Chapter 2: The Past (1)
Ray remembered the cold atmosphere that lingered in their house since he was very young. The servants always moved cautiously, as if walking on thin ice; his father always showed a cold and indifferent back; and his older brother resembled their father both in appearance and temperament.
Despite the fact that his family had never shown any warmth, Ray respected his father and brother more than anyone else in the world. He had been branded as weak and overly emotional by them from a young age, but he didn’t mind constantly being compared to his brother. Because the person he loved the most was his brother.
To Ray, Eugene was a stoic and difficult older brother five years older than him. But sometimes, Eugene would teach him how to fold a ball out of paper or allow Ray to crawl into his bed during terrifying thunderstorms. He was like a hero.
Their mother, the Duchess, had passed away early on from postpartum fever while giving birth to the second son Ray. As Ray grew older, he naturally began to notice the bitter glint in his father’s and brother’s eyes whenever they looked at him. How could he not?
Ray took after his mother more than his father, both in appearance and personality. If he had been born a girl, perhaps things would have been a little different. However, he was a boy, and his gentle nature and delicate looks inherited from his mother were of little use in contributing to the Duke’s family, a family credited with helping found the empire.
In any case, Ray tried every way to gain his father’s approval as he grew older. He practiced swordsmanship through grueling training, spent sleepless nights reading books on history and politics, and strove to become a son his father could be proud of. He thought that it would be enough if his father smiled at him even once. It would be more than enough for him if his brother ever said, “That’s my little brother.”
If not for the sudden appearance of his new stepsister not long after his thirteenth birthday, he may have succeeded slightly.
If not for that terribly lovely girl, born from a single night the Duke had spent with a singer introduced by the Emperor when overwhelmed with grief after his wife’s death.
“Brother1오라버니 – Formal ‘Older Brother’. Ray!”
A girl with bluish silver hair, the symbol of the Tydis family, and eyes blue as the sea, came running towards me with a bright smile. Levina de Tydis, a girl whose appearance indicated to anyone that she was my father’s daughter. Now, she had become my younger sister.
When I first saw her, I had wondered why a beggar child had appeared at the door. But now, she was every bit like the daughter of a noble family. Was this what they meant by ‘clothes make the person’?
“Brother, can’t you go to the night market with me tonight? Please? I really want to go see it, but I can’t sneak out by myself.”
I barely managed to hold back from snapping what I wanted to say: ‘Are you out of your mind?’ If our father, who had grown ridiculously soft since this girl arrived, found out that his precious daughter had secretly snuck out to the night market, he’d clutch his chest and collapse. My brother would also be the same.
What was so special about this girl that those two cold-hearted men would completely lose their minds? Girls were truly mysterious creatures.
“No, Levina. Father will definitely be angry if he finds out. Do you want to get scolded?”
I tried to speak in the gentlest brotherly tone I could muster, but she just stared at me with wide eyes. I stared back, wondering if she might start whining, and sure enough, her small face quickly turned red.
“Brother Ray… you don’t like me, do you?”
“Huh? What are you talking about? Nobody’s ever said that…”
“Everyone says it! I know everything! They whisper about where someone with a lowly birth like me came from, and how I’ve rolled into a place beyond my means…! I-I was so happy to have a family…”
I wish I knew why things were turning out this way. I sighed. There was something odd about my lovely new sister. Despite having both my father and brother utterly dote on her, she always came to me with these kinds of difficult requests. Did I look like someone who does favors easily?
Anyway, perhaps this was a chance to correct her behavior? If not, she might grow up to be a spoiled child, throwing tantrums whenever things didn’t go her way. As the daughter of the Tydis family, she needed to grow up with the right virtues. Only then would people stop whispering about her birth.
With that thought, I steeled myself and firmly refused Levina’s request. She began to cry, saying that everyone was the same and hated her. But I didn’t budge. What could I do? I was the only one who could play the villain here.
In the end, Levina pouted and ran off into the mansion, sulking. Finally alone, I resumed my sword training.
It was an exhausting day. The recent injury to my back ached more than usual today, constantly hindering me. But it wasn’t like I could show I was in pain. I wasn’t some girl. I was a thirteen-year-old boy now, and if I groaned and grumbled, it would only invite ridicule.
Drowsiness washed over me and I wanted to desperately lie down after my bath. Nevertheless, I couldn’t go to bed without completing my daily routine. Even if I couldn’t be as good as my brother, I had to absorb as much knowledge as I could, if only to avoid being surpassed by my peers.
Speaking of my brother, he really was amazing. He was already a court minister at such a young age—that’s my brother for you. Haaah…
“Young Master, His Grace is asking for you.”
“Father? Alright.”
Why would Father be calling for me at this time? He almost never asked to meet me alone. In any case, I closed my book and headed for his study.
“Father, what is the matter…”
Bang!
A sudden, harsh impact to my forehead left me no time to even groan. I staggered, clutching my temple with my hand. I was so shocked that I didn’t even register the pain.
I noticed an ink bottle that had fallen to the floor, rolling to a stop on the carpet. There were also small drops of blood falling onto the ivory carpet.
I felt strangely detached from reality as I stared blankly at it, when my father’s cold voice broke through.
“What did I say last time?”
“…What?”
“I made it clear that Levina is my daughter and your sister. What on earth did you say to make her cry so bitterly?”
Ah, so that’s why… For a moment, I didn’t know how to respond. Telling him I had refused her childish request to take her to the night market would only make things worse. I didn’t want Levina to get severely scolded because of her misbehavior. After all, she was just a young girl who had recently lost her mother and found herself in this enormous duchy, trying to adjust. I felt sorry for her in my own way.
“Father, it’s…”
“I have never once asked anything of you. I don’t expect much from you, always crying like some girl, and all the duties and responsibilities of being my son have already been placed solely on your brother’s shoulders. And yet, you can’t even take care of your little sister properly.”
“…”
“What is the issue? Don’t you feel sorry for that child? Or is it that you’re so small-minded you’re jealous of her?”
A sharp pain welled up in my chest. I wanted to say, ‘No, it’s not like that. I’m not like that!’ but I couldn’t open my mouth. Because most of the cold words my father said were true.
Yes, I think I was jealous of that poor child. Every time my father and brother, who had always been so cold to me, looked at Levina with warmth I had never seen before, it felt like something was hollowed out inside me.
TN: The depressing “Past” chapters are gonna continue until Chapter 4. The new life begins in earnest starting Chapter 5.
Also, I was curious so I skimmed the raws a bit. Don’t worry, this book is not incest. But Ray is going to have a ton of PTSD from his past life and suffers from a lack of affection.
😭😭😔😭😞