Time for Patience (Part 2)
“Anyway.”
“Whatever it is, don’t try to brush it off.”
“… I’m really sorry for touching… that… precious thing of yours.”
“So?”
I struggled to find the right words in this bizarre situation. My flustered reflection stared back at me in the empty rice cake bowl. I had already apologized; it was up to Chae Soo to accept it. But why was he asking that an extremely difficult question for me to answer.
Even the usual apology—I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again, I’ll be careful—felt ridiculous in this context. How likely was it that I would ever touch that part of Chae Soo’s body again?
“I’m just… really sorry.”
“Are you trying to get away with just an apology?”
“… But I can’t exactly tell you to touch my body in return, can I?”
Oh my god. What was I even saying?
“Of course… of course, Senior, you probably don’t have much interest in a woman’s body, but… well, if you’re really that upset, then maybe my chest…?”
“Han Yeon-doo, have you lost your mind?”
Had I somehow put on cursed red shoes? My mouth just wouldn’t stop moving on its own.
And yet, since breasts came in a pair, I started thinking that, in order to make things truly fair, maybe I should let him touch mine once. What the hell was wrong with me? It was like I was being manipulated by some outside force.
Somewhere deep in my mind, my thoughts kept replaying that specific moment, that specific sensation. The memory of that touch lingered on my fingertips, fueling a ridiculous desire to experience it again. The more I thought about it, the more it felt like Chae Soo was the one who had corrupted me. Maybe he was the one who should be apologizing.
“But, Senior… have you ever actually touched a woman’s chest properly?”
And just like that, I turned into a complete lunatic.
Chae Soo’s spoon slipped from his hand and clattered onto the table.
If I had to divide the world’s people into normal and abnormal, I would easily choose the latter. Those who have always lived a decent life in the “normal” category tend to have even minor flaws judged harshly, whereas the words “that person is just a little strange” seem to remove all constraints on their thoughts and actions.
My father framed it as something special, but since I was little, I’ve worn the labels “special kid,” “weird kid,” and “strange kid” like a badge of honor. So, being told I’m crazy doesn’t even register as a shock—it barely reaches level one. Only overly sensitive people would be affected by something like that.
I am far from sensitive. If anything, I’m dull when it comes to emotions, so I never had much resistance to being labeled a crazy woman. But that didn’t mean I actually considered giving my heart to Chae Soo. I wasn’t immature, and I had enough social awareness to know better.
I just wanted to leave open the possibility that he might be the one in a million.
Chae Soo had barely finished saying, “Are you crazy?” before he immediately got up from his seat, as if he couldn’t stand to hear another word, and headed for the checkout counter. I followed him, limping on my cramped legs. With each step, I felt vibrations shoot through my feet, and I let out a snicker. Chae Soo’s expression twisted in disgust, as if he was truly sick of me.
It was funny, really. His tantrum…
Whoever ends up as Chae Soo’s boyfriend/ maybe girlfriend is in for an interesting ride. As much as I hated to admit it, his reactions were surprisingly cute. They made me want to keep teasing him. I disliked him, for sure, but seeing him squirm because of me was amusing.
I slipped on my sneakers and hurried out of the restaurant. My legs, which had been complaining earlier, now felt like they were made of sand. Chae Soo, who had been standing far away as if maintaining a proper distance, walked toward me with a displeased expression. I consciously resisted the urge to let my gaze drop below his waist and instead looked up at him with wide eyes.
“I had a good dinner.”
“Are you going straight home?”
“I have to.”
“Okay. Take a taxi.”
Wow. That’s too much. Who was the one who dragged me here in the first place?
“Why? Give me a ride home. Lethally!”
As Chae Soo quickened his pace toward his car, I followed the suit. How much would a taxi cost from here to my place? This sly, evil man. Why did he even buy me such an expensive meal?
“Where are you going, Senior?”
“Home.”
“The house below mine?”
“Yeah.”
“…Then can we go together?”
“I don’t want crazy people in my car.”
Ouch. Did he really have to throw in the crazy part?
I looked at him with the most innocent and pitiful expression I could muster.
“I’ll go quietly without saying a word.”
“… … .”
“I won’t even mention about my chest.”
At that, Chae Soo let out an exasperated laugh, stared at me for a moment, then answered by unlocking the passenger-side door. What kind of push-and-pull game was this if he was going to let me in anyway?
“Don’t even open your mouth.”
I nodded, inhaling the last bit of air in my mouth. Haa. A long sigh followed. I wasn’t about to complain. I got dinner and a ride home.
Wait. Hold on.
Dinner.
Wasn’t it Chae Soo who suddenly suggested we have dinner together? I was the one trying to smooth over last night’s incident. He was the one still thinking about it. And he didn’t even acknowledge my apology…
He’s good at twisting things around.
I might have brought up the topic of my chest, but it wasn’t something to get that offended over. Why did he look so disgusted?
On the other hand, my pride was a little bruised. My chest wasn’t that bad. I had never bragged about it, but every guy I had dated had been very enthusiastic about it.
So, in that sense, my proposal of an equivalent exchange had been reasonable. This was only if he was the one asking for compensation, of course. Even if he liked men, wouldn’t he at least be curious about a woman’s body?
Curiosity.
In the end, that’s what it was.
Even if he knew nothing about women’s bodies, I knew men’s. Wasn’t this like waving the scent of fried chicken in front of someone who had already tasted it but could never have it again?
Like a phantom, Chae Soo’s well-built physique surfaced in my mind. That was why I had avoided him all day. I was afraid that if I let my thoughts wander too much, I would start rationalizing them—convincing myself that it was okay to keep entertaining these ideas.
I bit my lip, stared outside the car window, and shut my eyes tightly.
“Han Yeon-doo.”
“… … .”
“I called you.”
“…Why?”
“Are you in pain? You keep groaning.”
My heart ached.
Because it was greedy for something it could never have.
“It’s nothing.”
“What do you mean, nothing?”
“…Just drop me off at the convenience store near my place.”
“Why?”
“I want to buy some beer.”
My heart felt like a soggy potato chip—soft, stale, and unbearably salty.
Maybe it was because I hadn’t dated anyone in so long. When was my last relationship? A year ago? Maybe if I met someone new, these perverted thoughts would go away naturally. But would any new guy really be comparable to Chae Soo?
“Han Yeon-doo, are you crying?”
“Who’s crying?”
“Your eyes look watery.”
“It’s just natural moisture.”
Chae Soo, who had been sneaking glances at my face, snickered and turned the steering wheel as the traffic light changed. I wasn’t really crying. But for some reason, I suddenly wanted to.
I let out a deep sigh as my bottled-up frustration pressed down on my chest.
“What’s with the sigh?”
“I’m just saying… reality is so… so unfair.”
“What’s so unfair?”
At first, his tone sounded almost affectionate. But his words cruelly pierced through my ears.
Who would understand this injustice?
I had seen things I shouldn’t have. Learned things I never needed to know.
As if I had opened Pandora’s box, all sorts of negative emotions flooded in.
“I don’t know what to say, Senior. Stop here in front… What? I told you to stop?”
“Go home and get a good night’s sleep. Why are you even drinking beer? You have a meeting tomorrow morning. You drank soju yesterday too.”
I said I would buy and drink it with my own money. It’s not like I want to eat something else… I narrowed my eyes at Chae Soo, wondering if I really couldn’t have something as simple as this.
“I heard you have a cold.”
“…Me?”
“So, since I paid a lot of money for you to eat that delicious soup, don’t waste it.”
Did I have a cold? Oh, that was just an excuse to avoid Chae Soo. Now I wonder why this is happening. It seems like I’m not the only one who finds this strange.
“If you suddenly treat me like this, I might misunderstand.”
“What are you misunderstanding?”
“They say that when a person suddenly changes, it means it’s time for them to die.”
“…What?”
The car smoothly entered the parking lot and came to a slanted stop. It seemed like even the thought of beer had disappeared. Maybe Chae Soo had a change of heart after passing out in the elevator yesterday. Maybe he met his ancestors in that brief moment.
When a horn blared from behind, Chae Soo, who had been scanning my face for a long time, turned away and parked in an empty space.
“To be frank, you weren’t the kind of person who cared about other’s well being all this time.”
“It was you, who just assumed it.”
The hand that was unbuckling my seatbelt stopped. What is this awkward atmosphere? The air suddenly felt heavy, turning the tips of my fingers white as I gripped the belt. If it was me, then… was he really worried about me?
“I live my life always worrying about you.”
“…Why?”
“What’s the big deal? It’s because I never know when you ‘Han Yeon-doo’ might have an accident.”
“Oh.”
“And you act like that in front of other men too…”
Chae Soo’s gaze, which had momentarily flickered toward my chest, quickly darted away as if he had seen something he shouldn’t have. His ears, turned away from me, seemed to have turned red—perhaps because of the headlights shining from afar.
“What do you mean?”
“Han Yeon-doo, you need to think before you speak.”
“I know that too.”
“If you know, be careful about what you say.”
I unbuckled my seatbelt without saying another word. My mouth, which had been running without control, seemed to know when to shut up.
“No matter how comfortable I am with you, Han Yeon-doo…”
“It’s not because of I am comfortable.”
“That’s good. Anyway, be careful. I’m a man too.”
“Aren’t you my manager?”
“Han Yeon-doo, I literally just told you to think before you speak.”
“No, Senior, you are a man. You are, but…”
“…Where are you looking now?”
Oh my, when did my eyes go down there again? Under his sharp gaze, I slowly turned my rolling eyes back to him. At my awkward smile, Chae Soo looked utterly exasperated.
