With a serious expression, I sat back down in my seat.
The Empress also set down her tea cup and waited quietly for my mother to speak.
With a gentle smile on her face, my mother stared into my eyes.
Unable to bear the anxious feeling any longer, I spoke first.
“Is this about mom’s current condition?”
“……Yes.”
Even though I was just sitting there doing nothing, I felt breathless.
Was it something positive or something negative? I couldn’t even guess, and that uncertainty made my lips dry.
“I don’t know how to begin.”
Mother lowered her gaze, then slowly closed and opened her eyes. Then, still looking down, she hesitated before continuing.
“Rotty, it was possible because you took such good care of everything.”
“I… I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying.”
Mother kept skirting around the important details, not quite saying what needed to be said. The Empress, seeming frustrated, picked up her tea cup again and took a sip.
“So… at that time, I knew the treatment method for this illness.”
“By ‘that time,’ do you mean when you died, Mom?”
“Yes. Although technically, I wasn’t dead.”
With that, Mother smiled faintly.
It was a smile tinged with awkwardness, but it didn’t amuse me at all. It was actually quite challenging to keep my face from stiffening up.
“Then why didn’t you treat it? Why did you leave me alone…!”
How difficult it was to be alone.
How much I missed my mother.
Emotions surged up, blurring my vision.
In the end, I couldn’t finish my sentence and just bit my lip.
Mother looked up again to meet my eyes and held my hand.
“I’m sorry, Rotty. But as you know, to cure this illness, I had to die once.”
“…….”
“After death, the toxins had to be removed. But who could do that? You were still too young, and I couldn’t trust any other physician.”
“But there must have been a way.”
“Yes, there was. That’s why I’m better now, isn’t it?”
Still struggling to understand Mother’s words, I furrowed my brow and pondered.
Mother chuckled and continued.
“Just before losing consciousness, I took medicine to seal away my memories and emotions.”
“What…?”
“If I had been reawakened by Duke Cassian, I would have lost all of my memories and emotions due to the poison. Once lost, there’s no way to recover them.”
The flood of explanations dazed me.
When Mother was called Teveroca, she had lost all memories and emotions.
But now, haven’t they all been recovered?
It’s strange. I had planned to continue with detailed tests from now on, but if the Mordheim poison wasn’t the cause, then…
“So, before the poison could erase me, I chose to erase myself first. That way, there would still be a chance to regain something later.”
“So you knew that I would be able to bring you back like this?”
“I wasn’t certain. I figured that if the Mordheim poison didn’t eat away my memories and emotions, it would relapse. I didn’t know when it might happen, but if I ever fell back into a coma… Then, Rohiriel, if you could treat me then… I had ensured that the effects of the medicine I took along with the poison would be nullified.”
Mother’s calm yet clear blue eyes enveloped me, a gaze like a sea full of countless emotions.
I spoke, unable to contain my confusion.
“So, in short, it was a gamble. With very slim odds.”
“But I believed you could handle it well…”
“What if I hadn’t found a cure? Or, even if I had, what if I hadn’t been by your side when you collapsed again? What if I had become like Duke Cassian, exploiting and persecuting you…!”
“Rohiriel.”
Mother’s firm voice silenced me, and I struggled to breathe.
My heartbeat continued irregularly, and an inexplicable sense of suffocation gripped me throughout my body.
I felt grateful and relieved that my mother had returned like this.
But behind all this, knowing the fierce battle Mother had fought alone, I couldn’t describe the overwhelming feeling.
“Rohiriel, look at me now. Everything turned out well, didn’t it? So, it’s okay.”
“If just one thing had gone wrong in the middle, neither you nor I would be here now.”
“But nothing went wrong.”
“Mother, how could you take such risks so casually…!”
Unknowingly, my voice grew louder.
Mother teasingly raised an eyebrow.
And then I realized this was my first adult conversation with my mother. Surprisingly, it seemed that my mother and I didn’t quite match in personality.
“Rohiriel, sometimes letting uncontrollable things flow as they are is also a way.”
“No, I won’t create uncontrollable situations in the first place. It’s much better to plan, prepare, and be ready in advance to achieve the desired outcome…”
That was as far as I got.
Just then, a soft voice interrupted our conversation with a knock.
“Rohiriel, it’s me. Are you inside?”
At the sound of the voice, my mother looked up at me with a small smile.
Her previously somber blue eyes regained their sparkle, revealing her thoughts.
“Rotty, it seems like another uncontrollable situation has arisen.”
“You mean Julion?”
“And there will probably be more. Don’t you think so, Psirias?”
Mother suddenly turned to the Empress, who had been quietly listening to our conversation.
She set down her empty teacup and nodded slowly.
“Of course.”
Confused about what they were talking about, I alternated between looking at Mother and the Empress, seeking further explanation, but they merely exchanged amused glances without saying more.
“Rohiriel? May I come in?”
From outside, Julion’s anxious voice called me again, still waiting for permission.
His tone sounded so pitiful that I couldn’t help but forget my earlier frustration and chuckle softly.
☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓
Tap.
Tap.
Thud.
The sound of a droplet falling from an unknown place echoed unusually loudly.
In the darkness, devoid of even a speck of sunlight, there was only one small torch burning beyond the bars.
Cold, hungry, and trembling with fear for several days now.
“Ahh!”
Chersoniet jumped to her feet, startled by a sudden tickling sensation on her leg.
Scratch, scratch, rustle.
Along with a chilling sound, a small shadow was seen slipping across the floor and disappearing.
Chersoniet’s fur stood on end, and she gasped for breath.
“Ha, ugh, I, I can’t stay in a place like this anymore…….”
Tears welled up in her eyes.
Everything ahead was blurred. It felt like an opaque version of her future, making her even more sorrowful and distressed.
“Nanny, I miss you. Nanny, Nanny, Nanny… Sob.”
What will become of her now?
Will she really face execution like this?
Or would she be taken to Razia and…
‘That’s horrible as it is.’
Would it be better to die here instead?
‘What happened to my nanny?’
Lost in the waves of her thoughts, Chersoniet didn’t notice the sound of footsteps approaching.
“Chersoniet Razia.”
The jingle of a key and the sound of her name being called brought her back to reality, and she squinted in confusion at the sudden opening of the door.
“W-what’s… happening? What is it?”
Surely, they wouldn’t execute her, the princess of Razia, without a trial.
So why is she being asked to come out now?
Her mind raced with questions, but she knew that wherever she was, it couldn’t be worse than here, so she stepped out of the cell.
“Follow me.”
“…where are we going?”
Instead of answering, the guard slowed his pace and pressed a finger to his lips.
“Quiet. Don’t make a fuss here. It’d be troublesome if that woman wakes up.”
“That woman? Who…”
Chersoniet was about to ask who would wake up and why it would be troublesome when she realized something.
She remembered the strange laughter she had often heard during her days in the dungeon.
[Come this way. I am your master, your master. Yes, yes. But how dare, how dare anyone…!]
[Ahahahahahaha! Funny, very funny! Haha! Hahahahahaha!]
[Save me, save me, Father! Father, ah…]
Spouting all sorts of bizarre words, laughing, crying, and repeating them.
When she entered this place, she had been so disoriented that she hadn’t been able to confirm who was locked inside, but despite her fear, she was curious about the owner of that voice.
‘How insane must she be for the jail guard to be this cautious?’
Carefully stepping forward, one foot at a time, Chersoniet passed by the barred window in question.
Curious about the woman’s identity, Chersoniet strained her neck to peer inside but suddenly froze in surprise.
“Ah, ugh…!”
Her eyes, which had been narrowed, widened abruptly as the woman stared back at her with a crazed intensity.
The woman’s clothes were tattered, torn, and full of holes, and she looked so grimy that one might think her skin was naturally dark.
Only her violet eyes were so vivid, as if they could chew Chersoniet to pieces and swallow her whole at a moment’s notice.
The guard spat on the ground and muttered curses, noticing the gaze.
“Damn it, why do you keep opening your eyes wide again? Come on, hurry up before it gets noisy.”
Guided by the guard, Chersoniet hurriedly moved her feet while glancing back briefly.
The barred window surely kept them apart, but she feared the woman with those violet eyes might somehow reach her and devour her.
‘She’s completely out of her mind; she’s insane!’
Having been in the same space as that madwoman until now…
Chersoniet shivered uncontrollably, her arms bursting with goosebumps.
Just before turning the corner, she glanced once more into the eyes of the woman, who this time giggled into the empty air with a vacant, dreamy gaze.
