The situation in front of her was so dream-like that she, who had been sluggish and foolish for a while, realized that this was reality only when she heard the director’s screams. However, the feeling of the slippery, hot blood flowing through her fingers was still vivid. No matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t figure out why her life, which was supposed to have met her death in the Elad duchy, continued in this way. Maybe God gave her a chance because he felt pity for her who was not loved by anyone until the end.
‘Even though I’m back to being a helpless 8-year-old…’
“Lia, what are you doing?”
“Huh?”
“Aren’t you eating bread?”
She was so lost in thoughts that she wasn’t even eating bread, so Emily, who was sitting next to her, called her. A voice mixed with anxiety and anticipation. When she saw Emily, who couldn’t take her eyes off the bread she was holding, her wry smile came out.
“Emily, do you want to eat this?”
“Yes? Oh no! Leah needs to eat too.”
“I am not very hungry today. So eat this, Emily.”
“Really? Can I really eat it?”
It was a time when she felt a little relieved by Emily’s excited reaction.
“Hey! If you’re not going to eat it, give it to me. You guys are short and weak, so even if I eat, I have to eat more.”
When she turned her head at the absurd sound, Thomas, the biggest and oldest in the orphanage, stood triumphantly.
“Do not be ridiculous. Why are you eating mine?”
“What, what?!”
Thomas, who was usually timid and quiet, could not have imagined that she would come out like this.
“Where are you talking back? If I eat, I eat! Do you want to be scolded?”
Then he moved one arm menacingly and approached her. It looked like she was going to hit it straight away, but she raised her chin instead. They were among the children who grew up unable to eat no matter how big they were. That 10-year-old kid who wasn’t even an adult man wasn’t scared at all.
“Don’t make a fuss.”
At that time, a boy with dark gray hair in a corner talked. It was Thomas and his same age Jack.
“Why is this parasitic brother interfering?”
Thomas, who was usually very jealous of the handsome Jack, glared at him at once.
‘Still, I can’t beat Jack.’
It was a time when he shook his head, saying that the fight was not all about size.
“Careless! I eat this!”
Thomas approached her, stuck out his tongue, grabbed her bread and quickly ran away.
“That sneaky bastard!”
She screamed and tried to follow, but Emily grabbed hold of her. She looked around and all the kids were staring at her, maybe it was strange that she was fighting Thomas. Embarrassed by the sudden attention, she cleared her throat and sat down. Not knowing how to regret not chasing Thomas at that time all day long.
* * *
Growl, growl, growl.
While squatting and sweeping the floor with frozen hands, she grabbed her stomach. She was very hungry.
“I should have followed you.”
Then she heard a tsk, a clicking sound.
“Then why are you trying to give up bread for nothing?”
It was Jack, who was sitting on the window sill washing the windows.
“What did you say just now?”
He was still hungry, but he started a fight? Throwing away the mop he was holding, she stood up and opened her eyes. Jack paused before continuing.
“None of that would have happened if you hadn’t yielded the bread from the start.”
“Then is it my fault?”
“Yes.”
“Woo!”
Technically there was nothing wrong with Jack’s words, but that made her even more angry. It might be embarrassing to be angry with a child, but she couldn’t stand the anger, perhaps because her mind was young because her body was young. Besides, since she knew what kind of adult Jack would become when she grew up, she thought that now might be her only chance to fight and win.
‘Are you rushing?’
It was a moment of serious concern.
“Uh?”
She looked down at her hands in amazement. In the hand that had been holding the rag a while ago, there was half of the black bread from the morning.
“I’m giving this to you…?”
“If you don’t want to eat it, throw it away.”
“Don’t throw it away!”
Why did he throw away food? No matter how hard black bread is, it’s all the same once it goes inside the stomach.
“Jack, you too… Are you a good kid?”
She looked at Jack while exclaiming inwardly the immutable truth, ‘Those who give food, good people!’.
“You… It’s a bit strange today.”
Then Jack said, narrowing his eyes. At that, he was taken aback. Jack and she came from the same orphanage, but they hadn’t spoken a few times. But how did he know that she had changed? She was embarrassed for no reason, so she changed the subject in a hurry.
“But why are you giving me this?”
Since there was only one meal a day, it must have been saved for later, so she didn’t know why this bread was given to her.
“The growl is so loud that it kills me, so be quiet.”
“Okay!”
She stared at Jack to say something sharp this time, but she froze. Beyond the window, into the snow-covered front yard of the nursery school, a man and a girl were walking in.
* * *
So currently. After hearing the director’s introduction and Diana’s greetings, she was completely frozen.
‘… Is it today?’
The day she returned from the Elad duchy’s death was the day Diana, the youngest princess of the Elad duchy’s family, entered Tesar Nursery School.
‘Can this really be passed off as a coincidence?’
However, on reflection, it occurred to her that the first turning point in her life could be meeting Diana. If Diana hadn’t appeared here in the past, the Duke of Elad wouldn’t have blown up her nursery, and she, too, would have become a street beggar overnight and she wouldn’t have gone through that trouble either. So, if she came back to this moment, wouldn’t it mean to start a new life from the first turning point? Obsessed with her long thoughts while watching the blue eyes of the child who was holding the hem of her sleeve, she looked at the child with a new feeling.
‘Looking at it now, she definitely feels like a noble lady.’
She didn’t know it when she was young, but now she felt the difference in the child. Aside from her pretty appearance with her cuteness flowing, Diana’s clothes were dirty, but they were made of materials and designs that were not seen in nursery school children who bought old clothes from villagers and wore them.
“Excuse me.”
“… yes?”
“How old are you?”
“I’m 3! No, it’s 4 years!”
Diana lifted three of her chubby fingers, then she hurriedly switched to four.
It wasn’t long after her birthday, so it seemed like she wasn’t used to her age. It also matched her memory. It’s winter now, and Diana’s birthday was in the fall.
‘As expected, I went back to 10 years ago.’
It was like a dream that she attended Diana’s 14th birthday party just a few months ago. At that time, as if she couldn’t stand the stinging stares from her surroundings, Diana said, “Sigh.” and pouted her lips.
Suddenly, the past came to mind.
In her previous life, she was as careful not to get close to Diana as any other child. It was because Diana was very childish, and she cried all the time, and she was afraid that she would be scolded by her director if they were together.
‘Actually, it’s only natural for a 4-year-old to act like a child and cry.’
That was also a child who was separated from her beloved family in the morning of that day. Anyway, oddly enough, unlike Diana’s seeming indifference to the other children, when she turned her head, she would stare at her or hover around her enough times that her eyes met. At the time, she felt so burdened that she ran away and avoided Diana.
“My wife… I won’t honor Dana.”
Then Diana sullenly removed her hand and bowed her head. She must have thought that because she didn’t say anything, she rejected her. The tears welling up in her big eyes felt like they would fall at any moment, and her heart sank while looking at her.
“No! I was thinking about something else for a while.”
She had already turned away from this child once in the past. No matter how scared the director was, she couldn’t do that.
She quickly took Diana’s hand. Then Diana blinked her eyes rapidly, as if surprised.
‘Omg. It’s so cute!’
This time, her heart skipped a beat in a different way. She calmed her startled heart and smiled gently so that the child wouldn’t be startled. Unlike Diana, she wasn’t pretty, so she didn’t think she would be very helpful in letting her guard down.
“Shall we go wash up first?”
When she spoke to her kindly, Diana, who blinked a few more times, replied, “Huh!”
All the way to the shared bathroom, her steps were unwavering, even though the eyes were pouring from all around her, from the disapproving children to the puzzled Jack. It was an opportunity that came like a miracle to change the difficult future that awaited her and the children at the orphanage.
* * *
“Oh! No!”
She hurriedly turned off the faucet, and Diana tilted her head in question.
“Because there is not enough water here.”
Although Tesar Nursery School was connected to a water supply, it was located in a mountainous area, so the water supply was not smooth. She skilfully scooped a bowlful of water from a large basin on one side of the shared bathroom, soaked a cloth made from old clothes, and wringed it out. When her hand touched the icy water, she startled. She suddenly felt the bleak reality and felt confused, but quickly shook her head.
‘I just need to hold out for a few days.’
In her last life, when Diana had been in her nursery for about a week, Duke Elad and his knights attacked. In the meantime, if she took good care of Diana and found and exposed evidence of the director’s corruption, her future would definitely change.
“Come on, hurray!”
Once she was about to take off her dirty clothes and wash herself, Diana kindly held her arms high.
“Right.” She started stroking Diana’s hair, who was a handful shorter than me, and wiping her face and hands with a wrung cloth.
Where did she roll properly, she hadn’t even cleaned it yet, but the water ran out. As she wiped her hair with a damp cloth once more, she hesitated. It was because when she wiped her hair, which had been stained with dust and dirt and looked like a common gray, her silver hair, which was so transparent that it made her eyes hurt, was revealed.
Diana blinked her blue eyes as she stopped. Silver hair was a characteristic of the Elad family.
“They say we are stupid all the time, but the director himself is the most stupid. Anyone can see that she is a nobleman.”
She pouted at and grumbled. She flinched and stiffened her body.
“No way…”
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Translator Note:
Hello there! This is RJR. Thank you very much for reading.
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