Copy of Resentment

No return (part 1)

It was getting dark, and the wind on the street was howling. Despite the fact that it had been a long time since autumn, the heat, combined with the sound of one or two cicadas, is irresistible, and the heat raises fine dust on the road and fans the pedestrians.

The night market’s lights had been turned on for quite some time. People flocked to the streets and alleyways to grab a bite to eat. Those who couldn’t sit at the door’s table crowded onto the steps and crouched. A bowl of hot and sour noodles was served to the diners.

It was not until late at night that the crowd gradually dispersed, leaving behind the food residues and bamboo sticks scattered everywhere, and the grease soaked the ground turning it black and shiny. A middle-aged woman with a greasy face complained and splashed water on the ground to wash off the stains, while she didn’t forget to turn her head, hands on her hips and scolded fiercely.

“Hurry up! Lest the little bastard get up and make trouble with me later!”

“I know, I know! What are you yelling at me after a tiring day!” The man in the shop answered, weighed a rag and threw it on the table; “hard labor!”

“You…” She was about to chastise the man when she suddenly caught a glimpse of a boy sitting on the steps not far away, leaning against a suitcase at his feet. His back looked very lonely.

“Hey, Old Li,” the woman whispered, “look at that child. Did he run away from home?”

“What?” Old Li wiped his hands, straightened his waist and glanced at the said boy, then frowned: “It seems like… Why don’t you go and take a look? It’s almost three o’clock, and everyone has returned home early. Who would be wandering around in this street if they’re right in the head?”

“All right,” the woman said as she loosened her apron and took two steps forward, only to notice that the boy quickly turned around and peered at her with vigilance. In the yellow street lights and the progressively thickening night, his face was a bit blurred, but she could still notice that his facial features were very straight, his skin color was very white, and his eyes were narrow and somewhat drooping. Except for his unfriendly eyes, he did not appear to be a child from a typical home at first glance.

“Child, you…Aren’t you going home this evening?” she asked, her voice softening as she wiped her hands nervously over the corner of her garments.

Bian Shengjian was taken aback for a moment before standing up and saying, “I’m sorry, was I blocking the way?”

“No, no!” the woman exclaimed hastily, and she couldn’t help but be astounded as the boy rose up.

This kid is really stunning!

“Oh, then I’ll sit here for a bit,” Bian Shengjian said, his eyes a little wayward, which made the woman’s heart soften more: “It’s not safe for you to be here at night. Are you from out of town? Where are your parents? If you don’t have a place to go, Auntie can help you find one. Don’t squat there, okay?”

“Thank you, but please don’t bother.” Bian Shengjian’s eyes finally fell on her face, the corners of his lips curved upwards and attempted a smile, but his eyes remained dark: “I’ll leave right away.”

“You really don’t need this auntie to find you a place to stay? The hotel nearby isn’t expensive for one night!” The woman saw him turn around and walk away without hesitation. She continued to shout, “Then you pay attention to safety!”

“All right, all right. Do you think he looked like he was short on cash?” Lao Li approached her from behind and patted her on the shoulder, saying, “OK, don’t worry so much about other people’s affairs. I reckon that a young master of which family came out on a whim to experience life.”

“Hey, it would be great if our son grew up to be as good-looking as he was.” The woman turned around reluctantly after seeing the man pushing his suitcase and disappearing at the corner of the street, “Don’t you think so?”

“Come on, he is both our genes combined. It would be fortunate if that kid got to marry a daughter-in-law in the future.” Lao Li said.

“Go to hell! Is there a father such as you?” The woman berated and slapped him on the shoulder.

The street finally fell silent except for a couple of weak sounds in the distance.  When a lengthy whistling of a Harley ridden by a boy blasted the street so loudly that even a dog couldn’t care to bark.

Bian Shengjian sat down in a little flower bed once more. There was no one else around to bother him. He could even hear his own heartbeat since it was so silent.

The breath he had just released when the night breeze blew all the way down disappeared the instant he sat down, and the dismal and oppressive feelings wrapped themselves around layers rose from his heart. He stood up, and his entire form appeared to tumble backward into the blackness of the night, unable to get up even with a single kick—

“I don’t understand why you always want to solve problems with violence! Well? Tell me why!”

This man, who is his biological father, is yelling at him at an unheard-of decibel level, yet Bian Shengjian has had a rare talent since he was a toddler. As long as it is something he does not want to hear, regardless of what other people say. He will let words in his left ear and out of his right ear.  Which flows more freely than a bamboo basket carrying water. 

“I’m not against any of the bands you used to put together with your pig and dog friends… But this time you’ve gone too far! I’m so disappointed!” Bian Jianhua said, staring at his casual demeanor, he couldn’t help but slap the table fiercely.. “Are you listening? Have you ever considered what you will do once you are expelled this time? Which school will dare to ask you in the future?” 

“Oh,” Bian Shengjian said without raising his head, as he alternate his legs from left over the right one to right over the left one, continue to painstakingly peel the little orange in his palm and carefully removing the white silk from the orange segments before slowly cramming it into his mouth and eating it. “Then I won’t go.”

“What are you talking about?” Bian Jianhua stared at him. “What are you going to do in the future? Continue to play your music? Can you feed yourself by writing your broken songs? Huh?”

Bian Shengjian forcibly swallowed the orange in his mouth, and finally stood up facing the two eyes that were about to burn through him: “So you also think that the fight was my fault from beginning to end.”

“Then who else could be at fault?” Bian Jianhua finally calmed down when he said that, his heart trembling as he saw the disappointment in his son’s eyes, and his tone softened: “Dad  knows you also want to help others, but you were too heavy-handed… I went to see the boy who was only hospitalized yesterday morning, and the doctor said that his current situation is precarious. I don’t know if it will have some effect on him in the future”

“Good for him.” Bian Shengjian sneered.

“You!” Bian Jianhua clenched his teeth and stifled his rage once more. “Forget it; bargaining there was actually rather simple; I’ll negotiate further for the compensation pay with the parents later, but your school…”

“Don’t,” Bian Shengjian said as he reached into the fruit dish and peeled another orange. “That school is not just filth, but is also a brainless school; if you have money, you can’t wait to trample on other people’s heads and walk sideways; It’s disgusting.”

“I know, but you have to finish high school; if you truly enjoy music, Dad can send you to a foreign conservatory for further study…” After Bian Jianhua’s outburst, the entire person looked exhausted and sat down near the sofa: “Alas, what should I do now?”

“I’ll drop out of school and go out on my own.” Bian Shengjian squeezed the orange and said, “I won’t bother you.”