Episode 151

“You’re probably tired too, Jade. Let’s head upstairs.”

As I made my way toward the door, Jade called out to me.

“Ayla.”

I turned to look at him and responded, “Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

Jade’s expression twisted with guilt as he suddenly apologized.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“It feels like you made that choice because of me and Her Highness, Princess Daina…”

“That’s not it.”

I interrupted him, responding firmly.

“As I said earlier, I did it for everyone.”

“But…”

“Jade.”

I quickly cut him off before he could say anything else.

“No one needs to feel sorry for me. This was my decision. No one forced me to do this, and no one asked me to do it. I thought it through and made the choice on my own. So, there’s no need for you to apologize.”

“…But I still feel sorry.”

Even after all that, Jade continued to express his guilt.

I watched him quietly for a moment before speaking again.

“If anyone should apologize, it’s me. All of this happened because of me.”

“No, Ayla. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“It’s because of the choice I made to treat my illness that things ended up like this. So, it’s my fault.”

“No, Ayla. Please don’t say that.”

Jade’s face contorted with pain as he pleaded with me.

“Then don’t feel sorry for me either. Is that fair?”

“…Alright. I understand.”

“Good. Now, shall we go upstairs?”

Jade nodded.

“Let’s go.”

With that, we left the dining room and headed toward our respective rooms.

But as I approached my room after parting with Jade, I noticed that Luke was standing outside my door.

“Luke, why are you here?”

I asked, surprised to see him waiting for me.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Luke said.

“What about?” I asked.

“Let’s go inside first.”

“Alright.”

I followed Luke into my room. He immediately took a seat on the sofa and gestured for me to sit across from him. Once I settled in, he spoke.

“What are you planning to do?”

“About what?”

“About your future. What do you intend to do now?”

“What else? Now that I’m back home, I’ll do what I want, as much as I want.”

I answered lightly, trying to downplay the seriousness of his question. But Luke frowned, clearly displeased with my nonchalant attitude.

“Are you really going to marry the Crown Prince?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Hah, Ayla…”

Luke sighed heavily, sounding frustrated.

“You still have feelings for Duke Blighton, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do. I like him a lot.”

At this point, not just my parents but even my brothers knew how I felt about Lloydin. It was no secret, given how obvious I had made it. Since they already knew, I saw no point in hiding it and answered honestly.

“Then how can you marry someone else?”

“It’s surprising to hear that coming from you, Luke.”

“Don’t joke around.”

Luke scolded me as I continued to respond lightly, his expression hardening.

“I’m not joking… But you’ve really changed, haven’t you?”

Luke looked a bit embarrassed, clearing his throat.

“Don’t change the subject. We’re talking about you right now.”

He quickly shifted back to his serious demeanor, realizing what he had done.

“Guess I failed to distract you.”

“Ayla, seriously, think it over again. If you go through with this, there’s no turning back.”

“I’ve thought it over enough.”

“Ayla, really…”

“Luke, I’m serious. Do you think this decision was easy for me? I’m just making the best choice I can.”

I wiped the playful expression off my face, smiling faintly but with a determined look in my eyes.

“So please, respect my decision.”

“…So you’re not reconsidering?”

“No.”

“…Alright. I’ll respect your choice.”

“Thank you, Luke.”

“But if you ever change your mind or need my help, promise you’ll come to me first. Understand?”

“Okay, I promise.”

Luke gave me a firm warning, and I nodded in agreement.

“Then get some rest.”

“You too, Luke.”

After Luke left, I was alone in my room again.

And then, thoughts of Lloydin filled my mind.

‘I miss him.’

I wondered what Lloydin was doing at that moment.

Was he thinking about me too?

As selfish as it might be, I hoped he was.

I wanted him to think of me, to miss me…

‘No, no.’

I shook my head.

He shouldn’t do that. He should forget about me quickly and find someone else…

“Ah, I don’t want to cry.”

The moment I imagined Lloydin with someone else, tears welled up in my eyes.

I forced myself to hold them back, trying to focus on something else.

Think about anything else.

But once the thought had taken root, it only grew stronger, overwhelming me.

In the end, the tears I had been holding back flowed like a waterfall, and I buried my face in my pillow, crying silently throughout the night.

* * *

The next day, my father gathered the family in his study.

“As the head of the Anaïs family, I will respect Ayla’s wishes.”

With that single sentence from my father, my mother and both of my brothers had nothing more to say.

After lunch, I prepared to head to the palace.

Once everything was ready, my mother saw me off.

“Take care.”

“Father and my brothers said they would be back by evening, right?”

My father and brothers had left earlier in the day for work, before I did.

“Yes, they did.”

“I’ll be back soon.”

“Alright. Be careful.”

“Yes, Mother.”

After my mother saw me off, I boarded the carriage and headed to the palace.

Usually, when I visited the palace, I went to the princess’s quarters, but today, my destination was different.

Soon, the carriage arrived in front of the Crown Prince’s residence.

As I was about to step out, the carriage door opened, and a hand was suddenly extended toward me.

The scene instantly reminded me of the first time I visited Duke Blighton’s estate.

Back then, Lloydin had extended his hand to me, telling me to take it.

The moment I touched his hand, I had been overwhelmed by a vivid, exhilarating feeling.

Lost momentarily in memories of the past, I quickly snapped back to the present and looked at the hand now offered to me.

It was slightly smaller than Lloydin’s but clearly belonged to an adult man.

‘The Crown Prince’s hand.’

I didn’t really want to take it.

Conflicted but with little choice, I reluctantly placed my hand in his.

‘Unpleasant.’

Unlike with Lloydin, a wave of discomfort washed over me, making me want to pull my hand away immediately.

But just as I began to do so, the man’s grip tightened, clearly displeased with my reaction.

At that moment, the door fully opened, revealing the Crown Prince standing before me.

I barely managed to suppress a frown as I stepped out of the carriage and greeted him.

“Greetings, Your Highness.”

“Welcome.”

As soon as the greeting ended, I tried to withdraw my hand, but the Crown Prince didn’t let go.

“My hand, please…”

“Oh, my apologies.”

He released my hand with a face that showed no trace of regret.

I discreetly pulled my hand back and wiped it on my dress, as if trying to clean off something dirty.

“There was no need for you to come out to greet me… Thank you.”

“I plan to greet you like this from now on, so there’s no need to feel uncomfortable.”

“Oh… I see.”

I nearly let my discomfort show on my face but managed to hide it.

“Shall we take a walk?”

“Excuse me?”

The Crown Prince pointed toward the garden instead of the palace.

As I looked at him in surprise, he quickly explained.

“The weather is nice, so I thought we could talk while walking in the garden.”

“Oh, I see. Alright.”

I followed the Crown Prince as he led me toward the garden.

“Winter is almost here.”

“Yes, it is.”

With that, we exchanged a few more mundane comments.

Of course, I only responded with short answers whenever he spoke to me.

Occasionally, I reminded myself to add a word or two more, lest I upset him.

After a while, we sat down on a bench in the garden.

“You came to see me today for a reason, didn’t you?”

The Crown Prince looked at me with a relaxed smile as he asked.

“Yes, I have something to tell you.”

His demeanor irked me, but I steeled myself, trying to keep my emotions in check.

Then, I opened my mouth to say the words he had been waiting to hear.