Episode 87

“I will return safely, so please don’t worry.”

“…How can I not worry?”

“Then worry just a little. I promise I will come back without a single scratch. I promised you.”

His words, telling me to worry just a little, made me let out a hollow laugh.

“I’m more worried about you. I’m afraid you’ll fall into a deep sleep again while I’m away.”

“I’ll be fine. Ian is here, and my health has really improved.”

I replied with a deliberately bright smile.

“That’s a relief. But still, please be careful.”

“I will. You must also be careful, Duke.”

“Yes, I will.”

As soon as we finished saying what we needed to, a silence settled over the bedroom.

I stared at Lloydin, wanting to remember his appearance exactly as it was.

He didn’t avoid my gaze and kept his eyes fixed on me.

It was almost time to let him go.

But my heart couldn’t let him go.

It was too sad, lonely, and hollow to send him off like this.

I wanted to say more to hold onto him.

Just as I was about to speak.

“We… huh!”

His lips suddenly pressed against mine.

Though his kiss was bold, his hands gently cupped my cheeks, as if worried I might get hurt by his armor.

But this wasn’t what I wanted.

I wanted to feel him closer, more intimately.

Without breaking the kiss, I started to sit up.

Noticing my movement, Lloydin supported me, making it easier to rise.

Standing up from the bed, I was slightly taller than him now.

I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and focused on the sensation of his lips.

The thick armor was a frustrating barrier, making me hug him tighter.

The kiss continued, making it hard to breathe, until finally, our lips parted.

I had promised not to cry, but tears fell anyway.

Lloydin wiped my eyes and cheeks, but more tears kept flowing.

As he silently comforted me by stroking my cheek, the tears eventually stopped.

“…I’ll be back.”

“…Yes. Come back safely.”

“Don’t come out.”

“No, I want to see you off. I really do.”

I quickly moved to get out of bed.

But Lloydin, moving even faster, held me back.

“If you come, I won’t be able to leave. Let’s say goodbye here.”

“But…”

Seeing him off until the very end was my duty and role.

But his resolute demeanor left me with no choice but to nod reluctantly.

“Alright. I’ll see you off from here.”

“Thank you, my lady.”

With those words, Lloydin turned away and walked forward.

I bit my lip hard to suppress the urge to run after him and hug his back.

His departure from the room felt both slow and fast.

The door opened.

I thought he might look back at least once, but he didn’t glance at me even once.

And then the door closed.

I quickly moved to the window.

I wanted to see him until the very end, even if it was just through the window.

Soon, Lloydin appeared at the entrance of the mansion.

‘Please.’

Please look up at me.

I prayed silently, hoping he would glance up.

But even as he mounted his horse, he never looked towards the room.

He and the horse moved away from me.

I understood his feelings, but my heart ached, and tears welled up again.

As I watched his retreating figure through blurry eyes, something happened.

Just before he passed through the main gate, his horse stopped suddenly, almost miraculously.

And then…

Though the distance made it hard to see clearly, I knew.

I knew he had turned to look back at where I was.

The fact that he looked back melted away my earlier disappointment.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and waved vigorously so he could see me.

I imagined he was smiling at me.

I felt that he was.

So, I smiled brightly, hoping he could feel it.

A moment later, his horse started moving again, and he disappeared from my sight.

But I didn’t cry anymore.

Because I believed he would return.

And I reaffirmed my determination to set him free.

* * *

After a short break, Ian returned to the academy, leaving me alone in the mansion.

I took on the duties of the family in Lloydin’s stead, leading a busy schedule.

As Lloydin had said, a large subjugation force left the capital a week later.

A week.

So Lloydin had to endure alone there for a week?

What kind of strategy would send him alone like that?

No matter how hard I tried to understand, I couldn’t, and I didn’t want to.

‘I can’t just sit here any longer.’

I decided to start doing what I had planned to do once I was fully recovered.

‘I need to learn more about the Blighton family.’

I had already exhausted all the resources available to me here but had come up empty-handed. I had combed through the books in the study and subtly questioned the butler.

But annoyingly, there was no more information than what I already knew from the novel.

There was only one option left…

‘Should I visit my father?’

However, knowing that he wouldn’t easily share what he knew, I might end up empty-handed.

Moreover, he would likely disapprove of my interest in dangerous matters.

‘Should I ask my brothers?’

My brothers were also likely to be reluctant, but they were easier to persuade than my father.

‘What should I do?’

After considering several options, I decided to delay seeking help from my family. They believed that I had married Lloydin simply to recover from my illness, and I didn’t want to disturb their peace of mind.

‘Then I’ll visit the temple first.’

I had only been to the temple because of my illness when I was a child, so my memories of it were vague.

It seemed like a good idea to visit and look around, hoping to find some clues.

Although the temple was an open space for nobles to visit anytime, the Blighton family was an exception.

Before marrying Lloydin, I could have entered the temple anytime, but now the situation was different. It seemed prudent to contact them in advance.

I quickly wrote a letter to the temple.

After sending it through the butler and finishing my tasks for the day, I returned to my bedroom.

“I miss him.”

Lying alone in the large bed we used to share, I missed Lloydin even more.

He was so warm.

Comfortable and pleasant…

Every time I fell asleep in his arms, I felt a sense of security and happiness I had never experienced before.

With each passing day, my longing for him didn’t fade but accumulated layer by layer.

Hoping for his swift return, I slowly drifted to sleep.

* * *

‘What is this?’

Ah, did I fall asleep again?

Even though my condition had improved recently, I couldn’t seem to manage without Lloydin.

I felt a bit disappointed but quickly steeled myself.

Now was not the time to be overwhelmed by unhelpful emotions. I needed to get out of this dream.

Realizing I was in a dream, I hurriedly scanned my surroundings.

But something was strange.

The paths that should have extended in all directions were nowhere to be seen.

Why are there no paths?

Why…

Ah!

Just then, a memory flashed through my mind.

Daliah’s last dream when she realized she was fully healed.

When she saw no paths to wander, she no longer fell into deep sleep.

‘Is this real?’

Am I really cured?

At first, I couldn’t believe that I was finally free from the illness that had plagued me for over twenty years.

Even though I had always believed such a moment would come, it felt surreal now that it was happening.

But this unbelievable moment was indeed a reality.

It was true.

A flood of emotions overwhelmed me.

Joy, relief, frustration, gratitude, sorrow… a whirlwind of feelings came all at once, leaving me dizzy.

‘No, it’s not over yet.’

Waking up will mark the end of it all.

I regained my composure, calming my emotions.

Then I remembered how Daliah had awakened from her dream.

She said that thinking about wanting to leave would lead her out.

Just like she found a way out by focusing on her desire to leave, I needed to do the same.

‘I want to get out.’

I closed my eyes and repeated it fervently in my mind.

‘Please let me get out.’

Even with my eyes closed, I could vividly feel that familiar, dreadful space.

I kept praying for what I wanted.

‘Please let me get out.’

‘I want to leave.’

How much time passed?

Finally, the long-awaited miracle happened.

The space that had been my entire dream began to disappear as if erased by a black eraser, leaving no trace.

I prayed harder and harder.

And when everything vanished, leaving only darkness, I finally woke up.