DFD Chapter 5

05. How on earth did you forget me?

Summer seemed to come earlier than last year. The days were getting hotter and hotter. It had already been three days since Sejeong had an unexpected reunion with Jihoon last Friday.

On Saturday morning, after having sex with her in the car, he escorted her home. As expected, Ji-hoon already knew where she lived.

“See you at work, Sejeong.”

I was wondering what to do if he came all the way home without permission, when he waved his hand with a refreshing face, turned the car around, and disappeared.

It’s not that I didn’t imagine running into Ji-hoon while walking down the street or at a restaurant I went to for dinner. It was embarrassing, but I even practiced passing him by without panicking whenever that happened.

But the moment she actually faced him, all the role-playing she had been doing up until then became impossible to even begin.

The moment she first heard his voice, her heart betrayed her will and quickened its pace, and when he called her name like before, her earlobes burned as if he were whispering in her ear.

When he finally kissed her in the car, the terrible fever came over to her again. She couldn’t stop herself from melting and getting soaked, like an ice cream that was left outside in the hot summer.

Having sex with an ex-lover with whom you have to spend the next six months face-to-face in the office was not something that could be done with normal thinking. However, Sejeong could not push him away and ended up having sex with him.

Sejeong spent the weekend doing nothing and thinking about it over and over again. For the first time, she even felt the urge to take an unauthorized absence, but she couldn’t do that.

For now, she thought it might be better to hide within the corporate organization and not give him a chance to approach her personally.

She was honestly scared that Ji-hoon would suddenly come to her house if she didn’t go to work for no reason. Whether she had the confidence to push him away if he came to her house was another matter.

On Monday morning, when Sejeong came to work with a haggard face, the employee’s, each of them, passed remarks.

“Miss, aren’t you overdoing it these days?”

“…No its nothing like that. It’s because I’m a bit hot.”

“Oh, the weather is crazy these days. It’s so hot. Take it easy. I’m afraid that you’ll collapse.”

As I returned to my seat after roughly brushing it off, I saw a cold iced coffee on my desk. When I raised my head, I heard a slightly embarrassed tone from the person next to me.

“I bought your’s too on my way to work.”

“… Ah. Thank you.”

It was Lee Yoon-hyung who started as a new employee 4 years ago and was promoted to assistant manager this year. When he first joined the company, she was his mentor. He was her junior at work, but he joined the company after completing his military service and was the same age as her.

Nevertheless, Yoon hyung treated her with respect as a senior. He was naturally good-mannered and, above all, had a great sense of work.

In a team where communication with advertisers was of the utmost importance, his attitude shone through. He had the power to humble himself without offending others, but ultimately get his way.

It is true that Sejeong’s work became easier because of Yoon hyung, and this helped increased her trust in him, but she had been feeling strange lately. Yoon hyung continued speaking with worried eyes.

“I heard that filming on Friday was tough. I got a voucher for the R Hotel Esthetic. Do you want to go there after work? I heard the massage there is pretty good.”

He had a seriousness that was different from that of her other colleagues who only cared about passing matters, and that had been getting worse lately. Sejeong felt burdened by his consideration.

“I don’t like it when other people touch my body. Thanks, but I’ll decline.”

“Ah….”

A look of confusion crossed his eyes. Sejeong tried to keep a smile on her face, hoping that her anxious premonition was not true.

“I think production team member Kim Hanna would like it if you gave it to her.”

“Haha. I don’t want to be misunderstood for no reason. I’ll just give it to my little sister, you know.”

Yoon hyung shrugged and turned his gaze to his computer. Sejeong hesitated for a moment about whether she should subtly let him know that Kim Hanna, the head of the production team, was interested in Yoon hyung, but then left it at that.

Knowing that Sejeong was sitting next to him, Kim Hanna asked her various questions about him during the dinner.

When working, Sejeong would always see the cool-headed Kim Hanna bashfully, and secretly thought she was cute. However, Sejeong was in no position to care about other people’s feelings or love lives right now.

‘Ah! This is a surprise… .’

She unconsciously turned her head to look at the conference room, where the blinds were coolly drawn. Her eyes met with Ji-hoon’s, who was staring at her intently. And then the phone rang.

“…Hello.”

– Sejeong-ah.

The person who called through the extension was, of course, Ji-hoon in the conference room. She opened her mouth in a small whisper.

“Go ahead.”

– My car seat is a mess. You and I spilled so much when we had sex. What do I do?

“… If you have no further business, I will hang up now.”

– And you didn’t bring your panties. I found them rolling around on the floor of my car and packed them away nicely. When are you going to get them?

Sejeong’s face turned bright red.

On Monday morning, everyone was busy with work. Among the employees who were talking to clients, printing out reports with storyboards, and waiting for emails from advertisers with their faces glued to the large monitor, no one could have imagined what her phone call was about.

“It’s not necessary, so please take care of it yourself.”

Ji-hoon let out a shallow breath and laughed over the phone.

– Actually, I have it on my desk in my office right now. I’m going to masturbate with it whenever I want to have sex with you.

“…I’ll hang up.”

Sejeong barely managed to answer with a flushed face. The moment she was about to take the receiver away from her ear, Jihoon muttered and whispered.

– You didn’t want to see me at all?

Sejeong held her breath in that spot. Jihoon continued speaking softly.

– I missed you, Sejeong.

It felt like a corner of her frozen heart was stabbing. He knew her weakness very well. Whenever Ji-hoon, who seemed like he would push her hard, would occasionally reveal his true feelings to her as if he had nothing to hold back, Se-jeong couldn’t refuse him.

Because of his unusual family history, Ji-hoon was reluctant to reveal his true feelings to anyone, but Se-jeong was an exception.

The more honestly he spoke, the more Sejeong felt the wall between their hearts crumbling.

“My father cheated on my mother until he died, and my mother openly despised him for it. My mother would drink wine alone in the study while looking at pictures of my father having sex with other women. I can still remember the expression on her face as she looked at them with no makeup on. And yet, I thought it was funny that they couldn’t break up because of the group’s interests. I thought it was dirty. My father who played around with women who were like his daughter, and my mother who endured it even after seeing it.”

Sejeong felt sorry for him at some point after realizing that he had a lonely childhood and had learned how to negotiate without getting hurt before learning how to relate to humans.

“I never wanted anyone in my life. I thought I didn’t need a woman. The moment I saw you, I didn’t think about anything. I just wanted you. It was so frustrating to me that I couldn’t see anyone else but you.”

It seemed like there was no one around Ji-hoon who could understand his true feelings other than her, so it was even harder to push him away whenever he revealed his true feelings without hiding anything.

“If I could cut open my stomach, take out my heart, show it to you, and put it back in, I wanted to show you. I want you to see it with your own eyes about how crazy I am for you, I keep trembling just at the sight of you. You’d be terrified and hate it, but at least it would prove my love for you.”

The reason she didn’t hate him even though he was saying such ridiculous things was because of the seriousness in the way he looked at her. She even felt that her emotions towards him was also mutual.

“You are the only one for me. Everything I have is like an illusion, but you are the only one who is vivid.”

Sejeong couldn’t push away Jihoon who was coming at her with all his might. She wasn’t immune to him.

Just like right now.

– I feel like I’m going crazy every time I see you.

Sejeong slowly opened her eyes. Do Ji-hoon, who had become a complete man in the conference room, was staring at her with the same gaze as before.

– I feel like I’m going crazy because even though I have you in front of me right now, you’re not looking at me.

His husky voice came into her ear through the receiver.

– It’s not that I didn’t try to forget you. I tried with all my might to hate you, even though you abandoned me. But it didn’t work.

“… … .”

– No matter how hard I try, I can’t help but think of appearing in front of you again.

I could even vividly feel the trembling of Ji-Hoon’s small breath.

– How on earth did you forget me?

Sejeong closed her eyes again.

– If you need time to think because of me reappearing, I’ll give you some. That’s just the kind of person you are.

Ji-hoon’s voice trembled slightly at the end. Se-jeong couldn’t help but notice his nervousness.

– Don’t make me wait too long, Sejeong.

***

Sejeong, who had been crying, finally seemed to calm down and looked straight at Jihoon in front of her. It was fortunate that there was no one in the cafe located in the most remote alley in front of the school. If not, everyone would have seen her pitiful appearance, wailing as if someone had died.

“Did you cry all the way through?”

Ji-hoon pushed each tissue next to him towards her. Se-jeong pulled out several tissues with aggressive hand movements and blew her nose loudly. Ji-hoon was staring at her with his elbows on the table and his chin resting on them.

“Your eyes, nose, and mouth are all red and a mess.”

As he muttered softly, Sejeong looked up and glared at him.

“It doesn’t matter, so don’t worry about it.”

“I want to do that too, but your face looks kind of hot right now.”

Sejeong wasn’t that surprised anymore by Jihoon’s random remarks. No, to be honest, she didn’t have the energy to argue with him.

She decided to cut it short and get straight to the point. As she opened her mouth, which had been tightly shut, something hot surged inside her chest again. Sejeong cleared her throat aloud, took a deep breath, and opened her mouth to Jihoon.

“I am someone who doesn’t have time to date.”

“It’s unacceptable to be rejected for such ridiculous reasons.”

Ji-hoon shook his head as if he had nothing to say.

“Just listen to me first.”

“If you have any other excuses, please make them.”

He crossed his arms and stared at her with an arrogant attitude. Sejeong suppressed her rising fever and continued speaking.

“No. That kind of ridiculous reason is really important to me. Unlike others who just play around and spend 100 million won on chewing gum, I have to take care of my grandmother’s restaurant, study hard so I don’t miss out on a scholarship, and earn some extra money and living expenses through tutoring. And…”

Ji-hoon, who had been listening to her story with a dissatisfied face, raised one hand.

“Wait for a sec.”

“What?”

“Shall I teach you a simple way to solve all those problems?”

“If you’re going to talk nonsense, then just shut your mouth.”

Despite Sejeong’s persuasion, Jihoon insisted on bringing up the subject.

“I think I said it then, I’ll buy your time. That’ll be simple.”

“What?”

The same question came out of Sejeong’s mouth like a parrot. Jihoon continued with a brief explanation.

“You mean you want to meet me while I’m working part-time? You want me to use you for money?”

Sejeong stared at him intently. Jihoon’s expression wasn’t serious, but he didn’t look like he was joking either.

“You’re smart. Calculate what’s more beneficial.”

Ji-hoon stared at her intently. Se-jeong swallowed dryly as she faced his deep, dark gaze that had been familiar to her since last winter.

“…You.”

When she coughed again because her voice was not coming out well, he picked out a bottle of water from the line of drinks in front of her and opened the cap and handed it to her.

On the table were lined up all kinds of drinks that the cafe had. He had ordered them without asking for her permission, worried that she might become dehydrated because she had been crying so much.

“Drink.”

Sejeong snatched the water he offered her without hesitation and gulped it down. It was cold and dizzy, but she felt like she was coming to her senses a little. Sejeong looked at him and finally asked him her last question.

“Why do you want to meet me like that?”

Sejeong hoped that at least Jihoon would say that he liked her. If that was the case, she would pretend to be crazy and accept his confession.

It might have been really crazy to have my first love with someone like Do Ji-hoon. But I wanted to properly confirm the true nature of the emotions that strangely boiled over me every time I met Ji-hoon. He acted roughly like a bad-tempered hunting dog, but he confused her at a crucial moment.

For example, the drinks lined up in front of Sejeong right now. His attitude of saying that he ordered everything because he didn’t know what I liked was reckless and was an unrefined affection at the same time.

The feeling of his large hands trembling with nervousness as they held Sejeong’s face without even being able to kiss her was still vivid, and just thinking about it made me feel hot to the point of embarrassment.

There were a few men who confessed to her so far, but none of them made her dizzy like Do Ji-hoon. Even when she was tutoring, there were more than a few times when his arrogant face would suddenly come to mind and she would feel embarrassed.

“Answer me. Why do you want to see me so badly?”

Sejeong hoped Jihoon would take the chance that she gave him. If he confessed his love, her heart would already be inclined towards starting a relationship. It was true that the occasional softness that was revealed in his actions that seemed off-track and twisted somewhere would made her heart flutter.

She felt that it would hurt her pride for having feelings for the arrogant man in front of her that she had never felt for the men who asked her out like gentlemen, but she thought that if it was true that she was attracted to him, then she wanted to face that unfamiliar feeling properly.

Ji-hoon opened his mouth obediently, unaware of her flushed face.

“You are pretty.”

Sejeong frowned. She must have cried so much that she looked like a mess, but he must be making fun of her right now.

“You are incredibly passionate about everything you do.”

Words continued to be spoken, and I couldn’t tell if they were compliments or mockery.

“I treasured the fried egg in the fried rice. It’s very cute to eat it at the very end.”

Sejeong’s expression became increasingly wrinkled. Is he trying to say that she’s something that he wants to eat?

“When I see that kind of thing, I… .”

Ji-hoon stuck his tongue out and licked his lower lip.

“I want to have sex with you.”

A sigh escaped Sejeong’s lips. Sejeong frowned and threw the cap of the water bottle at Jihoon, who was sitting across from her.

“If you really want sex, buy a woman, you horny crazy bastard.”

I could die from annoyance at the sight of Ji-hoon easily catching the lid flying by his face with his big hand. Ji-hoon bit his lip with a small smile.

“You’re the only person I’m horny for, An Se-jeong.”

Sejeong rested her elbows on the table and covered her head with both hands. One side of her temple was throbbing violently. Only then did the commotion she had caused with Jihoon on the school campus started to feel real.

Her migraine grew a little worse as she recalled what had happened a few hours ago, when she had slapped Ji-hoon on the cheek and he had hugged her.

“Haa… I don’t know why I got bitten by a crazy dog ​​and I am in such a pain… .”

Sejeong chewed her lips and let out a dying voice.

“I have a feeling that you’re going to keep tormenting me like this until you get what you want right?”

“Correct. I don’t agree that I’m bullying you, though.”

Ji-hoon smiled brightly. Se-jeong’s face, quivering with determination, was cute. He barely resisted the urge to pull the bangs sticking out of her round forehead with his hand. Se-jeong was holding back as if she was going to say something important.

“You see, I have absolutely no intention of having sex with you for money.”

The sight of Sejeong speaking clearly, word by word, with her face as red as an apple was once again lovely. Jihoon sat up straight, feeling the blood rushing to his lower body.

“If you don’t like money, then something else….”

“Shut up, I’m not done talking yet.”

Sejeong glared at him with tearful eyes. Jihoon obediently shut his mouth.

“So from now on, don’t treat people like prostitutes. I know you’re not naturally careful, but there’s a limit to what a person can endure.”

Treating her like a prostitute? Ji-hoon barely held back his irritation as he nodded, asking if she was comparing herself to some ridiculous thing. According to Tae-hwan, if you just sit still while women are giving sermons, you’ll get halfway there.

“Don’t come by without notice. Don’t take pictures of me without permission. You’re like a stalker.”

Ji-hoon’s eyebrows furrowed. He was clearly showing that he didn’t like it, but he didn’t cut off Se-jeong’s words.

She gulped down the half-empty cold water and placed the empty bottle down on the table with a clank. The plastic water bottle crumpled in Sejeong’s slender hands.

“And I… .”

Sejeong’s heart pounded as if it was going to burst out of her chest. She had never dreamed that the day would come when she would say these words out loud. However, the person sitting across from her did not seem to be able to understand her thoughts unless she said it like this.

“I… I don’t want to kiss or have sex with someone I’m not dating. You may say I’m old-fashioned, but that’s just how I am.”

Ji-hoon’s lips slightly turned upward. Se-jeong continued her explanation with a flushed face.

“Yeah. That time with you… in the apartment… That was really impulsive. Normally, my first kiss would only be with someone I was dating.”

He looked at her with his lips tightly pressed together. Which meant that his first kiss was definitely Sejeong’s first as well. Jihoon tried to lower the corners of his lips that were splitting.

Sejeong gasped as she looked at his face, which clearly seemed to be holding back laughter. Then, she continued her speech at a length with an expression that looked as if she was about to cry.

“I don’t care if you laugh at me, but that’s important to me. People aren’t animals, so how can you get physical first? Shouldn’t you show your heart first? People can express their true feelings with words. They have the effective tool of words. So you should first ask me to be your formal date… . Hmph…!”