“Tell me more. How can we alleviate the symptoms of complicated grief?”
“Oh, that’s…….”
Ready to listen, Laila urged Vilhel to continue. Vilhel began to speak.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
After parting ways with Vilhel, Laila stopped by the library to look for books about “complicated grief.”
And the result.
‘Really…….’
Laila’s trust in Vilhel’s competence increased a bit more.
The book’s list of symptoms included the following:
Loss of appetite. Lack of motivation. Lethargy.
Closing the book, Laila thought. It’s Sion.
With a slightly darker complexion, Laila left the library. The book clarified that a short period of time cannot cure complicated grief.
In fact, Vilhel said something similar. It would require consistent effort and time.
Laila couldn’t help but feel a little down, but soon she pulled herself together.
Just knowing ways to improve it is something, right?
Think positive.
In reality, Laila was quite adept at thinking positively. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have survived in such an unbearable environment.
And it’s the same now.
With determination, Laila walked briskly straight to Sion’s room.
“Sion, it’s me. I’m coming in.”
Even though she knew she wouldn’t get a response, she waited briefly out of courtesy before opening the bedroom door.
Sion was sitting on the bed, staring out the window. When Laila entered the room, he turned his gaze toward her.
Laila lightly bit her lower lip before releasing it.
Before, she would see Sion sitting on the bed doing nothing and think nothing of it, but now she couldn’t remain indifferent.
Her chest tightened as if she were suffocating.
‘I’ll definitely help you.’
That damn complicated grief—she would find a way to heal it no matter what.
Only then could she live.
With determination, Laila approached Sion and spoke.
“The weather is nice today.”
“…….”
“It’s a perfect day to stroll around the garden.”
“…….”
“…Would you like to stroll together?”
While making the suggestion, Laila didn’t expect a positive response from Sion.
It was obvious. Sion had hardly left his room, let alone ventured outside, for a week.
It would be unrealistic for him to agree to explore the garden now.
‘It’s okay if he refuses.’
Laila had her own plan. Simply suggesting going out wouldn’t prompt him to move.
But what if she piqued his curiosity? If she mentioned having something for him and left it in the garden…
“The garden?”
Laila, who had actually hidden something suitable in the garden, snapped out of her thoughts at the sound of Sion’s voice.
“Uh, yeah.”
After confirming the location, Sion fell silent again. However, rather than ignoring Laila, he seemed to be deep in thought.
After a brief silence, Sion spoke again.
“Okay.”
“Huh?”
“When are we going out? Now?”
“Uh, yeah. Now.”
Laila nodded, and as soon as she did, Sion slid off the bed.
Standing still, Laila watched him pass by her and head towards the door.
“Aren’t you coming out?”
Only after Sion opened the bedroom door and said so did Laila snap out of her daze.
“Let’s go out!”
Laila replied hurriedly and dashed even faster towards the door.
‘What was that?’
Walking out of the bedroom with Sion, Laila couldn’t hide her confusion and blinked her eyes.
They started moving, but how did this happen?
Instead of just walking ahead, Laila glanced back.
Sion remained expressionless as he silently followed Laila.
“What?”
“….Uh, no reason.”
As their eyes met, Laila quickly turned her gaze back ahead.
‘I didn’t expect us to go out together so easily…’
Laila’s head tilted slightly to the side as they descended the stairs.
Laila and Sion’s bedroom was on the top floor.
As they descended the long staircase, Laila pondered why Sion had readily agreed to explore the grounds with her.
‘Perhaps he was feeling stifled and wanted to go out? And then I happened to suggest a walk?’
Was it really like that?
She couldn’t be sure. Laila absentmindedly started to look back in Sion’s direction, but stopped herself.
If she turned around, their eyes would meet again.
It wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
Looking into Sion’s eyes still wasn’t easy for Laila.
Though in recent days, he hadn’t glared at her as ferociously as before…
Still, whenever Laila met Sion’s dark eyes, her body would reflexively stiffen a bit.
Like a mouse caught in a cat’s gaze.
‘…especially considering I had a dream not long ago.’
Laila recalled the dream she had when she collapsed after mistakenly eating the fruit from the garden.
In the dream, Sion glared at her frighteningly.
And so close.
When she woke from the dream and remembered that gaze, her heart dropped in fear.
In the dream, even though she faced that gaze, she couldn’t seem to step back or say anything coherent.
Now that she was back in reality, she wondered how she could have acted that way.
Maybe dreams were just dreams, after all.
Anyway, when she fully regained her senses, all that remained in her mind from the dream was Sion staring at her as if he wanted to kill her.
As the vivid scene from the dream came back to her, Laila shivered slightly against the chilly wind.
It was probably best not to turn around.
Laila walked on, focusing on the sense of Sion following her and the sound of his footsteps behind her, rather than looking back to confirm.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
There are three very basic, foundational things to do to heal complicated grief.
They are: regular walks, balanced meals, and steady conversation.
Laila made every effort to meet these three without fail each day.
Her efforts consisted of the following routine:
Firstly, at noon, when the sun was highest, Laila would quietly approach Sion and suggest exploring the gardens or taking a stroll.
After their walk, she would take Sion to the dining hall for lunch together.
After lunch, he would rest until dinner.
Then, at dinner time, Laila would again escort Sion to the dining hall for their evening meal together.
Finally, the much-anticipated last part of their routine.
When the moon was bright enough to illuminate the night, Laila would visit Sion’s chamber for the third time during the day.
There, they would engage in deep conversations about the events of the day.
After about two weeks of repeating this routine…
‘I feel like I’m going to die.’
It wasn’t Sion who became the patient, but Laila.
Of course, she didn’t actually contract an illness.
It just meant that she looked like it.
Laila stood in front of a full-length mirror, examining her reflection.
Dark shadows under her eyes.
Pale complexion.
Rough, uneven skin.
Eventually, Laila let out a sigh as she looked at herself in the mirror. A faint mist formed on the mirror’s surface, then quickly dissipated.
“Should I take a break?”
Laila, sinking down in front of the mirror, murmured sincerely.
The routine of the past two weeks has been remarkably smooth.
Sion, whom Laila had anticipated would resist to some extent, surprisingly complied with her without much resistance.
Thanks to this, Laila was able to arrange his daily life as freely as she wanted.
However, there was a problem.
Throughout their routine, Laila was the one who struggled the most.
First, walking with Sion.
It was torture. She had no choice.
Laila was afraid of Sion, so whenever they walked alone on deserted paths, she felt extremely tense.
She tried to pretend otherwise, but she couldn’t control her body’s reactions.
Her heart raced, and sometimes she felt a sharp pain in her stomach or chest as if she were being pricked.
After about thirty minutes of walking, Laila was exhausted. It felt as if she had been struggling in water, gasping for air, until she was finally pulled out.
Next was eating with Sion.
This, too, was torture.
Once she realized Sion was sitting across from her, food didn’t smoothly pass down her throat.
She felt like she was forcing grains of sand down her throat throughout the meal on days when his presence particularly bothered her.
In the end, she barely ate anything that day.
It wasn’t just that one day; ever since she started eating with Sion, Laila has frequently struggled like this.
