Copy of Resentment

Crazy

When he opened his eyes, a snowflake happened to float onto the tip of Bian Shengjian’s nose. 

“…Is it winter here?” He froze for a moment, then turned to look at Lu Shen. 

Because it was still summer in reality, both of them were only wearing short sleeves and a thin coat, which stood out particularly in this unfamiliar world of ice and snow – but it didn’t matter, no one could see them anyway. 

“Cold? Lu Shen stretched out his hand and rubbed Bian Shengjian’s arm a few times, when he felt goosebumps, he became a little nervous. “Go, let’s go indoors to warm up first.”

Bian Shengjian nodded tremblingly, and followed Lu Shen to the nearest shop first. The heat blowing on his face finally relieved the feeling that he was so cold that his toes were about to cramp. ”Damn, I was freezing to death. “

 Lu Shen didn’t speak, and silently grabbed his hand and put it in his pocket to warm it up, while looking out the window at the road covered with a layer of fine snow. Bian Shengjian stood on the spot and looked out with him. 

At this moment, the sky had already darkened, and the dim yellow street lights shone on the snowflakes floating down from the sky. At first glance, it seemed a bit romantic. 

“Speaking of it, it seems that we haven’t seen snow together yet, right?” Lu Shen suddenly turned to look at him, and a slight smile appeared on his face.

“Right?” Lu Shen pinched his knuckles. “It feels like we still haven’t done a lot of things.” 

Bian Shengjian didn’t speak, and turned his head to one side after a long time. ” …..Nonsense.”

Not only many things. If you really want to count them down, there must be at least many, many, many things. I want to ski with you, go on a date and watch a movie, climb a mountain to watch the sunrise together, or go down together after dinner and went for a walk, thinking about it- in fact, nothing else matters anymore, the main thing is to be with you, not someone else, but you.

Bian Shengjian took a deep breath, suppressing the sourness coming from his nose. “What is the task this time?” 

“Buying a cake,” Lu Shen said, “Have you brought any money?” 

“Huh?” Bian Shengjian was stunned and instinctively touched his pocket. “…Cash? I didn’t bring it.”

“It’s okay, I brought it.” As Lu Shen spoke, he took out a five-yuan bill from his pocket and waved it in front of him. 

“…Then why still ask that nonsense.” Bian Shengjian was a little speechless, but more puzzled. “Are you sure it’s just buying her a cake this time? Her resentment is so heavy, how can a cake simply….” 

“Shh.” Lu Shen suddenly raised a finger to his lips in a gesture of silence, staring out of the window. “She’s here.” 

Bian Shengjian immediately followed his gaze and saw a person slowly approaching from the snowy road with a lowered head, wearing a red woolen hat, which looked festive against the white background. “Deng Jiaqi?”

“Mn,” Lu Shen responded, “I don’t need to look for clues from her memories this time. Today is the threshold point for the conflict between her and her mother to break out.” 

“She and her mother?” Bian Shengjian’s mind suddenly flashed an image of a rebellious adolescent girl. “Is she in a rebellious period now?” 

“Yeah. “Lu Shen responded, and asked again, “Third brother, have you heard of reactive abuse?” 

“Reactive abuse?” Bian Shengjian was stunned and shook his head in confusion, “ Never heard of it, what does it mean?” 

“This simply means that one person drives another person crazy, and then pretends to be a victim to torture the victim’s spirit again.” Lu Shen said, “This method is a bit like PUA, but I personally think the former is more cruel than the latter.” 

Bian Shengjian was a little dazed by his series of explanations, and couldn’t help turning his head to look at the person wearing a red hat who was getting closer and closer to them. “You mean she was reactively abused by her mother?” 

“Mn, this is the source of her breakdown and resentment.” Lu Shen said. 

Bian Shengjian frowned, although he was still a little confused about what Lu Shen said, but since he said that Deng Jiaqi would have a huge conflict with her mother today, as long as he came to the scene to take a look, he would probably be able to understand what was going on. “Then are we just going to follow her home now?”

“Yes.” Lu Shen nodded, “but don’t be noticed by her now and don’t speak either.”

 “Okay” Bian Shengjian responded, and couldn’t help but rub his arms. “Damn…isn’t it too cold today?”

“I’ll put my arms around you,” Lu Shen immediately opened his arms. 

“How can we still walk together?” Bian Shengjian glanced at him sideways. 

Lu Shen smiled and pinched his neck, “Then let’s go… I’m just afraid that you will be cold.”

Bian Shengjian clicked his tongue twice and said nothing. The moment he walked out the door, the cold wind made his scalp a little numb. There was an urge to snatch the hat off Deng Jiaqi’s head and cover his head at this moment. “Damn…where does she live? I’m cold to death.” 

“Should be right ahead?” Lu Shen also shivered a little but luckily what he said was right. The red hat in front walked a short distance and turned into a nearby apartment building. The sound of stepping on the stairs sounded a bit dull—

“Ai. “Bian Shengjian rushed into the building after a distance, only to feel that the whole body was almost frozen stiff. He shook his arms vigorously before taking a few steps forward. “Which floor does she live on?” 

“Listen to the sound, it should be the third floor?” Lu Shen pulled him and began to walk up the floors. Sure enough, when he was almost approaching the third floor, he heard the sound of someone pulling out a key, followed by a woman’s shout after the door was pushed open. “Back?” 

“Hmm.” Deng Jiaqi responded, and then closed the door. 

“Go.” Lu Shen took Bian Shengjian and ran up to the third floor. After listening to the movement inside through the door, he carefully walked through the security door on that floor: Fortunately, the main door was a little bit farther and standing by the door, they will not be noticed by the two people who are talking inside the room.

“Shhh,” Lu Shen made a gesture of silence, Bian Shengjian nodded before holding his breath and observing the sound coming from the living room like a thief.

“Were the midterm grades released today?” It sounded like it was Deng Jiaqi’s mother that had asked.

 “Hm, I didn’t pass math this time…..I failed.” Deng Jiaqi lowered her head and said in a low voice. 

“Failed again?” Mother Deng’s eyebrows twitched immediately, “Why do you fail every time? Did you study hard at school?”

“I…..I really listen attentively to class, but sometimes the teacher spoke too quickly…” Deng Jiaqi’s submissive speech was immediately interrupted, “I don’t want to hear your explanation! If you fail the exam, you fail the exam! Are you now learning to find reasons for yourself?” Listening to the reprimand, Bian Shengjian couldn’t help but frown: Although Deng Jiaqi’s mother’s tone of voice was not too harsh, it inexplicably made people feel very uncomfortable. 

“…I know. I will pass the exam next time. I’m sorry.” Deng Jiaqi paused for a while and spoke in a tired voice. “Mom, where is the orange cake I asked you to buy today? I want to eat it now.” 

“Eat, eat, eat, all you know is to eat all day long!” Mother Deng still scolded, “Your important task now is to study! Do you know how hard it is for me and your father to feed and clothe you since childhood? How can you repay us with a good job if you don’t show some good grades now? You…”

“I know, Mom. ” Deng Jiaqi finally interrupted her exhaustedly, “I know it’s my fault that I didn’t pass the exam this time…..But I really want to eat orange cake now, have you bought it?”

“I didn’t buy it! I have to go home after work and cook for you. Where else can I care about all this?” Mother Deng raised her voice, “What kind of snacks do you always think about eating without having a good meal? Look at what you’ve become now? It’s fine if you don’t study well, and you still have to spend the whole day…..”

“Mom!” Deng Jiaqi also raised her voice, with a faint hint of collapse, “I really know I was wrong! But why didn’t you do what you promised me! I want to eat orange cake right now!” 

“If you want to eat, go buy it yourself!” Mother Deng roared out, “doing nothing at home all day! Trash!” 

Bian Shengjian stood at the door listening to the conversation between the two, and couldn’t help clenching his fists: He has experience this suffocating atmosphere when he was in junior high school, but compared to Deng Jiaqi’s way of getting along with her mother, the latter is even more unbearable. In his opinion, it is nothing more than a kind of unilateral mental torture that such a few words can involve a lot of accusations that have nothing to do with the topic. 

“I know I’m wrong, mom, I really know I’m wrong…” Deng Jiaqi’s tone was crying, and she stepped forward to pick up her mother’s wallet and began to rummage. “Then I’ll go out and buy it myself.” 

“What the hell are you doing?” Mother Deng snatched her wallet back and scolded. “We’re all about to eat, so don’t eat any cakes! Go after dinner!” 

“But I want to eat now!” Deng Jiaqi begged stubbornly, “It’s only five yuan, please mom.” 

“No!” Deng’s mother categorically rejected her request, “You only know how to be lazy at home all day long! How much do these five yuan add up to? Do you know how much money your father and I have spent on you since childhood? You don’t know how to cherish it, and only know how to spend money randomly all day long! Look at what you did in the exam this time? At first glance, you clearly don’t listen to classes at school and only knew to hang out with your gang of friends all day….”

“Chen Ying!” Deng Jiaqi screamed suddenly, tearing her hair like having a breakdown. “I just want to eat a cake, why are you scolding me like this so much! You just promised me to buy something before leaving this morning, why didn’t you! Why!” 

“Because you shouldn’t spend your family money recklessly.” Seeing Deng Jiaqi’s breakdown, Mother Deng, who had already developed a sense of anger during her speech, calmed down instead, she looked at her daughter who was almost gnashing her teeth and said calmly, “Look, there you go again, you’re starting to go crazy again.” 

“You forced me!” Deng Jiaqi screamed, but the sound in her voice was full of suppressed helplessness. 

“What did I force you to do? When did Mom force you?” Mother Deng sighed, “Jiaqi ah…..Mom just said a few words to you, and I also know that you are in a rebellious period during adolescence, but your parents are the people who love you the most and nurture you since you were young. You have to learn to be grateful…Don’t you know?”

“You have been forcing me since I was young!” Deng Jiaqi yelled, and at the same time, tears were falling, “Mom! Why are you not satisfied with what I do? You can even find reasons to scold me for everything I do? I’m really tired, don’t you know?”

“Why are you tired?” Mother Deng seemed to have seized the critical period and started shooting questions like cannonballs again, “Daughter, tell your mother what you are tired of? You are still in school and you are already complaining a lot, what will you do when you enter the society? How will you learn to get along with colleagues or your superiors? Do you know how much competitive pressure there is in society now? When you are young and tell yourself that you have worked hard, isn’t it even harder for your Mom? Do you know how long I have to work hard for you all day long? You…..?

“Enough!” Deng Jiaqi yelled so loudly that her voice sounded broken, “This is not the point I want you to pay attention to! Why do you never understand what I say? I just want to eat a cake. Why do you have to scold me with so much nonsense? I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear it!” 

Mother Deng suddenly sneered when she saw her collapsed appearance, “I just said, you didn’t understand your parents since you were a child.” 

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about anymore!” Deng Jiaqi yelled. 

“If you understand your parents, you won’t be able to say such things to your mother. ” Mother Deng sneered. Deng Jiaqi was stunned for a few seconds, and suddenly a more heart-piercing yell broke out from her mouth. The drawn-out tone even caught up with the sound of a fire alarm, directly startling Bian Shengjian. “Shut up! Shut up! You despicable woman! Shut up! Go to hell! Why don’t you go to die, old woman? I’ll be free when you die!” 

Bian Shengjian’s hand on his side trembled fiercely, and at the same time, he heard someone knocking on the door behind him, probably the neighbor next door.

 “Ah Ying, what’s the matter? Are you quarreling again?”

Mother Deng was stunned for a moment and immediately walked over to open it. Bian Shengjian subconsciously shrank to the side before realizing that the woman couldn’t see him. “Ah, you don’t say, you see, she is going crazy again.”

 The neighbor was led into the living room by Mother Deng, and saw Deng Jiaqi, who broke down and screamed, spoke in a tone with a bit of excitement and curiosity, “Ah Ying…what’s wrong with her?” 

“What else can we do? Simply arguing with me for a small matter, and now scolding me to death, “said Mother Deng with a sigh.

“I just want you to die! Hurry up and die!” When Deng Jiaqi collapsed, she reached out and pointed at her, roaring and couldn’t help but jump up in place, “What thing did you promise me from childhood to adulthood that you will do? You scammer! Liar!”

“Jiaqi,” the neighbor was finally taken aback by her crazy appearance, and tried to comfort her, “Don’t talk to your mother like this…..You also know that being a parent is really not easy, and you still go against your parents like this, it’s so disrespectful.”

“She drove me first! She drove me crazy first!” Deng Jiaqi yelled in despair, pulling her hair with her hands and closing her eyes. “All of you are forcing me!” 

Bian Shengjian was stunned as he saw all of this, while Mother Deng, when seeing her daughter screaming and having a breakdown, was very calm. In comparison, she really seemed to be the “victim”, and Deng Jiaqi, who was full of vicious words, was the “bad child who was not filial to her parents”. 

Reactive abuse. The word flashed in Bian Shengjian’s mind again, and this time he finally understood the horror of this kind of psychological abuse. 

It’s so pathetic…..and it’s really terrible. 

“You all should go to die, you all should just go die..” Deng Jiaqi lowered her head and pushed away the two people who stood in front of her, hot tears fell to the ground bit by bit. 

“Where are you going?” Mother Deng tugged at her arm.

“It’s not up to you!” Deng Jiaqi waved her hand fiercely, and rushed out of the door. Shengjian and Lu Shen also quickly retreated towards the door, but before leaving they could still hear Mother Deng sighing and complaining to the neighbor who joined in the fun. 

“I’m sorry for showing you a joke……but my daughter has had some problems since she was a child, and oftentimes, she would go crazy.”

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