Episode 8

 

On the contrary, it was the opposite, and the reason was too selfish and cruel.

 

This was because the Empire, which needed the power of Ian Blighton to oppose the demons, judged that Ian Blighton’s power was still insufficient to deal with the demons.

 

Compared to what they had thought in Tifati earlier, Ian was too young and too weak.

 

‘Really disgusting.’

 

Using the word ‘disgusting’ was an understatement for this.”

 

“To think that this kind of empire would casually hold and shake someone’s life and a whole family just for their own safety.

 

And for hundreds of years at that.

 

‘No, no.’

 

Do I really have the right to blame them?

 

I came here to use this man for my own survival, after all.

 

In that moment, as I pondered this, I hesitated more than I did when I made the bold decision to come here, unsure of what to do next.”

 

“What would you like to say to me?”

 

The embarrassed look from a moment ago disappeared, and as my hesitation grew, Lloydin spoke to me first.

 

“Well… How should I put this?”

 

How should I proceed?

 

I want to survive.

 

I really wanted to survive desperately, and I finally found a way.

 

But it was difficult to determine what was the right course of action here.

 

The desire to live and my moral standards were in conflict, and my mind was so tangled up that I couldn’t easily come to a conclusion.

 

“Please, speak freely.”

 

At that moment, his words urging me to speak freely sounded like a sweet temptation to me.

 

“Can I really… speak freely?”

 

Furthermore, like those who disgusted me, I was too selfish and weak to resist the temptation, and I placed the responsibility on him.

 

“Yes.”

 

As I watched him slowly nod, I finally made up my mind deep inside.

 

Yes.

 

I’ll start by speaking and giving him the opportunity to choose.

 

And if he declines, I’ll give up, but if he accepts my proposal, then I…

 

I swear to myself right here and now.

 

I will give him everything I have and set him free with the wings of liberty.

 

I will break the leash that has bound him and let him live his own life properly.

 

In doing so, I believe I can atone even a little bit for everything I’ve done to him today.

 

After taking a moment to gather my thoughts and calm my heart, I looked directly at him and opened my mouth.

 

“Please be my husband, Lord Lloydin Blighton.”

 

* * *

 

The heavy and quiet air filled the reception room.

 

Slightly nervous, I swallowed hard and cautiously observed his face, curious about how he would react to my words. I thought he would surely be taken aback by my sudden request to become his husband without any apparent reason, but his expression somehow remained almost unchanged.

 

I had sensed it since earlier, but he was truly an exceptional man when it came to controlling his emotions.

 

“I’m not sure what you’re saying to me right now, my lady.”

 

His voice remained unchanged from before, and for a moment, I almost felt as though I had just engaged in a very ordinary and casual conversation with him.

 

Although my experiences with people were not extensive, even with my limited experience, I knew that dealing with someone like him would be incredibly difficult and challenging.

 

It seemed like I needed to gather my wits and address him with care.

 

I couldn’t afford to hesitate or show any vulnerability.

 

I had already made my decision, and to successfully bring this to an end, it was crucial for me to lead every conversation from start to finish, rather than allowing him to dictate it.

 

“As I said, that’s what I want. I want to marry Lord Blighton.”

 

To avoid being swayed by his demeanor, I put extra strength into each word, emphasizing my determination.

 

“So…,”

 

As I spoke, for a brief moment, his gaze drifted to empty space before returning to me.

 

His intense, penetrating gaze seemed to be trying to discern the true intent behind my words.

 

“What is your reason?”

 

Instead of beating around the bush, Lloydin immediately asked me for the reason.

 

“Well…,”

 

“If you want this conversation to continue, it would be best not to lie about your feelings. We’ve never met…,” he interjected before I could answer.

 

With a sharp look in his eyes, he warned me.

 

I nodded quietly, understanding, and quickly organized my thoughts for what I had to say.

 

Even if he hadn’t warned me, I had no intention of lying to Lloydin about my situation.

 

I believed that I couldn’t obtain what I wanted by his side with falsehoods instead of the truth.

 

I needed him.

 

I had to breathe by his side, stay with him, and be close to him, not just in name but in reality.

 

That’s why I had to show him all the cards I had, and it was also the best consideration I could offer him when using him for my purposes.

 

However, I would never tell anyone, including my family, how I really learned the cure for this disease. That was the exception.

 

“If I told you I was reborn and that this is a world from a novel, and there’s a heroine in this novel who has the same illness as me, and that’s how I learned about the treatment…”

 

Who would believe that, indeed?

 

If I didn’t remember my past life, I wouldn’t believe such absurd stories myself.

 

That’s why this truth had to be sealed forever on my end.

 

‘So, I prepared my own answer…’

 

Anyway, that one lie was enough.

 

There was no need for anything else, and I didn’t want to do anything else.

 

After finishing my thoughts a moment later, I opened my mouth without any hesitation.

 

“Of course. I’ll tell the truth. It’s because I need you, my lord. More precisely, I need your power.”

 

“You are aware that my health is not good, right?”

 

“…Yes, I am.”

 

“In that case, it should be easy to talk about. I won’t live for long. Well, I probably won’t. My body is deteriorating even now.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

Observing the subtle distortion in his expression in response to my words, I continued speaking.

 

“It’s because of an illness I’ve had since birth. This illness suddenly leads me into a deep sleep. And currently, the cycles are getting shorter, and the time I spend in those sleeps is getting longer. Probably, in the end, I won’t wake up forever.”

 

“Not wake up forever means…”

 

“I’ll die.”

 

It was the first time I had told someone that I was going to die.

 

My voice came out quite composed, more so than I had thought. But from the listener’s perspective, it must have been far from composed.

 

It seemed that my words had quite an impact, as Lloydin’s face contorted much more intensely than before.

 

However, I couldn’t read his expression any longer as he lowered his head deeply, knowing that I was looking at him.

 

‘Is it sympathy, or is it discomfort?’

 

I wasn’t sure what he was thinking about my words, but both reactions were fine with me.

 

If it was sympathy for me, that was a good response. If it was discomfort about being used to avoid dying, then that was… 

 

Depending on how I could convince him from now on, I could possibly turn that discomfort into a different emotion.

 

“Lord Lloydin?”

 

I called him cautiously, and I could sense him raising his head to gaze at me intently.

 

I deliberately didn’t shy away from his piercing gaze as he was looking at me. But he was the one who turned his head away from me first.

 

“Lord Lloydin.”

 

To continue the conversation, I called him, and unexpectedly, but quite a meaningful question came from him.

 

“Aren’t you afraid of death?”

 

Is there really anyone who isn’t afraid of death? Well, maybe there is, but I certainly wasn’t that person. I came to find him because I didn’t want to die, because I wanted to live longer.

 

“There’s probably no one as enthusiastic about life as I am.”

 

It seemed like he might have misunderstood my attitude, so I quickly clarified.

 

“I’m afraid. That’s why I came to you. I believed you could save me.”

 

“In that case, my divine power might be more helpful than the power I possess. This power is not one that can save anyone.”

 

“No, it can. I know it can.”

 

We both countered each other’s words.