Belatedly, I thought I should go back.
An apology is an apology, and I felt I needed to hear what her intentions were for saying such things.
I didn’t expect that being with the Duke would only bring happy times.
I just chose to be by the Duke’s side even if I faced hardships.
‘But this is different. It’s as if I’m being tested…’
I realized that being the Duke’s lover, rather than just an employee-employer relationship, might be very different.
No matter how much I try to treat things the same, I felt that things might not go back to how they were before.
‘For now… let’s ask.’
After all, I can’t know the truth just by thinking alone.
Knock knock.
“I’m sorry for storming out earlier. About what we were talking about…”
But this time, unlike before, I didn’t hear any invitation to come in.
I knocked a couple more times, but still, there was no response from inside.
“I’m coming in.”
When I opened the door, wondering what could be wrong, Mrs. Wells had already left. Only the slippers I had brought as a gift were left behind.
Things were taking a strange turn. It was only now that I noticed, my vision narrowed from stubbornly trying to apologize and missing the timing repeatedly.
Once I started thinking about it, suspicious points kept coming up one after another.
There wasn’t just one or two strange things.
Mrs. Wells acting rudely.
Norman behaving awkwardly.
All of these were uncharacteristic behaviors.
And it wasn’t just those two.
Noah keeping his distance strangely, even before I ran away earlier.
The Duke not paying attention to his own affairs when things weren’t going well.
Of course, in the Duke’s case, I had drawn the line myself, but the Duke I knew would have at least left some advice on what to do.
But the Duke seemed to be observing as if he knew the whole situation.
“What on earth is going on?”
I realized that everyone was acting strange, but now the question was why.
Why were all the people in the Duke’s Mansion behaving so suspiciously towards me?
Carol sat on the sofa, deep in thought.
****
Mrs. Wells wiped her sweat with a handkerchief as she headed towards the kitchen. Even the coolness of the corridor couldn’t cool her sweat.
‘Doing something I’m not used to made me so nervous that my neck stiffened.’
She sighed deeply while massaging her shoulders with her hand.
She had been avoiding Carol well, but Norman had to go and set up an appointment, which caused the problem of meeting her.
Mrs. Wells let out a deep sigh as she recalled Carol’s dejected appearance.
The situation had grown much bigger than expected.
Originally, it wasn’t supposed to drag on this long, nor was she meant to act so coldly.
The situation didn’t escalate just because of meeting Carol just now, nor because Norman set up an appointment on his own and ran away.
They had prepared a party to coincide with the arrival of Carol’s siblings.
But due to bad weather, the siblings’ arrival was delayed, pushing back the schedule.
And there was an unexpected intervention as well.
After hearing Mrs. Wells’ opinion, Noah had made a request.
[Then I have a favor to ask too.]
[I’ll listen, but I can’t promise I’ll grant it.]
When Noah put on a serious expression, it often led to headaches, so she didn’t answer right away. Noah, seeming to have expected this reaction, spoke his wish instead of insisting.
[If Carol comes here, I’m curious about what will happen to me, what Carol thinks about it.]
[Noah.]
[I want to ask if I can take refuge in the temple where Teacher Elisha is, if I have to leave.]
Although he usually lived cheerfully, Noah was very aware of his situation. Mrs. Wells sighed deeply, seeing Noah who understood his reality all too well, perhaps excessively so.
[You’re having unpleasant thoughts. That’s too extreme, Noah.]
[I know. But you never know, right?]
[…]
[And if the two people I care about are troubled because of me, it’s only natural that I should leave.]
Noah shrugged, trying to speak brightly. But he couldn’t hide the bitterness in his words. He thought he had improved a lot since coming here, but the wounds of being abandoned by his family would unexpectedly surface from time to time.
Noah probably didn’t distrust Carol, but he seemed to want to know her true feelings through this opportunity.
It was an awkward request to either refuse or accept.
[I’ll see when there’s a chance.]
[I’d prefer if you asked before the party rather than after. Wouldn’t that reveal her true feelings?]
That’s why Mrs. Wells avoided Carol as much as possible. After all, you can know ten fathoms of water, but not one fathom of a person’s mind, right? Noah could be hurt by Carol’s words if she knew nothing.
As she reached the kitchen, Norman was busy directing people from the center of the kitchen.
“Norman.”
“Ah, Madam.”
Norman approached Mrs. Wells, wiping his damp hands on his apron as if aware of his wrongdoing.
“I hear they’re about to arrive.”
“Is that so?”
Before meeting Carol, she had received a letter saying that her siblings had just arrived in the north. Accordingly, they immediately sent a coachman for Benjamin and Bianca at the Academy.
It was really soon now.
“Is the cooking almost done? I want to end this act as soon as possible.”
“I think we can manage within the time.”
Norman said, glancing back. Then, looking apologetic to Mrs. Wells who was pressing her temples, he asked,
“Did the talk not go well?”
“I don’t know.”
Because both of us ran away.
“Ran away?”
Norman’s eyes widened.
“Teacher Carol seemed flustered and couldn’t answer right away.”
“…I guess I shouldn’t have set up the meeting.”
Norman had faith that Carol wouldn’t reject Noah. He hadn’t anticipated that Noah would run away while Carol was stunned into silence.
“It’s fine, we know now.”
Mrs. Wells left the kitchen hurriedly, saying there was no need to scold since what’s done is done.
She resolved that from now on, it would be better not to act unlike herself.
****
She was so nervous her palms were sweating.
Carol thought for a while in the room.
She had been speechless not because she secretly thought of sending Noah away someday, but because she had naturally assumed they would all stay together.
“I need to meet them.”
Even if she met them now, she felt she would still stutter as her thoughts weren’t fully organized.
But she didn’t want to let the day pass like this.
Although she didn’t know what everyone was hiding, she felt she should do what she could today.
As soon as that thought occurred to her, she couldn’t sit still and stood up from her seat.
She planned to clearly convey her opinion to Mrs. Wells, and then properly explain to Noah as well.
Bang!
Just as Carol, who had neatly packed the gifts, opened the door forcefully, a servant was standing right in front of it, about to knock.
“Oh my…!”
The servant placed a hand on their chest, startled. Carol, as if thinking this was perfect timing, grabbed the servant’s hand.
“I’m sorry, but do you know where Mrs. Wells is?”
If it had been yesterday, they would have said “I’m not sure” or “I’ll find out and let you know,” but an unexpected answer came back.
“I was just about to call for you.”
“Pardon?”
The servant smiled, saying it was fortunate that Carol was in the room.
Throughout the journey, there had been no one around, vividly reviving memories from a few years ago.
Carol needlessly looked out the window. Then, as now, the northern landscape looked white and cold.
The place she was guided to was somewhere Carol knew. It was where she had awkwardly met with Louis, Margaret, and the Duke a few years ago.
“Thank you for guiding me.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Do you happen to know why Mrs. Wells is here?”
“Um… I think she’s tidying up inside because guests are coming…”
The servant trailed off. A brief silence fell between the two. Unable to bear the silence, the servant bowed their head.
“Then I have other matters to attend to, so I’ll be going now.”
“Ah, yes! Thank you.”
Carol stood in front of the door until the servant’s back was out of sight.
Carol took a deep breath. As she resolved to finish everything today, her body tensed up.
‘This time, I’ll speak as soon as I enter, without taking a detour.’
Carol organized her thoughts, took a deep breath, and counted in her mind to prepare herself.
One.
Two.
Three.
Bang.
“Even if I become the Duke’s wife, I don’t want to send Noah away! And I’m sorry for irresponsibly running away earlier!”
That was her conclusion. Carol spoke immediately upon opening the door, her eyes tightly shut. She had spoken first to prevent Mrs. Wells from saying anything else.
