Chapter 61
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“This has become a complete mess.”
Dongbaek carefully placed the floating flower in Lily’s round ear. The white flower buds clustered beneath the flower ornament made for a beautiful sight, despite her being thoroughly drenched.
“Here, a gift for you.”
“Thank y—ah, achoo!”
Before she could finish her words, a loud sneeze cut through the air between them. At Lily’s sneeze, Dongbaek quickly scooped her up.
“You might catch a cold at this rate. We shouldn’t stay here any longer.”
Dongbaek effortlessly lifted Lily and waded through the pond with splashing steps.
Though the weather wasn’t cold, the sunken waters were still chilly. A subtle coldness brushed past Dongbaek’s ankles. Holding Lily in her arms, Dongbaek rushed out of the pond and ran straight to Lily’s room.
Only after reaching the room did Lily finally find her feet on solid ground again. Still dazed by the sudden turn of events, Lily stared blankly at Dongbaek.
“Change out of those wet clothes quickly. Spring colds are nothing to take lightly.”
“…Yes! You should change quickly too, my lord! Spring colds can be quite severe!”
Lily pushed Dongbaek’s back, sending her to her own room. Though Lily’s push was gentle, Dongbaek obediently returned to her chamber.
The room was dark. But instead of lighting a lamp, Dongbaek immediately began removing her formal robe upon entering. Time was short. Unable to carelessly discard the robe Lily had gifted her, she neatly folded it and draped it over a chair.
But there was no time to be careful with the other clothes. As she hastily stripped, her wet clothes fell at her feet. The chest binding was completely soaked and sticky. The wet leather became tighter and stiffer, making it unbearable to wear. Moreover, keeping wet leather against her skin might cause mold to grow.
Dongbaek tried to undo the binding’s straps. But perhaps because they too were leather, they wouldn’t easily come undone. In her urgency, she fumbled several times. Only after creating a gap with her fingernails could Dongbaek finally remove the chest binding.
“This is quite difficult.”
Dongbaek sighed in relief as she dropped the barely-removed chest binding. Plop. The water-soaked leather hit the floor heavily.
Ignoring how the water was spreading across the floor, Dongbaek moved to get fresh clothes, nearly naked.
Her pure white body gleamed softly in the darkness. Though muscular, her still-immature body was slender. The sight of her lithe silhouette striding through the darkness created a somehow mismatched, strange scene.
Dongbaek took clothes from the wardrobe. After placing one of the neatly folded garments on top of the wardrobe, she bent down to retrieve a spare chest binder she kept tucked away in the back.
“Caw!”
Just then, Jao’s cry rang out. A short, warning cry. Alerted by the noise, Dongbaek hastened her movements. She barely had time to react before a familiar, melodic voice broke through the silence.
“Shall I help you dress, my lord?”
Finding the dark room strange, Lily stepped inside. Dongbaek looked at her in panic. And Lily did the same.
Moonlight cutting through the darkness illuminated Dongbaek. Though her suppressed chest was flat enough to make gender indistinguishable, the intimate parts visible lower down were unmistakably female.
She had been discovered.
At a loss for words, Dongbaek stood there helplessly. A moment of carelessness was all it took, and bearing the consequences was always exhausting. She was at a loss for how to explain or resolve this situation.
The moonlight was suddenly covered by clouds, instantly darkening the room. Dongbaek’s expression was also hidden in shadow, making it impossible to read. But her pure white naked form remained distinctly visible, glowing with a bluish tint.
A heavy silence fell between them. Neither could speak easily. In Dongbaek’s case, she had nothing to offer but excuses that wouldn’t be believed, while Lily’s thoughts were still too chaotic from confusion to form coherent thoughts.
“…Ah…”
A faint sound escaped Lily’s lips, choked and trembling. She wanted to deny what she was seeing, to reject this as reality. Her entire body trembled as she grappled with the truth. Her small, delicate lips opened and closed repeatedly, unable to voice the reality now dawning in her mind.
Dongbaek broke the silence between them first with a sigh. She couldn’t stay naked forever. She at least draped the outer robe she had placed on the wardrobe over her bare body. The pure white skin that had been glowing bluish just moments ago disappeared beneath navy blue silk.
Though Dongbaek tried her best to hide the tremors, it wasn’t easy. Her hands kept slipping as she tried to tie her waistband.
“A… a woman? You were a woman?”
Lily’s voice was halting and uncertain, thick with shock and disbelief. Her legs gave out beneath her, and she stumbled, barely managing to catch herself on the arm of a nearby chair. Her voice was so small and fragile, laden with tears, that it tugged painfully at Dongbaek’s heart.
Dongbaek felt sorry seeing Lily like this. On Lily’s birthday, when she had promised to make her happier than anyone else to make up for being shunned by her father.
Yet now, of all times, this was the moment her secret had to be revealed.
Dongbaek thought bitterly to herself that Lily would have every right to resent her. After all, it was Dongbaek herself who had created this divide that prevented Lily from receiving even a single birthday blessing from her father.
And yet, despite everything, all Dongbaek could do was nod silently in acknowledgment of Lily’s words.
“…That is correct.”
“Back then, when you said you couldn’t love me, couldn’t feel affection for me—this is what you meant?”
“Yes.”
Her small, soft white hands clutching her skirt hem trembled. Lily’s gaze was fixed on Dongbaek’s feet. Her delicate, long toes seemed nailed to that spot.
Lily’s dark brown eyes took on a purple tinge. Her large eyes stared at Dongbaek without wavering. A dark cloud passed over her usually sunny smile.
The cry that burst from the girl’s throat was almost violent in its intensity.
“So, just—just for this trivial reason! You pleaded with me like that because you thought I wouldn’t love you?”
The Dongbaek she loved was still as beautiful as ever. Her serene, elegantly furrowed brow, her cool, piercing gaze—all remained unchanged.
She clearly remembered the moment when warm affection for her had filled those eyes—how could she not love someone like Dongbaek just because she had hidden her gender?
Because she was a woman? Because she had concealed it from her? Could she really hate her for such reasons?
Her feelings for Dongbaek were not the fleeting affections of a child. They were love—a love tinged with reverence and adoration, one that surpassed mere admiration. Even as her head cooled and logic tried to assert itself, her heart asked her in return,
Would you abandon the one you cherish so dearly simply because of her gender?
“I-I would have been happy even as Young Master So’s concubine. But Young Master So said he would take me as his wife, and his only wife at that. That consideration and kindness is enough for me. I… I don’t expect Young Master So’s love. It would be too much for someone like me.”
Had she lied, then, when she told Madam Geum that her feelings would never falter—that her love was not so fleeting or shallow?
“Even though Young Master So said I could go to someone else, I won’t! Who do they think would let go of Young Master So? As long as he doesn’t abandon me, I won’t let go of him either. No matter who he is!”
Would her love for Dongbaek crumble, just because she was a woman?
No.
Lily shook her head firmly. A stubborn resolve flared in her heart, one that felt almost childish but was undeniably hers. She would not—could not—let go of Dongbaek.
She could not bear to see Dongbaek’s tender, caring gaze, her affection—even if it was only sibling-like in nature—belong to someone else.
She would not surrender her place.
She refused to let go.
Lily thought she could never let go. It had been a lie when she said she’d be fine as a concubine. She didn’t want to be second to anyone in Dongbaek’s life.
The revelation that Dongbaek was a woman only made Lily’s determination grow stronger. She felt an odd sense of joy knowing that, as a woman herself, she could be Dongbaek’s only partner.
Her pure childish love had deepened and deepened further, becoming a selfish possessiveness. But even that blindness was childlike in its way.
Lily removed the apple blossom that Dongbaek had placed in her hair.
Dongbaek feared Lily would cast the flower aside in anger, rejecting it along with everything it symbolized. Though she had prepared for everything, being denounced and pushed away by someone who had shown her affection wasn’t easy to bear. With each step Lily took toward her, Dongbaek’s heart constricted nauseously.
But contrary to Dongbaek’s fears, Lily carefully tucked Dongbaek’s hair behind her ear with her fingertips. The grayish-brown hair flowed down softly. Then, with the utmost care, Lily placed the flower by Dongbaek’s ear.
“It suits you well.”
Lily stretched out her arms and embraced Dongbaek. She could smell the pond moss, sweet perfume, and underneath, Dongbaek’s sharp natural scent.
There was no need to sort out her confused feelings. Even knowing Dongbaek was a woman, her heart still fluttered for her. When she embraced her, her heart felt like it would burst, and just looking at her face left her speechless.
Lily tilted her head up to meet Dongbaek’s gaze. In the faint light, her reflection appeared in Dongbaek’s soft, light-colored eyes. It was only then that Lily realized she had been crying all along, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Lily reached out to touch Dongbaek’s cheek. It was soft.
“I’m still your only woman and wife, right?”
Though she asked with a bright smile, her cheeks were wet with tears. Dongbaek reached out carefully, as if handling fragile glass, and wiped away the tears on Lily’s cheeks.
“You are the only wife I’ll have in my lifetime.”
“You won’t push me away first?”
“How could I?”
“Then we’ll be together for life.”
Lily smiled, her eyes curving brightly. Her smile was melancholic yet filled with unshakeable determination.
Lily’s words reassured Dongbaek. Her heart, which had been pounding with fear until just moments ago, began to flutter for a different reason.
Without thinking, Dongbaek pulled Lily into her arms once more. The petite girl fit perfectly against her, her head resting just below Dongbaek’s chin.
“Thank you.”
Though it was barely more than a whisper to herself, Lily heard it clearly.
“It doesn’t matter that you’re a woman. Even if you dismiss this as childish nonsense from someone who can’t fully grasp reality yet, it doesn’t matter. You are the only one for me.”
Lily spoke while looking into Dongbaek’s eyes again. Their gazes met. This was Lily’s determination to convey her sincerity directly to her.
For the first time since receiving the chest binding, Dongbaek slept without it. That night’s dream was sweet and peaceful, allowing her to sleep deeply for once.
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Thank you for reading! ♡
Also, I’ve picked up a new novel!
| When the Main Bottom Becomes an Obsessive Top [NEW] BL, Fantasy, Romance, School Life, Slice of Life “Let’s be together forever.” |
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