Episode 92. Crack (3)
After arriving at the ballroom, Odette’s bewildering mind never settled.
Even this morning, she had dreamed ‘that dream’, perhaps it was unsurprising.
Only this time, it was more intense. Ellie also noticed Odette’s unusual instability and even worriedly asked about it.
“Are you allright, Your Highness? You don’t look well…….”
“……I’m fine. Just a bit concerned about Walter, that’s all.”
Technically speaking, it would be more correct to say that the dream was bothering him, but he wasn’t entirely wrong either.
If Walter had simply told the truth, Odette would have easily divulged whatever story came out from the dream.
No matter what kind of person Louis was, no matter how much he cried in that dream, it wasn’t reality.
‘…… But Walter’s lies are real.’
What exactly is Walter hiding so desperately?
She thought she had found someone she could trust and rely on, but now she just can’t bring herself to believe in him anymore. It’s confusing.
Odette knows she should try to talk with him but, with Walter’s attitude, even initiating a conversation has become difficult.
For example, he had continuously watching Odette ever since he entered the ballroom.
Even when Odette was mingling and talking to others.
“Have you noticed that Duke Ertmann keeps looking this way?”
” Oh my, I thought it was just me feeling that way. I hear you two have a great relationship, it’s truly enviable.”
“…… That’s flattering.”
In the customary praise given to newlyweds, Odette awkwardly smiled.
She decided to leave the question of why they hadn’t come together if their marriage was truly great, unanswered.
However, she couldn’t stop sharp thoughts from piercing her mind.
‘Just as I’m avoiding Walter, he’s avoiding me.’.
If there’s only one person constantly avoiding, they’re bound to collide with something on the other side one way or another.
Yet, the two people were leading separate lives without any intersection. It means that Walter is intentionally avoiding Odette.
If he’s intentionally avoiding her on top of not caring about her, then perhaps he thought that fabricating lies to oneself is no longer productive.
Therefore, if he doesn’t want to spend any more time with Odette, who is just a mere contractual marriage partner, and even pretending to be a happy couple has become tiresome.
‘……In the end, it will be me who yields.’
It’s not because Odette is in regrettable position.
After her meeting with the Countess Noarch, she had vowed to be a source of strength for Walter.
Therefore, Odette was determined to fulfill her part, regardless of what actions Walter took.
‘Just…..this time, I must maintain my boundaries’
She didn’t expect it to go back to the close and affectionate relationship she had before.
Instead, they’re much closer to a rational and formal relationship.
‘It’s strange.’
Odette knew she was deceiving herself, and yet, despite her confusion, she didn’t feel any resentment or fear towards Walter.
In the end, Odette had to admit that she cared for him more than she realized.
So as time passes and this feeling fades.
Perhaps when the confusion has subsided, then we can truly create distance.
‘A little longer, so that we can live up to the title of contracted couple…….’
Odette sighed inwardly and made her way to the balcony. The distractions of the ballroom only seemed to complicate her already tangled thoughts, and she needed to clear her head.
As she walked, the balcony she arrived at was a somewhat familiar place.
It was where sheI first met Walter, and where I was supposed to meet Louis.
‘I don’t know what kind of coincidence there is.’
Odette let out a bitter laugh and released her grip on the railing she had been holding onto.
Coming to the balcony where she met Walter to sort out her thoughts about him was perhaps not the most appropriate choice.
Perhaps we should go somewhere else, Odette thought as she turned.
The door to the balcony opens, and Odette froze in place at the sight of the entering figure.
She froze in place, for he was the same face she saw every time in her dreams.
‘Louis Clovis.’
Perhaps due to losing weight, Louis’s face seemed even more clearer, overlapping with the image from her dreams. And the question he’d asked her the other day.
-……do you not remember me?
An absurd hypothesis flashed through Odette’s mind.
Louis didn’t miss that fleeting confusion.
Her thin lips slowly parted, as if clutching onto a solitary lifeline.
“Odette.”
Amidst the myriad of emotions entwined in Louis’s eye, a glimmer of hope flickered momentarily.
“Do you remember me now?”
* * *
“Your Excellency, wouldn’t it be better for you and Madame to reconcile? How long will you stay angry?”
“I’m not angry. We didn’t fight, so there’s nothing to be reconciled.”
“If you’re not angry, then then why would someone like you, who couldn’t bear to be separated from Madam, suddenly cut off all ties with her? It seemed like Madam was quite upset too”
To an outsider, Russell might have looked like he was out of his mind for daring to criticize his master, but in other words, Russell had his limits.
Despite his tendency to be selfish/independent, Walter was always a person who made rational and sensible judgment.
He never abandoned a job, at least not in the ten decade Russell had known him, it had never happened once.
‘That is, until he met Madam.’
No, perhaps it was more accurate to say not until he returned from the battlefield.
Something about Walter really felt strange. Russell couldn’t put his finger on it, but he’d been noticing it for months, and he’d even suspected Odette was the cause.
‘He’s not usually so attentive to her.’
It wasn’t until Russell spent three days in his room after the wedding that he humbly admitted it.
That Walther had fallen deeply for Odette.
Well, actually, even without that extreme example, it was obvious to anyone observing Walter’s treatment of Odette could have guessed. Its just that Russell, being someone who knew Walter well, had shaken his head for a long time, insisting it couldn’t be true.
Anyway, Russell was positive about it. Odette seemed to have feelings for Walter, and they were already married, what more could be the problem?
‘It’s about time Your Highness found a suitable match as well.’
It was nice to see Walter flirting with Odette, even if it was strange.
At least until a few days ago.
Until the cold war between Odette and Walter began.
“People are all bewildered seeing two people who couldn’t bear to be separated act like this. But Madam is a person of great kindness, so wouldn’t she accept Your Grace’s apology if you admitted fault?”
Russell obviously believed with all his heart that Walter must have done something wrong.
Odette, being someone raised in the palace, was a person of strong convictions, yet also surprisingly affectionate, unlike someone raised in the palace.
He heard that despite worrying that she might be too fragile, it was surprising to see she had quite a strong will.
Such a person didn’t seem likely to create problems first. At least not before Walter.
And Walter, too, seemed to agree with Russell’s opinion, nodding firmly.
“Of course.”
“Right? then why aren’t you doing it?”
“Just because she accepts my apologies doesn’t mean we can go back to the way things were.”
Walter had a gut feeling that Odette had caught on to his lies.
Of course, there were several opportunities to make things right.
If only he had apologized as soon as he realized why Odette’s attitude had turned cold.
If he had told Odette that he had nothing to hide from her, except for one thing, she would have undoubtedly nodded her head. And she would have said something like.
– I’ll trust you. But it’s better for us to maintain this distance in our relationship.
A contract marriage, and a clause about being committed only to each other.
Despite all that, Odette and Walther were still in love.
Even though there were those who tried to interfere with their marriage, they were still strong together.
So, to put it simply, this incident shattered the illusions surrounding them.
It’s like waking up from a dream, no pain, no blow.
The moment they realized they could never go back to that dream.
Perhaps this was for the better, Walter thought.
In the end, he was the one who would have to leave eventually.
‘If I care about Odette, I’ll have to keep my distance.’
It was something he knew in his head but couldn’t bring himself to do, but now that it was happening, keeping his distance seemed easier than he thought.
His dying heart was no longer in pain, and not being able to see her was nothing compared to the years that had passed.
He could just fade one day, as if he had never existed.
Then Odette will soon forget him, and under Cerdric’s protection, she could live happily.
Perhaps she would even fall in love with someone else, like Louis, or someone else.
Walter knew he had no place in Odette’s future.
Yet, despite this, the flicker of a restless hope refused to extinguish. …….
“Your Excellency, you won’t know how things will turn out until you try it. If its destined to happen anyway, then giving it a try wouldn’ “
Russell said, ruffling his back head.
“I realize I’m being presumptuous, of course. But sometimes, there are things you’re less likely to regret if you try/trying is better than regretting. At least it’s better than just standing behind and watching with a face full of regret, like you’re doing now…… Why, why do you look at it that way?”
Walter stared wordlessly into the face of the one who knew him best.
Then he asked.
“I don’t know…… Do I look that regretful?”
“No, did you really think that’s all? Surely you didn’t think otherwise?”
“I thought I erased it.”
“What do you mean you erased it, it looks like you’re overwriting it from head to toe! Do you really think I’m blind?”
So please!
“Go, and talk just please!”
* * *
And with that, Walter pushed and escorted out by Russell’s back.
Russell decided that a ballroom like this was the perfect setting to break the ice, so he led Walter outside. It implied seeking out Odette and have a private conversation with her.
Besides, Walter knew where Odette headed when she tired of the banquet, so he waited, expecting her eventual arrival.
He waited long enough, and as he expected, Odette appeared.
“……Walter?”
{Special thanks for Czarina senpai for helping this chapter!}
