Episode 98. Reality (1)
Odette’s hurried steps halted. Part of her wanted to ignore it, but she knew she wouldn’t let her go that way, or maybe it was the heat in her stomach that was unlike anything she’d ever felt before.
She was angry that the person who had gotten Walter into this mess was talking about him like she had nothing to do with it.
It was anger she’d never felt before, not after all the times she’d been bullied by Lizaina.
“……Isn’t this something you shouldn’t be talking about?”
“Why not? Your husband misbehaved.”
Lizaina found the situation hilarious and even laughed out loud.
It was almost comical how she could endure being dragged by the hair without a word, yet found it entertaining to taunt Odette with just one word about her husband.
‘Stupid b*tch.’
To be honest, when she first got the offer, she didn’t think it was a good idea. No, she didn’t really think she’d fit in.
– I’m sick and tired of being involved with Walter Ertmann! Why do I have to play this role?!
– Because it’ll make the fire burn bigger. Of course, it has to be you. He used to be a man you were crazy about, remember? Even though you’re being offered a chance to embrace him, why the fuss?
The problem was that Blake was so rigid.
– That was in the past! I’m not interested anymore. It’s obvious that if we get more involved here, I’ll just look ridiculous……!
– So what?
– ……What?
– Is it more important that you look ridiculous? We’ve suffered so much without a glimpse of light, and Cedric looks set to inherit the throne. Do you know how many people turned their backs as soon as Cedric returned? You think it’s okay if we let this go and end up like Odette?
To be like Odette meant to be a sacrificial lamb in a strategic marriage. Odette managed to avoid it this time, but Lizaina, who was involved in many things, wouldn’t be able to escape easily.
Grabbing Lizaina’s shaking shoulders, Blake whispered fiercely, as if carving each word into her.
– If I’ve treated you like a sister all this time, be useful. Stop whining that you can’t even handle something like this.
Considering Lizaina’s high pride, Blake’s attitude was so oppressive that it wouldn’t have been surprising if he had slapped her right then and there. However, Lizaina always became vulnerable only to her family.
Katarina only cared about Blake, and she was there to support him.
If Blake told Katarina tomorrow that he wanted to sell her off in an arranged marriage, Katarina would do it without question.
There was no way out for Lizaina.
-……I understand, brother. I’m sorry.
In the end, she had no choice but to accept the proposal with a terrible sense of misery.
This humiliation turned into pure malice towards Walter and Odette.
But who could have known?
When she approached Walter with Odette’s face on.
– You wanted me to be honest with you. But this is also an important issue for me, so I couldn’t easily talk about it.
– ……What were you hiding?
– That I’m going to die.
Lizaina never thought he would confess such a secret!
Odette may be acting strong now, but she was nothing without Walter.
Seeing that clueless, foolish face that knew nothing only confirmed her suspicions.
What a fool.
“Funny how you’re still blinded by your husband in this situation. Do you trust Duke Ertmann? Do you think he’s sincere just because he’s been a little kind to you?”
“…….”
“You don’t know? What secrets your husband is hiding. But I do. We share secrets, him and I.”
And you still think Walter Ertmann is sincere with you?
Lizaina’s words cut Odette to the core.
In the past, she would have undoubtedly feared these words. She had once said she wanted to trust someone, to live a life without suspicion, but she herself was never ready to trust anyone.
The solitude she had lived with for survival had made it difficult for her to accept anyone.
Despite her affection and kindness towards Cedric, her inability to fully trust him was evidence of that.
In situations where trustworthy evidence and a credible environment are perfectly provided, faith holds no meaning at all.
Now she understood. Even amidst anxiety and fear, she needed to be able to reach out. To live a life where she could trust someone without suspicion, she needed to change herself first.
“……I don’t care if Walter isn’t sincere with me, because I believe him.”
“What? I knew you were foolish, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad.”
Lizaina laughed.
“I can already picture you betrayed and sobbing later on. What are you even trusting in? I thought you had some sense of reason, but it turns out…… you’re just a complete fool?”
“That’s right. They say people in love are all like that, right? They become foolish and can’t see a step ahead…….”
Odette smiled faintly.
“That’s what I am right now, so stop talking and get lost. Lizaina.”
* * *
Lizaina was dumbfounded, not expecting Odette to be so stern.
Odette heard Lizaina shouting from behind her, but she didn’t have time to turn around.
A sense of foreboding crept up her spine.
Why would Lizaina be there when she was in such a hurry?
‘Alone, without even one of her maids.’
It was as if she knew Odette would be there.
Even if Lizaina had a grudge against Odette, she wasn’t the kind of person who would think this deeply. So, the only other option was…
‘Blake.’
Maybe he sent Lizaina to get in her way on purpose.
Anxiety sank in as the thought touched her. Odette ran straight for Cedric’s palace. Her rapid pace slowed to a crawl as her shortness of breath and the tightness in her throat became unbearable.
Odette had reached Cedric’s palace.
But even though her steps slowed and her breathing calmed, the anxiety did not dissipate.
‘Why is the palace in such disarray?’
She could see people rushing in and out, all in the direction of Cedric’s office. The closer she got to her destination, the more people stared at her. Was it the desperate look on Odette’s face, or had something happened?
“……Odette?”
The door to Cedric’s office finally opened.
Cedric’s startled expression as he rose to his feet became visible. However, Odette couldn’t bring herself to respond.
She saw the blood on the floor and Walter on the ground.
Walter looked lifeless, and the physician examining him had a grim expression.
Odette numbly took a step towards him.
“Walter, why…….”
But she was interrupted. Cedric, with a desperate look on his face, blocked her path.
“Odette, please wait. I can explain the situation if you step aside. We haven’t confirmed what exactly happened yet. It seems there might have been poison in the tea Walter drank, but there’s no way he didn’t know that…….”
Cedric’s words echoed in her mind, but Odette couldn’t comprehend any of it properly. The voices ringing in her head were only making things more confusing and chaotic…….
– Please, Odette. Don’t do this. I cannot let you go.
Oh.
– I love you. I know it’s wrong, but I love you deeply. So please…… can’t you have a little pity for me?
Oh no.
– I don’t want anything. As long as you live, I feel like I can manage somehow. Please, just stay alive…….
Tears flowed down my cheeks. The heartbreaking confession remained as the only clarity in her dazed mind and awakened Odette’s mind.
The first thing that came to her mind was only a tiny fragment, but she could feel it at once. This was her last memory, barely grasped through Louis’s words.
The moment she jumped off the balcony.
The moment Walter confessed, and the last time she saw Walter.
All the pieces of Odette’s fragment finally fit together.
Walter wasn’t a murderer as Louis had said. He knew what Odette intended on the balcony and had tried tirelessly to stop her, even to the point of confessing a love he had never intended to speak.
Still, Odette jumped. No, there was only one thing she could have done.
Because she was as cruel and selfish in that moment as anyone could be.
– I’m sorry, Duke. I don’t pity you. I’m too tired…… I can’t think of anyone anymore.
Neither the words to live for oneself nor the words to be pitied meant anything to Odette. She was already too worn down by the cost of feeling sorry for someone, by the cost of living for someone.
If only she had been a little more selfish. If only she hadn’t listened to Louis’s plea, or had given up showing even minimal courtesy to Lady Clovis sooner? These thoughts surfaced with countless resentments, only to sink back down the road.
At that moment, Odette couldn’t help but think, he’s just trying to use her as a stepping stone to survive.
‘I guess there’s no one living for me.’
They say that if you don’t have anything, you can only be taken advantage of, and that’s exactly right. What’s the point of having so much compassion when you don’t have anything?
– You said you loved me. So please, just grant me one request.
She just wanted to be a little bit happy.
– If I look even a bit pitiful…… Please, let me go, Duke Ertmann.
Odette could feel the grip of the hand that held her loosening from her wrist. Yes, indeed, the world favors the cruel.
She was cruel, and Walter, eager to do anything for her, so what she’s receiving is only natural.
– Thank you.
With those words, Odette fell.
An irreversible death.
With a dull noise, Odette’s memory ended.
And with that, she returned to reality. To a reality where the man she loved, Walter, was dead.
