Episode 175

“It’s a bit cramped for two, but it’s still better than the floor.”

We’d reached this point of compromise only because the bed was clearly not spacious enough. If we both lay on it, we’d have to endure quite a bit of discomfort. Still, I couldn’t take the bed all to myself for convenience’s sake, and it seemed Lloydin felt the same.

Given the circumstances, sharing the bed seemed like the best choice.

“Besides, it’s not the first time we’ve shared a bed…” I murmured, barely audibly, more to myself than him.

Why did it feel so embarrassing, even though this wasn’t our first time? That night before we parted, we’d shared moments far more intimate than simply lying beside each other.

‘Ah.’

Suddenly, memories of that night flashed through my mind, and warmth rose to my cheeks. Afraid he might notice my flustered thoughts, I quickly lowered my head.

“Um… so, let’s just share the bed.”

I repeated my suggestion to him, still feeling a bit shy. But he remained silent as I spoke, without a single response.

‘Why is he just staring at me?’

Curious but too embarrassed to look up, I kept my head lowered, trying to ignore the heat on my face. Then, I felt his large hand gently cradle my cheek, lifting my face up to meet his gaze.

His dark eyes locked onto mine, and the flush that had barely started to fade came rushing back. The way he looked at me now reminded me of that night, of the intensity in his gaze as he looked down at me.

Lloydin’s eyes held me captive, as if he didn’t want to let go even for a second.

“Duke…?”

I barely managed to whisper his name, feeling a strange tension fill the air between us.

But still, he said nothing, simply looking at me in silence. After what felt like an eternity, just as I was about to call out to him again, he finally spoke, his voice lower than it had been moments before.

“There is something I want to ask you, my lady.”

“…What is it?”

“May I ask?”

“Yes, of course.”

What could he possibly be wondering about that he’d hesitate this much?

I waited, my gaze fixed on his lips, expecting his question. But staring at his lips only reminded me of the feeling of them against mine, of the softness and warmth that lingered each time we kissed.

‘Soft… warm…’

Every kiss had left me feeling dazed, his touch so intense that even thinking of it now felt intoxicating.

Oh, what am I thinking now?

Why is my mind like this? This wasn’t normal. Maybe I was just too tired?

Yes, that had to be it—exhaustion was making my thoughts stray in strange directions. I needed to focus. Lloydin had something to ask me, and that’s what I should concentrate on.

But the more I tried, the more persistent those memories became, and soon I was too lost in them to hear what he was saying.

“…is that all right?”

“…Huh?” I blinked, realizing too late that I hadn’t caught what he’d said.

“What did you say?”

Shaking off the embarrassing thoughts, I forced myself to look at him, trying to concentrate solely on his words.

“I’m sorry, I… I was distracted. Could you repeat it once more?”

“You… were distracted?”

“Yes? No, not like that…”

His expression shifted, looking almost hurt by the idea that my thoughts had drifted even with him standing so close. Seeing that sadness in his eyes, I panicked, words tumbling out in a rush.

“No, really, it’s not like that! I was just… staring at your lips, and… well, strange thoughts popped into my head… I mean, that is…”

Before I could stop myself, I’d practically confessed everything I’d been thinking about, my flustered thoughts spilling out like an open book.

“…What exactly were you thinking, looking at my lips?”

“What? I… what…?”

As soon as he mentioned my focus on his lips, a wave of embarrassment, awkwardness, and shame crashed over me. I clamped my mouth shut, avoiding his gaze as best as I could, but Lloydin seized the opportunity, pressing me further.

“Tell me, my lady, what exactly were you thinking as you looked at my lips? I’m curious,” he said with a gentle, yet insistent tone.

Despite the sincere plea in his voice, I shook my head firmly, determined not to answer. If I confessed my thoughts, he’d know every embarrassing detail of my wayward imagination. I could only imagine what he’d think of me, letting my mind wander to such heated memories in the midst of this serious situation.

“Will you really not tell me?” he asked.

I kept my lips sealed, nodding in silence.

“…Very well. If you won’t tell me, then I suppose there’s nothing I can do,” he sighed, his expression growing visibly disappointed.

The moment I saw that forlorn look, my heart wavered like a reed in the wind.

‘What should I do?’

He always had this effect on me. Whenever he looked that way, I couldn’t help but feel my resolve weaken. Even now, I wanted to stay firm, but it was incredibly difficult.

Hold it together. If I reveal my thoughts, he might genuinely think I’m strange.

Yes, just avoid his gaze. If I can just get through this moment, everything will be fine…

With that, I shut my eyes tightly, refusing to look at him. But blocking out his words was impossible.

“So… you’ve decided to keep everything from me now, haven’t you?”

“No, it’s not that!”

His sad, pleading voice was my undoing, and I finally blurted out a response, unable to resist any longer.

“Then why won’t you say anything to me…?”

“It’s not because I want to keep it from you! I… I’m just afraid you’ll be disappointed…”

But despite my words, I couldn’t bring myself to say any more. Lloydin, however, gazed at me with a warm and encouraging expression, his gentle eyes reassuring me.

“I could never be disappointed in you, no matter what you say. How could I ever be?”

“…Really?”

“Yes. So, please tell me.”

“You… you can’t look at me strangely. It was just a fleeting thought…”

“I understand.”

Taking a deep breath, bolstered by his promise, I gathered the courage to speak.

“It’s just… looking at your lips reminded me of us… when we kissed before. I kept thinking about that moment, and I couldn’t focus on what you were saying…”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I lowered my head, unable to look at him. I was such a fool. How could I let such an embarrassing moment happen right after reuniting with him?

Just as I was berating myself, I felt Lloydin’s hand on my cheek, gently lifting my face.

Even as I raised my head, I tried to avoid his gaze, fearing he might be looking at me with disappointment or discomfort.

But when I caught a glimpse of his expression, it was nothing like what I’d expected.

Instead, he wore a faint, pleased smile as he looked at me.

“…You were thinking about kissing me when you looked at my lips?”

Startled, I couldn’t help but stare at him, my face a mix of bewilderment and embarrassment.

“…What?”

“So you were imagining kissing me?” he asked, his tone laced with amusement.

“No! I was just… thinking about that moment in the past. That’s all. Please believe me,” I insisted, waving my hands in a flustered gesture. I was only recalling our past kisses, not imagining anything in the present.

But then, his next words froze me in place.

“…To be honest, I’ve been thinking about it too.”

“Huh?”

“Since you first stepped into this tent, I’ve been wanting to kiss you.”

At first, I didn’t fully comprehend what he meant. But as his words sank in, I felt my breath catch, and I could do nothing but stare at him in stunned silence.