“You absolutely got it wrong. I was just describing how I felt at the time!”
“Really?”
“Yes, really! If I wasn’t busy training in swordsmanship every day or sparring with Enoch, where would I have time to meet men or date anyone?”
“Hmm…..”
My mom nodded, though she couldn’t quite hide her doubtful expression.
Seeing the suspicion still lingering on her face made me feel wronged, but she sighed and said something that made me realize she had something more important on her mind.
“Come to think of it, Cherry, haven’t you been neglecting social events all this time because you were so focused on swordsmanship?”
“……It’s just not really my thing.”
“Well, it’s not like you’re doing so well with your swordsmanship either, so why is this suddenly a big deal?”
Ugh. I clutched my chest in pain at the harsh truth my mom so brightly delivered. The way she said it with such a radiant smile only made it hurt more.
I couldn’t bring myself to call her out for her ‘fact violence,’ so I just quietly nodded.
“You didn’t even stay at your debutante ball and rushed off to train. You also didn’t get along well with kids your age. Don’t you think it’s time to start paying attention to these things?”
“Mom, I’m already stressed enough about swordsmanship. Do I really have to worry about this too?”
“People aren’t meant to focus on just one thing. Social activities are just as important as swordsmanship.”
“……….”
Knowing that staying silent was my only form of resistance, my mom smiled sweetly and made a suggestion.
“By the way, you received an invitation. Lady Olivia Balmore is having a birthday party and would really like you to attend.”
“……Oh.”
I thought about the group of friends I had consistently met since I was young.
Among them, Olivia was the leader and, despite my obsession with swordsmanship and lack of attention towards her, she continued to write me letters, visit for tea, and make an effort to keep in touch.
All the others had given up, unable to get through my cold indifference due to my intense focus on training.
“Since you’ve managed to keep up with Lady Olivia, why don’t you go? I’m sure she’s looking forward to seeing you.”
“…If it’s Olivia’s birthday, I’ll go.”
Maybe it was because we were getting older, but our relationship wasn’t as open and easy as it used to be.
Still, Olivia was the only girl I could call a friend.
The thought of her feeling disappointed if I didn’t attend her birthday party left me with a heavy heart.
“Great! Go and have fun. Clear your head and enjoy yourself.”
“Yes.”
Satisfied, my mom patted my shoulders.
“If it feels like you’ve broken up with your sword, try making new friends. You might discover something you didn’t realize during your time apart.”
“………..”
Taking time apart from my sword. Something I’d immersed myself in to the point it became my whole life.
Following my mom’s advice, who was stronger than anyone else besides my grandfather, couldn’t be wrong.
But I was afraid that if I put distance between myself and my sword, we might end up separated for good.
‘Don’t become boring.’
Just like Enoch said, I’m really afraid I might become boring. As I thought about that, Enoch’s empty face as he looked at me came to mind. That hollow gaze as he stared at me.
Enoch no longer smiled like he used to, nor did he show the variety of expressions he once did. It was as if Enoch had become an empty shell, with nothing left in this world that interested him except for the sword.
I wondered if it was because I had become boring.
“…….…”
My mom, who had been watching me lost in thought about Enoch, narrowed her eyes and asked,
“But Cherry, are you sure there’s no man you’re seeing?”
“Ah, I told you, there isn’t!”
After explaining at length that I had no romantic feelings towards anyone and that my feelings were purely focused on the sword, I finally managed to clear up the misunderstanding.
Even then, my mom continued listing the names of men I had any slight connection with, trying to gauge my reaction.
Really, she could be so persistent.
“Commander! You really need to go now! Do you want Duke Gray to find another reason to pick on you?”
“Let him pick on me!”
“You can’t do that!”
Finally, my mom’s lieutenant, Lawrence, came and nagged her that she needed to return to the palace. Only then did the interrogation end.
“Haah…”
I lay down on the bed and let out a long sigh. But after being honest with my mom, it became clearer what my real problem was.
“I’ve grown to hate the sword, haven’t I?”
When I was seven, at my first Royal Hunting Competition, I was captivated by that feeling I had when I first held a sword.
The sword never lied to me. The more I practiced, the more my skills improved, and it was fun.
I didn’t care that I had less talent than Enoch. I kept striving, thinking of all the things I could achieve with that sword.
‘When did it start to become too much for me?’
Was it because of the people at Emblem who cheered and despaired over my victories and defeats?
Or was it because of the social circle that made bets on the outcome of my duels with Enoch every single day?
Or maybe it was because the families in Emblem, the merchants with ties to those families, and even the atmosphere in the territories all shifted depending on Emblem’s fortunes?
There were many reasons that came to mind, but none of them felt like the definitive answer.
“Let’s train.”
In the end, I couldn’t resist and decided to get up.
Even if I didn’t pick up my sword, I planned to at least do some physical training. After running about thirty laps around the training field, I’d either find the reason or empty my mind entirely—one of the two was bound to happen.
Just as I started to get up from the bed, there was a polite knock on the door, and my dad peeked in.
“Cherry, it’s your dad. May I come in?”
“Ahaha. Why don’t you just come in?”
I patted the spot next to me on the bed.
My dad, with a smile lighting up his face, came over and sat down beside me.
“Why didn’t you come with Mom?”
“Well, since you and your mom haven’t had much time alone together lately, I thought I’d let you have some quality mom-daughter time.”
At his words, I squinted at him, imitating the suspicious look my mom had given me earlier.
“…I can’t believe you’d give up time with Mom.”
As their daughter, I knew better than anyone about my dad’s obsessive love for my mom.
When my mom’s time in the palace increased after she became the acting Duke, my dad rapidly expanded his business, eventually securing a position as a royal supplier, just so he could have official reasons to see her more often.
“Can you just think of it as me loving you that much?”
“Alright, I understand. That’s a really big love.”
I tried to respond indifferently, but my lips betrayed me, curling up into a smile.
The only thing that could rival my dad’s immense love for my mom was his love for me.
It was a subtle source of pride that only I could understand.
“Thanks for contacting Mom. Honestly, it did help lift my spirits a bit.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
A beautiful smile appeared on my dad’s face. I quickly averted my gaze.
‘Ugh. It’s too intense.’
Even after eighteen years, I still couldn’t get used to my dad’s smile, which boasted the most handsome features in the empire.
“By the way, your mom said you agreed to attend Lady Balmore’s birthday party?”
“Yes. She suggested it might be a good way to clear my head.”
“You made the right decision, Cherry. I may not be able to help you with swordsmanship, but I can certainly help you with parties.”
My dad stood up and offered his hand to me with a formal gesture.
