Copy of Resentment

Struggle

Bian Shengjian hugged the woman with a tear stricken face tightly which made her so shocked that she even stepped back several steps before she could steadied herself. The whole person was greatly frightened.

 “Ah! You… Who are you?”

Bian Shengjian gritted his teeth and didn’t speak, and finally let go of his hold when she slapped his arm in a panic for the third time.

 “I…”

“Who are you?” 

The woman stared at him in horror, her whole body was trembling with an abnormal frequency.

“He’s your son, auntie.” Lu Shen said softly.

“My son? Where did I get such an old son?” 

Qin Wei fixed her gaze on Bian Shengjian’s face, but she became a little lost for a while. This child’s facial features… do look a lot like her.

“I’m sorry, my son is only ten years old, are you mistaken?” Qin Wei said, took out a tissue and pressed the corner of her eyes, trying to pass them by.

“When I was three years old,” Bian Shengjian suddenly said, “Once when I was jumping on the bed in winter, my forehead bumped a corner of the bedside table, and blood flowed all over the floor. “

Qin Wei’s expression instantly became a little stiff.

“Look, it’s here.” As Bian Shengjian said this, he lifted his scattered hair on his forehead, pointing to the light scar that couldn’t be seen at all if one didn’t look carefully, and then continued to say, “I still remembered when father first started his business, he could only take us to live in the staff dormitory of a friend’s company. The building was short and dirty, and the old woman next door never flushed the public toilet after using it. You can’t help arguing with him every three days, and because the house was short, the clothes hanging on the balcony were always damp, and there were also mildew on the walls…Therefore, when you took me to repaint the walls yourself, I stood under the ladder and handed you the brushes…do you remember?”

“You…you…” Qin Wei covered her mouth with one hand, and tears fell out almost instantly. “How do you know this? Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Bian Shengjian, and I’m your son.” Bian Shengjian looked at her and replied.

“Auntie, I know it’s hard for you to believe it now, but the two of us… come from the future.” Lu Shen added, “We come from eight years later.”

“Ah!” 

Qin Wei shouted in surprise, especially when Lu Shen passed his hand through the lamppost on the side of the road in front of her, and her feet in high-heeled shoes immediately stumbled, and she was about to fall over.

“Be careful!” Bian Shengjian immediately supported her and never took his eyes off her face from beginning to end. He was afraid that if he didn’t take a second look this time, he would never see her again in his life…

“.. are you really my son?”

Tears rolled down from Qin Wei’s eyes. She fixedly looked at this tall and handsome young man. 

But what he just said was true, and that scar…..

“Let me see…let me see again, okay?” 

Qin Wei reached out to hold his face with trembling hands, almost looking closely at the tiny scar and Bian Shengjian’s eyes that were trying to hold back their sadness.

Those eyes…really exactly like hers.

Bian Shengjian let her hold his face without saying a word. Apparently, Lu Shen felt the strong and complex emotions coming from him, like a child who had not eaten sweets for a long time that suddenly got a candy.

“Are you really my son? Does my son really look like this when he grows up?” The woman’s two thin lips kept shaking, and she kept stroking Bian Shengjian’s face with her slender fingers, “My son really looks like this …”

“Mom.” Bian Shengjian’s voice was a little hoarse, “There are many people here, let’s find a place to talk.”

“Auntie, others don’t see us except you.” Lu Shen said.

“Really?” Qin Wei glanced at Lu Shen with tears in her eyes, and couldn’t help but ask, “Then how did you two……how did you come here? Am I dreaming?”

“This is not a dream.” Bian Shengjian gently grasped her wrist. Her skin was as delicate and smooth as before, with warmth. “It’s just that I miss you so much that I came back to see you.”

The three found a small kiosk in the park with relatively few people and sat down. Although the expression on Qin Wei’s face still somewhat hadn’t recovered, she kept holding Bian Shengjian’s hand tightly, and it took a long time before she spoke a word softly. “Son.”

“Mom, what’s the matter?” Bian Shengjian looked at her, and every word he said felt like a choke in his throat. “I’m here.”

“You look like this now, are you already eighteen years old?” Qin Wei’s eyes unconsciously became a little gentle. “Did you really travel through time and space?”

Speaking of the words “travel through time and space”, Bian Shengjian was a little tongue-tied for a moment. It was indeed traveling through time, however, only the soul can travel through and go back. 

“Hm.” Bian Shengjian held her hand tightly.

“Are you living happily at present?” Qin Wei said with red eyes again, “Has anyone bullied you? Were you able to eat three meals a day and wear warm clothes?”

“Yes.” Bian Shengjian paused, but only answered two of the questions. “No one bullies me, they dare not, and father’s business has also been successful. Our family is very rich now, and we have a lot of money.”

“That’s good, that’s good…” Qin Wei reached out and wiped her eyes. “Actually, it doesn’t matter if you have money or not, as long as you live happily.”

At the end, she suddenly reacted again, and the strength of holding Bian Shengjian’s hand suddenly increased. “Son, how are you doing now? Don’t lie to Mom.”

“I’m now…” Bian Shengjian was silent for a while before nodding, “I’m doing well.”

“Really?” 

Qin Wei’s eyes were full of worry, while Lu Shen looked at the beautiful woman in front of him with emotion, who had already accepted the fact that her son came from eight years later in just one hour, with manners and actions full of maternal brilliance.

Sure enough, she was a close relative of Bian Shengjian by blood, and some specific qualities have long been passed down to his person: such as kindness and tenderness from the bottom of his heart.

“I’m really doing well, Mom, don’t worry.” Bian Shengjian lowered his eyes slightly, trying his best not to think about the things that happened in the past. But even if he could hold her hand and sit face to face with her at this moment, there was still a dull pain in his heart.

There was nothing crueler than obtaining something and then losing it afterwards.

“Son, do you know why your father and I chose to name you like this?” Qin Wei reached out and stroked his hair gently. “He and I, in fact, only want you to be a simple and happy person, and to live this life peacefully.”

Bian Shengjian looked at her and did not speak.

“Mom.” Bian Shengjian said slowly after a long time. “What does bipolar disorder mean?”

Qin Wei’s expression froze, and the whole person suddenly became flustered. “You know? I…”

She took a deep breath before trying her best to stabilize her mind under Bian Shengjian’s gaze, and said in a guilty tone, “I’m sorry, son.”

“When did it start?” Bian Shengjian asked.

“For a while, I just thought I was in a bad mood at first…” 

Before Qin Wei finished speaking, Bian Shengjian interrupted her. “Then why don’t you cooperate with the treatment?”

“I…I don’t want your father to worry.” Qin Wei reached out and wiped the corners of her eyes, “and you’re still so young…”

“Then you should accept the treatment and take medicine!” Bian Shengjian’s voice couldn’t help but rise up, and he couldn’t help yelling under Qin Wei’s stupefied gaze. “Don’t you know that if you don’t cooperate with the treatment, you will eventually kill someone in the end!”

“Shengjain!” Lu Shen also roared, and under Qin Wei’s terrified gaze, he tugged at him hard. “Stop talking!”

“Why!” Bian Shengjian’s eyes were red, but he still yelled. “Tell me why!”

“I’m sorry son, I’m sorry…” Qin Wei’s whole body trembled, “I asked the doctor before, a series of treatments for this disease will cost a lot of money, but as one of your father’s projects is running to an important stage at present……its funding cannot be cut off…”

“Fuck! What kind of shit project can be more important than you!” 

Bian Shengjian’s voice became hoarse in the second half of the sentence, and his eyes were blurred: “Why can’t you just cooperate with the treatment…”

“I’m sorry, son.” 

Bian Shengjian only heard this sentence in reply.

Qin Wei was about to say something, but the phone in her bag suddenly rang. Just when she turned her head to answer the phone, Bian Shengjian suddenly felt a grip on his shoulder, and Lu Shen’s voice hit his eardrum hard. “Remember our agreement, don’t reveal too many other things to her now…Besides, no matter what you say, the result will not change.”

“Fuck it, then I’ll change it!” Bian Shengjian gave him a shove, “Do you just want me to watch my mother die…”

Bian Shengjian suddenly couldn’t talk. That moment, he gave Lu Shen a deep look. It took him a few seconds to realize that this was the ability that Lu Shen once said he possessed.

Mind control…?

“Shh,” Lu Shen looked at him, “If possible, I don’t want to manipulate you to do anything, but only if you listen to me.”

Bian Shengjian glared at him fiercely before finally nodding for a long time.

“Sorry, son,” Qin Wei put down the phone with a hesitant expression. “There is… another you waiting for me at home.”

“Another me?” Bian Shengjian was stunned before he reacted, and felt a little amused. “Is it that little brat?”

“What little brat, wasn’t that what you were like when you were young?” Qin Wei also laughed and said, “Then how long can you stay here?”

“Not long, maybe we’ll be gone today.” Lu Shen said.

“Don’t listen to his nonsense, I can stay as long as I want.” Bian Shengjian glanced back at him, and then said, “Mom, listen to me, you must go to the hospital tomorrow, okay? What I said is a must!”

Qin Wei was stunned for a while, and then nodded after a while. “Okay, I know.”

“By the way, if you came here and you are now eighteen, what are your father and I doing in that time period?” Qin Wei suddenly remembered this important question, and her delicate eyebrows were furrowed. “You child, why did you come to the past to find me? Your dad and I should be worried to death by now!”

“I just came back to tell you to cooperate with the treatment,” Bian Shengjian looked at her, “because this matter is very important.”

“I see. Mom and your dad will go to the hospital for re-examination tomorrow.” Qin Wei stretched out her arms, hugged him, and gently patted his back twice. “Okay, no matter what, you should hurry up and go back. Mom is very satisfied seeing the adult you now… Not to mention that you grow up so handsome, there must be many girls who like you.”

“Mom, actually I…” Bian Shengjian sniffed lightly, then said after a while. “I don’t like girls. “

“Don’t like girls?” Qin Wei was stunned then smiled. “Maybe you have not met that girl that would make your heart beat faster yet?”

“No.” Bian Shengjian lowered her head, “I don’t like girls.”

Although he wanted to keep it a secret, he finally had the chance to see her mother again, and Bian Shengjian still longed to see her reaction upon knowing about his sexual orientation.

Whether it was criticism or anger, he wanted to know.

“You don’t like girls? What do you mean…” Qin Wei watched for a while before finally reacting, but to Bian Shengjian’s surprise, her reaction was much calmer than what he had imagined.

 “I know now, so my son likes boys?”

“Hm.” Bian Shengjian was a little afraid to look her in the eyes.

“I see,” Qin Wei reached out and held him again, “Thank you for telling mom.”

“Mom, are you… disappointed with me?” Bian Shengjian said with his eyes closed.

“I’m a little surprised, after all, it’s going to be hard for two boys to be together,”

Qin Wei’s tone was soft, but her eyes were firm. “but Mom respects your choice, and I also believe that my son will be able to handle emotional matters, no matter what others think.”

“Hm.” Bian Shengtong’s tone was nasally.

“Whether it’s a boy or a girl, Mom just wants you to be happy.” Qin Wei said, then straightened up slightly and kissed Bian Shengjian’s forehead. “Just like your name, you can be a simple and happy person.” 

“I know.” Bian Shengjian’s tears slipped out, “Mom, thank you.”

He had lost count of how many times he had already shed tears.

*****

Watching Qin Wei disappear at the gate of the park, Bian Shengjian turned his head as if waking up from a dream.

 “Aren’t we going to follow?”

Lu Shen didn’t say a word, and looked at him with a heavy gaze.

“What’s wrong?” Bian Shengjian frowned.

“I’m afraid you won’t forget it,” Lu Shen said softly, “Shengjian, I’m afraid you won’t forget it.”

Bian Shengjian knew what he was referring to, therefore he lowered his head and gritted his teeth.

“When?”

“Tonight.” Lu Shen said.

“What?!” Bian Shengjian raised his head immediately.

“Tonight,” Lu Shen looked at him, “the thing you said will happen.”

Bian Shengjian didn’t speak any more, he wanted to run forward, but his legs seemed to be frozen and he couldn’t take another half step.

“Lu Shen!!” Bian Shengjian yelled, “I can save her! I can save her, right!”

“…Sorry.” Lu Shen said in a low voice, “We can’t change the final ending.”

“Why didn’t you tell me just now! She’ll quarrel with my dad when she goes home, and then she’ll die, won’t she!!” Bian Shengjian couldn’t move, and the blue veins on his forehead jumped a few times. “I just want to stay with her for one more day! Can’t I just stay with her for one more day?!”

“Shengjian,” Lu Shen looked at him, his eyes were very deep, as if reflecting the galaxy floating with nebulae. “Do you know what your mother’s resentment is?”