching her fist determinedly, Anje declared she wouldn’t let a single seed be stolen. Aiden then asked her,
“Is there something you want to make with the sunflower seeds? You could press them for oil or roast them—they’re delicious that way.”
Even if they saved some to plant next year, there wouldn’t be enough flowerbeds to plant all the seeds they’d get.
“Hmm… Let’s roast them and store them so we can snack on them when we get bored during winter.”
When the snow fell and the temperature dropped, they wouldn’t be able to take lighthearted walks in the forest or go out for exercise like now. She thought it would be a good idea to prepare some snacks for that time.
“Sounds good.”
“Why are you smiling so mischievously again?”
“Mischievously?”
“There’s a certain expression you have when you’re teasing me.”
To be precise, it wasn’t so much mischievous as boyishly playful, but Anje chose the less ticklish term.
“When I imagine you munching on sunflower seeds… it makes me think of a squirrel.”
“A squirrel? I’m not such a fragile animal, you know. If you’re going to compare me to an animal, make it a more elegant and majestic predator.”
“Elegant and majestic… A Yorkshire Terrier?”
Apologies, but it was hard to compare her, who was barely taller than a sunflower, to something like a leopard or a lion. Anje balled her fists tightly.
“Hey! I told you to keep that nickname sealed forever, didn’t I? Don’t you remember?”
“I do remember you saying that, but I don’t recall agreeing to it.”
He quietly accepted the taps she gave to his upper arm. Since there wasn’t much strength in them, they didn’t hurt much.
“How about we have breakfast over there, looking at the flowers this morning?”
“Let’s do that!”
Aiden’s suggestion was exactly to Anje’s taste. Together, they spread a blanket on the ground and busily carried over teacups and plates.
Anje secretly observed him—or more precisely, his arm—while he was moving around.
‘It’s definitely thick.’
To check if it was the kind of arm Miss Meri would approve of, she subtly confirmed it by tapping his forearm. Although they occasionally ran together in the mornings, he didn’t seem to do any other training, which made it all the more curious. Was it because he always handled the heavy lifting?
As a pang of conscience hit her for secretly inspecting his physique, her cheeks flushed red.
‘Well, I mean, the madames I met in high society often did things like this too.’
She recalled how they would giggle among themselves while peeking at well-built attendants from behind their fans…
Wait a minute—did that mean she, too, had officially joined the ranks of married women? The thought suddenly felt strange.
“Enjoy your meal.”
“You too.”
She sipped her hot tea, shaking off the unsettling feeling.
“Now that I think about it, what do you usually do on the farm during the winter? You can’t work the fields, and with the snow, it’s probably not easy to go out…”
“Usually, we take care of the livestock, make or repair furniture we had put off. Otherwise, we spend our time leisurely, reading books or doing small tasks.”
“Don’t you do any hunting?”
She asked with an expectant look in her eyes, wondering if there would be an opportunity to show off her shooting skills.
“We do go hunting sometimes, but since it’s winter, food is scarce, and the animals are thin. There aren’t any good hunting targets, so we only go when our stored food runs low.”
“I see.”
Aiden, worried that she might find the winter here too boring, quickly added,
“I heard that the women’s association is planning to hold a singing class around Christmas, so you could join that if you like.”
If it were just him, he would never join an event like that, as he didn’t particularly enjoy singing, but Anje, who liked socializing, would probably enjoy it.
Besides, when she got absorbed in work, she often sang. Sometimes she got the lyrics or melody wrong, but it was still a sound that conveyed a feeling of enjoyment.
“They say they’re going to teach Christmas carols.”
“Christmas carols! That sounds fun, I’d like that.”
Anje clapped her hands together in excitement, then stopped suddenly.
“But how do we get to town?”
From what she had heard from Aiden before, the snow could get quite deep, so wouldn’t they be isolated on the farm?
Though she liked the farm, being unable to move due to external circumstances would probably feel frustrating.
“We take a sleigh.”
“A sleigh?”
“Yes, haven’t you ever ridden one?”
“Never. In the capital, whenever the snow piled up on the streets, someone would come right away and clear it, so we’d always take a carriage even in the dead of winter.”
Looking back, there must have been people clearing the snow at that time. Inside the mansion, servants were busy with brooms, outside on the streets, manual laborers would be bustling about early in the morning or right after the snow fell, shovels in hand.
Even though they rode in carriages to numerous social events like banquets or plays during the dead of winter, she had never thought about the fact that someone must have cleared the path for them.
“You’d probably like the sleigh more than the carriage. It’s much more thrilling because it glides closer to the ground.”
Anje’s ears perked up. Imagining a sleigh speeding through the white snow sounded fun just by thinking about it.
“Do you put bells on the horses? Like in the song, ‘Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells’?”
“Of course.”
He had never done it before, but if she wanted it, he would.
He’d make a bigger and more spacious sleigh than the one-person sleigh he currently used, and prepare a thick blanket to keep her warm.
He would decorate the reins connecting the sled and the horses with holly decorations and red ribbons, something she would surely like.
He spoke various things that he thought Anje would like, waiting for her positive response.
“I’m already looking forward to it.”
Anje smiled brightly at him, exactly as he had hoped. Despite getting the answer he wanted, he pressed her for one more response.
“Are you really going with me?”
“Of course. You’re making a sleigh just for me, so I won’t let you go alone.”
Anje stretched out her pinky finger but then realized she was naturally talking about spending the winter with him, as if it was something that was bound to happen.
‘I could leave before winter…’
She recalled her father’s letter. She had been so preoccupied with the subtle tension between herself and Aiden that she hadn’t thought about the contents of the letter for a while.
The letter she had found after anxiously worrying all afternoon, afraid Aiden might find it, was hidden in the far corner between the desk and the wall. It seemed as if it never wanted to be found again.
‘No, actually, I…’
She never wanted it to be found again. If she could forget it, she wanted to forget it.
Her father, the capital, the title of title of a noblewoman, the honour—compared to Aiden, they were nothing.
‘This is why I couldn’t muster up the courage to confess.’
If she finally managed to confess and they both started liking each other, parting ways would be far too sad.
She turned her gaze toward the sunflowers, standing firm. The tiny seed she had planted had grown through countless winds, dust, and rain to bloom so large and beautiful.
At that moment, Anje made up her mind.
* * * *
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