Episode 145

A heavy silence settled around us.

Lloydin seemed deep in thought, and I sat quietly, waiting. I wanted to say something, anything, to break the tension, but the atmosphere made it hard to find the right words.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Lloydin spoke, his voice cutting through the stillness.

“My lady.”

His voice was cold, so cold that it sent a shiver down my spine.

“Yes, my lord.”

When I looked at him, his eyes were as icy as his voice.

“I would usually let you speak until the end, but today… I find that I cannot.”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you say… you want a divorce?”

He sighed deeply before saying the word “divorce,” as if it pained him to even speak it.

“Yes…”

“And you said you wanted to give me freedom?”

“Yes.”

His tone was calm, but the way he repeated my words made me feel as though I was walking a tightrope. I answered carefully, unsure of what would come next.

“Freedom… Do you believe that divorcing you would give me freedom?”

“Well…”

His last question caught me off guard, and my mind raced with conflicting thoughts. This was not the reaction I had anticipated.

The kind, considerate man I had known seemed to be hiding behind a wall of coldness and detachment. There was an unfamiliar tension in the air, making me question everything I thought I knew about him.

Was this really the same man who had always reassured me that everything would be fine? He seemed like a completely different person, and that difference left me feeling more confused than ever.

But now wasn’t the time to dwell on that.

I had to focus on ending this today. If I didn’t, there would be consequences I couldn’t undo. I needed to stay sharp and do what had to be done.

‘Get a grip.’

Finally pulling myself out of my daze, I quickly gathered my thoughts and began to speak again.

“Yes, I believe it will give you freedom.”

It might not be complete freedom, but he needed to see it that way. So I spoke firmly and continued without hesitation.

“As I mentioned earlier, the purpose of our marriage was clear from the start, wasn’t it?”

Lloydin remained silent, staring at me with an intensity that made it seem like he was trying to see through me.

I refused to look away and continued, keeping my voice steady.

“I married you to cure my illness, and you married me to protect Ian and your family. While Ian’s situation was resolved before we married, mine took time.”

Lloydin listened without saying a word, as if he was testing how far I would go. Despite the weight of his gaze, I kept my expression neutral and pressed on.

“And now, my goal has been achieved. I am no longer ill.”

I paused, taking a deep breath to steady myself before speaking again.

“That’s why I no longer have a reason to stay here. So, let’s not hold onto each other any longer. Let’s give each other the freedom we deserve.”

As I said this, I had to force myself not to speak the words that were truly in my heart.

When I first approached Lloydin about marriage, I had promised to help him solve Ian’s situation. But in my heart, I had also vowed to free him from the shackles of his family and give him true freedom.

I hadn’t forgotten that promise, and it still held true. The only difference was that I could no longer stay by his side to fulfill it.

Freedom.

It was an issue of great importance to both of us. I had never known a life free from the burden of my illness, and Lloydin had never been free from the obligations of his family.

Perhaps that’s why I had given my heart to him so quickly.

I understood his pain better than anyone, and just as I wanted to be free, I wanted him to be free as well.

Even after parting ways with him, I felt a strong sense of duty to uncover the secrets of the Blighton family and ultimately grant Lloydin the freedom he deserved. It was the only way I could repay him for giving me a new life.

But as much as I thought about it, I couldn’t reveal these feelings to him. So I had to speak to him in the way I did.

“I no longer have a reason to stay here…”

In the quiet, Lloydin repeated my words, as if trying to absorb them.

“And if I gave you a reason to stay?”

“What?”

I blinked, confused by his unexpected question.

“If I could give you a reason to stay in this house, would you remain here?”

“What? What do you mean by that…?”

A reason to stay? What could he possibly be thinking?

Seeing my bewilderment, Lloydin spoke in a calm yet firm tone.

“I have no intention of divorcing you or letting you go. If you need a reason to stay, then I’ll create one.”

“Lloydin!”

I raised my voice in frustration, realizing he had no intention of respecting my decision.

“And I don’t need freedom.”

He didn’t need freedom? Of all the surprising things he’d said, this one struck me the hardest. I had always believed that he, more than anyone, longed for freedom. How could he say he didn’t need it?

“The kind of freedom that comes at the cost of losing you is worthless to me.”

His words finally started to make sense. He was telling me that he valued our relationship more than any freedom. But instead of feeling relief, I was overwhelmed with confusion and disbelief.

If things continued like this, I wouldn’t be able to convince him. I felt a growing sense of despair as I realized I was trapped, unable to move forward or backward.

‘What should I do?’

As I struggled to find a way out, the moon suddenly disappeared behind a cloud, plunging us into darkness. The pitch-black night reflected my own feelings—a future so dark I couldn’t see even an inch ahead.

‘I don’t know what to do. How can I convince him?’

I searched for a solution, but my mind was blank.

Just as I stared ahead, lost in thought, Lloydin broke the silence.

“Have I done something wrong?”

“What?”

I turned to him, shocked by the vulnerability in his voice.

Lloydin’s face had changed completely; he looked as though he might break down in tears at any moment.

“If I’ve done something wrong, I’ll fix it. But please, don’t say you’re going to leave me.”

“Lloydin…”

It had been a long time since I’d seen him this vulnerable, not since Ian had lost control. But even then, he hadn’t seemed as fragile and unstable as he did now.

“I’ll change, my lady. Please…”

“No, no, you haven’t done anything wrong, Lloydin.”

I tried to hide my own panic as I attempted to calm him down.

“It’s not because you’ve done something wrong. It’s just that…”

I paused, letting out a sigh of frustration.

‘Damn it.’

Seeing Lloydin in tears was weakening my resolve. I couldn’t afford to waver, but his tears had a powerful effect on me.

I clenched my hands, trying to resist the urge to reach out and comfort him.

“It’s no one’s fault. It’s just that now that the purpose of our marriage has been fulfilled, I see no reason to continue in this situation.”

I repeated what I had said earlier, trying again to make him understand.

“Why should that mean we have to part?”

“What?”

“Just because the purpose has been fulfilled, do we really have to separate?”

His words kept circling back to the same point, and I felt increasingly suffocated. Not just because I had to keep repeating myself, but also because I couldn’t tell him the whole truth. The frustration of it all made it feel like I was struggling to breathe.