With white, slender fingers holding a red, juicy apple, Jiang Jianming reached out and touched Garcia’s cheek through his platinum curls.
Jiang Jianming maintained his arm-raising posture, his eyes like a calm pool of water, undisturbed by any emotions.
Just like this, he thought to himself.
He hoped that Garcia could be obedient, take the apple, and accompany him home to spend the night peacefully.
It had been three years since anyone had celebrated with him.
However, Garcia suddenly grabbed his wrist with a bone-crunching force. Jiang Jianming winced in pain, and the apple fell to the floor, rolling twice before stopping at the prince’s shoe.
The sound of firecrackers outside gradually faded away, and inside the office behind them, Emperor Lin Ge, Chief, and Old Marshal Chen remained silent.
Garcia stared at Jiang Jianming, his eyes gradually turning red, his gaze fierce as if he wanted to tear apart the disabled human in front of him and devour them, flesh and bone, blood and all.
His Adam’s apple rolled, and he opened his mouth several times, but only heavy gasps escaped his lips. He couldn’t say anything, couldn’t say a word.
Jiang Jianming lowered his head, his black hair covering his eyes. He hoped that Garcia could accept his fate, just as Ryann had hoped he could accept his fate ——.
Don’t struggle so desperately, trying to salvage something that cannot be salvaged.
After what seemed like an eternity, Garcia finally found his voice and asked softly, “Why don’t you have crystal chaos?”
It was all about unwillingness, persistence, and the inability to face reality. All of it was contained in this one question.
Jiang Jianming looked at him, a wave of exhaustion washing over him.
The heavy bag fell to the ground with a muffled thud. He looked at the red marks on his wrists and smiled mournfully.
“Because I am also a chronic crystal chaos patient, Your Highness,” Jiang Jianming replied.
Garcia suddenly shook violently, his body tense as he grabbed onto the wall next to him and took a deep breath.
Garcia: “Did he know before he left you?”
Jiang Jianming: “No.”
Garcia suddenly looked up and roared, “That’s impossible!”
“It’s possible, Little Kaios,”
Emperor Lin Ge’s voice came from behind Jiang Jianming, her footsteps crisp on the floor. “What do you think? In this empire, it’s not easy for ordinary people to develop chronic crystal chaos——unless they actively seek death.”
Garcia felt as if he had been struck by lightning.
He was first simply shattered by shock for a second, but then he realized the implications behind those words.
Fear instantly froze his spine and blood, and the ensuing pain easily tore his heart apart.
Jiang Jianming turned around and said, “Your Majesty!”
Garcia clasped his shoulder in disbelief, “You…!?”
“He had to know, Mingming. It’s better to face it now than to suffer in the long run.”
The female emperor said as she stood at the door. She narrowed her eyes and rested her arm on Jiang Jianming’s shoulder, tapping the pale young man’s chin with her fingernail. “Tell the truth, before Ryann died…..you didn’t have crystal chaos, did you?”
Garcia felt dizzy, his fingertips trembling so much that he could barely hold onto Jiang Jianming’s thin shoulder blades.
Gods, he thought, if they really existed.
Why be so cruel, even if it’s just to favor me once, or to favor him once?
“…I’m sorry.”
Jiang Jianming however said instead. The kind of sorrow that was so thick it couldn’t be wiped away appeared in his eyes again, and he coughed softly twice.
“Your Highness Garcia, if I knew I would meet you…”
I would have never let you taste such pain.
Jiang Jianming raised his pale face, his melancholy gaze falling on the distant sky outside the window.
“But if I hadn’t chosen this path that night, nor had the courage to go to the Far Interstellar Space, I wouldn’t have met you.”
“So I have no regrets.”
He took a step forward, passed the red apple that fell on the ground, and brushed past Garcia, who had a pale face.
“I don’t regret that night, when I willingly infected myself with chronic crystal chaos using death crystals.”
****
Actually, there’s nothing much to say.
It was just a choice made under no other options.
Even before setting out, Jiang Jianming knew in his heart that if he decided to step into the Far Interstellar Space, his final destination was likely to be the Crystal Nest —— the same place where Ryann had gone.
However, the crystal particle environment there was so dangerous that even a slight mistake could cause acute crystal chaos and death for a new human. For a disabled human, it was a door to death that they could never approach.
He wasn’t afraid of death, but he didn’t like to waste his life in vain. Moreover, crystal chaos was contagious, and sacrificing his teammates or even the entire army for his own selfish reasons went far beyond his bottom line.
“Jiang, give up.”
Audrey had pleaded with him before, “It’s impossible, don’t go crazy…”
At that time, Jiang Jianming was still wearing the navy blue uniform of the military academy. He had beautiful eyebrows and eyes, and he looked like a young man, but there was already a calmness and a faint melancholy in his expression that would come later.
“What about you, Lance family head?” he smiled, “Disguising yourself as a new human, living a life like walking on a tightrope every day, knowing that once exposed, it will be catastrophic. Aren’t you crazy?”
“I…”
Audrey took a deep breath, burying her head and pressing her hands against her eyes.
“Oh, my god, I…” She shook her head repeatedly, bitter and pained. “But how can I just watch you…”
“I’ve already made a plan,” Jiang Jianming said calmly. “Using the Snow Dove to jump into the Far Interstellar Space, exposing myself to the crystal particle environment… there’s a chance I’ll develop acute crystal chaos, which would be bad luck for me. But there’s also a chance I’ll successfully develop chronic crystal chaos, and if that’s the case, I won’t have any worries.”
Audrey slammed the table and stood up, shocked and angry. “Jiang Jianming!”
She walked around to face Jiang Jianming, shaking her friend’s shoulders uncontrollably, her voice trembling. “Jiang, are you delirious with a fever? Do you even know what this means!?”
“Chronic crystal chaos? How could you even think of… after you develop the disease, your body will gradually weaken, and the pain of the disease will intensify every year. And you still want to join the military? That’s impossible!”
“You’re very likely to not live past five years, or even three years…” Audrey’s voice was hoarse, and she could barely continue. She closed her eyes tightly with force.
“Jiang, you also studied history. During those dark ages, 99.9% of chronic crystal chaos patients chose to commit suicide. Why? Because they couldn’t endure that kind of pain! Do you really want to go to the Far Interstellar Space with chronic crystal chaos!?”
Jiang Jianming smiled bitterly and covered his forehead. He turned his head in embarrassment and said lightly, “Of course not, but I’m a powerless disabled human.”
“This is not….isn’t there any other way?”
Besides his life and a little bit of comfort in the future, he had nothing else to offer.
So he put his only remaining possession on the scales of fate.
…On that day, the lights inside the Lance family mansion were on until late at night.
In the end, Audrey, who couldn’t persuade him, could only reluctantly accept her friend’s decision.
She took out a transparent crystal from a box. Its appearance was harmless, like a beautiful jade.
This was the first time Jiang Jianming saw a death crystal.
“Don’t go to the Far Interstellar Space, use this instead,” Audrey whispered. “It’s controllable, at least there’s no danger of acute crystal chaos.”
“Wear it close to your body for two hours. The first outbreak will be very painful. If you’re willing, you can do it… at my house.”
Jiang Jianming thanked her and accepted the death crystal, but refused Audrey’s suggestion.
He said, “It’s not too much trouble. I’ll take it under consideration myself.”
Regarding the rest of one’s life, one should indeed be cautious and think carefully.
Audrey grabbed a few more tranquilizers and stuffed them into the box with the death crystal, insisting that he take them.
“If you regret it, you can always put it back in the box before the outbreak, then inject tranquilizers and come back to me. Tomorrow, I’ll have a doctor wait all night.”
Jiang Jianming could only say thank you again.
The next day, he took the box with the death crystal and went to the highest mountain in the Aslan Star City.
The mountaintop would be the closest place to the stars, and he planned to make his final decision there, while also watching the seasonal meteor shower.
The meteor shower was predicted to be a once-in-decades event, and Ryann had promised to go with him.
According to the plan, they would climb the mountain together, set up camp at the top, light a bonfire, and childishly watch the stars side by side.
…Now he was the only one left, and this was destined to be a miserable journey.
But soon, Jiang Jianming realized another truth: when a person is abandoned by luck, misery does not stop there.
The next day, at the foot of the mountain.
The sky was dark with thick clouds, and rain poured down heavily.
Jiang Jianming was soaked through, panting as he stood under the eaves with his heavy backpack, looking up at the pouring rain with a lifeless face… There was faint thunder in the distance.
Why?
Why is it always like this?
The travelers who had come here to take shelter from the weather sighed.
“Such heavy rain.”
“Oh dear!… this won’t do.”
“Let’s all go back, go back.”
They quickly dispersed, but Jiang Jianming didn’t leave. He hadn’t recovered from the blow yet. At this point, he knew that Ryann could no longer accompany him.
So he just wanted to be alone, to walk and climb the mountain alone, and watch the meteor shower all night.
“……”
Jiang Jianming gritted his teeth and lowered his head, his tightly clenched fingers trembling.
Was it too much to ask for? Was this also considered a luxury for him?
Or perhaps the god of fate believed that the pressure he had endured was not heavy enough, that the torture was not cruel enough?
The familiar anger turned into a raging fire in his heart, easily burning away the last bit of hesitation.
Jiang Jianming suddenly threw off his backpack, took two steps forward, and plunged into the pouring rain. The cold raindrops crazily pounded his pale face, soaking his black hair and long coat immediately.
He took out the death crystal and tightly held it in his palm, threw away the box, and walked up the mountain path in the rain.
Could a rainstorm stop his footsteps? Could one person’s departure break his spine?
Could the three words “race is predetermined” sever all his grief and resentment?
Boom rumble….lightning and thunder.
His boots sank into the mud, and water droplets splashed everywhere.
Just a lowly disabled human being.
He was just Jiang Jianming.
He fell in the rain, hitting rocks along the way. His fingers spasmed and dug into the mud, and the grass cut his tender white skin.
The world was cold, and Jiang Jianming shivered as he supported himself against a tree trunk. He began to cough up blood, which was quickly washed away by the rain and flowed down the rugged rock crevices.
He tightly held the death crystal that was taking away his life, as if holding onto the last straw of salvation.
The distant sky was briefly illuminated before plunging back into darkness, with the sound of thunder rumbling continuously and the mountain rain intensifying.
Two hours later, the symptoms of chronic crystal chaos began to appear in Jiang Jianming.
At that time, he was curled up behind the shadow of a tree, gasping for breath as the wind battered him. Suddenly, a pain that was a hundred times worse than before directly bit into his nerves.
“Ah…!!”
Jiang Jianming’s vision went completely black, and he fell down, unable to control the agonizing scream that burst from his throat.
…So fast, but he hadn’t even reached the mountaintop yet.
This was his last clear thought. The crystal particles in his bones, flesh, and lungs began to rebel, and the pain swept through his entire body, making it difficult to breathe.
He convulsed in the mud and water, feeling nauseous and wanting to vomit. Every mouthful he spat out was blood, until he lay in the grass and mud, gasping for breath.
This is…..own…for the rest of his life?
Jiang Jianming thought to himself in a half daze and half awake state, there’s no turning back from now on, there’s only only the steep cliff ahead, with cold, pain, exhaustion, and loneliness.
His dark pupils were dilated, unable to see anything, only tears silently streaming down his face… mixed with rain, cold sweat, and blood.
He wasn’t afraid, nor did he regret, he was just very sad.
“Ry..” Jiang Jianming closed his eyes, choked up and softly called out, “Ryann…”
Later, the excruciating pain that spread throughout his body caused Jiang Jianming to have hallucinations.
He seemed to see an icy sea, with Ryann kneeling on the ice, his hand squeezing his neck and pushing him into the deep sea.
The prince’s emerald eyes were still icy and beautiful, without any emotion, and behind him was a vast rotating starry sky, the legendary Crystal Nest.
He struggled to survive underwater, his wide-open eyes reflecting the starry ice surface. He wanted to call out Ryann’s name, but the cold, salty seawater poured into his mouth, nose, and lungs, squeezing out his life.
At the moment when the suffocating pain reached its peak, he couldn’t distinguish between the deep sea and the starry sky.
The same darkness, the same coldness.
In the pouring rain, Jiang Jianming passed out completely.
The memories that followed were fragmented, but it was just a repeated cycle of waking up in pain and passing out again. From beginning to end, no one found him, no one came to save him, and he endured the torture alone all night.
In a trance, the boundary between illusion and reality became blurred, like wisps of mist that dissipated with a single blow.
He seemed to see the rain stop and the clouds disperse. The washed night sky was clearer and cleaner than ever before, like a piece of black-blue glass.
A meteor shower of crimson gold streaked across the horizon and countless brilliant colors rushed towards him like birds returning to their nests, whether it was a dream or an illusion, he didn’t know.
