To my dear Lala,
I often dreamed of you before meeting you again in this form.
In my dreams, you were always alone and resented me…
But when I met you in reality, you were different from how you were in my dreams. And so, cowardly, I felt relieved.
There are three reasons why I couldn’t come looking for you all this time, despite you being alive.
I was scared, terrified, and worried.
I was afraid of Hildegarde, terrified you wouldn’t welcome me. And I worried that I wouldn’t be of any help to you.
All excuses, really. That’s why I’m writing this in a letter instead of saying it to you directly.
Still cowardly to the end, right?
I’m sorry.
I love you.
I hope you’re happy wherever you are.
From Esther.
Laila read Esther’s letter over and over until she had it memorized, then stored it in her bedroom.
The seasons had changed again.
“We have to make this birthday party super extravagant!”
Marie said while styling Laila’s hair. Laila, who was a month away from her 22nd birthday, asked,
“Why?”
“Because you couldn’t have a birthday party last year.”
Ah, that’s right.
Last year, on her birthday, Laila was at Liam’s estate, still getting used to her new body.
‘It’s already been a year.’
A year… When did it pass so quickly?
Just as Laila’s expression subtly darkened, Marie continued.
“Besides, this birthday party is very special.”
“Special, you say?”
“It’s your first birthday party as a married woman, not as a lady.”
“…”
“I’ll make sure everything is beautiful. But I’m worried. What if too many men fall for you when they see you at the party? The Duke might get jealous…”
“Jealous?”
“Yes?”
Laila gazed at her reflection in the mirror and changed the subject.
“How about braiding my hair today?”
“Oh, that sounds great!”
Marie enthusiastically began braiding Laila’s hair into two plaits.
Laila hadn’t specifically asked for two braids, but… she let Marie do as she pleased.
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
“Duchess, happy birthday.”
“Congratulations!”
“You look absolutely stunning today.”
“I was almost blinded when I saw you, Duchess.”
“I feel the same way. I never realized how dazzling dark brown hair could be until now.”
“When I return home, I might dye my hair dark brown too, just like the Duchess.”
“Oh my, I was thinking of doing the same!”
Laila, who had unintentionally started a dark brown hair trend in high society, smiled quietly.
‘This is crazy.’
That was her honest feeling.
The birthday party was held in great splendor, just as Marie had hoped.
As Laila raised the champagne glass to her lips, she glanced around the party hall.
The room, decorated brightly with all kinds of ornaments, sparkled, and it was filled with people dressed in clothes that matched the grandeur of the event.
As Laila surveyed the guests, she suddenly paused.
She hadn’t intentionally looked for Sion, but his profile immediately caught her eye.
“…”
Laila sipped her champagne, watching Sion.
He was standing a bit away from her, engaged in conversation with members of the royal family.
Yes, the royal family. The king’s family had attended Laila’s birthday party! And not just one or two people, but three.
Laila couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride. The status of the “Duchess of Axid” was indeed high.
“You must be so happy.”
A voice from close by snapped Laila back to reality. She turned to follow the sound of the voice.
A woman who appeared to be in her 30s was smiling at Laila.
With a bright expression, the woman spoke again.
“You’re in love living with the one you love.”
“Ah…”
“I’m envious.”
“…Thank you.”
After exchanging a few more words with the woman and others around her, Laila turned away.
Suddenly, she felt the urge to get some fresh air.
Holding her half-empty champagne glass, she headed to the nearest terrace.
Stepping onto an empty terrace, Laila placed her champagne glass on a table and approached the railing.
She took a deep breath of fresh air, then slowly bent her knees and sat down, holding onto the railing.
“Sigh…”
A sigh escaped her lips.
‘You’re in love living with the one you love.’
Living with the one she loves. That part was true.
But were they living in love?
She and Sion…
‘No! No, that’s not it!’
Letting go of the railing, Laila clenched her fists tightly.
That woman who spoke to her didn’t know.
She and Sion were not living like the ‘couple’ people imagined them to be.
She and Sion were…!
If she had to describe it, they were more like friends!
‘Yes, friends. That’s what we are. Nothing more than friends.’
Laila rested her forehead against the cold railing.
“This isn’t right…”
She muttered to herself, sinking quickly into sadness.
She had thought that if she pretended to have lost her memories as a side effect of her body changing, Sion would no longer feel guilty towards her.
So she thought their relationship would progress immediately…
But it didn’t. Against her wishes, the result turned out to be the opposite of what Laila had hoped for.
Sion, instead of growing closer, became even more cautious around Laila, who no longer remembers the past.
Cautious, if put kindly; indifferent, if stated bluntly.
To put it negatively… frustrating.
Laila furrowed her brow. She was conflicted.
‘Should I just pretend that I’ve regained my memories?’
But even if she did, it would only bring things back to how they were before her body changed…
Now or then…
“…Sigh.”
Another sigh escaped her.
It was absurd.
Why is it so difficult to freely love someone who loves me?
What on earth is Sion thinking to act so frustratingly?
His looks? Is it because of his appearance?
‘Does being pretty solve everything?’
Maybe the word “pretty privilege” should just be erased from existence…
As her mind wandered into such trivial thoughts, suddenly—
“Are you alright?”
Laila jumped, gripping the railing as she stood up quickly.
The voice was unpleasant. Just hearing it sent chills down her spine.
No way…
She turned around slowly, identifying the uninvited guest who had entered the terrace.
She swallowed nervously.
“Count Donovan?”
“Nice to meet you. It’s fate that we met like this. If you have any difficulties, would you like me to listen to them?”
Laila couldn’t believe her eyes as she looked at the man in his 50s. Why is he here?
‘I didn’t send an invitation to Count Donovan…’
There was no way she would.
Count Donovan was one of the people Laila had never wanted to be involved with in her life.
He was the ex-husband of Lady Elise Liam.
And he was also the man who had abused her in her previous life, which now only existed in memory.
Just recalling her time as the “Countess Donovan” still made her shiver.
Laila managed to hide her anger and disgust and spoke up.
“How did you get here?”
“The terrace? I simply walked in through the door.”
“…”
“And the party? I arrived by carriage.”
“…”
“Um, isn’t it boring?”
“Did you bring an invitation?”
“Well, it seems there was a mix-up.”
“A mix-up?”
“It seems the invitation didn’t reach me. This is Count Donovan speaking. It shouldn’t have happened.”
It shouldn’t have…
Laila sneered. Then she issued a command.
“I don’t know how you got in without an invitation, but please leave.”
“I got the invitation through someone else. That person couldn’t attend due to an urgent matter. And—”
Count Donovan took a step closer to Laila. Instinctively, Laila tried to back away but stopped when her back touched the railing.
“Who do you think you are, giving me orders to leave, lady?”
“What?”
…‘Lady’?
“You think you can boss me around just because you’re pretty…”
“Count Donovan.”
“That’s right, I’m Count Donavan. Do you think you can act so impudently towards me and get away with it?”
“Don’t you know who I am?”
“Who are you?”
Stunned, Laila momentarily lost her words. Seeing her silence, Count Donovan sneered.
“Seeing your unfamiliar face, you must be some country bumpkin.”
“…”
“It seems the bumpkin doesn’t understand the power of the Donovan family. If you don’t apologize immediately for your insolence, both you and your father will regret it.”
“When did you arrive at the party?”
“Me? Just a moment ago… Wait! Did you just talk back to me?”
Thank you