Episode 50
“I’ll do that.”
“Yes. Oh, I feel like I’ve taken up a lot of the Duke’s time. I’ll take my leave then.”
Feeling that a considerable amount of time had passed, I hastily got up from the sofa.
“Madam.”
Just as I was about to take a step, Lloydin suddenly gave me a regretful look and grabbed my hand.
As a lively energy flowed from him to me, my heart started pounding louder than usual.
“You’ll always have enough time to spare for me, so don’t worry.”
“Yes. I’ll keep that in mind.”
* * *
As soon as I left Lloydin’s study, I immediately wrote a letter to Luke. After sending the letter, I went to find Ian and invited him to go to the store together tomorrow.
Seeing how happy Ian was at the thought of going with his brother, laughter never left his lips.
Later, while working alone in the study, a reply arrived from Luke, much sooner than expected.
Fortunately, the reply was as I had anticipated.
After sending a reply expressing my gratitude to my brother, I finished my day’s work.
Returning to my bedroom and finishing my preparations for bed, Lloydin happened to enter.
As we did every day, we exchanged a few words before bedtime.
I had sent a letter to Luke, received a willing response from him, and after hearing that, we fell asleep comfortably.
* * *
It’s raining.
And quite heavily, it seems. The sound of rain hitting the window woke me up from my sleep.
I opened my eyes slowly, but it was too dark to see anything.
It was still midnight.
I hadn’t fully woken up yet, so I closed my eyes again to try to fall back asleep, but suddenly, an unfamiliar sensation enveloped my body.
‘What’s this?’
It felt like something was wrapping around me, giving me both a stifling feeling and a warm, cozy feeling.
One thing for sure, the feeling wasn’t bad at all.
It felt rather pleasant, similar to when I held Lloydin’s hand earlier.
But earlier, I distinctly remembered falling asleep holding his hand, yet strangely, both of my hands were free now.
In the midst of my puzzlement, I suddenly heard a faint rustling sound near my head.
Only then did I realize that it was the sound of Lloydin’s breathing as he slept, and that he was holding me.
‘What’s going on?’
Why is he holding me?
Unable to comprehend the situation, I lay still for a while, my body stiff.
But as I regained my senses, I began to carefully recall each memory to understand why Lloydin was holding me.
‘Could it be?’
Did I unconsciously hug Lloydin while sleeping?
And he, unaware of it, fell asleep while holding me?
Or perhaps, unable to let go because I was holding on tightly?
No matter how much I thought about it, this was the only possibility.
To go as far as doing this, in addition to holding hands.
Although it was a spontaneous action in my sleep, it wasn’t without fault.
I chastised myself inwardly for such thoughtless behavior.
Realizing that I couldn’t stay like this any longer, I carefully wriggled out of Lloydin’s embrace without waking him up.
However, Lloydin’s grip was stronger than I had anticipated, making it difficult to break free.
Still, after moving ever so slightly, I managed to distance myself from him and was about to escape.
Suddenly, Lloydin pulled me back into his embrace.
‘Ah.’
I sighed inwardly and instinctively held my breath, momentarily forgetting to even breathe as I closed my eyes and stopped moving.
I didn’t know why I had to pretend to be asleep, but my body reacted before my mind.
Hoping he hadn’t woken up, I waited to hear his even breaths.
“Hmm.”
However, to my surprise, instead of what I expected, I heard a deep sigh near my ear.
He let out several more sighs as if feeling uncomfortable or frustrated, then soon his breathing became regular again, indicating he had fallen asleep once more.
I slowly opened my eyes and glanced at the sleeping Lloydin in front of me.
Looking at his face, I felt conflicted.
Feeling sorry for him for not being able to refuse unwanted things and accepting them, I confirmed that all of this was something I didn’t want to do, making me feel awkward.
‘No. There’s nothing to feel awkward about.’
I knew.
He accepted this marriage to protect his younger brother and his family.
I, too, married to treat my illness, so there was no need for feelings of regret or frustration in this marriage made for each other’s purposes.
But despite such rational judgments, my heart was still unsettled, and I couldn’t fall asleep again for quite some time.
* * *
Due to the lack of sleep, it was difficult to gather my thoughts throughout the morning, despite the noisy household.
Nevertheless, today was the day to go out with Lloydin and Ian.
I gathered my resolve and finished getting ready before heading downstairs alone.
In the hall, Ian, with a face full of excitement, was already waiting for me.
‘Is he really that happy?’
Just the fact that he could spend time with his brother seemed to make Ian unable to hide his happiness.
“Ian, are you ready?”
“Yes, I’m all set.”
“Alright. Has the Duke not come out yet?”
“He just came out, but William found him, and they both went back to the study.”
“To the study?”
“Yes, it seemed urgent for some reason.”
“Is that so?”
Although I didn’t know what was going on, I dismissed it as nothing serious and engaged in intermittent conversation with Ian.
However, after waiting for about ten minutes without Lloydin showing up, a sense of unease began to creep over me.
“Should we wait here? I’ll go check.”
“…Sure.”
Seeing Ian’s expression change anxiously, I reassured him.
“It’s probably nothing. Just wait here a little longer.”
Comforting Ian, I was about to take a step forward, but just then, Lloydin appeared with the butler.
“Duke!”
“Brother!”
As Ian and I called out to Lloydin simultaneously, he glanced at us.
However, just by looking at his expression, it was evident that something was wrong or that an unexpected event had occurred.
“Lady, Ian.”
“What’s the matter?”
“Well… it seems like we won’t be able to go out together today.”
Upon hearing the sudden news delivered with a troubled expression, Ian’s face darkened abruptly.
“There’s an urgent imperial decree, and the Emperor has summoned Duke.”
“Oh… If you have to go to the imperial palace, there’s nothing we can do.”
It was regrettable, but if it was an imperial order, there was no avoiding it.
I quickly agreed, looking at Ian with a worried expression.
“He must have been excited about going with his brother.”
Sure enough, Ian’s face turned muddy at the news that Lloydin couldn’t go.
“Ian…”
Approaching Ian, Lloydin reached out and placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder.
“Sorry. I promised we’d go together.”
“…It’s okay.”
Ian replied with a voice that clearly indicated otherwise.
“Next time, let’s definitely go together. No matter what happens, I’ll keep the promise.”
Ian nodded with a drooping face.
“Ian, since the Duke can’t go, let’s enjoy our outing together. Okay?”
I tried to cheer Ian up with a bright tone.
“Hurry up and go. I’ll take care of Ian.”
Knowing that there was no time to delay, I urged Lloydin to leave quickly.
“Understood. Please take care of Ian.”
“Yes.”
Yet, Lloydin hesitated to leave.
Ian, with his head down and shoulders hunched, refused to look at Lloydin.
“Ian, have a good time, and I’ll see you later.”
Since there was no time to delay any longer, Lloydin hurriedly left the mansion.
Even until the end, Lloydin’s eyes were fixed on Ian, but the boy refused to lift his head.
“Ian, shall we go too?”
Calling Ian cautiously, he finally raised his head, and I understood why he hadn’t done so before.
He didn’t want to show his tear-filled eyes to his brother.
“Ian…”
Feeling sorry for the child, my heart ached.
“Brother, did he really go…?”
In a choked voice, Ian asked me.
“Yes, he just left.”
“I see…”
In Ian’s eyes, filled with sadness, a glimmer of resignation appeared.
Seeing that, a pang of pain hit my heart, reminiscent of my younger self on those days.
