Copy of Resentment

Frank

“You…what are you doing!” 

Bian Shengjian was shocked for a few seconds by the unexpected hug, and subconsciously wanted to break free, but Lu Shen’s hands on his waist were very tight. He tried a few times but was without success.

“You fucking let me go!” Bian Shengjian roared in a low voice.

Lu Shen didn’t speak. He only closed his eyes and placed his chin on Bian Shengjian’s shoulder, and whispered, “Let me hold you for a while…”

“Let go!” Bian Shengjian slapped him hard on the back. “You are crazy!”

Lu Shen snorted lightly, but his hands tightened even more.

The distance between the two was very close. Even though they were still separated by two thick coats, Shengjian could still feel Lu Shen’s heartbeat in this hug, and…he frowned.

Lu Shen was trembling.

“You…” He hesitated for a moment, then grabbed Lu Shen, and pushed him back mercilessly. “If you have something to say, let me go first.”

Lu Shen released his hold and handed the bunch of lilies that were almost squashed. “Here.”

Bian Shengjian didn’t answer, and only quickly took a few steps back and stared at him. “How on earth did you find this place?”

“Our hearts are linked with each other.” Lu Shen’s face looked pale, but his smile was bright. “I came here after I smelled the fragrance of your body.” 

“What…” Bian Shengjian hurriedly pulled his collar and sniffed himself, and suddenly got chills. “Fuck, are you perverted?”

“Third brother.” Lu Shen withdrew his smile and asked Bian Shengjian before frowning, “Do you want to see your mother?”

Bian Shengjian suddenly froze.

He slowly turned his head and glanced at the tombstone not far away, his mind blank for a moment. “…what do you mean?”

“If you want to see her,” Lu Shen said, “then tell me what happened to you before.”

“Can you really take me back?!” Bian Shengjian finally reacted, but the joy that surged to his heart sank in an instant. “How is it possible, I don’t have resentment on my body, and I am not dead, how can you take me back?”

“No, this resentment is not yours,” Lu Shen said softly, his eyes drifting forward. “It’s hers.”

“My mother?” Bian Shengjian’s voice suddenly rose. He grabbed Lu Shen’s arm and pulled him a few steps forward, lowered his voice and seethed, “Lu Shen, I’m warning you, this is my mother’s tomb, don’t talk nonsense here!”

“I’m not talking nonsense,” Lu Shen looked at him firmly, “Won’t you believe me?”

“I can never trust you again in my life!” Bian Shengjian endured and endured, but still shouted, his eyes turning a little red. “I still don’t know whether what happened before was a dream or a reality! These days, when I open and close my eyes, I always see Huang Xiaomei’s face! And her mother! Can you understand that feeling!”

Before Lu Shen could speak, Bian Shengjian shouted again at the tip of his nose, “Don’t spout nonsense! You’re just using me! You’re just fucking using me!”

“I don’t know what a spiritual body is! I don’t know why something like you exists!” Bian Shengjian reached out and grabbed Lu Shen’s collar, almost screaming his lungs out. “But how dare you say something like that to my mother? I’ll rip you apart!”

“The source of resentment does not necessarily come from resentful spirits itself.” Lu Shen whispered. “It may also be attached to a certain item…”

“Shut up!” Bian Shengjian didn’t loosen his hand on his collar: “How could my mother have resentment! How could she become that disgusting thing!”

“As I said, the source of resentment is not necessarily only on the resentmentful spirits!”

This time, Lu Shen’s voice also went up. “However, your mother’s resentment is attached to her tombstone!”

Bian Shengjian’s grip loosened subconsciously. “What did you say?”

“I can see and feel it.” Lu Shen coughed a few times, “I’ll ask you again, do you want to see her?”

“Really…..really?” Bian Shengjian stared at him, his tone trembling a little. “You’re not lying to me?”

“If I lied to you, I deserve to be whipped.” Lu Shen raised his palm and pointed it up, “But the premise is that you have to tell me what happened to you before first. “

Bian Shengjian was silent for a long time. Finally turned around and walked towards the tombstone step by step, then crouched down and slowly hugged his head in his arms.

Lu Shen gently placed the bunch of flowers beside the monument, stared at the black and white photo for a long time, and smiled. “Your mother is very beautiful.”

“My mother…” Bian Shengjian’s voice is a little hoarse, “she was killed by my dad. “

Before Lu Shen could speak, he lowered his head and smiled softly, “Isn’t it funny? My father killed my mother.”

Lu Shen stretched out a hand and pressed it on his shoulder with strength. “Shengjian.”

“I…” Bian Shengjian seemed to be in an unknown state, he reached out his hands and grabbed his hair, his expression was full of confusion and pain. “I can’t forget…why can’t I forget… .”

“You said that the Soul Bell would evoke the most painful memories, right?” Bian Shengjian closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Yes.” Lu Shen looked at him, and his expression became more worried. “What did you see that night?”

“A knife,” Bian Shengjian said with his eyes closed, “a knife dripping with blood.”

“I saw him kill her, why did he kill her…” Bian Shengjian’s tone was very low, “she bled a lot, I haven’t had time to ask her if it hurts…”

“Don’t think about it.” Lu Shen took a deep breath, squatted down and hugged him tightly. “It’s not your fault, don’t think about it.”

“I don’t know, I don’t know anything.” Bian Shengjian still closed his eyes. Those memories entangled in the deepest part of his heart were forced to be picked up by the tip of the knife, and that even the roots were dripping blood. 

“They said my mom was mentally ill and went crazy a long time ago.”

“Hm.” Lu Shen replied in a low voice.

“The police said my mother was mentally ill!” Bian Shengjian roared, “they said my mother wanted to kill my father! As a result, my father accidentally stabbed her when she went to grab the knife! But how can I just believe that!” 

“She can’t be mentally ill…” Bian Shengjian murmured. “She is very gentle. She hugs me when we go to bed at night, pat me on the back, and sing to me. How could she be mentally ill…”

“Don’t think about it, I already know.” Lu Shen patted his back lightly. At this moment, he could feel that Bian Shengjian was as sad as the loyal dog Hachiko.

“When I opened the door after arriving from school that day, I saw my mother lying on the ground, and my father holding the knife in his hand.” Bian Shengjian’s breathing became rapid. “The knife…it…”

Lu Shen stretched out his hand and pinched his chin. He noticed that Bian Shengjian’s pupils were out of focus, as if covered with a layer of fog. Below was his bitten lip, the original light red had faded to white, but the surface was moist.

“I know…I know it all…”

In the end, he didn’t dare kiss him. Lu Shen could only hug him tightly. “Shh…don’t think about it.”

“I’ve told you all. Take me back, take me back please?” Bian Shengjian’s tone was full of fragility that didn’t match his own temperament. “I just want to see her again, I just want to… “

“Okay.” Lu Shen took a deep breath, “I promise you.”

“But we have three rules we need to abide by.” Lu Shen stroked his hair lightly, “First, all actions must follow my advice, second, we cannot change the course of the past without authorization, third…”

“You can’t change the final result of death.” Lu Shen said, “and because the operation itself violated the regulations, everything after entering is a variable, and you must stay by my side at all times.”

“Okay.” When Bian Shengjian raised his head again, his eyes had finally returned to clarity. He stared at Lu Shen closely, like a drowning man grabbing the last straw. “What should I do now?”

“Grab my hand.” Lu Shen said softly.

Bian Shengjian held Lu Shen’s outstretched hand without hesitation. His hand was a little cold, while Lu Shen’s palm was dry and warm.

“Your task this time is to see your mother for the last time.” Lu Shen slowly tightened his fingers, “and say goodbye to her.”

“Hm.” Bian Shengjian looked at him. The expression on his face had already recovered, as if all the fragility just now seemed to be only an illusion. “Lu Shen…don’t lie to me, if you dare lie to me again, I will kill you.” 

“The hook is hanged, and it cannot be changed for a hundred years.” Lu Shen hooked his little finger lightly, and said with a smile, “As I said, I will never lie to you again.”

(t/n The hook is hanged, and it cannot be changed for a hundred years-pinky swear)

After saying that, Lu Shen stretched out his other palm and slowly pressed it forward on the tombstone, as he felt its cold surface.

He closed his eyes.

Bian Shengjian watched helplessly as a cloud of white light rose from Lu Shen’s palm and quickly spread along his wrist until it reached the connection between his and Lu Shen’s palms.

“Do you believe me?” 

Before the familiar dizziness came, Bian Shengjian heard Lu Shen ask in a low voice.

“..I believe you.”

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