Chapter 35

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The pain she had expected did not come.

When she opened her eyes, a hand was gripping the shard of the teacup, and blood was flowing out in streams.

“Your Highness—let me stop the bleeding immediately!”

Li Zhi cried out in shock. The bloodstained shard of porcelain fell to the ground, splattering blood across the cold floor.

She tried to tear a strip from her clothes to use as a bandage, but the sturdy fabric refused to budge despite her efforts.

Just as she was panicking, unsure of what to do, Xie Lanxu grasped her hand.

His blood flowed onto Li Zhi’s hand, connecting them with streaks of bright red, which slowly dripped down from where their skin met.

“I just wanted to see if you were truly willing to die for me. Now, I believe you,” he said. His voice was gentle, like that of a merciful saint. “Banban, do you resent me for testing you over and over again?”

His expression finally softened.

Once, it seemed that the perpetual scrutiny and suspicion hidden deep within his black pupils would never vanish. But now, as he looked at Li Zhi’s face, filled with guilt and remorse, it all dissipated like smoke and clouds.

“If someone were to approach me with such painstaking effort, I would test them in every way too, just like Your Highness,” Li Zhi said with a bitter smile. “Not to mention, it’s very possible that because of me, the Crown Prince’s family suffered calamity… What right do I have to resent Your Highness?”

Xie Lanxu studied her expression carefully. After a moment, he released her hand and said slowly,

“The Crown Prince’s treason case has nothing to do with your secret letter.”

“Your Highness doesn’t need to console me…” Li Zhi said. “The Crown Prince’s faction was convicted just one month after I sent the letter. How could such a coincidence exist in this world?”

“The Emperor convicted the Crown Prince of treason because letters were found in the Eastern Palace proving collusion between the Li family and the Crown Prince’s faction, conspiring rebellion.”

Li Zhi’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“This matter was of great significance, so only a few people know the truth,” Xie Lanxu said. “Before the Crown Prince was deposed, a secret letter appeared directly in the Ziwei Palace. The letter detailed how the Crown Prince and the Li family had joined forces to conspire rebellion. The Emperor ordered a search of the palace and uncovered correspondence between the Crown Prince and the Li family, which led to everything that followed.”

“Your Highness… is truly not deceiving me?” Li Zhi murmured, stunned.

“I have no reason to deceive you about something like this.” Xie Lanxu turned back to the chair and sat down, pulling a handkerchief from his robe to press against the wound.

“Let me do it—Your Highness, where is the medicine?”

Li Zhi retrieved the medicine from where Xie Lanxu indicated and returned to kneel before him, sprinkling the powder onto the wound in his palm.

Daily-use porcelain, particularly teacups, was designed to retain heat and was therefore never made too thin.

The shard of porcelain that had cut Xie Lanxu’s palm had left a large surface wound, causing significant bleeding, but it could not have severed Li Zhi’s artery nor damaged Xie Lanxu’s tendons or bones.

As long as the wound was tightly bandaged, the bleeding could be stopped quickly.

Li Zhi tied a knot in the handkerchief and looked at Xie Lanxu with concern. “Does Your Highness need a physician?”

He shook his head, unconcerned.

Looking down at her from above, he used his freshly bandaged hand to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

“Is it only guilt?” he asked.

“What?”

“Your heartbeat—it doesn’t lie. Toward me, is it only guilt?”

Li Zhi panicked and avoided his gaze.

Xie Lanxu laughed. The last trace of doubt in his eyes faded away.

“I understand your feelings, and I understand your loyalty now,” he said softly. “From this day forward, you are the only person I trust, Banban.”

—–

Fifty strikes with the paddle—an ordinary person could hardly survive such a punishment.

By the time the beating was over, Li Jinzhi was barely clinging to life.

Li Zhi, invoking the bond of siblinghood, volunteered to take on the task of escorting him back to the armored soldier he served under.

When Lu Han heard of this, he sighed and said to Lu Congruan, who stood before him, “To face a crisis without panic, to navigate between two difficult choices with such effort, and to repay hatred with kindness without harboring resentment—she is truly a remarkable woman, one with both courage and compassion… Ah-Ruan, return her to your sister.”

Lu Congruan grew anxious. “Why is that?”

“…Because you’re not worthy of her.” Lu Han shook his head.

Lu Congruan’s face turned crimson with rage.

He thought back to how, ever since Xie Lanxu had arrived at Mingyue Tower, his father had constantly compared the two of them—without saying it outright, but always showing his preference. At this moment, all the grievances and dissatisfaction he had suppressed erupted.

“Father, I can’t control your admiration for the deposed Crown Prince, but you should think carefully! I am your real son—not the Imperial Grandson, who’s fed and pampered in Bamboo Courtyard!”

“If you think I’m not worthy, does that mean the Imperial Grandson, exiled to Mingyue Tower and only alive today thanks to your protection, is worthy?”

“Silence!”

Lu Han was both shocked and furious. By the time he came back to his senses, he had already slapped Lu Congruan’s face hard enough to make his head snap to the side.

As the sole son of the family, Lu Congruan had been spoiled and coddled since childhood. Not only had he rarely been disciplined, but even being scolded was a rare occurrence. Now, having been slapped, he held his cheek in disbelief and stared at his father.

Lu Han felt his palm burning with regret. The moment the slap landed, he already regretted it.

“Ah-Ruan, you…”

Just as Lu Han began to speak, Lu Congruan stood up abruptly, his face livid, and stormed out with a flick of his sleeve.

No matter how loudly Lu Han called after him, he did not look back.

—-

Inside the jolting carriage, the unconscious Li Jinzhi groggily opened his eyes.

When he finally saw Li Zhi sitting by the window, anger surged within him, and he instinctively tried to lunge at her. But the excruciating pain that followed stopped him in his tracks, and he let out a scream of agony.

“Big Brother is awake,” Li Zhi said softly.

“You vicious wench! Even if I go to the underworld, I will become a ghost and come back to haunt you! I’ll bring the hundreds of souls from the Li family who died tragically with me to demand your life!”

Though his body couldn’t move, Li Jinzhi’s mouth was as sharp as ever.

Throughout his endless stream of curses, Li Zhi did not interrupt him. Only when he had exhausted himself, gasping for air, and his wounds had begun to ooze more blood due to his agitation, did she finally speak.

“Does Big Brother truly dare to face the three hundred souls of the Li family in the underworld?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Don’t tell me Big Brother has forgotten?” Li Zhi smiled, her terrifying words flowing gently from her soft lips. “The true culprit responsible for the Li family’s downfall and Father’s tragic death… wasn’t it none other than you, Big Brother?”

Li Jinzhi’s eyes widened, his once-clever tongue now frozen, his venomous voice silenced.

“Father probably went to his death believing himself deeply wronged. He could never have imagined that the one conspiring with the Crown Prince in his name to plot rebellion was none other than the eldest son he had always relied on as his right-hand man.”

Li Zhi gently lifted his head onto her lap, stroking the crown of his head as tenderly as if she were caressing a beloved younger sibling. Her touch was delicate, even as his entire body stiffened in paralyzing fear.

“You knew the truth behind the treason case, which is why you were happy to let me take the blame. But did you ever stop to think—” Li Zhi gazed at the stunned Li Jinzhi with a smile. “Why would I speak my so-called dream talk to you, of all people, at just the right time?”

She spoke softly, “Because only you have a crooked heart and insatiable greed.”

“Because only you know that I’m not the real culprit.”

“You wouldn’t seek vengeance for the Li family by coming after me. Instead, you’d rack your brains trying to figure out how to use me, this foolish girl who believes she caused Father’s and the Crown Prince’s deaths, for your own benefit.”

Li Jinzhi suddenly began struggling.

He didn’t want to listen to Li Zhi anymore. He didn’t want to hear her explain how foolish he was. He had come to realize that the person before him was an opponent he could never defeat—a monster, a demon who had crawled out of hell itself!

Now, he only wanted to survive! Whether as a slave for the armored soldiers or as anything else, he just wanted to live!

A cold dagger pressed against the left side of his carotid artery.

“Big Brother, don’t make me angry,” Li Zhi sighed, her tone genuinely pleading. “Please?”

Li Jinzhi felt the chill of the blade against the flow of his blood and could already imagine the sight of his lifeblood spraying against the ceiling of the carriage. The extreme fear rendered him completely motionless.

Li Zhi smiled in satisfaction.

“Xunfeng came to you because I instructed her to,” she said. “Otherwise, how else would she suddenly seem so clever?”

“Why… why on earth did you do this?” Li Jinzhi asked, his voice trembling.

“Because I want you to die for a worthy cause,” Li Zhi whispered in his ear.

She raised her head, looked at Li Jinzhi’s pallid face, and smiled sweetly.

“I should thank you. Without your cooperation in this performance, who knows when I would have found the perfect excuse to convince His Highness that my deliberate approach to him was entirely well-intentioned.”

“And let me tell you one more secret,” Li Zhi said with a laugh. “I never sent any secret letter.”

A flock of birds flew across the sky outside the window, their flapping wings loud at first, then fading into the distance.

To Li Jinzhi, the sound was like his final struggle, slowly vanishing into oblivion.

At last, he understood. From the moment he first heard those “dreamy murmurs,” he had already knocked on the door of death.

For a long time, he had been manipulated by a teenage girl who had toyed with him as if he were a pawn.

He had been so smug, so oblivious.

—-

The throne had remained vacant for years, and Emperor Xie Shen, though still in his prime, had many conflicts with the deposed Crown Prince. If the Emperor were to have another legitimate son, that child would undoubtedly inherit the throne in the future.

There had always been a prophecy about twins born with extraordinary destinies. After years of observation, Li Jinzhi and his father had discovered that Li Zhi was gentle, intelligent, and eager to learn, while her twin sister was rebellious and unruly.

Eventually, their father decided to place his hopes on the elder sister, Li Zhi.

All Li Jinzhi had to do was pretend to win her over, to pretend to support this sister who was destined to enter the palace one day. That way, the Li family’s glory and wealth could be secured for decades to come.

Not once—not for a moment—had he truly seen her as anything significant, let alone as a worthy opponent.

“Spare me… I’m your brother, bound to you by blood…” Li Jinzhi begged with tears in his eyes.

“My twin sister, out of fear and shame, bled out completely, yet she didn’t dare cry for help,” Li Zhi said softly.

That night— She would never forget that thunderstorm.

The deafening thunder roared nonstop.

It seemed like the torrential rain would never stop pouring from the eaves.

Her twin sister had died in despair, her eyes wide open in death.

“She was only thirteen… and she died of massive blood loss from a miscarriage,” Li Zhi said softly. “When you pushed her into that situation, did you ever think of her as your blood-related sister?”

The boundless fear slithered over Li Jinzhi’s body like a serpent.

The terror he now felt no longer came from the blade at his neck.

The true source of his dread was the smiling girl before him.

“You… surely you’re not going to…”

Li Zhi looked at him and smiled, confirming his suspicion.

“I want the world to know that the one sitting on the throne is no better than a beast dressed as a man, a pretender wearing a crown.”

“I want Xie Shen to die without a grave. I want his dreams of everlasting glory to be shattered forever. I want him to know—”

“If Heaven won’t destroy him, I will.”

The Li Zhi before him, with her serene smile, was completely different from the naïve and overly loyal sister he once remembered.

The girl’s expression softened, as if she had touched the most tender part of her heart.

“Every time I wear a seashell, I light incense and pray ninety thousand times.”

From the underworld, the whisper of her soul’s other half could be heard.

An expression of tranquility, which didn’t belong to her, occupied the girl’s face. The faint light escaping from the window screen seemed to fear those unfathomable eyes, dodging from side to side on her face.

A peculiar, bright smile appeared under the hazy light from the window screen. She spoke softly yet firmly, “I want to be remembered in history, revered by the world. A hundred years from now, when people mention Li Zhi, the daughter of the Li family, only praises will follow, honoring her virtuous beauty.”

In this cramped carriage, Li Jinzhi felt the world spinning uncontrollably, and a terrifying thought flashed through his mind.

His heart shattered as he said, “You… you are…”

Li Jinzhi’s bloodshot eyes bulged out in an instant. He stared fiercely at Li Zhi, his throat making cracking sounds, but he could no longer utter a complete word.

Li Zhi’s hand, placed on his head, held a silver needle that had pierced his skull, shattering his last words.

Li Jinzhi’s body, like a taut string, suddenly relaxed.

His eyes were wide open, never to close again.

The silver needle was collected by Li Zhi and placed into a wooden hairpin. She then casually wore the hairpin back into her hair.

Moments later, the panicked cries of Li Zhi echoed from inside the carriage.

The coachman quickly stopped the carriage to investigate.

He pushed open the tightly shut wooden door, reached out to feel for the breath under Li Jinzhi’s nose as he lay on the bamboo mat, and then looked at Li Zhi with a face full of regret.

“…His injuries were too severe. He’s gone.”

Tears instantly welled up in the young girl’s reddened eyes and began to stream down.

“Big Brother…”

Li Zhi bent down, holding Li Jinzhi’s lifeless body as she silently sobbed.

Even the most cold-hearted person could not help but be moved by the scene.

The coachman, sympathizing with Li Zhi’s plight, did not rush her. He simply stood to the side, quietly waiting for her emotions to settle.

Soon, a crowd of curious onlookers gathered near the carriage. The coachman, undeterred by the commotion, patiently explained the situation to each person who asked.

When the bystanders learned that the young girl was once the daughter of a second-rank official in the capital and was now, despite her past grievances, escorting her treacherous elder brother back home, they looked at Li Zhi with eyes full of sympathy and admiration.

Through glimpses of the scene, they pieced together fragments of the truth, but they would never see the whole story.

Or perhaps, like her, by the time they truly understood the truth, it would already be far too late.

All that would remain would be a wound that would fester forever, a pain in the depths of the heart that would throb day and night.

—–

Cultural Notes:

“The courage of a sword and the tenderness of a zither ” (jian dan qin xin): this idiom describes someone who is both brave and compassionate. It is often used to praise someone with inner strength and a kind heart.

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