Episode 128

Lloydin’s puzzling question made me tilt my head in thought.

My previous response seemed to cover everything.

I thought the matter was settled when Lloydin agreed with my words.

But I couldn’t quite grasp the intent behind his repeated question.

So, I carefully observed him and pondered deeply when a sudden realization struck me.

‘Ah!’

I finally understood why Lloydin was asking this.

He wanted reassurance.

He probably wanted to hear once more that the Anaïs family and he were equally important to me, driven by a sense of insecurity.

Believing I had deciphered his thoughts, I lifted my head from his shoulder and smiled brightly, repeating what I had said before.

“Yes. They are equal. To me, you and Ian are as precious as my parents and brothers.”

“…Is that so.”

I expected him to be satisfied with this answer, but his expression remained shadowed.

‘Why is that?’

I felt I had missed the mark and began replaying our conversation from the start.

Then, I recalled what he had said before asking his question.

He had agreed with the Crown Prince.

What had the Crown Prince said?

I reached back to our conversation in the garden.

The Crown Prince had said that Lloydin wouldn’t think the same.

So, given the context, it meant that Lloydin didn’t view his family and spouse as equals.

If they weren’t equal, then…

The conclusion was clear.

To Lloydin, Ian was more precious than I was.

‘Is he feeling guilty because of this?’

Ah, that made sense now.

I finally understood why his expression had darkened.

Though he had agreed with me in the moment, he was bothered by the lie.

Knowing his honest and sincere nature, it was no surprise.

But as before, I wasn’t upset or hurt by the idea that Lloydin valued Ian more.

Although we loved each other, Ian was special to him.

So, it was only natural for me to accept it.

Having reached this conclusion, I decided to share my thoughts with him.

“Your Grace.”

“Yes, my dear.”

“You don’t consider Ian and me equal, do you?”

“…That’s correct.”

‘As expected.’

Hearing the confirmation of my guess, I felt a sense of relief.

“So, Ian is more precious to you than I am?”

Lloydin stared at me silently.

I interpreted his silence as guilt and continued with a small smile.

“Are you feeling guilty about that? But you don’t need to. I know how you’ve taken care of Ian all this time. Therefore, I…”

“That’s not it.”

As I was quickly explaining my thoughts to Lloydin, he suddenly interrupted me.

“Yes?”

“…To me, you are more precious. Ian is important, but… I’ve realized you are more important to me.”

Lloydin’s words left me speechless.

I stared at him, dumbfounded, as he continued speaking.

“But do you know what I thought when you said your family and I were equal?”

“…What did you think?”

“I felt disappointed. I wanted to be your number one as well. That’s my honest feeling.”

His unexpected confession left my mind reeling.

“Oh…”

I mechanically responded, looking at him, and saw the anxiety and fear in his eyes.

“Are you disappointed in me?”

“What?”

I couldn’t understand the flow of the conversation.

Why would he think I was disappointed in him?

Hurriedly, I spoke up.

“What do you mean? Why would I be disappointed in you?”

“Haa…”

Lloydin sighed deeply, as if finding it hard to answer.

I waited patiently for him to speak again, not wanting to interrupt.

“I didn’t realize I could be so petty. I thought you’d be disappointed in me. That’s why you’re not saying anything, isn’t it?”

“No, I’m not disappointed in you at all.”

Disappointed?

I was just so stunned by what he had said that my mind had gone blank for a moment.

“Your words surprised me a bit, but disappointed? How could I be disappointed when you say I’m the most precious to you?”

As I mentioned earlier, it didn’t bother me if he valued Ian more.

More accurately, I had never considered myself to be more important than Ian to him, so I never felt any resentment.

But hearing Lloydin say I was more important to him…

To be honest, it made me incredibly happy.

Knowing that someone considers me their number one, especially when that person is Lloydin, filled me with joy.

I started to understand why he felt disappointed.

If someone I considered the most precious didn’t see me as their number one, I’d feel hurt too.

“I’m not disappointed at all. And I understand why you felt that way.”

“…Really? Do you really understand?”

Lloydin looked at me with disbelief, seeking reassurance.

“Yes. Truly. And…”

As I was about to say the next part, a wave of embarrassment washed over me.

I paused, fixing my gaze on his face, and gathered my courage.

“Honestly… hearing that I’m the most precious to you made me really happy.”

“My Dear”

The anxiety in his eyes vanished instantly.

“So, does that mean…”

“Yes?”

“Can I also be your number one?”

His eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t quite decipher.

“Well… um…”

I struggled to find the right words to say.

I appreciated his feelings and was happy, but I wasn’t sure if I could give him the answer he wanted.

Lying wasn’t an option, and I feared that being honest might hurt him.

As I hesitated, Lloydin gently cupped my cheek with his large hand.

“I know what your answer is.”

“…I’m sorry.”

I apologized for not being able to give him the answer he wanted.

“There’s no need to apologize.”

“I want to answer you, but…”

“Then, can you promise me one thing?”

“What is it?”

“When the day comes that I become your number one, will you tell me?”

“…Yes, I promise.”

I nodded, not pulling away from his hand.

Lloydin smiled faintly, and I felt a deep sense of relief.

But I couldn’t know when that day would come.

It might come, or it might never come.

Choosing between my family and Lloydin was a difficult matter for me.

Still, I was grateful and happy that Lloydin understood me.

I leaned in and hugged him around the neck.

“Thank you for understanding me.”

“I should be the one thanking you.”

“Why would you thank me?”

“For understanding me as well. So from now on…”

“Yes?”

“Never mind.”

He held me tighter as if he would never let me go.

I nestled deeper into his arms, feeling a warm, contented smile spread across my face.

We stayed like that for a while, but then Lloydin gently pulled me away.

His face drew closer, and as I looked at him, I felt his soft lips touch mine, making me slowly close my eyes.