Episode 143

When I returned to the estate, Lloydin was out.

I was relieved, as I needed time to think before he returned.

I headed straight to the study and began contemplating what to do next.

Yet, the conclusion remained the same as before.

‘If only I give up…’

If only I sacrifice… No, this isn’t a sacrifice.

I’m just taking responsibility for something I caused.

The actions I took to survive have now come back to haunt me.

So, there was no need to feel wronged or resentful.

‘Everything will be fine.’

Time has a way of making everything fade, including my feelings for Lloydin.

He will… forget me too, won’t he?

If we part ways like this, will he be able to forget me and live well?

As much as I hoped he would, the thought of him moving on made my heart ache, as if someone had gripped it tightly.

And before I knew it, tears began to stream down my cheeks.

‘No.’

I told myself to stop thinking that way.

I mustn’t be selfish.

I’ve been selfish enough already.

So…

I kept promising myself that I would pray for Lloydin to forget me and live happily, but it wasn’t easy.

As I sat in the study, trying to comfort myself while the tears wouldn’t stop, I heard a knock at the door.

Knock, knock.

“My lady, the Duke has returned.”

“The Duke…?”

I thought he would come back later.

I hurriedly wiped away my tears, cleared my throat, and spoke.

“Yes. He has passed through the main gate and will arrive at the estate shortly.”

“Oh… I’m in the middle of something, so I don’t think I can greet him…”

I was worried that if I went out now, Lloydin would notice that I had been crying.

I needed time to calm myself and return my tear-streaked face to its usual state.

“Ah, I will inform the Duke accordingly.”

“Alright.”

I heard the butler’s footsteps gradually retreat from the study.

“Sigh.”

I let out a long sigh that had been building up inside me, then quickly wiped my tears with a handkerchief.

I tried my best to cover up my reddened eyes, to make it seem like I hadn’t been crying.

But then, just as I was calming down, there was another knock at the study door.

“My lady.”

It was Lloydin.

“Duke?”

“Yes, it’s me. Are you very busy?”

“Oh, no… I’ll be out soon. Could you wait for me in the bedroom?”

“Alright. I’ll wait in the bedroom.”

“Yes, I’ll be there shortly.”

Fortunately, Lloydin spoke to me without opening the door, so he didn’t notice my condition.

I took a deep breath and checked my reflection in the mirror.

The traces of tears had mostly faded.

‘It should be fine now.’

I was relieved.

Although my face had calmed down, my mind was still unsettled.

Facing Lloydin in the bedroom and saying what I had resolved to say felt more daunting and exhausting than ever.

‘You can do this.’

I kept telling myself in the mirror that I could do it.

I really could.

With one last firm clench of my fists, I left the study.

When I entered the bedroom, I found Lloydin standing by the window with his back turned.

“Duke.”

“My lady.”

At the sound of my voice, Lloydin turned to face me.

The moment I saw his face, I felt a surge of emotion that nearly made me burst into tears again.

‘No, don’t cry.’

If I cried now, all the effort I’d put into keeping myself together would be for nothing.

I had to stay strong, at least until everything was over.

Calming myself once more, I slowly walked towards him.

“What were you looking at?” I asked.

In response, Lloydin immediately wrapped his arms around my shoulders, and I saw what he had been gazing at.

“That’s…”

“The pond is finished.”

“Oh, it is.”

Lloydin had promised to build a pond similar to the one at the Anaïs estate, and now it was finally completed.

He had mentioned that it would be finished soon, but I hadn’t expected it to be today of all days…

The pond I had been so looking forward to seeing—today would be the last time I’d ever see it.

Or maybe it was fortunate that I got to see it at least once.

I didn’t know.

Faced with this cruel twist of fate, I couldn’t think clearly.

I stood there, staring blankly at the pond, completely forgetting what I needed to do, until Lloydin’s gentle voice brought me back to reality.

“I had it made for you. Does it resemble the one at the Anaïs estate?”

“Oh… yes, it does. It’s very similar.”

“I’m glad. There’s going to be a full moon tonight. Let’s go see it together later.”

“Later? Tonight?”

“Yes. There’s something I’d like to tell you as well.”

“Oh, what is it? Couldn’t you tell me now…?”

I almost asked if he could tell me now, but I quickly stopped myself.

I still had one day left.

There was no need to rush. A voice in my head whispered that I should take my time.

‘It’s okay to hear what he has to say first.’

I would carry these memories with me for the rest of my life. I wanted to hold onto just a little more before everything ended.

“Alright. Let’s take a walk in the garden later,” I agreed.

“Very well. I’ll finish my work quickly so that we can have time after dinner.”

“Yes, Duke.”

But just as I thought Lloydin was about to move, he remained standing still, looking at me.

“Duke?”

When I looked at him with a puzzled expression, he gently caressed my cheek.

As he slowly leaned in, it seemed like he was about to kiss me.

On any other day, I would have closed my eyes without a second thought, but today was different.

Conflicted and unsure, I instinctively turned my head away.

If I accepted his kiss now, it would make the words I needed to say later feel like a lie.

And if that happened, Lloydin would doubt me, and things would only get more complicated.

“It’s just that… it feels a bit embarrassing in broad daylight,” I mumbled, grasping for an excuse.

I had shared countless kisses with him, day and night, so my excuse was flimsy at best.

“I apologize. That was a mistake on my part.”

“No, it’s not that… I just…”

But he accepted my clumsy excuse without hesitation.

Seeing Lloydin give me a small, apologetic smile made my heart feel even more conflicted.

“…I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m the one who should apologize.”

“That’s not it…”

Once again, I couldn’t bring myself to say what I needed to and fell silent.

I felt foolish, and the situation felt so suffocating that I couldn’t control my emotions.

“You should get back to work.”

“…Yes, I’ll be going now. Please rest.”

“Yes, I will.”

And so, I ended up ushering him out of the bedroom quickly.

Thud.

Lloydin left, and the door closed behind him.

Now that I was alone, the tears threatened to come again.

“Don’t cry.”

Please, don’t cry.

Crying won’t change anything.

And I would have to face Lloydin again soon, so I couldn’t afford to cry.

I bit down hard on my lip, trying to channel the pain elsewhere to lessen the ache in my heart, but it didn’t help at all.

Then my eyes fell on the pond Lloydin had created.

Strangely, the sight of it made the urge to cry disappear.

And slowly, the storm of emotions began to calm.

Lloydin had made that pond for me.

It hadn’t existed before.

In the future I had seen, or in the original story, I was certain that this pond didn’t exist.

But Lloydin had changed that.

Even with just this, the future had already begun to change.

And that pond would remain there, even if I could never see it again.

It didn’t matter.

As long as I lived, that was enough.

As long as I didn’t die, as I had seen in the dream, everything would be alright.

With that thought, I felt a deep sense of calm wash over me.

The day gradually turned to dusk.

When it was time for dinner, I steeled myself and went downstairs to the dining room.

After sharing our final meal together, Lloydin and I went out for a walk in the garden.

To bring our story to a close.

And to change the fate that had been written.