Chapter 6 – Past – Sin
Translator: MadHatter Editor: MadHatter
The king’s company went hunting at noon that day. Hunting served both recreational and practical purposes for aristocracy and nobility. They could hone their military prowess in preparation for a war that may erupt at any time, but more than anything else, they relished the pleasure of playing with their prey and just riding on their horses beneath the clear sky.
Elias was an avid hunter. Among his brothers, he was the most proficient. It was a great opportunity to relieve his sorrows and to take credit for his efforts. It was a rare occasion for an official event to be so dull and uneventful.
Each of them started moving as soon as the signal was heard. Elias caressed his beloved horse before starting to ride lightly. His target was a deer. He pursued the magnificent deer for a long time before eventually driving it into the ground and delivering it the finishing blow.
His family, on the other hand, cast him a look of indifference that was beyond unbearable upon his return while he received applause from the others.
The obese king had always favored relaxation above physical activity. The Third and Fourth Princes, as well as the Princess, who were all in attendance, were all conversing and laughing in an exquisite manner, but the king did not even make the slightest sign of pursuing his favorite mistress or bother with any of them.
The Second Prince, on the other hand, took part in the hunt but appeared to fall from his horse early in the game despite having a mediocre athletic ability. He and his mother were sobbing together, which was not the behavior of a man over 20 years old.
The king, at last, noticed the achievement of the prince as Elias firmly gripped his bow.
“It was a noble cause.”
In spite of his annoyance, the Fifth Prince seemed to take it for granted that his father should have acknowledged it, and he answered the king’s question. His father’s attitude was so blatant that it was almost laughable.
“…I missed it the first time and managed to finish it the second time.”
“I see.”
“I suppose my skill has gone rusty since it was my first hunt in a very long time.”
“You managed to finish it off, didn’t you? What are you still unsatisfied with?”
He would have felt better if he could have spat on his father’s round face. Yet Elias persevered. Both tolerance and respect were required of him. After all, the whole crowd was watching him.
“Elias is a very easy child to handle. He does everything for me.”
Perhaps the awkwardness was indeed too much. The queen also patted the Second Prince’s head and spoke.
Elias turned his head back.
“Where are you going? You are going to offer everyone the deer you killed, aren’t you?”
He replied with his back turned to the others, “It’s been a long time since I hunted, so I’m going to… cool off a little.”
“Are you injured, if so, you should be treated.”
Even before those words were finished, Elias mounted his horse and galloped off, shaking off his attendants. He eventually found himself all alone, and he still couldn’t bring himself to even scream at the mere thought of it. There was nowhere outside where he could relax his vigilance. He had no way of knowing where or who may be observing in the forest.
So Elias laughed. He laughed so hysterically that his voice was hoarse. He continued to laugh until he stopped mid-ride, dismounted, wildly entered the river, and washed his face.
This should not have been allowed. For a man, a prince, to shed tears in the presence of others. Even more so, not from sorrow, not even from joy, but from humiliation.
The water washed away the traces of his defeat, as one would expect. Yet, the scars in his heart were not healed, but rather, they were sore and suppurated.
When Elias returned, he was uncertain if he was doing a good job of mending his appearance in front of the deer to be disemboweled. The people Elias wanted to see and talk to were always someone else, and the people Elias didn’t care about were the only ones who came up to him and tried to elevate his status.
Who was it? One of the men who had been pursuing the deer with him came forward and tried to formulate a standard phrase, like several others. He did, however, appear to observe Elias’ rigid, excruciatingly distorted face. The man cast a quick glance over to those sat over there, who appeared to be having fun despite the icy stare that was directed to them and then to those over here, where the atmosphere was cordial but somewhat vapid. Did the man, too, have an unintended remark that forcibly left out his thinly parted lips but hadn’t intended to say? Even if no one else heard it, it was clearly conveyed to the person who should not have been allowed to hear it the least.
“How pitiful.”
The man did indeed say so. He was saying what he thought was the plain and honest truth to the poor, dull-witted Fifth Prince.
Elias realized at that moment that he had finally let his emotions out, even slightly.
Perhaps the moment the man laughed it off for what he blurted out, the prince’s eyes flared with indignation. The man awkwardly averted his eyes, and without a word of dismissal, he quickly slipped away.
Elias was left alone, his body simmering with an even harsher heat, almost to the point of boiling over.
Why is this permitted?
That is the king, that is the prince, that is the queen, and these are the courtiers. In the first place, that is my family, that is my blood.
Why am I like this? I have worked so arduously to improve my academic performance and martial arts skills. And yet, I have been mocked so much, and there is not even anything I can do to change it. Even at the age of fifteen, what the hell is this!
Elias’ bloodshot eyes spontaneously darted to the barrel of liquor – the forbidden liquid that served as a custom for adults, strengthening a man and consoling his soul.
“Kitty, Kitty, where are you! Your master is back―come back now, do you want to be killed!”
As soon as he returned to his room, he called his obedient servant wildly and loudly. Even though it was late, had she been up all night waiting for him? She arrived soon, flying in. When Kitty noticed her owner, who was noticeably different than normal, her ears perked up. She was undoubtedly stunned by the intoxicating odor that filled the space. Elias seized her by the collar and peered into her anguished face.
“You follow my instructions. It’s only you who will carry out my instructions―isn’t that right, answer me!”
When he screamed at her, the girl’s eyes startled, but her expression instantly relaxed to show an affirmative response. Elias recognized the girl’s complete lack of fear, even in this situation, and realized he had lost his composure. The prince chuckled in a vulgar way, grasping the girl by the collar and dragging her toward the back of the room.
“Listen, Kitty. I am not a child anymore. I am an adult. I am a grown man. I even hunted a deer. I can speak three foreign languages. I have read all the books assigned to me, and I have memorized every word of them.”
The girl who had been hurled onto the bed was coughing as if she were in pain. Elias mounted her without a care.
“I am such a remarkable man, I deserve to be rewarded, don’t you agree!”
His clothing ripping made a sound like a woman screaming. Even though Kitty’s ears and tail were twitching, she didn’t seem to mind, and she still showed no resistance as ever.
The girl watched herself getting stripped and Elias’ upper body being revealed while quietly being forced to do what she was ordered.
After removing the obstruction, the boy offered the foolish girl a gentle smile.
“Comfort me, Kitty. You’re the only one who can.”
―That was why Kitty was the greatest stain of Elias’ life.
Indeed, treating a beast like this was acceptable in human society. They were demi-human. They were people, yet they were not people at all.
But Elias was severely ashamed of having exposed all of himself and of venting his emotions on anybody, even his own slave. Remorse was all that was left once the raging passion had passed, and then―
What Elias had done should have been an act of violence. It was an act that would never have been tolerated by someone he trusted.
Any beast that has been harmed should be physiologically repulsed. Violence was a primal force and therefore always a sin.
But even then, when she was being violated, Kitty—this obediently faithful girl—did not once reject Elias. She did not find Elias’ treatment of her repulsive.
She would make such a face reflexively if she was hurt, as when her collar was tightened. But immediately afterward, she would put on a beaming face and look at Elias with different-colored eyes, as if to say, “I’m very happy.” It was as if to say that what Elias had done was of no consequence to her.
The moment her tail tangled around his leg, Elias briefly snapped out of it and looked down at her.
The girl had a beguilingly content smile on her face and suspiciously sparkling eyes. The fluttering line of a red tongue licking at her mouth stuck to the back of his eyelids, refusing to part.
Elias, the boy, had erred beyond redemption. That night, he also had a vague understanding.
The suspicion about the girl he was supposed to be domesticating.
It was something he had felt for three years, but had always suppressed.
On the next morning, when the girl woke up, she looked exactly the same as usual, and she was all smitten with Elias. He watched her nuzzle her head against him, and felt goosebumps rise on his skin―and then he made the resolution to split up with her.
He was terrified. Of the girl. Of his own skin, which would be peeled away when he came into contact with the girl. And to find himself staring at what was underneath, which he would one day be forced to confront.
Under the pretext of saying he was no longer the proper master for her, that he had become too reliant on her, and that it was a necessary stage of developing, Elias tore the girl from him.
And so he decided to shove all the nightmares into the back of his recollection and forget about them.
The truth was, Elias had an intuitive realization. If he kept this girl by his side, he would be doomed. Perhaps his sense of crisis was correct.
Nevertheless, even if he did grasp it, it would not change the reality that he was still a fool and that everything was already too late by the time he understood it.
“You left me once and cast me aside. Because you had no more use for me. It was an easy decision for you without any regrets.”
After a dream in which the past was recalled, he heard someone speaking to him softly and faintly from outside the realm of consciousness. Even though he shouldn’t have heard that voice before, he had a strange sense of nostalgia.
“But, milord. I do remember. We loved each other that much. To deny that it happened would be too awful. Do you not agree?”
Elias awakened with a groan.
With a jerk, he moved quickly, and there was a clattering sound around his hand.
