Because I was Terminally Ill, I Married the Male Lead's Brother, and Now He's Obsessed with Me

Episode 61

Every day when I woke up, Lloydin wasn’t by my side, so I asked where he was. He said he was training every morning.

So, half of it seemed sincere, and half of it seemed like something he said just to see me once. However, Lloydin didn’t forget it.

But then, something felt strange for a moment.

Why did Lloydin’s voice sound so close?

It sounded too loud and close, like he was speaking right into my ear.

Come to think of it, his face was too close, and it felt a little suffocating…

“Huh?”

“My lady?”

In contrast to my momentary confusion at his overly casual demeanor, I suddenly realized I was cuddling up to him.

“Ahh!”

Instinctively pushing Lloydin away, I scrambled out of his embrace, feeling flustered.

‘I, I slept hugged up to him again.’

Why does this keep happening?

I hadn’t woken up before Lloydin recently, so I didn’t realize I was cuddling up to him.

Feeling embarrassed and bewildered, my face flushed red.

Feeling too shy to look him in the eye, I noticed he was unusually quiet.

‘Why isn’t he saying anything?’

With confusion, I slowly lifted my head to look at Lloydin, who was staring at me with wounded eyes.

“Your Grace, that… um…”

“Am I, am I repulsive to you?”
TL/N: It meant he was saying, am I filthy/unclean.

“What?”

As I interrupted, an unexpected statement came out of his mouth.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Are you disgusted by the idea of me touching you?”

“It’s not that, I think there’s a misunderstanding.”

“If not, how should I interpret this situation?”

As the situation deviated from what I had anticipated, my mind became tangled.

But seeing Lloydin’s increasingly distorted expression, I snapped to attention.

If I couldn’t explain properly now, I felt like I might hurt him deeply.

“Your Grace, how could I hold your hand and sleep if I found you repulsive?”

“…”

“I’ve never once thought of you like that. In fact, I have an even stronger desire to be closer to you.”

“… You want to be closer?”

“Yes. Look at this. I was already in Your Grace’s arms. There was a time I woke up in the early morning and found myself hugging you. I promised myself not to let it happen again, but here we are. I’m so sorry for inconveniencing you, Your Grace.”

As I explained why I behaved that way just now, Lloydin’s expression subtly changed.

“You hugged me?”

I deeply apologize for my actions. I understand that I should be content with simply holding your hand while you sleep, but without realizing it, I desired more. In hindsight, perhaps it wasn’t entirely unintentional.

The last part was murmured with embarrassment, in a voice barely audible to him.

“So you’re saying you hugged me first?”

“Yes. Of course.”

Lloydin repeated the same question to me as if it were so important.

“Ah, I see.”

Then, after a moment of contemplation, I let out a long sigh.

Seeing him like that made me feel so ashamed, as if I had done something terribly wrong.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to do that, well, I did want to, but I absolutely shouldn’t have.”

This was the first time I had rambled like this while speaking, so much so that even I couldn’t understand my words.

“Why shouldn’t you?”

“What?”

Once again, an unexpected question came from him.

“Why shouldn’t my lady hug me?”

“Well, that’s…”

His asking such an obvious question left me speechless.

“Do you think I might dislike it?”

In response to his straightforward question, I vigorously nodded my head and replied.

“It’s all because of my condition that you even share a room with me and hold my hand to sleep. Yet, I’ve been more demanding, so it’s natural for you to find it annoying and unpleasant.”

I confessed my faults to him, acknowledging that I understood his feelings.

“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. Even if you decide to sleep separately from now on, I’ll be fine…”

“I didn’t dislike it.”

“What?”

“I didn’t dislike it at all. So, there won’t be any more separate rooms for us in the future.”

As I spoke, he narrowed his eyes as if something didn’t sit well with him, then firmly stated his words.

“You didn’t dislike it?”

“That’s right.”

“Are you serious?”

I couldn’t believe it, so I kept questioning him.

Lloydin nodded with a strong gaze.

While observing him intently, it dawned on me how his actions reflected his true nature – one of unparalleled kindness and genuine affection, surpassing the expectations I had previously held.

“To think he’s so considerate…”

His attitude of everything being okay even now was evident at this moment.

Once again, deeply moved by his words of not minding even though it might make me uncomfortable, I felt touched.

“Then… can I keep hugging you in the future?”

And being the greedy person that I am, I didn’t want to miss this opportunity.

“Yes.”

“You shouldn’t just say it’s all fine like that. If you say it’s okay, then I can only accept it that way.”

Still, there was a shred of conscience left, urging him to speak up if he truly disliked it.

But what if he really did dislike it? A feeling of unease crept up in my heart.

Then it happened.

As if he had read my gaze, Lloydin hugged me tightly.

As expected, a stronger sensation than when we were holding hands coursed through my body.

I hesitated for a moment, looking bewildered in his embrace, then didn’t miss the chance to hug him tightly.

“Thank you. Even so, Your Grace might find it difficult, so I’ll only do this occasionally.”

“You don’t need to.”

“No, if Your Grace feels uncomfortable, please don’t hesitate to tell me. Okay?”

“That won’t happen.”

As his resolute tone conveyed his unwavering intention not to reject me, a smile naturally spread across my face.

‘What a good person.’

How did I end up marrying such a good person?

How did I become so lucky to meet such a good person?

I was overwhelmed by his kind gaze and the profound expression of love on his face. It was so touching that it almost brought tears to my eyes.

With that realization, a surge of reluctance washed over me, not wanting to let him go.

‘No, I can’t do this.’

This was still a marriage based on mutual purposes, and using my illness as an excuse to cling onto him was not right.

Lloydin would eventually find someone he loved, and when that happened, I would…

‘Oh, this can’t be.’

Suddenly realizing the pain that would tear me apart just by imagining it, I understood.

I, I like this person.

Just the thought of someone else being by his side was enough to make it difficult, and I had already given my heart to him.

On a morning when warm sunlight poured in, realizing my feelings for him in the warmth of his embrace, I had to try hard not to show Lloydin my tearful state for quite a while.

* * *

On the day we faced the New Year together, my mind was in turmoil because of my realization of feelings for Lloydin, so I forgot to talk to him about the petition.

So, the next day, I immediately informed him of the result of the petition.

His expression then was somewhat similar to Ian’s, yet subtly different.

I couldn’t quite understand what it meant.

There were various emotions mixed in, only those who had experienced so much could have.

And a few days later, the New Year dawned.

Ever since the day Lloydin woke me up to accompany him on his training, I often woke up early and went with him.

Despite the cold winter wind, Lloydin’s clothes were always soaked with sweat after training.

Seeing a man who usually moves calmly on the serene waters exerting himself in intense exercise, I couldn’t help but smile.

I purposely followed him, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, just to watch him.

Today, too, after Lloydin finished his training, he came over to me.

“Finished?”

“Yes, I’m done. Aren’t you cold?”

Lloydin reached out to me, firmly holding out his slightly dripping coat.

“It’s a little less chilly than yesterday.”

“Thank goodness. But it’s still chilly. Let’s go inside quickly.”

“Yes. Let’s go.”

Smiling warmly at Lloydin, I firmly held his hand.