After a long and heavy dream, the person was left utterly exhausted.
Zhao Guan woke up drenched in sweat, his eyes widened in surprise as he realized he was lying in a completely unfamiliar room.
There was no scent of disinfectant and no neatly categorized monitoring equipment. The room, at most ten square meters in size, was crude and narrow, the windows and doors were uneven, the decoration was simple, the furnishings were scarce and of poor quality, and looking at them for too long would induce a sense of coldness. With a hint of confusion, Zhao Guan surveyed his surroundings, his gaze landing on the wall across from him, where a pink Hello Kitty digital clock hung. A row of blood-red LED characters danced on it, causing a stabbing pain in his eyes: May 27th, 11:05 AM.
Zhao Guan could still recall the last time he watched a TV program. It was when his friend Yu Shuimiao brought a laptop and had him watch gossip news about the famous actress Zhou Min caught entering a luxury hotel. In the background of the excited host’s voice, Yu Shuimiao’s face turned pale with anger, saying, “Open your damn eyes and take a good look! This is the person you’re idolizing all the time!”
Zhao Guan was somewhat surprised by this, but he was more concerned about the emotions of Yu Shuimiao. He was a natural romantic, emotionally indifferent, and had been disabled for over a decade now. Even though he and Ren Pingsheng were publicly seen as a couple, their affection has dwindled. Knowing that the other party secretly indulged themselves when he was seriously ill, brought a calm sense of “as expected,” along with worries for Zhou Min due to a sense of pity and fondness. After all, just the day before he went to the hotel, Ren Pingsheng, with a disheveled appearance and deep affection, took care of him on his sickbed.
On that day, which happened to be Labor Day, in the evening he urged Yu Shuimiao to relax and go out for dinner. Not long after, he suddenly experienced difficulty in breathing. In a daze, he heard the monitor alarm go off frantically, followed by many people calling his name.
Upon waking up again, it was the present moment.
Zhao Guan stared blankly at the row of red characters on the digital clock, lost in thought until a sharp pain penetrated his stomach. It was a hunger unlike anything he had ever felt before, and for a moment, his mind was consumed solely by the desire for food. Almost instinctively, he reached out to find the call bell on the bedside table. To his surprise, when he exerted force, his legs lifted along with it.
Startled, he ended up falling from the narrow bed that was only 1.2 meters wide, straight onto the floor.
The sharp, intense pain in his knee accompanied the fleeting images from his dream. Zhao Guan felt dizzy and disoriented. With bleary eyes, he realized he was only wearing a boldly styled pair of red underwear. A pair of meticulously sculpted, fair, and slender legs stretched out before him, with the lines of the taut instep dancing spectacularly, causing his vision to blur.
In an instant, he remembered the fire that broke out in the recording studio when he was 20. The chandelier came crashing down from the ceiling, and he rushed to shield Ren Pingsheng, enveloping his lover tightly within the curve of his chest and arms.
His spine shattered, lungs damaged, lower limbs paralyzed, and respiratory tract burned. At that time, shortly after Zhao Guan had won both the Best New Artist Award and the Best Arrangement Award at the Tianyin Music Festival with his self-composed debut album, experts in the industry confidently predicted an unlimited future for him. However, when this terrible news broke, countless fans cried and prayed. In that era of limited communication, letters flew into the hospital room like snowflakes. Two and a half years later, only a few sporadic greetings remained.
On the hospital bed, Zhao Guan channeled his emotions into frenzied songwriting, creating intricate and exquisite melodies, but he could no longer sing them out loud. At that time, with tears in his eyes, Ren Pingsheng kissed the corner of his mouth and said, “You write them, my life belongs to you. Let me be your voice.”
And then, how much time passed? No one could remember anymore. Zhao Guan used the tip of his pen to support Ren Pingsheng, transforming him from an unknown rookie into the internationally renowned superstar he is today.
Young love and enduring hardships together? In truth, Zhao Guan felt that he seemed to be slowly losing that feeling. It’s just that Ren Pingsheng became too reliant on him. He was willing to let their passionate love transform into familial affection and responsibility, anchoring himself in loyalty to their household. However, since Ren Pingsheng could be with Zhou Min, perhaps his emotions for him weren’t as impossible to extricate as he once thought. In the current situation… Wasn’t it best to consider it as a good gathering that should end well?
Zhao Guan lay on the ground and thought a lot as if he wished to reflect on decades of his life until the tearing hunger subsided. Slowly, he reached out to the bedside, supporting himself as he stood up. Unable to resist, he took a step forward, gradually getting used to controlling the wheelchair over the years. The perspective of standing and the icy touch of the ground under his feet felt so unfamiliar. Prior to this moment, he could never have imagined that less than a month after his death, through such an unbelievable experience, he could regain these irretrievable things.
After a few steps, the physical exertion left him light-headed and muddled. The intensity of his body’s hunger made him feel like he might faint any second now. Zhao Guan struggled to calm his racing thoughts while forcing himself to stay composed. He began searching for food, recalling the dream-like images he saw while he was asleep. To his surprise, the original owner of this body had a determination for weight loss far crazier than he had imagined. After rummaging through numerous cosmetics and skincare products, Zhao Guan finally unearthed a chocolate covered in candy-like packaging from a corner of the drawer. As he swallowed, strength surged back into his limbs, finally freeing him from the looming threat. Exhausted, he leaned against the head of the bed.
Beside the pillow lay a small, pale yellow diary.
On the title page was the neatly written name of the owner: Yuan Shang.
Zhao Guan traced them with his fingers, his gaze profound. After a long while, a sigh escaped his lips, part regret, and part resignation.
The owner of this body, Yuan Shang, was merely 19 years old. His loved ones had passed away early, his family was poor, and he had dropped out of school at a young age. He had traveled a thousand miles to this unfamiliar city to participate in a talent show, and his short life could be described as full of ups and downs.
Beautiful people tend to have a more colorful life. Yuan Shang, with his distinctive appearance from a young age, garnered attention. However, due to his upbringing, he couldn’t cultivate the depth that matched his looks. He wasn’t particularly intelligent, and his emotional intelligence was lacking as well. With the loss of family support, he faced constant hardships. Even more unfortunate, his good looks were not accompanied by proper guidance from elders. This led to a skewed understanding of his own gender identity from a young age. Despite growing up to be tall and handsome, deep inside, he leaned more towards living life like a girl.
A few months ago, Wu Binqing, the planner of the talent show segment “Voice of All Things” on Sihai TV, happened to be on a field trip to the border city. There, he discovered this young man whose appearance amazed him. Eager for the affluent life of fame that Wu Binqing promised, Yuan Shang willingly left his hometown with him. Carrying such beautiful dreams, he only realized after stepping onto the stage that the luxurious life behind the spotlight was not easily attainable for everyone.
Lacking education and musical understanding, and having ventured into a larger world, Yuan Shang became aware that his feminine side might not be well-received. He grew increasingly cautious, hiding his secrets and flaws, refraining from speaking out of turn. However, in the fiercely competitive entertainment industry, credentials like graduating from a prestigious music university or displaying exceptional talent were the norm. Everyone sought to climb the ladder of heritage, education, skill, and family background. Even though Yuan Shang remained inconspicuous and low-key, he still felt out of place due to his lack of standout qualities beyond his appearance.
Upon realizing that he wasn’t as suitable as they had initially thought, the show’s planning team considered abandoning the idea. However, due to the captivating nature of the original’s face, which seemed like a heaven-sent asset, a brief four-second shot of him in the promotional materials for the “Voice of All Things” audition generated considerable attention online. Reluctant to let go of this sensational tool, Wu Binqing, against objections, allowed him to stay by employing lip-syncing. Originally intending to keep Yuan Shang for just a couple more episodes to exploit his market value before eliminating him, Wu Binqing didn’t anticipate that within merely two episodes, even before the formal finals, the original’s popularity would soar to an astonishing level. And the story didn’t end there. To make matters worse, the biggest investor in “Voice of All Things,” Zhou Zhanxiao, the CEO of Sihai Films, happened to meet Yuan Shang in passing, and unexpectedly, he fell head over heels at first sight!
Wu Binqing felt despair in this appearance-centric world, but when the investor wanted to uplift someone, the show’s team had to accomplish their task, even if they had to kneel. Consequently, the original owner – bewildered and all – managed to make it to the finals with lip-syncing.
Zhou Zhanxiao, a well-known playboy in the entertainment industry, was handsome and generous in his pursuits. He showered his targets with flowers, diamonds, and sweet words, and Yuan Shang, with his limited perspective and feminine inclinations, couldn’t resist. With a not-so-straight orientation either, it wasn’t long before his heart started to sway. Thus, on the day he stood on the final stage, his heart pounding, he made up his mind to accept Zhou Zhanxiao’s pursuit—a naive child who hadn’t encountered the complexities of intimate relationships. He thought Zhou Zhanxiao was genuinely interested in building a life together.
Then, that same afternoon, before even having the chance to go to the hotel, he candidly confessed his cross-dressing hobby to his “future partner.”
Zhou Zhanxiao, not being curious, was naturally frightened by the shy smile and bright red lips of his dream man, and he ran away as fast as he could. From that point on, the phone could no longer be reached. Without the other person’s protection, the life and career of the original spiraled downward like a roller coaster. Not only did the diamonds, flowers, and daily care disappear without a trace, but he also heard from gossip that the production team decided to eliminate him in the next round of the competition. After that, unfounded posts began appearing online, criticizing him for everything imaginable, from lacking culture, depth, and popularity to being impolite. From having no skills to lip-syncing in competitions, all sorts of personal details were exposed, making it seem like these internet users knew him better than his own mother.
The production team of the show “Voice of All Things” had no intention of restoring his reputation; it was clear that they wanted to squeeze out his last bit of value to further boost the show’s popularity. Yuan Shang was aware that he might be eliminated in the sixth-round competition. Full of despair, the last straw that broke the camel’s back came surging down just like that—
—Another popular contestant from the eighth-round competition, Jiang Xie, received 999 scorching hot roses on his birthday.
The sender of the flowers was none other than Zhou Zhanxiao.
Overwhelmed by despair, he locked himself in his room, shedding tears uncontrollably. His already not-so-clever mind became even more muddled. Suddenly, he recalled a comment he had seen online, stating that he wasn’t handsome at all and had a chubby and big face (you know how online comments can be). For some inexplicable reason, he felt he should lose weight. Therefore, he went on a week-long streak of consuming nothing but black coffee, and he barely ate anything. It was a wonder he didn’t drop dead.
*****
Zhao Guan tried to dispel those terrifying memories, his eyes widened, deeply shaken, and left speechless by the astonishing life of this young man.
This was clearly a character that couldn’t be simply summarized with the word “fool”.
But someone like this could actually become famous?
He came to his senses, groped around by the pillow, reached for the phone, and looked at the dark screen. Once again, he was shocked by the face he saw on it. His initial resentment for the original’s lack of progress was inevitably replaced by the playboy’s instinct to pity and cherish the beauty. Zhao Guan raised his hand to touch his own face, and the delicate sensation beneath his fingertips softened his gaze. After a while, he sighed deeply and said, “Well, after all, nobody’s perfect.”
