Episode 9
“This power isn’t like that. What dwells within me is a filthy monster. It destroys, ruins, shatters, and ultimately, it takes everything I have.”
“That…?”
“So, Lady, it would be better if you didn’t come any closer to me.”
His expression, as he spoke, cutting off my attempt to rebut his words, appeared far more agonized than it had been up until now.
The moment I saw him in that state, I realized.
He was living a desperate life in a terrible hell.
He lived a life where he received no acknowledgment, no hospitality, from himself or anyone else.
I knew that others pointed fingers at him with blood on their hands, but I never realized that he thought of himself that way.
Later, when I pledged to eliminate all those things that had ensnared him and grant him freedom, I thought it was a matter confined to external issues.
That’s why I later tried to persuade the emperor, pressure the nobility, and manipulate the temple to resolve things in that direction.
But…
It seemed like that wouldn’t solve his problems at all.
‘Perhaps it’s quite challenging, after all.’
But that doesn’t mean I can easily give up.
With my decision once again firm, I took a deep breath and cleared my mind for a moment.
Then, I got up from my seat and approached him around the long table.
I felt his gaze following the direction of my movement, as if he were curious about what I was up to.
As soon as I reached Lloydin, I met his eyes without avoiding his gaze.
“You’re not a filthy monster.”
I said this and firmly held his hand.
“Look. Can you see that my complexion seems to be improving? I can feel it when I touch you. It’s like the life force that was dying inside me is coming back to life.”
The changes within my body, as if every cell was dancing with energy, were unmistakable.
As our hands touched, I felt weariness dissipating and gazed at him with affection and urgency.
Believe in my words and, most importantly, believe in yourself.
Clearly, showing him the proof had the desired effect, as his eyes wavered.
I opened my mouth to address what I had planned to discuss to drive the point home.
“Now, you must know that I need you, Lord Lloydin. However, it doesn’t mean I want help for nothing. I want to propose a deal.”
“A deal… Then, what can I gain from it?”
The word “deal” seemed to send shivers down his spine, but I reassured myself that it was just a misconception.
“During this punitive expedition, I heard that the power sealed within you will soon be put on trial.”
Listening to the stories of the Tifati was exhausting, but it had its uses.
Despite thinking I had done well by bringing him here, Lloydin’s unexpected response caught me off guard.
“It’s not true.”
“Not true?”
“I had to return to the capital urgently. But I didn’t use more power than necessary.”
“If you had to return to the capital urgently…”
However, he remained silent and said no more.
Reading his intent not to reveal more, I nodded in understanding.
It turned out that what everyone had believed to be an indisputable fact wasn’t true.
I recalled a conversation I had with my brother Luke a few days ago.
He had told me that this time, the punitive expedition was going to be particularly challenging and demanding, taking longer than usual.
‘Perhaps everyone in the Empire thought the same as my brother,’ I thought.
Was that why everyone was so certain that Lloydin Blighton had used excessive power when he returned quickly, shattering their expectations?
But it was spreading as if it were the absolute truth, even though it really wasn’t.
Would everyone necessarily suspect him just because he returned quickly?
My answer was “no.”
War always had unforeseen variables, didn’t proceed as expected, even in times of peace, and anyone born in such times understood that.
But there was only one reason for the situation to have reached this point.
There was clearly someone behind the scenes.
Someone was orchestrating all of this, wanting Lloydin to crumble from false accusations.
“There are many who wish for my death.”
After arriving at this conclusion, I looked at him, and it seemed that he understood the meaning in my eyes. Lloydin spoke in a resigned voice.
I couldn’t deny what he said.
It reminded me of what the Tifati had said earlier.
To protect the Empire, they utilized his power, but they also feared the power of the Blighton family itself.
That’s why they were trying to find any way to control and dominate the Blighton family.
If Ian Blighton had been a little older, a little stronger, Lloydin might have been unjustly killed.
‘Who in the world, who trapped Lloydin?’As he spoke, I wondered who among the many people wishing for Lloydin’s death was behind this incident. Could it be just one person?
Although we were not yet on friendly terms, anger was gradually building up within me.
Unconsciously, I realized that I was still holding onto Lloydin’s hand, and I clenched my fist, about to release it.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
I quickly apologized and tried to let go of Lloydin’s hand, but this time, it was him who grabbed my hand.
My hand was hardly visible in his large hand.
In that moment, a strange stillness filled the reception room. We didn’t take our eyes off each other, only feeling the warmth of our joined hands in the quiet room.
His hand was warm yet rough.
Through it, I could sense how challenging and harsh his life had been.
After a while, as he gently let go of my hand, a calm and low voice resonated through the reception room.
“I can handle my anger by myself.”
“But knowing that it could affect your position as a lord… how can you…”
“It’s okay. I’m used to it.”
“Don’t say that. You shouldn’t get used to such things.”
It was saddening.
And I was so angry.
I knew it, but the Empire was subjecting him to a harsher burden than I had imagined.
“I’ll help. No, the Anaïs family will help the Blighton family. We’ll uncover all those who slandered you…”
“It can’t be done.”
“What?”
“Even if they were to find those who slandered me, no one would take our family’s side.”
“But…”
“Lady, it’s impossible.”
Lloydin shook his head firmly.
He seemed already resigned to such matters, as he was too familiar with them.
“Are you just going to let this happen to you, Lord?”
But I was not going to stand by and do nothing.
I wasn’t accustomed to such situations, and I didn’t know if I could make a difference, but I couldn’t just sit idly by; it wasn’t in my nature.
“You must know how this will affect you, Lord. But what about the younger brother left behind? Are you going to leave that child alone?”
When I mentioned Ian Blighton, Lloydin’s eyes hardened, and his expression became rigid.
“I must stay still to protect my brother.”
“No, to protect your brother, you must not do nothing, but resist.”
“If I resist, they will drag my brother into hell as well.”
They?
Seeing Lloydin refer to those who slandered him as “they,” it seemed he knew who they were.
“Do you know who they are?”
I asked with a desperate voice, but once again, he showed his intention not to reveal who they were and remained silent.
“I won’t leave it like this.”
Even if he didn’t tell me, it didn’t matter.
I was a member of the Anaïs family.
Up until now, there was only this frail body of mine that I couldn’t do anything about, no matter how much I wanted to.
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