Chapter 183
Even when she opened her eyes and looked at him, she was lovely—so how beautiful she looked now, eyes closed, with those thick lashes casting shadows down her cheeks.
She didn’t even know what she was feeling as she endured everything, yet she fearlessly demanded a kiss with those impudent lips, how utterly adorable they were.
It was clear that Lia had a power to drive people mad, though she herself seemed unaware of it.
Just hearing her call his name had given him a strange and overwhelming sense of fulfillment that lingered through his entire body. Remembering that, Lucio quietly shook his head and stood up.
It was at that very moment that his gaze landed on the table beside the bed.
“Ugh!”
A wave of excruciating pain hit him, as if someone had slammed a hammer into the top of his skull.
Lucio grimaced and dropped to his knees.
***
As I slowly blinked my eyes open, I realized I was dreaming about the past again, seeing that all-too-familiar scenery and the face I never wanted to see again.
⟨Are your ears blocked or something? I said, get to my room. Now.⟩
Jade, standing in front of me, grabbed my arm and tried to drag me forcibly.
That same insufferable tone and behavior, I wanted to punch him right then and there.
But instead, I simply pulled my arm away with an incredulous look and asked, ⟨Why should I?⟩ Because in this dream, I couldn’t move my body as I wanted.
Meanwhile, Jade sneered and said,
⟨Tch, playing innocent again. Try acting like you do with the Master, like the tongue inside his mouth. Who knows? I might just acknowledge your skills.⟩
This *****?
Even knowing it was a dream, hearing that mockery again made my blood boil.
But once more, I only glared at Jade with a face hardened by humiliation.
Because I knew exactly what he meant by ‘skills.’
Jade, the other elite agents, and even the lower-tier informants, they all believed I was being favored by the Master. They whispered nonsense like I seduced him, or visited his room every night.
When I first heard those rumors, I was more furious at how they insulted the Master than ashamed for myself, so I fought back.
But unlike me, who trembled with rage, the Master neither intervened nor corrected the rumors.
And I began to think that maybe his indifference was proof that he didn’t care about me at all.
However, Jade and the others seemed to interpret things differently. Their once-secretive gossip became bolder, and eventually, they began to insult me directly to my face like this.
The me in the dream let out a deep sigh.
⟨If you’re drunk, quit the bull**** and just go to bed quietly.⟩
Despite his clear speech, Jade reeked of alcohol.
When I ignored him and tried to walk past, he growled,
⟨You think you’re better than me just because the Master favors you?⟩ and violently grabbed my collar.
In that moment, I twisted his arm behind him in a swift motion and slammed him into the wall with a loud thud.
Both of us knew that if I applied a little more pressure, his arm would break.
Jade pressed his forehead against the wall, panting in pain and glancing back at me in shock.
We’d exchanged barbs many times before, but this was the first time I’d reacted with force, he was clearly caught off guard.
But this time, I couldn’t just let him get away with it.
Because I had just found the Spleesia antidote I’d given the Master tossed in the trash, and was on my way back to my quarters.
⟨Let go, will you?! I said let go!⟩
⟨Apologize first. For the garbage you just spouted, for telling me to come to your room at this hour and for spreading those ridiculous lies about the Master favoring me. Apologize for all of it.⟩
Jade, trembling, snorted at my demand.
⟨You’re the clueless one. Why should I apologize when I didn’t say anything wrong? What a joke. I thought maybe you were good in bed or something since the Master keeps you around, but you think you’re actually desirable as a woman?⟩
⟨You really…⟩
⟨Don’t kid yourself. The Master just keeps you around because you’re no real woman, so there won’t be any complications. It’s not because he likes you.⟩
In that moment, my body froze.
Jade instantly noticed I’d lost strength. He pulled free from my hold, rubbed his wrist, and smirked. That sick grin told me everything.
‘He knows I can’t have children.’
I’d always been a slow developer. I’d grown up underfed, and after joining Terencium, endured grueling, near-abusive training.
My puberty came late, and with no one to explain what was happening to my body, I suffered in silence until a superior, Rophie, finally helped me.
Then one day, Ted, a doctor and officer in the guild, offered me a trial of a new herbal compound that supposedly enhanced mana circulation.
He said I had far less mana than the other agents, so it shouldn’t be a problem. The herbs were all rare and beneficial.
I believed him.
And it seemed to work, my mana flow improved, and I felt like I had more energy.
Even though humans aren’t supposed to be able to increase their innate mana levels.
It wasn’t until my already irregular cycle stopped completely that I realized the herbs had a side effect: infertility.
I was shocked, yes—but I got over it quickly.
After all, I never expected to get married, and becoming an officer like Rophie, recognized by the guild, was the only future I could imagine.
Besides, I wasn’t sick, and not having to deal with monthly hassles made fieldwork easier.
I even reassured Ted many times that it was fine.
But… maybe I was only pretending everything was fine.
⟨You… how do you know that?⟩
⟨What do you care? Wait, are you crying? Ugh, why are you tearing up like that, gross…⟩
⟨Say it properly!⟩
My vision blurred, and I thought maybe it was because it was a dream—but no, I was crying.
When I roughly wiped away the tears and growled threateningly, Jade spat out, ⟨I overheard it when I went to report to the Master. So what!⟩ and walked past me.
Left alone, I began to sob, my shoulders shaking.
From what I remember, I cried for quite a while.
At the time, I didn’t know exactly why I was so heartbroken—but now, I do.
It was probably because, deep down, I felt humiliated that someone like Jade had uncovered such a painful, secret truth: that I might never meet or build a family of my own. The despair, the resignation, I had tried so hard to keep it hidden.
The next day, Jade, his face a mess as if he’d been dragged through the dirt, apologized, saying he’d made a mistake while drunk. But I ignored him like I hadn’t heard.
And then, I treated him like usual. As if nothing had ever happened.
Because the dream had been so vivid, so clear even into the next day, a heavy sadness welled up in my chest.
I tried to keep calm, waiting to wake up from the dream.
Then, suddenly, I felt something strange.
Whenever I dreamed of my past as an intelligence agent, the Master had always been there. Even if other comrades or superiors appeared, the Master had never been absent.
‘But why is he missing today…?’
At that moment, a strange premonition crossed my mind.
***
“…Hic.”
“Lia?”
“Huuu….”
“Lia, wake up!”
I was sobbing quietly when a light touch shook me gently, making me stir.
Then suddenly, my eyes snapped open.
I sat up with a jolt and looked around, but the scenery had already changed, I was awake.
I had wanted to see if the Master had been watching, but…
Just as I sighed in disappointment…
“Are you okay?”
“…?!”
I thought I had imagined it in my half-sleep!
Startled, I saw Lucio sitting by the bed with a worried expression. As I blinked dazedly, tears spilled down my cheeks.
Lucio gently brushed beneath my eyes.
“What kind of dream made you cry like that?”
His gentle voice and touch made me burst into tears again, and I clung to him.
“I had a nightmare. A really scary one.”
No sooner had I spoken than the tears came pouring out again.
Maybe surprised by my sudden outburst, Lucio hesitated for a moment, then resumed patting my back softly, just like before I fell asleep.
Still sniffling, I burrowed deeper into his embrace.
“It’s okay now. You’re safe.”
At his comforting voice, I nodded and murmured that I was glad.
And I meant it.
I didn’t know how I had come back from death, or how the Master was connected to it, but I was truly grateful for this new life.
‘Even when Diana talked about her niece or nephew being born… I was honestly happy.’
But the embarrassment lingered, and burying my face in Lucio’s chest, I suddenly looked up.
“But… why are you still here?”
I didn’t want to believe it, but… had I really fallen asleep in his arms? Even after he’d moved me to bed, why hadn’t he left?
Confused, I stared at him. Lucio spoke.
“You should probably change clothes. I couldn’t exactly do that for you, could I?”
Startled, I looked down to find I was still wearing the same clothes from when I’d gone out last night to search for the relic.
Relieved that nothing had happened, I let out a breath, but then I noticed Lucio was already dressed perfectly, as if ready for work.
Perhaps seeing my surprised expression, Lucio chuckled.
“Did you think I stayed here all night? I just popped back to my place. It’s right next door.”
At his casual answer, my face flushed uncontrollably.
As I hurried to lower my eyes, I suddenly noticed his complexion was still pale.
The sun was about to rise, judging by the sky outside—was he still feeling unwell?
Just as I was about to ask if he was okay…
“Do you often wake up crying like this?”
Lucio asked in a low, serious voice.
“…Do you remember what the dream was about?”
