Episode 81

In that moment, a long scar crossing the center of his chest caught my eye.

But those weren’t the only scars on his body.

His stomach, sides, arms, and more were covered with countless small wounds.

“Ah…”

A sigh escaped my lips.

How painful must it have been?

How much suffering did he endure?

How hard was it for him to heal from his injuries?

Seeing those marks, I finally felt the real danger of war that I had vaguely sensed before.

This person had truly lived a desperate life.

I felt like tears would overflow.

Feeling the sorrow and pain he had endured alone until now, my heart ached with empathy.

“Madam?”

Instead of answering, I looked at him with reddened eyes.

“Madam, what’s wrong?”

Seeing my face that seemed about to cry, Lloydin’s expression hardened.

“Are you in much pain? I need to call the doctor. Just a moment…”

“No.”

I grabbed his hand, stopping him as he hurriedly tried to call for the doctor.

“I’m fine. Everything is fine, so you don’t need to worry.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Hah, that’s a relief.”

Lloydin let out a sigh of relief.

“Then why? When you make that face, I, hah…”

An even longer sigh echoed through the room.

I hurriedly adjusted my robe under the blanket and then got up.

I shifted to make space on the bed for him to sit.

When I gestured to the empty space on the bed, Lloydin immediately sat on the edge.

“Weren’t you in pain?”

Lloydin looked puzzled at my sudden question about pain.

“This, it must have hurt.”

I pointed to the largest scar on his body.

“And this one, and this one, they all must have hurt.”

As I pointed to each small wound, he finally understood my question and gave a hollow laugh.

“I don’t remember very well.”

“You don’t remember?”

“No. I can’t know exactly when or where I got them.”

“Ah…”

I couldn’t say I didn’t understand.

He must have been hurt so often that a scar or two would just be a part of his daily life.

Seeing Lloydin talk so calmly, I felt even more bitter and troubled.

Why did this person have to live such a life?

He deserves a much better life.

In the end, I couldn’t help but feel anger towards the empire that had pushed this kind and gentle person into hell.

However, just being angry wouldn’t change anything.

I barely managed to control the overwhelming emotions and made a resolution.

‘Somehow.’

Yes, no matter what, I will definitely change things.

Just like I vowed on the day I first met him, I will use everything I have to save Lloydin from this terrible hell.

More than anything, I wished I had the strength too.

If I had the strong abilities to fight monsters like Lloydin, I could protect him.

Unfortunately, for someone like me who doesn’t even have the strength to take care of myself, it was just an empty wish.

As I let out a small laugh at my own ridiculous thoughts, I suddenly felt a gentle touch near my face.

When I looked up at Lloydin, he was softly smiling and carefully stroking my face.

“What were you thinking that made you smile?”

“I was just wishing I had the power to fight monsters like you, Duke. Then I could protect you from getting hurt.”

“I wouldn’t like that.”

“What?”

“I don’t want to bring you into such dangerous places.”

Lloydin spoke firmly, his eyes shining with determination.

“But I feel the same way.”

“You don’t like seeing me in pain?”

“Of course not.”

I answered without hesitation to his obvious question.

“Do you remember what you told me last time?”

“When?”

“Before leaving for the subjugation.”

“Oh, I remember.”

“That day, you told me not to get hurt. So I fought desperately to keep that promise to you and returned safely as a result.”

Come to think of it, he looked only a little tired when he came back this time, but otherwise he seemed fine.

“That’s right. But…”

However, that was just from what I could see on the surface.

I didn’t know that beneath his clothes, there were so many scars, and I had thought he was truly okay.

“When you’re dressed, I can’t tell. Of course, I don’t think you were trying to deceive me, but you always say you’re fine… And this scar looks recent…”

I pointed to a small scar on his forearm.

“That happened during training.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I would never lie to you. When I say I’m fine, I really am fine.”

“That’s a relief.”

I replied with a bright smile, feeling reassured.

“Or how about this? From now on, every time I return from a subjugation, you can check for yourself.”

“What? Me?”

“Yes.”

But to check, he would have to undress like this. How could I do that?

I looked up at Lloydin with a face filled with embarrassment, but he had the most serious expression.

It seemed like he was completely sincere about what he had just said.

“But that’s a bit too much…”

I felt embarrassed and shy.

I couldn’t voice my thoughts and just swallowed them.

Even though Lloydin was standing naked right in front of me, it was because of the accident in the bathroom.

Even now, my eyes were only focused on his scars, and I couldn’t look at him properly, my gaze wandering here and there.

There was no way I could properly check his body for injuries.

“I really don’t mind. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Lloydin replied with a completely indifferent expression.

“I just suggested it because I thought it would make you feel more at ease since you worry about me.”

I agreed with him.

It was much better to properly check and erase any anxiety rather than just looking at him from the outside and feeling a bit uneasy.

“Then… I’ll check from now on.”

In the end, I decided to do as he said.

‘It’s better than constantly worrying.’

Instead of taking the words of someone who always says they’re fine at face value, I felt I could be truly relieved if I checked for myself.

‘Well, I’ll get used to it if I keep seeing it.’

Of course, I wasn’t used to it at all right now, but I just decided to believe that.

“Alright. Then from now on, I will definitely have you check me.”

“Yes, let’s do that.”

A satisfied smile spread across Lloydin’s face.

He seemed very pleased for some reason.

* * *

Time passed bit by bit.

After the banquet, Ian returned to the academy, and Lloydin and I went back to our normal routine.

Living with Lloydin, I still didn’t fall into deep sleep.

Especially since the depth of our intimacy had completely changed before and after the subjugation, my body’s condition was improving faster day by day.

Holding each other every night and exchanging kisses whenever we met naturally led to this result.

“Madam, don’t you like the color of your lips?”

“Huh? No. Why?”

“You’ve been touching your lips since a while ago.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.”

I lowered my hand as naturally as possible, acting as if nothing was wrong.

I must have unconsciously touched my lips while thinking about kissing Lloydin.

“That’s a relief. Since you’re wearing a riding outfit instead of a dress, I kept your makeup very light.”

“Thank you.”

“But riding a horse… are you sure you’re okay with it?”

Lia’s face was filled with worry, remembering how I had fallen off a horse when I was young.

“It’s fine. I’m going with the Duke. Don’t worry.”

“Alright. I’ll go get your clothes then.”

“Okay.”

Today, I was going horseback riding with Lloydin.

He had promised to teach me how to ride a horse, but it had been postponed due to the monster subjugation.

Besides, I had forgotten all about riding with him because I wasn’t in the right state of mind back then. A few days ago, Lloydin brought it up first.

He wanted to keep the promise he made to me.

Since the weather was warm and we had free time, we decided to go riding together.

After putting on the riding outfit that Lia brought and finishing all the preparations, I went downstairs to the first-floor hall, where Lloydin was already waiting.

“Duke.”

“Madam.”

As soon as I saw Lloydin, I rushed to his side.

Dressed in a navy riding outfit, he looked as handsome as ever, making me sigh in admiration.

“Shall we go?”

“Yes.”

Holding hands affectionately, we stepped out of the mansion together.