Meanwhile, at that time, Aiden was diligently walking back to the draper’s store where Anje would be waiting for him, having just left the jewelry store. A satisfied smile spread across his face as he felt his bulging pocket.
‘It was worth the money.’
The ring, reborn under the hands of an expert, was so beautiful that it was hard to recognize its former appearance. He had never known that the ring, which had been gathering dust in a drawer, could be transformed like this.
Small diamond cubes in the shape of leaves, enclosing a newly polished, gleaming green peridot.
‘I’m glad I decided to give her the ring, even if it’s late.’
His steps quickened as he thought of the recipient of the ring. He wanted to show her the ring as soon as possible.
What made him hesitate for a moment was the shortcut leading to the draper’s store. This alleyway would shorten his walking time, but he had deliberately not chosen this route earlier.
Bang, bang, thud–
The sound of a hammer hitting an anvil reached him at the entrance of the alley. He flinched and raised his shoulders.
‘No, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay now.’
He stared into the alleyway, deliberately straightening his shoulders and walking with a steady, wide stride. His palms were slightly sweaty.
He had once had a ‘seizure’ while passing by this blacksmith’s shop. Since then, he had become so afraid of even going near it that he had limited his range of movement.
But that was a long time ago, and he was much better now. Hadn’t it been half a year since he had only had mild premonitory symptoms?
At least, that’s what he believed. He had to get better.
‘I can’t avoid uncomfortable places forever. I have to overcome them like a man.’
Even as he repeated this to himself, his breathing became rapid and sweat broke out on his forehead. He wiped away the moisture with the back of his hand and looked straight ahead.
His left hand was fidgeting with the ring box in his pants pocket, and his right hand was clutching the fabric near his heart.
‘I’m going to pass through this alleyway and give her the ring.’
As he set his goal of going to the draper’s store where Anje would be waiting for him, his fear of the seizure subsided somewhat.
Bang, bang–
He walked past the blacksmith’s shop, tense at the sound, but pretending to be nonchalant. However, his gaze was fixed on the hammer that was glowing red hot.
The smell of hot metal and iron, something burning.
‘Captain!’
He closed his eyes tightly. His voice automatically replayed in his head.
‘Torture me instead! Torture me!’
No matter how much he shouted, hanging from the iron bars until his throat was raw, the guards never came near him.
He opened his eyes again, trembling. This was nothing more than an old memory triggered by a similar smell.
‘This isn’t that place; this is Leslie… This place is safe.’
Aiden covered his nose to avoid the smell and forced his shaking legs to move.
Even as he bumped into people on the street multiple times and they glared at him or expressed their displeasure, he paid no mind.
Right now, escaping this place was more important—escaping the blacksmith and escaping his memories.
“Ha, ha.”
Running aimlessly down an unknown path, Aiden realized he had put some distance between himself and the blacksmith. He leaned against a wall to catch his breath. The nauseous feeling was gradually subsiding.
‘Good. I made it through without having a seizure.’
He felt momentarily relieved, but unfortunately, his ordeal was not over.
“Yah, yah! Why won’t this damned beast move?”
A coachman was mercilessly whipping his horse in the middle of the road to get it to move. The sound triggered another hallucination in Aiden, who was already on the verge of a seizure.
The sight of his comrades, bloodied and groaning in pain.
‘Captain, help us…’
Aiden’s heart, which had barely calmed down, started pounding rapidly again. He clutched the ring in his pocket tightly and stumbled away.
His head spun, and his vision blurred. He was out of breath and his chest pounded as if he had just finished a race. These were signs that the seizure he dreaded was imminent.
‘Not here.’
He didn’t want to have a seizure in front of the townspeople.
Although he nearly collapsed several times, he managed to move his body and finally entered an unused, empty barn.
“Ha.”
He collapsed like a marionette with its strings cut. Even as he clawed at his constricted chest, his breathing didn’t ease.
‘Who should be tortured next? Come on, Sir. Choose someone.’
‘Torture me instead. Please. I beg you.’
‘What’s this? Feeling guilty all of a sudden? What about when you were happily killing our soldiers?’
He uttered the words he couldn’t say back then, silently to himself.
‘I didn’t want to kill them either. If I hadn’t, they would have killed me or my men…’
The memories he had buried resurfaced, pressing down on him like a heavy stone.
Aiden scratched the floor rough and regardless of whether his nails broke or not. He needed something to hold onto.
‘This is my illusion.’
He needed to take deep breaths. Inhale, exhale. Stay calm. He continued to coach himself.
‘I won’t die over this trivial matter. I have to win. Focus.’
Even with his mouth gaping like a fish, air didn’t reach his lungs. He breathed awkwardly, like a human learning to breathe for the first time. Someone whispered mockingly as if laughing at him.
‘You bastard murderer. Your comrades died because you kept your mouth shut. How do you feel?’
A new voice shattered his resolve as he fought back.
‘’I’ve told you countless times. I’m just a bastard child… I don’t know anything about state secrets…’
‘Is that so? …Well, it doesn’t matter. If we keep torturing your friends, sooner or later, you’ll say something’
‘If you’re doing this out of hatred for me, then just torture me instead.’
‘It’s not that easy. So, who’s next?’
His closed eyes burned hot. Animalistic cries erupted from his throat.
He wished anyone would chase away this illusion. If he didn’t, he felt like he would die like this.
Like a weak beast caught in a trap, he was scared and terrified. And he was powerless.
‘Please, stop…’
Knowing it was a futile hope, he still wished for a miracle.
The seizure he experienced after so long was excruciating and lonely. A few seconds felt like hours.
Gradually, he lost track of where he was and what time it was. His mind plunged repeatedly into the dark, underground prison of his past.
“…Sir Aiden?”
He looked up, his face smeared with tears and dust, gazing at his savior.
* * *
Anje stumbled upon Aiden purely by coincidence.
“Is this… right? Or maybe not?”
Despite detailed directions from Jean and Mary, being in town for the first time caused her to quickly lose her way. Now, she had nothing to say to Aiden, who treated her like a child.
“What to do…”
She thought about stopping a passing villager and asking for directions, but everyone glanced at her as if she were a curious creature, which made her lose her nerve.
‘It’s like I’m a rare poisonous mushroom they’ve never seen before.’
Relying on her instincts, she turned into a suitable alleyway. Since all paths connected somewhere, she figured she’d arrive somewhere eventually. She had forgotten about getting lost in the forest due to a similar recklessness.
“Wait, is this the right place?”
That store over there seemed familiar from earlier. It felt like she’d been going in circles due to the strange direction.
Once she entered a strange alleyway recklessly, she fortunately found the man she was looking for.
“…Sir?”
Why was the person who went to the jewelry store going into an old, rundown barn? Moreover, he looked uncomfortable, with his head bowed deeply against the wall.
She thought it strange, but followed him into the deserted barn.
The floor was filled with hay and dust, with patches of sunlight penetrating through the roof holes.
“You’re here, Sir?”
Carefully walking over, she soon discovered Aiden, lying groaning on the dirty floor. Her heart sank to the ground.
“Sir Aiden? Where does it hurt?”
As she called his name, he briefly lifted his head before dropping it back to the ground. His muttering behind his hand sounded like a plea to “stay away.”
Yet Anje wasn’t someone to stay away just because he said so. Rushing over, almost tripping over, she sat beside him.
“Are you feeling unwell?”
“I’m fi-, haa”
He couldn’t finish his sentence and instead gasped for breath. Seeing him struggling with his breathing and appearing weak, Anje’s face also turned pale.
Though she had seen people vomiting from over-drinking at banquets or collapsing from tight corsets, this was a different kind of affliction.
Was it a heart or lung issue? She panicked, fumbling as she tried to assess his condition.
“What should I do? Should I call someone? A doctor?”
Despite his dazed state, Aiden understood her words and desperately shook his head, clutching at her sleeve. He knew that calling anyone wouldn’t help.
Half-rising from her seated position, Anje remained beside him, visibly distressed.
“Don’t call anyone? Oh, what should I do?”
As she watched him struggle to breathe, Anje remembered the small brown bottle she always carried in her bag in high society circles.
The little brown bottle the maids gave her to carry. It contained herb oil that was supposed to have a calming effect.
It hadn’t been very effective for her, but maybe it would help him.
“Let me try this… Oh, darn it.”
She hurriedly took out the glass bottle, only to accidentally drop and break it. Uttering a quiet curse, she moved closer to him.
* * * *
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