Episode 49
“But who… Surely, madam, do you know how to play polo?”
“What? No! Of course, I don’t know how to play. I didn’t learn properly because I was afraid of falling asleep while riding, which is dangerous.”
“Oh, I see.”
Lloydin’s voice suddenly became subdued, as if he pitied me.
“You didn’t learn how to ride properly?”
“No. When I was young, I fell off and got seriously injured because I fell asleep while riding. Even though it was dangerous and I was told not to, I insisted on riding. But after that incident, even if I wanted to learn more, I couldn’t tell my parents. I didn’t want to worry them because of my selfishness.”
When I was about 12 years old, I used to whine about wanting to ride because I envied my brothers riding.
At first, my parents opposed it, but after pestering them for days, they eventually allowed it.
It seemed fine at first.
At that time, my symptoms weren’t as severe as they are now, so I thought it would be okay.
Since my brothers took turns riding with me, I felt even safer and let my guard down.
But it didn’t take long for things to go wrong.
It was a bright and breezy spring day.
After riding a few times, I gained confidence in horseback riding and begged to ride alone that day.
Crying and insisting on riding alone, eventually they gave in.
The feeling of looking around while riding alone was unforgettable.
It felt like the whole world was mine.
With an excited heart, I held the reins as I had learned, and applied pressure to the horse’s side.
As the horse started to move, the pleasant wind brushed through my hair.
After circling the riding ground slowly, I began to feel more confident.
The desire to ride faster kept urging me on.
I didn’t realize how dangerous it was with my young mind.
So, ignoring my brothers’ loud voices, I urged the horse on with all my might.
It felt amazing.
As we sped through space, I felt like I could go anywhere.
Enjoying the feeling of freedom, I kept riding.
Suddenly, all my strength drained from my body, and my vision began to blur.
“Oh, no!”
But this disease wasn’t something I could control just because I didn’t like it.
My hands had already let go of the reins, and my body, shaking on the horse, eventually fell to the ground.
After that, I fell into a deep sleep while feeling the pain.
Lost in memories for a moment, I unconsciously touched the back of my head.
“At that time, the injury left a scar, but fortunately, it could be hidden with hair.”
“Here, I also have a scar from that time.”
I brushed aside the hair covering the scar and showed it to Lloydin.
As he leaned forward, his scent enveloped me.
No matter when I smelled it, it was always a pleasant fragrance that soothed my mind.
“…It must have hurt a lot.”
A worried tone tickled my ears.
“At that time, the pain wasn’t really anything. More than the pain, it was a moment when I learned about giving up and resignation.”
It was the moment I vividly realized that with a painful body, I couldn’t do everything I wanted, and I had to learn to give up.
Thinking back to those emotions, a bitter smile formed.
Lloydin looked at me with a concerned expression.
It seemed like he was showing compassion towards me, just as I felt compassion for him.
“But now, it’ll be okay. Thanks to the Duke, my illness will be cured. When that happens, I want to freely ride horses again.”
Not wanting the atmosphere to become heavy, I raised my voice a bit and smiled broadly.
More than anything, I truly believed that this illness could be cured, and there would be nothing I couldn’t do afterward.
“That’s correct. When Madam recovers, I will teach her how to ride.”
Lloydin also responded to my hopeful words, and a gentle smile appeared on his lips.
“What about the Duke?”
“Yes, it’s something I must do.”
Was it because I was the madam?
But when I recover, I might not be the madam anymore…
“Well, I can think about that when the time comes.”
I responded positively, expecting that the situation could change at any moment.
So, with a casual mindset, I answered positively.
“Yes. Then, I assume the Duke will teach me. Oh, but what I wanted to say to the Duke wasn’t this.”
Whenever I was with Lloydin, conversations always seemed to drift away.
Even when I tried to have a conversation for a specific purpose, it would inevitably change course at some point.
It always seemed to be because of Lloydin.
The flow of conversation would be going as I intended, and suddenly, he would become curious about me, and the dialogue would shift.
It happened just like now.
“I’m not the one who’s going to teach Ian to play polo, Luke is.”
I redirected the flow of the conversation back to its original path.
“Young Master Luke, do you mean?”
“Yes. Brother Luke was quite a skilled polo player during his academy days. If I ask him, he won’t refuse.”
“Ian said he would do it?”
“Yes. If you permit, he agreed to learn. And just in case, I want to let you know that while he learns from Oppa, I will be with Ian to make sure there’s nothing to worry about.”
“Don’t worry. The madam’s family is now almost like my family too.”
Unexpectedly, those words came out of him.
I smiled slightly, a bit surprised, and agreed with his words.
“Yes, the Duke is right. Ian is like family to me now, isn’t he?”
Lloydin nodded.
“If Ian said he would do it, that settles it. By the way, it seems you’ve become quite close to Ian.”
“Yes, with only the three older brothers and no younger siblings, I always wished for a younger brother. But now that I have an adorable younger brother, I’m really happy. I want to get closer to him in the future.”
“Thank you for taking care of Ian in my busy schedule.”
“No need to thank me. I do it because I want to. Oh, by the way. Can I take Ian to the busy shopping district?”
“To the shopping district?”
“Yes, I want to buy some things needed for the academy.”
“Are you two going alone?”
“Yes? Since the Duke is busy…”
As if deliberately leaving Lloydin behind, he asked with a hint of sarcasm, and I hurriedly responded, justifying myself.
“I think I can make time tomorrow afternoon. How about going together?”
“Together? Oh, Ian would really like that. Please go together!”
Lloydin’s suggestion of going out together, thinking of Ian who would be pleased, made me clap my hands. He looked at me intently.
“Why… would you do that?”
Feeling puzzled by his gaze that seemed to pierce through me, I asked him.
“How about the madam?”
“Huh?”
“Is the madam not okay with it?”
As soon as I heard his unexpectedly straightforward question, I felt bewildered, and my mind went blank.
“Of course, I’m okay.”
I managed to regain my composure and responded with a wide smile, signaling that I was very happy.
“That’s a relief.”
As if the most important thing to him was that I was happy, Lloydin sighed with relief.
“Come to think of it, this is the first time we’re going out together?”
In fact, going out with him was still going out, but it felt like going somewhere without the pressure related to the illness for the first time in my life.
Feeling uplifted, I thought about going to places I hadn’t been able to visit freely.
“Do you have any other places you’d like to go besides the store?”
Oh, what’s this?
In a moment of surprise, I stared at him without closing my mouth.
“Madam?”
“Well, I was just thinking about that. But it was so surprising that you asked me the exact thing I was thinking, just as if you read my mind.”
“Is that so?”
“It’s really amazing.”
Still feeling surprised, I repeated the word ‘amazing.’
“So, do you have a place you’d like to go?”
“I don’t have a particular place in mind right now. I’ll think about it until tomorrow and let you know.”
