While sorting through the belongings, the youth unexpectedly found that red blanket. It had already faded and lost its fluff, becoming an ugly piece of cloth.
At dawn, Jiang Jianming wrapped Helga’s remains in this old blanket, then dismantled a wooden plank used to build this dilapidated house, tied one corner with hemp rope, and placed his mother on it.
The youth put on a heavy, dirty, and tattered cloak, and struggled to drag the wooden board carrying the corpse with hemp rope, walking out of the small hut where he had lived with his mother for many years.
He wanted to bury his mother.
But the sick youth was also weak and powerless himself, walking unsteadily one foot after another, his pale fingers bleeding from the hemp rope rubbing against them.
Along the way, countless vagrants in the Z2 wild area cast various glances at him, pointing and talking.
“Hey, hey, isn’t that the son of the foolish big sister? The foolish big sister is actually dead!”
“I thought she had died long ago, turns out she only died now.”
Jiang Jianming remained silent throughout. He walked for a very long time, stopping to rest when he was too tired to move, then continuing on.
In this way, it took a full day and night. By dawn the next day, the youth arrived at a desolate plain on the outskirts.
As far as the eye could see, there was only vast wilderness and high sky, with a gentle breeze blowing over scattered rocks and a few weeds.
Jiang Jianming was already exhausted, and the food and water he brought were almost gone. His body swayed and he fell to the ground headfirst, passing out.
He had many muddled dreams. Gradually his whole body began to develop a fever, and several times he would wake up only to lose consciousness again within seconds.
After an unknown period of time like this, a hand shook him forcefully, “Kid, kid.”
On the wilderness, a travel-worn man and woman had walked to this wild area.
Their faces showed slight weariness but were clean, their clothes slightly wrinkled but high-end. One look and you could tell they came from afar, as different as clouds and mud from the poor people in this wild area.
Along the way, they had seen too many corpses by the roadside. Therefore, they did not even glance at this emaciated woman’s corpse, but instead bent down to push and shove the half-dead youth.
The youth had a high fever. He coughed weakly wrapped in the cloak, his hood slipping off to reveal messy black hair and a deathly pale face. After being shaken and called three or four times, he finally trembled slightly, his eyelids barely opening to reveal a sliver of unfocused black eyes.
Jiang Jianming only felt his head was about to split open. He struggled to support himself on the ground with his elbow and crawled up.
Before his vision could focus, he first let out a weak groan. Perhaps it was almost time for his chronic crystal disorder to flare up again, as every bone in his body felt like it had been shattered.
Two figures stood in front of him backlit, but the glaring light prevented him from seeing anything clearly, his vision filled with patches of black fog.
The man standing in front bent down. “Kid, we want to ask you about someone.”
The woman behind spoke in a light voice. “If you know, tell us truthfully, and auntie will give you this.”
As she spoke, the woman took out an opened cookie wrapper from her coat pocket and shook it.
The remaining four or five cookies inside made a pleasant rustling sound, and a faint sweet aroma also wafted out.
The smell of food immediately made his long-hungry stomach contract. Jiang Jianming covered his mouth as he coughed, biting his tongue to try to make himself more alert.
He was about to ask who these two travelers were looking for when a paper photograph was thrust in front of his eyes.
The wild area’s sunlight fell on that old photograph, illuminating the clear blue sky in the background.
In an instant, the youth’s pupils constricted.
A sharp pain split his spine like an axe, and fate turned into an absurd malice that gripped his throat.
“…”
There was a buzzing in Jiang Jianming’s mind, and his whole body suddenly went limp.
He slowly raised his head in disbelief.
In the photograph, a beautiful and handsome black-haired woman stood on a high platform. Sunlight poured down from the clouds like a golden waterfall, illuminating her brown eyes and ivory white skin.
Helga held a massive fluttering flag, her expression exhilarated as she raised her arm and shouted.
On the flag, a pure white dove carried a red olive leaf in its beak, wings spread as if about to fly. Even that single moment frozen in time was enough to be awe-inspiring.
The man asked. “Have you seen this lady?”
Mom had said, they had a big flag.
And a small cabin.
Tears began to fall from Jiang Jianming’s eyes as he stared blankly, “…She is not here.”
That young and beautiful female leader had already gone far away. She would forever wear the red flag over her shoulders, carry a bright lamp, and walk down the long dark tunnel until she reached that small cabin.
The door opened. Everyone in the cabin turned their heads, stood up, and excitedly welcomed their leader. They were all good people, brave people.
But here?
Here there was no gallant leader Helga, only a foolish big sister.
A foolish big sister who fought against the darkness until her last moment, dying skinny as a skeleton, dirty and smelly. Her corpse lay behind him, already beginning to smell.
Suddenly, Jiang Jianming recognized the man and woman in front of him.
Uncle Dan, Aunt Lin… Wen Dan and Jie Lin, once Mother’s most loyal followers.
Perhaps because the remnants of the White Dove Red Leaf Society had changed their purpose again, or perhaps it was simply these two people’s spontaneous act out of guilt.
In any case, they had come here searching for their former leader. Shocked by the chaos of the wild area, they were now questioning a youth curled up in a cloak.
“Not here?”
Wen Dan anxiously grabbed the youth’s shoulders, even forgetting to be disgusted by his dirty gray appearance, “Have you seen her? Do you know where she is!?”
Jiang Jianming silently lowered his head, shadows hiding the tear stains on his face. The wild wind turned into boundless sorrow piercing through his bones. He wanted to cry out loud, and also to laugh out loud.
Why…
Why did they have to come one day late, just one day late?
How could he say it?
In the hearts of the White Dove Red Leaf Society members, Helga was still so dignified and sacred.
How could he say that this withered corpse in front of them that they couldn’t even recognize, this woman who had spent years mingling with the poor and fighting for scraps of garbage to eat, this madwoman who had lost her mind to the point of abusing her child…
Was the female leader with the spirited eyes in the photograph?
“I think I saw her many years ago.”
“She left here with a child… but I don’t remember clearly, and I don’t know if that was the person you’re looking for.”
Jiang Jianming said softly. “My mother died yesterday… can you help me bury her?”
The man paused, then straightened up. “Sorry, we’re in a hurry.”
The youth’s fingertips tightly gripped his cloak, the blue veins on the back of his hand throbbing visibly.
“…My mother has passed away…”
His gaze was unfocused, his voice hoarse from fever, “I’m sick and don’t have the strength to bury her… Can you… help me…”
Jie Lin looked at the child with pity and shook her head.
She said softly to Wen Dan, “We don’t have time, Dan. If we can’t find the leader this time, we might miss the chance forever.”
“According to our information, the leader may have developed chronic crystal disorder. If it’s true, after all these years, her condition must be…”
“If the leader has unfortunately passed away, what about Ming? How long can a remnant crystal person survive in the wild area? After all, he is the leader’s flesh and blood, we have a responsibility to take him back and raise him.”
“There are too many unfortunate people in the wild area, are we supposed to help them all one by one?”
“I know that, of course,” Wen Dan said. He took the opened bag of cookies from Jie Lin’s hand and casually held it out to the youth.
“Here. Kid, take it and eat. We’re really in a hurry to find someone.”
This time he didn’t bend down, nor did he look directly at the youth. He even stepped back to avoid being entangled.
Jiang Jianming curved his lips into a smile, seeming to have come to terms with it. “It’s alright.”
He didn’t take the bag of cookies, but instead reached up to put his cloak’s hood back on.
Wen Dan and Jie Lin, assuming this child was not quite right in the head due to losing his mother, placed the bag of cookies on the ground as if giving alms. Then, without sparing another glance at this poor and lowly youth, they hurriedly left together.
Jiang Jianming stood for a long time, watching their figures disappear into the distance.
…It’s good that they missed it, he thought to himself.
The White Dove Red Leaf Society would never know Helga’s fate; and his mother would never know that the White Dove Red Leaf Society she remembered until her death was no longer as it had been in her dreams.
The black-haired youth picked up the bag of cookies and put it away, then took out a small can of oil from his bundle. He poured it over his mother’s remains through the red blanket, then lit a fire with an oil-soaked stick.
He hadn’t expected to get help in the first place, of course he had made his own preparations.
Jiang Jianming watched as the torch fell from his hand, the flames catching the oil and flaring up with a “whoosh”.
In the fierce flames, Helga’s remains began to burn, as if the suffering of these years was also turning to ash.
Jiang Jianming turned away, no longer looking at his mother’s form.
He didn’t plan to wait until the body was completely burned.
He knew that if he couldn’t get home before the night cooled down, in his current physical state, he might die on the way.
But where was home?
From now on, he had no relatives, no friends, no support, no faith, no lingering attachments or expectations for the future.
Only loneliness, illness, and the weakness and lowliness he was born into.
The Empire was his enemy, the wild area had no place for him, the world was so dark without light, and he only had a few years left to live, so…
Why keep on living?
What was the meaning of living like this?
A strong wind surged from behind him. Jiang Jianming lowered his eyes and clutched his cloak, walking forward.
Fate was unfair, the world was dark. He was as lowly as dust, and even if he felt grief and anger, he had no power to change any of it.
Living was already his only means of resisting despair.
So he would live.
Ahead, the sky was vast, the wilderness boundless.
The youth walked alone, heading towards the seam between heaven and earth.
But this road was too long, withered grass growing wild everywhere. After walking for who knows how long, the youth’s head drooped, his cracked lips exhaling scorching breaths, his consciousness gradually becoming hazy.
Suddenly, a weak tugging force came from a corner of the cloak.
Jiang Jianming looked down. Weakness and high fever blurred his vision. At first glance, he couldn’t see clearly what it was, thinking his clothes had caught on a piece of trash.
Looking carefully, he realized it wasn’t trash, but a person.
It was a child even smaller than him, lying barely alive on the ground by the suburban road, emitting a foul odor.
Using what little strength remained, she tugged at the passing youth’s clothes, making an unpleasant whimper.
Jiang Jianming crouched down, poking at the child as if rummaging through garbage, and asked hoarsely, “What do you want?”
The child shakily lifted her head slightly. Her left eye was almost rotten, oozing pus and blood. “…Hungry.”
Jiang Jianming thought for a moment, then took out the bag of cookies Jie Lin had given him earlier.
He picked up a piece, intending to feed it to this almost starved little piece of trash.
Suddenly, the little trash’s eyes flashed with ferocity. She pounced on him like a mad dog, knocking him over. She snatched the bag of cookies and in an instant stuffed all the cookies into her mouth.
By the time the little girl swallowed the last mouthful of cookies with puffed cheeks, Jiang Jianming still couldn’t get up, coughing incessantly in pain.
The little trash had used up all her energy in that burst and slumped weakly back onto the ground.
She kept swallowing saliva, staring at the youth in front of her. As far as she could remember, she had never eaten such delicious food.
Of course, she had also never met someone so easy to bully.
“Still hungry,” the little trash stretched her neck and said fiercely.
Jiang Jianming struggled to stand up. After a few seconds of silence, he asked her, “Do you have a name?”
Little trash: “I’m still hungry! Give me food, or I’ll kill you and eat you!”
Jiang Jianming’s expression remained impassive. He walked towards the girl, crouched down, and maneuvered her onto his back.
On his first attempt to stand up, he couldn’t even straighten his knees before falling, both of them tumbling to the ground.
Jiang Jianming tried a second time. This time he managed to walk four or five steps before falling. He shook his head, went to pick up a tree branch to use as a crutch for support, and on the third attempt finally managed to get the girl onto his back.
He continued walking forward.
The sickly youth with fragile bones, carrying the dirty and smelly half-blind little girl on his back, treaded on the desolate earth, walking towards the horizon where the morning star was dimming.
